When her dad phoned to tell her about the discovery of Robbie’s body, Paige’s first instinct had been to board the first flight back to Australia, but Solomon had convinced her to at least enjoy a few days of their honeymoon first. After a phone call with Josie who’d assured her there was nothing she could do anyway, the few days extended to almost two weeks. Due to the nature of Robbie’s death, the coroner had held onto the body for ten days and Paige and Sol landed back in Sydney the day before the funeral.
They got a taxi straight from the airport to Josie’s house.
‘She might not be there,’ Sol said with a yawn. ‘She might be at her grandmother’s place sorting any last-minute details for the funeral.’
‘Then I’ll call her,’ Paige said, ‘but it’s on our way home anyway.’
Sol raised an eyebrow—Josie and Nik’s place wasn’t exactly on their way—but it was worth the detour as they found Josie at home.
Nik answered their call through the intercom. ‘It’s the newlyweds,’ he called as the door clicked open. He met them in the communal entrance seconds later and gave them both massive hugs. ‘Congratulations, you sly dogs, you.’
‘Oh my God,’ Josie squealed as she pushed past her husband to get to them. ‘What are you guys doing here?’
The smile on her face relaxed Paige’s heart—she didn’t look too bad for someone who had just lost their father.
‘Well,’ Paige said, ‘quite aside from the fact we’ve gambled away our meagre life savings and spent the rest on flights, food and accommodation, I wanted to be here for you, for tomorrow.’
‘Thank you.’ Josie pulled her into a tight hug.
‘You look like you need a coffee,’ Nik said, and Paige knew that comment was directed at Sol.
‘Yes, come in, come in,’ Josie agreed, ‘you can tell us all about your nuptials.’
‘So you’re not angry we got married without you?’ Paige asked.
Josie shook her head. ‘I’ve got too much else in my head to be angry, besides, as I’ve always said, your wedding should be about the two of you, so it’s your prerogative to get married however the hell you want.’
‘Let’s hope our parents see it your way.’
Nik and Josie laughed. ‘You haven’t seen them yet?’ he asked.
‘You’re first on our agenda,’ Sol said, stifling another yawn and gesturing to their three suitcases—one of which carried the dress—behind them on the floor.
Nik helped Sol drag them into the apartment while Paige and Josie went through to the kitchen.
‘How are you?’ Paige asked as she sat herself down at the breakfast counter. ‘I was so sorry to hear about Robbie. You must be devastated.’
Josie grabbed a handful of coffee pods from a little basket on her bench. ‘Thanks,’ she said as she started making the drinks. ‘I’m doing okay. It was a shock—I so hoped we’d find him—but it’s also really weird, being so involved in something so big yet also feeling on the outer. I went with Clara and Brenda to talk to the funeral director but it all feels a bit surreal.’
‘I can imagine.’
‘Like, I’m sad, really sad—for Brenda, for Clara and also for Robbie himself. I’m heartbroken he wanted to meet me and that never happened, but I’m more upset by the whole situation than I am bereaved. I feel more than I would have had I just heard someone I know talking about someone they know, yet that’s really all this is. It’s hard to mourn someone you never really knew.’ Josie shook her head. ‘I’m probably not making much sense.’
‘No, you are. Perfect sense.’
‘Keeping busy helps. Looking after Brenda and getting to know her, helping her and Clara organise the funeral, it all helps, but seeing you is such a wonderful reprieve from all of it. Thank you so much for coming back.’
Paige beamed at Josie’s words as Sol and Nik came into the kitchen.
‘Here you are.’ Josie handed him the first cup.
‘Thanks.’ He took a long sip as if it were the elixir of life.
When Josie finished the other coffees, Nik and Sol took theirs into the lounge room. Paige and Josie meant to do the same but they got talking again before they made it out of the kitchen.
‘Tell me about the wedding,’ Josie said, leaning back against the bench and then taking a sip of her drink. ‘How’d you manage to organise flights and everything so quickly?’
‘Solomon did pretty much everything. He’s amazing.’
Josie grinned. ‘Well, you’ve certainly got that post-honeymoon glow. And I see you did end up wearing the dress. Don’t tell me you got married by an Elvis Impersonator?’
‘No.’ Paige laughed. ‘We contemplated that for all of five seconds and then decided it was too tacky. We ended up choosing a really cute little chapel and a gay guy that I kid you not looked like Franck from Father of the Bride did the deed.’
‘Oh my God, I loved him. And that’s one of my favourite movies.’
‘Are any movies not your favourite movies?’
‘Well, I didn’t love the sequel. In fact, I’m sure you’ll agree, most sequels are crap.’
Paige nodded. ‘Speaking of the dress, I’ll get it dry-cleaned and then give it back to you. I promise I took good care of it and there’s not a stain or anything on it, but it has been stuffed in a suitcase twice for almost twenty-four hours, so—’
‘About the dress,’ Josie interrupted. ‘How would you feel if I donated it to a charity?’
The question took Paige by surprise—Josie had been so adamant about keeping it. ‘What charity?’
‘Clara told me about a charity that takes old wedding dresses and makes them into beautiful gowns for stillborn babies. Nothing can bring such a baby back, but having lost three children in gestation myself, I know that grief, I know that heartache, and I like the idea that maybe instead of sitting in a cupboard for moths to feed on, our dress could honour the lives of a few little ones that were taken far too soon.’
‘It’s your dress,’ Paige said, struggling to speak past the tears that had come at Josie’s words. ‘But I think that’s a wonderful idea.’
When the coffee cups were drained, Paige glanced at the time on her phone. ‘I suppose I better get Sol home to bed, but is there anything I can do to help for tomorrow? Do you need me to bake something for the wake?’
‘Thanks, but I think we’re covered. Clara’s sisters have taken it upon themselves to do the catering and I reckon there’ll be more food than people.’
At this sad admission, Paige took her sister’s hand and gave it a little squeeze.
‘Thanks,’ Josie whispered with a soulful smile. ‘How’s your mum doing?’
Paige was about to say ‘our mother’ but she knew Josie didn’t yet see her that way and she didn’t want to upset her or push the friendship.
‘I’m going to see her now,’ she said instead.
Josie nodded and then she scooped up both their empty cups and took them to the sink. They found Sol asleep on the sofa in the lounge room.
Nik looked up when they entered and chuckled. ‘You must have really worn him out on that honeymoon.’
Paige poked out her tongue at him. She realised as Josie was her sister that made Nik her brother-in-law and she loved the idea that one day her kids would have him as a fun uncle. He’d probably give them bowling balls for their first birthdays.
‘Do you mind if I leave him here for a couple of hours while I go visit my folks?’
‘Of course not,’ Josie said.
‘I’d suggest moving him to the spare room, but even if I could carry him, Jose’s dad is arriving in a few hours, so he’ll need it.’
For a second Paige was confused and then realised Nik was referring to Josie’s adoptive father. He must have decided to come all this way for the funeral. ‘Thanks.’ She hitched her bag to her shoulder. ‘I’ll just call an Uber.’
‘Don’t be silly, take my car,’ Josie said. ‘I’ll grab my keys.’
‘You okay to drive?’ Nik asked when she returned. ‘I could drive you if not?’
‘Nah, I’m fine. But thanks.’ She took the keys and smiled at the two of them. ‘I’ll try not to be long and I can’t wait to meet your dad.’
Sol didn’t even stir as the three of them spoke beside him and as Paige drove to her parents’ place, she started to feel weary as well. But this conversation was too important to put off. Also, it needed to be had before the funeral—she didn’t want the first time she saw her parents after her wedding to be the day they were burying Robbie.
She parked her car outside and for the first time in her life felt jittery as she approached the front door. Should she just go in? Or should she knock? Although she’d spoken to her dad on the phone, their brief conversations had been about Josie and Robbie and about whether she should come home; apart from a quick congratulations, he’d barely acknowledged the wedding. And this was about more than her eloping.
With a deep breath, she visualised putting on her big girl undies, dug her key out of her bag and then let herself into the house.
‘Mum? Dad?’ Her voice echoed in the almost eerie silence. Had her parents gone out for dinner? She hadn’t told them she and Sol would be coming back for the funeral—as far as her dad knew they were still in America.
Within seconds, Molly’s head—followed rapidly by her body—appeared from the lounge room and Paige was accosted by excited paws. ‘Geez, Mol,’ she said, as she gave her cuddles and tried to avoid a slobbery kiss, ‘you need a new brand of toothpaste.’
Of course the dog didn’t reply, but Paige looked up as a shadow fell over her to see her mother coming the same way Molly had.
‘Sweetheart!’
‘Hi, Mum.’ Paige tried to hide her shock at how harrowed her mother looked. Not just tired but seriously ill—her eyes were so bloodshot it looked like she was wearing fancy dress Halloween contact lenses and she was thinner than she had been in a long while. The knowledge she was responsible for at least some of her mother’s anguish made her want to burst into tears. ‘Where’s Dad?’
‘He’s gone to get takeaway for dinner. Neither of us were in the mood for cooking. Congratulations to you and Sol,’ her mum said, nodding towards Paige’s left hand. ‘Can I see your ring?’
The question was asked tentatively as if she fully expected Paige to refuse, which wasn’t surprising considering the childish and slightly crazed way she’d reacted over this whole adoption surprise. Shame and self-loathing washed over her.
‘Yes. Of course.’ Paige straightened and, ignoring Molly’s whiny protests that she’d stopped stroking her, held out her hand to her mother.
‘It’s beautiful.’ She sounded all choked up. ‘And you made such a lovely bride.’
‘I’m so sorry, Mum.’ Suddenly Paige couldn’t believe she’d gone through the most important day of her life without the most important woman in her life beside her. ‘I just …’
But, she shook her head as tears threatened.
There was no acceptable explanation. She’d let her raging fury guide her, she’d let her anger take precedence over everything else that mattered. One thing like this—even though it was a big one—should not wipe out all the years and wonderful ways her mother had supported her. When many parents would have been telling her she was insane for wanting to pursue a career as an artist and steering her towards a degree in law or medicine or something, her mum was buying her paints and easels and taking her to art galleries. She’d always been there for Paige—at one stage she’d even coached Paige’s netball team and everyone knew she hated any form of team sport. She’d been a crap coach, but in lieu of anyone else, she’d tried.
Only months ago, Paige had been devastated by her mum’s kidney failure diagnosis. The thought of losing her had been both terrifying and impossible to comprehend, yet she’d let something cause a rift between them by choice. Sol had been right—she’d made it all about her.
How could she have been so stupid? And how could she ever make it up?
As tears flowed down her cheeks, her mother closed the gap between them and drew Paige into her arms. ‘It’s alright, sweetheart. I understand. The important thing is that you and Solomon are together.’
Her gentle reassurance only made Paige wail harder.
Rebecca held her, making soothing noises and stroking her hair as she’d done when she was little, until her sobs finally subsided. Then, ‘Let’s go have a cup of tea,’ she suggested. ‘Dad will be home soon and I’m sure he’ll have brought enough for an army. Would you like to stay for dinner? Where’s Sol?’
Rebecca was acting like everything was normal but Paige couldn’t let her go on without addressing their fallout. ‘Will you ever forgive me for getting married without you?’
Her mum cocked her head to one side and hit her with a question of her own. ‘Will you ever forgive me for keeping Josie a secret all these years?’
‘I already have,’ she said, and realised it was true. ‘I overreacted and I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t think you overreacted at all. You were hurt, shocked, I get that. I would have been fuming if your father had kept such a secret from me and I wish more than anything now that I’d played my cards differently. I’m glad you and Josie are getting to know each other and, I hope in time, maybe I will too.’
Paige gave her mum another hug. She’d love the three of them to be able to hang out, go to the movies, shop or chat over coffee like normal mothers and daughters do, but she had a feeling it might be a long while—if ever—before that happened. ‘I hope so too,’ she said and then changed the subject. ‘How are you and Dad, now?’
The thought of them splitting up was unbearable, but she was a realist. Her father probably had much more right to be angry and feel betrayed than she did.
‘We’re good.’ Rebecca smiled. ‘If anything I think this will make us stronger. Once I’m well again, we’re going to use the money we would have spent on your wedding for a big overseas holiday. We might even go to Vegas and renew our vows.’
Paige laughed as relief and happiness filled her heart. ‘I think that’s a wonderful idea. There’s only a few months now until you’ll be able to have the transplant. I’m so sorry about saying Sol wouldn’t do it—I didn’t mean it, of course he will. He’d do it even if we broke up and even if I didn’t want him to.’
A serious look crossed Rebecca’s face. ‘That’s sweet of you both, but I’ve decided I’m going to wait it out on the list for a deceased donor.’
‘What? No! Why would you do that?’
‘I just don’t feel right about doing it any other way,’ she said and then held up her hand. ‘And you can forget about trying to convince me otherwise, so don’t waste your breath. Dialysis isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It gives me a few hours a few times a week to sit back and read or do whatever I feel like doing completely guilt-free. And, I’ve made some good friends there.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’
Paige couldn’t help raising her eyebrows as her mother told her about some of her unlikely comrades. ‘A priest?’
‘He’s the least priest-like priest you’ll ever meet. You’d love him.’
Before Paige could respond to that, the door opened behind them and her dad came in to find them still standing in the hallway.
‘Paige!’ He almost dropped the bag of takeaway food in his hand, but despite her mother’s less-than-fabulous health, she reached out and rescued it.
‘Daddy.’ Paige threw herself into her father’s arms. ‘I missed you.’
‘I missed you too, sweetheart.’ He pulled back a little and looked to her mum. ‘We both did.’
‘I know,’ she said, taking his hand. ‘And Mum and I have just had a good chat. I’m sorry I didn’t let you be there for my big day, but with everything else going on, it just seemed right for it just to be the two of us. In hindsight, I’m a bit sad. It was a beautiful day, but it would have been even more meaningful if the two of you were there.’
‘Aw, darling. We’d have loved that too, but plenty of people have an intimate wedding overseas and then follow it back home with a celebration. Why don’t we do that?’ He chuckled. ‘It would give Lisette the chance to show off her backyard makeover after all.’
She’d never known her father knew so much about weddings, but it was a fabulous suggestion. Her wedding to Sol had been the best day of her life and this would give her the chance to relive it all over again. Not to mention use some of Josie’s fabulous ideas for a reception. ‘Dad, you are a genius.’
‘Ah, I don’t know about that,’ he said, but his smile gave away his pride.
Paige smiled back, but her excitement by the prospect of all that laid ahead dimmed a little when she remembered the reason she’d returned home today specifically. It felt wrong to be feeling so happy and relieved when her sister was about to face one of the saddest days of her life.