Mina Murray’s Journal
I can’t believe we finished a whole season of Shadowcast. Lucy and I have sure come pretty far from lurking in the occult book store on Magazine and trawling LiveJournal looking for everything on true crime we could find. Ha, take that, everyone who thought I was a total morbid creep! Well, okay, I am morbid but not a creep. Besides, what does it mean to be morbid except to be fascinated by the things that are kept hidden and are excised from “polite” conversation. The guarantee of death is the singular thing every human shares—how odd that it should be the thing we’re glared at for mentioning.
Things with Luce have been great lately. I think in some ways the podcast has given her a thing to focus all her excess energy on, and that focus has brought us closer together. There are still moments when I see my life as it would have been if I’d never confessed my feelings for her. It horrifies me to imagine that life. I’ll never let myself forget that I was scared and shaking with the threat of losing my best friend, but that if I hadn’t taken a risk, I would still be trapped in that purgatory of longing that made every moment I spent with Lucy a bittersweet agony.
I’ve been thinking of asking L if she’s ready to move in together yet. I’ve been wary of being the one to broach all new levels of our relationship, but knowing Lucy if I wait for her to do it then one day she’ll rush up and grab me and say we should move to a castle in the south of France or the mountains of Romania. Which…wouldn’t be the worst thing…
Note: google if Romania is called that bc the territory was invaded by Rome or if unrelated???
I just…Lucy feels like home. Her and the cats. I imagine this kind of intimacy where we never again have to decide to spend time together. Never again have to text to say “Come over!” or have the conversation at the end of the night, “Are you coming home with me?” We’d never have to do it again, because deciding to live together means making that decision once and for all. I’m going to do it. I’m going to ask her. Well…maybe I’ll just peek at a few houses first? I was walking in the Marigny the other day and saw an absolutely gorgeous white-on-white gingerbread cottage with an orange tree…
Note: talk with Zoe about buying houses in diff neighborhoods wrt gentrification and see if there’s anywhere that I won’t completely fuck up just by moving there.
[Twitter Search: “shadowcast”]
Results: All
ElishaWhite @ewhitewrites
Yaaay omg new Shadowcast is coming soon! Love that podcast so much
[hearteyes gif]
C. P. Killa @captchakilla
Never heard of “shadowcast” but i saw an article saying the two hosts are hot girls so heyyyyy guess i have a new fave podcast lol
Alex Alexa @aalexa
If you have a powerful broadcast platform like a PODCAST and all you do is use it to talk about the terrible things that happen to women i judge you so hard. (LOOKING AT YOU, SHADOWCAST) If you listen and support this podcast you should unfollow me because you’re trash
Dare You @dareyadontya
Reply to: @aalexa
Have you *listened* to Shadowcast, though? They’re super respectful about WHY they talk about this stuff, and how they’re giving voice to victims in a meaningful and impactful way so i’m not sure why you think it’s trash??
Alex Alexa @aalexa
Uh-huh “hi we’re shadowcast and we make money off victims but we’re doing it for THE RIGHT REASONS” sure thing sweetie keep telling yourself that it’s for *victim voices* when it’s basically just lurid exploitation for $$$
[Quote Retweet: Have you *listened* to Shadowcast, though? They’re super respectful about WHY they talk about this stuff, and how they’re giving voice to victims in a meaningful and impactful way so i’m not sure why you think it’s trash??]
Dare You @dareyadontya
Reply to: @aalexa
Umm ok so i was just asking because i know a LOT of people esp women who find Shadowcast and other podcasts like it empowering b/c it addresses things that actually happen to women would you rather no one talk about it or???
Alex Alexa @aalexa
Reply to: @dareyadontya
I would rather it be addressed and FIXED, or treated seriously, not gabbed about like two sorority girls over margs which is EXACTLY what Shadowcast sounds like. It’s so gross and demeaning and I don’t want to hear why you like it. Goodbye.
Dare You @dareyadontya
Reply to: @aalexa
*epic eye roll* Unpack some of that misogyny while you’re storming off in a huff, sweetie [door slamming gif] #shadowcaster4life
Nicky Nicknack @Notabot2stop
Them shadowcast girls are hot af daaaaaaaayum
STL True Crime @stltruecrime
Sure wish we could get a write-up in Revolver! Probably doesn’t help that our hosts aren’t two cute, young girls who are dating each other like those gals at shadowcast—but Pete and Jim promise to buy some new ties!
Ms. Mystery @msmysteryreviews
Hey @stltruecrime that tweet is super gross. I live in North County but listen to Shadowcast b/c they’re engaging storytellers and that’s why a lot of ppl like them. Your tweet made me (also a listener to YOUR podcast and a woman) really uncomfortable :( #dobetter
STL True Crime @stltruecrime
Reply to: @msmysteryreviews
Awww we’re sorry! We were just joking around abt shadowcast/their hosts, sorry your feelings were hurt :( please keep listening every tues on LoudNetwork Pods at noon!
Ian Leigh @ileighu
Reply to: @msmysteryreviews @stltruecrime
…wow talk about missing the point :/ #shadowcast #getacluestltruecrime
Minn E Mouse @disneyfreak01
Listened to every single Shadowcast episode TWICE am so excited for the new season I love Lucy and Mina!!!!! I AM TOTALLY A LUCY btw
Look Link @looklinktoday
Women Podcasting About True Crime: Fad, Or Warning Sign? The Answer Might Surprise You!
[Link Preview: “Take the popularity of female-hosted shows like New Orleans’ Shadowcast,” says PhD and media expert Michael Dunn. “Now, think about what it means that women, traditionally the caretakers and nurturers in society, are finding themselves drawn toward the darker aspects of human nature…”]
Blissfully Aware @wakeandrage
I don’t even live in NOLA but I’m subscribing to Shadowcast rn on my app. Because I had no idea women giving voice to the terrible things that are often done to us was a “fad” or, even better, a sign that we are out to eat men’s hearts or w/e Dr. Dunn here thinks *laughing crying emoji*
[Quote Retweet: Look Link @looklinktoday
Women Podcasting About True Crime: Fad, Or Warning Sign? The Answer Might Surprise You!]
Google Hangouts
9:49 AM
Lucy Westenra
UGHHH Mina why do I ever read our twitter account?
Mina Murray
I don’t know, especially since we pay Arthur to do it
;)
Do I want to know?
Lucy Westenra
Well
To be fair
This wasn’t really *our* twitter account
Mina Murray
So you were…reading someone else’s Twitter account?
Lucy Westenra
No :P
I did a Twitter search for “Shadowcast” and I should not do that
Mina Murray
Oh god what does that mean?
And am I going to regret asking
There’s a reason we have Arthur do all the social media stuff!
Lucy Westenra
Not as much as I regret looking. But okay basically you can search Twitter for a word or phrase, so it might just be people talking *about* Shadowcast without using the @ symbol. Because when people use that, it means they at least theoretically want us to see or don’t care if we do.
Mina Murray
Right
Oooh you’re like a Twitter voyeur!
Since you didn’t laugh, I’m guessing it was bad?
Lucy Westenra
Well, there’s the usual stuff like “oh those girls are so hot and they’re together”
Which, these things are true, but ugh.
Not that I care that people know, or even talk about it.
But I hate how it’s so…ugh.
Mina Murray
Performative?
Exploitive?
Gross and creepy?
Lucy Westenra
Yeah, all those things.
Also like. Okay, this one girl said something about how we’re awful because we’re talking about these terrible things happening to women and making money off it. Which, on the one hand LOL because how much does she think an amateur podcaster makes??
But like. We don’t do that, do we?
Someone replied in our defense (other people might have, I didn’t click the thread because I am not THAT much of a glutton for punishment) and said that we are giving voice to victims. Which I mean. We’re doing that, right?
Mina Murray
Well, yeah, I think so. In the sense that we’re not allowing these stories to just fade away. But also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being real about our interest in the shit that doesn’t get talked about in “polite” society. Since “polite” society is usually code for straight white people with money who have the privilege of pretending that this stuff can’t ever happen to them.
Lucy Westenra
Yeah there was this other article written by this white dude who was like “women podcasting about true crime means their interest has turned to unsavory pursuits”
I sent it to Arthur LOL
Mina Murray
Psh, yes, our dainty white gloves are stained with the blood of our unsavory interests and we must loosen our corsets whenever we podcast so we don’t faint.
Men interested in true crime never *means* anything because men assume they can be interested in anything they want, and that they’re naturally detached from their emotions, but it’s against the natural fucking order of things if women are interested in grisly things, because these misogynists think women are inherently different slash weaker slash more emotional than them. *Slaps all of them*
Lucy Westenra
Girl, you know it gets me six kinds of hot when you’re smart
So
I’m always burning up ;)
Mina Murray
:) <3
Seriously though, I don’t think we’re being disrespectful and I know we always remember that these were people first and foremost before they were victims or stories.
Lucy Westenra
I wish you could go tweet at that mean person
I’d just end up in some kind of argument haha
Mina Murray
Well, obviously I don’t think that person is right, but they are allowed to have that idea about our podcast. I can see why it’s upsetting to read (which is why I don’t search for our podcast on twitter :P) but also that’s just what some people might think, you know?
And I’m sure that a gentle reminder to be respectful is always something we can use.
Lucy Westenra
But the way she said it was just so—
Here let me just c/p it for you
Mina Murray
LUCY NO
Lucy, I do not want to read it. And more importantly, *you* don’t want to read it. It’s just going to upset you. You already know I agree with you and not this random tweet, okay? But I am putting up that boundary that I don’t want to engage and I think if it upsets you so much, you should consider doing that, too.
Lucy Westenra
Honestly you had me at “Lucy no.”
Mina Murray
Of course I did ;)
Lucy Westenra
Okay. *deep breath*
Remind me that reading these things just makes me mad and makes me wander around composing imaginary tweets in my head in reply and gets me all *hands*
Mina Murray
Lucy, darling, beloved.
Remember that reading these things just makes you unhappy and causes you to rant to yourself at work.
When you want to do it, take a few deep breaths and watch a cat video.
Lucy Westenra
You are so smart
I’m so glad I have you <3
Mina Murray
You are pretty lucky ;)
Lucy Westenra
K, better get back to work.
BUT
it’s also true that we have…almost 10K Twitter followers!
Mina Murray
Lucy!
Lucy Westenra
Okaaaaaaaaaaay I can try
Love you, babe!
Mina Murray
<3
See you for dinner, yeah?
Lucy Westenra
I’ll even be on time!
Mina Murray
I’ll believe it when I see it. <3