Lucy’s Diary
So, this whole murder thing really being some kind of ARG game?!?!?! Honestly, it kinda freaks me out. Because like…putting a murder game into a dating app???
And more importantly…why did my brother start playing it?
Everyone is acting like, oh, this explains everything! Hark is just off solving a puzzle and having a grand old time (which, again, I have to point out that my brother does not do stuff like this), and okay, no, maybe they’re not acting like that but I sort of feel like they expect me to?
Maybe it’s me that expects me to, I don’t know. All I do know is that there should have been some kind of relief in finding out this was all a game, but…I don’t feel relieved. I feel mad because I was tricked into playing some pretend murder game that I didn’t even know existed (and oh, how much fun are the Twitter haters having about this? I know I shouldn’t read it but it’s like…I can’t help myself. I feel so drawn in that I find myself going to Twitter and Reddit even though I should really know better :/ ), embarrassed that maybe somehow I look like an idiot in front of everyone and made Arthur and Mina look like idiots, and it’s hard not to think someone out there is having a laugh at me over this?
And then there’s Harker. Who is still missing, and why does it somehow feel even worse than thinking my brother was maybe a SERIAL KILLER??
Probably because I don’t like thinking about my brother not caring about me and running off and playing some dumb ARG. But I don’t want him to be in trouble, either. It’s confusing, and for some reason I’m not saying anything to anyone, even Mina. I’m just sort of keeping all my anxieties hidden.
I had this dream last night where I was in Destin again, with Harker. He kept wading out into the water, only it was night and the sky and the sea were so dark I couldn’t keep sight of him. I ran but the sand turned to mud and my feet wouldn’t move, and by the time I got to the edge of the shore, the current had swept him under and carried him away, and he was gone.
Text Message
Lucy Westenra to Harker Westenra
11:33 PM
Lucy: A game, Harker?? A GAME?
Good thing you did all that research about hiding bodies because I’M GOING TO KILL YOU >:(
12:46 AM
Lucy: WHY won’t you write me back? If you’re just playing a game why have you dropped off the face of the planet? Are you messing with me?
12:58 AM
Lucy: Hark? Seriously, though, you’re scaring me.
Did something happen? Are you okay?
1:10 AM
Lucy: Well I have the game now so I guess I’m coming after you?
1:21 AM
Lucy: I hate this.
Google Hangouts
10:40 AM
Lucy Westenra
Hey, you there?
Mina Murray
Yeah, what’s up?
Lucy Westenra
Last night I kept having those false awakening dreams after Arthur left :/
Harker was in every one of them, like
I’d wake up and walk out of my room and he’d be in my living room, you know? Just sitting there. But every time I tried to talk to him, he wouldn’t answer me.
Mina Murray
I know how much those dreams freak you out, I’m sorry
Lucy Westenra
I wonder if I should call the police. Like maybe it’s time?
I don’t know, Min. At first last night I was like “good, just a game!” But now I don’t get it. Why didn’t Hark get in touch when we aired the episode of SC that had the names from Allium in it? He should have told us what was going on.
If not to let me know he was alive, then at least to stop us from looking stupid by talking about fiction on our TRUE crime podcast!
Mina Murray
Hmm…when he heard it…on Shadowcast? You think Harker listens to our podcast?
Lucy Westenra
Wait you think he doesn’t?
Mina Murray
Er, no. I don’t think he’s into true crime, and he’s never mentioned it to us, so I just assumed he didn’t listen.
Lucy Westenra
You really don’t think he listens to our podcast?? I mean, I’m his sister.
Mina Murray
Luce, if Harker had a podcast about cultural anthropology, would you listen to it?
Lucy Westenra
I would!
Mina Murray
Okay, let me rephrase: would you listen to all of every episode, or just ten minutes of the first episode because you wouldn’t believe Harker was doing a podcast in the first place, hmm?
Lucy Westenra
Well, I…
Ugh, Min, I would listen to it if he asked me to.
Mina Murray
Baby, he invites you to go to stuff at Tulane all the time—lectures and stuff? And you don’t go, cuz you’re not interested. Which is completely fine! It’s just not your thing. Same as true crime isn’t Hark’s.
Lucy Westenra
Okay, fine, I’d listen to the first ten minutes just because I wouldn’t believe Harker was doing a podcast in the first place, and you’re right, he asked me to go to some boring lectures and I blew him off—are you happy now?
Mina Murray
Luce, I’m not criticizing you, I promise. I’m just trying to explain why I don’t think Harker listens to our podcast. Which is also fine, because it’s not his thing.
Lucy Westenra
Apparently neither is letting me know he’s not DEAD
Mina Murray
Lucy…
Lucy Westenra
Uh-oh
I know what it means when you use ellipses
What?
Mina Murray
You seem really worried about Harker
Lucy Westenra
Shouldn’t I be??
He’s my brother, he’s playing some weird serial killer game and he vanished!
Mina Murray
Okay. First, I’m concerned about him, too. It’s definitely not like him to up and disappear like this. But…real talk: did something happen with you two? Like, did you argue? Because you go *months* without talking to Hark sometimes. Hell, I talk to him more often than you do.
It just…seems like maybe something happened that you haven’t told me? That’s eating away at you.
Lucy Westenra
[goes idle]
Lucy Westenra
I’m a terrible sister.
Mina Murray
Maybe we should talk about this in person.
Lucy Westenra
No, I mean…I am.
Harker sends me text messages and I forget to reply. I went back and looked at my text history and my emails from him, and like…half the time my replies are one-word answers if I reply at all :/
I love Hark, obvs, but we don’t have anything in common.
I missed his birthday. Totally missed it. Pretended that I had some dumb excuse and tried to get him to go out to dinner and then never followed up about a date.
So like, if something happened, this is it. That’s how it’s going to end. I ignored him and he died thinking I’m a flake who didn’t love him.
Mina Murray
I’m sure Harker knows you love him. He also knows how you are.
Lucy Westenra
How I am? You mean a flake.
You can say it, we both know it’s true.
Mina Murray
Nope, no way, that’s not what I said.
Listen, Luce. You know I love you and think you’re delightful. Harker loves you and I’m sure he’s used to the parts of you that aren’t neat and orderly.
But whatever is going on, it’s about Harker, not you. Maybe he needed a break. Maybe school and research was too much, so he started messing with the game and thought he’d take a vacay.
Like…a murder game vacay.
Lucy Westenra
Harker doesn’t take vacations from studying, it’s his favorite thing
Mina Murray
Just because he likes what he does doesn’t mean it’s not stressful, Luce.
Lucy Westenra
I just feel like he’s doing this to get back at me or something
For ignoring him
Mina Murray
Ok, you have every right to feel how you feel. Of course you’re concerned about Hark. But, look at what you just said there. See how you’re framing the situation?
Lucy Westenra
Ugh
Yeah
I guess I’m like
Making it all about me :|
Mina Murray
You are. Probably because you feel guilty, babe. It makes total sense. But whatever’s going on with Harker…it’s going on with Harker. And what’s going on with YOU is going on with you. If you feel guilty for how things have been with him in the past, then you can try and make them be different in the future, right?
Lucy Westenra
[goes idle]
Lucy Westenra
I feel stupid
Mina Murray
Luce, no, it’s okay.
Lucy Westenra
Like, I see what you’re saying. I mean. It’s right. You’re always right. I just.
Feel like I can’t do anything right.
Mina Murray
Lucy.
Lucy Westenra
I know. I’m not really stupid, I’m gorgeous and brilliant, but Mina?
I am a shitty sister.
I haven’t tried with Harker. I should do better.
But what if I don’t have the chance?
…I’m doing it again, huh.
Mina Murray
I have total faith you and Harker can have a better relationship :)
And if whatever is going on helps you guys with that, then you will have gotten something positive out of something negative.
But until then, let’s keep the focus on finding him, okay?
Lucy Westenra
You are so smart
Seriously, like…whenever the world swirls all around me like this, and I feel so lost
I just have to tell you and you have this way of making it all…calm down
I love you <3
Mina Murray
I love you too, baby. <3
Lucy Westenra
And also you’re basically saying
“Lucy, stop making this all about you and get back to solving clues” yy?
Mina Murray
Yes.
Lucy Westenra
Can you say it in the bossy voice tho
You know what that does to me
Mina Murray
Lucy, stop making this all about you and get back to solving clues.
…right after you tell me what that does to you.
Lucy Westenra
Come over to the hotel for lunch?
We can go find a room that’s not in use and I’ll show you
*sexy eyebrows*
Mina Murray
Sexy eyebrows?
Wow
I wish :( I have to go to a meeting before work today. But come over tonight? You can show me then, eyebrows and all ;)
Lucy Westenra
It’s a deal <3
I might just go find that guest room tho
Pre-game ;)
Mina Murray
Nope.
No gaming until you get here, Miss Westenra.
Understand?
Lucy Westenra
:D :D :D
I understand
Have a good meeting, babe. Love you!
Mina Murray
<3