Late the next evening, Ridge was sitting at the kitchen table, helping Corey with algebra homework, when the sound of a car engine and Enoch’s barking interrupted their work.
“That’s probably Nicci. I’ll go see.” As Ridge rose from his seat at the table, he pointed to the paper lying in front of the teenager. “You finish the equation.”
By the time he stepped onto the verandah, Nicolette had parked her car by the yard fence and was passing through the gate. With a wide smile on his face, he trotted out to meet her.
“You’re here. Finally,” he said as he swooped her up in a tight hug that lifted her completely off her feet.
By the time he’d set her back down she was laughing. “I think I’m all here,” she told him as she smoothed down the skirt of her pale-pink sheathe.
Grabbing both of her hands, he walked backward while leading her toward the house. “I tried to call you this evening to make sure you were still coming. Your receptionist said you’d already gone for the day.”
“I had several chores to do away from the clinic,” she explained.
By now they’d reached the steps to the verandah, and he paused before leading her the rest of the way. “I was afraid that maybe you wouldn’t show up,” he confessed.
Surprised by the serious look on his face, she asked, “Why? I told you I would.”
He shrugged. “Yes. But after I had to cancel because of work, I figured you might be…well, peeved with me.”
She squeezed his hands. “Ridge, how could I be peeved with you for doing your job? You’re a doctor. You’re supposed to be committed to saving lives.”
“Yes, but I don’t want to disappoint you.”
A sense of déjà vu suddenly crept over her. Many times she’d said those very words to Bill. She’d felt guilty about being away from him while she cared for the sick. As a result she’d bent over backward in other ways to make up for their lost time together. But in the end she’d been wasting her effort and her love. He’d used her busy work schedule as a reason to have affairs.
Turning her mind away from that dark memory, she quickly assured him, “You didn’t disappointment me. But I did miss you.”
With a little groan he tugged her forward and placed a quick but hungry kiss on her lips. “Corey is inside finishing up his homework,” he said. “Let’s go in.”
Moments later, as the two adults entered the kitchen, Corey looked up from his Algebra book. The moment he spotted Nicolette he politely rose to his feet.
“Evening, Miss Nicci,” he greeted.
“Good evening to you, Corey,” she replied. “How is the homework coming?”
With a lopsided grin, he scratched the top of his head in contemplation. “Mr. Ridge says I’m getting better. But I’m not so sure about that. Guess I’ll find out when the teacher gives us another test.”
Nicolette smiled with encouragement. “Bet you ace it.”
Blushing furiously, Corey glanced over to Ridge. “You’re sure lucky, Mr. Ridge, to have such a pretty girlfriend who’s also nice. Most of the pretty ones have their noses up in the air.”
Laughing, Ridge touched a forefinger to Nicolette’s nose. “You think so?” he asked Corey. “Well, apparently you haven’t found the right kind of pretty one yet. But you will.”
Embarrassed now, Corey started to jam the homework paper into his book. “Better be going,” he mumbled in a rush.
“Not just yet,” Ridge ordered. “I need to look over that last problem to make sure you’ve done it right.”
Walking over to the table, Ridge picked up the teenager’s homework and began to scan the last equation on the page.
Nicolette said in a teasing voice, “Looks like Ridge is a real taskmaster.”
Corey’s shrug belied the great fondness she saw in his eyes. “Mr. Ridge is taking care of me,” he said.
Yes, Nicolette could see that. The man was a giver. He’d already given to her in ways she could never express to him.
“Mr. Ridge takes care of a lot of people,” she said softly, then quietly stepped away from the two of them as her throat tightened with emotion.
A few moments later Ridge assured Corey that the homework was correct, and the teenager gave them a quick goodbye and headed out the door.
Once the two of them were alone, Ridge gathered her into his arms. “I thought this moment would never get here,” he whispered against her lips. “Do you know how good it feels to have you next to me again?”
She curled her arms around his waist and held him tightly. “I have a faint clue,” she whispered back.
He rubbed his lips back and forth across hers in a teasing way. “Have you eaten?” he asked.
The warmth of his body was already making hers hum with anticipation. “No. Have you?”
“No. Should we have supper?”
Her lips tilted into a sensuous smile. “Actually, I think we should have each other.”
“My, my, woman, how you read my mind,” he said and then with a needy groan he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.
Once he set her down next to the bed, there was nothing slow or hesitant about their movements. Clothes and shoes were quickly shed and tossed out of the way before they lay together in the darkness.
His mouth ravaged the tender skin of her throat, making her voice raw with desire. “I missed you. I missed this.” Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes as sweet pleasure rushed through her. “You’re turning me into a wanton hussy.”
His hands worshipped her body as they skimmed over the pert mounds of her breasts, the valley of her belly and down her long, lean thighs. “As long as you only have eyes for me,” he said with a soft chuckle.
If she lived to be ninety she would never meet another man who could touch her this way or lift her senses to the sky, she thought with certainty. Just being in his arms and having her cheek next to the beat of his heart was enough to fill her with emotions so full, so deep that she thought she would surely burst from them.
In response to his reply, she hummed a bar of the tune that matched his words, and her strained attempt had them both laughing. Until he fastened his lips over hers in a kiss that spoke of the need surging through both of them.
Once he finally raised his head, she urged, “Love me, Ridge.”
“Always, sweetheart. Always.”
Much, much later, after their passion had been momentarily quenched, Nicolette lay with her back and hips spooned against the curve of Ridge’s warm body. His fingers slid lazily up and down her thigh and the hypnotic movement added to the pleasant drowsiness settling over her.
“My mother called again this evening,” he said.
“Mmm. How did that go?”
“I told her that I had found the woman I was going to marry.”
It took a moment for his reply to actually sink in. She searched for his face in the darkness. “You told her—that?”
His hand closed around her upper arm as though he expected her to bolt from the bed. “My mother and I might not see things in the same way, but I’ve always been honest with her. When she asked me if I’d been dating, I told her about you.”
Nicolette’s head was spinning. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, or simply run out of the room and never stop running. “Dating is one thing,” she exclaimed. “You said something—about marriage!”
His hand soothed the hair away from her forehead. “That’s right. Surely you’re not surprised to hear me say the word. Do you think I’d be here with you like this if I wasn’t thinking about a future with you?”
Her heart was suddenly jumping for joy while the rest of her was frozen with fear. “I don’t know. I’ve been—trying not to think about any of that,” she admitted in a strained voice.
“Oh, Nicci,” he said with a groan of frustration. “Don’t try to fool me or yourself. You’re not the type of woman who goes to bed with a man just for the sake of sex. Are you?”
Ever since they’d made love for the first time, Nicolette had been asking herself that very question. She’d tried to tell herself there was nothing wrong with having a purely sexual relationship with a man. After all, they were both grown-up, unattached adults. What could be the harm? Yet deep down she’d known it was her heart that had been leading her to Ridge, not her body.
“No,” she whispered.
His fingers tangled themselves in the damp strands of her long hair. “Then you do care for me.”
He’d said it as a statement rather than a question. As though he wasn’t going to give her the chance to deny his words. The fact left her feeling cornered, and her heart began to beat at a terrifying pace.
“Yes, I suppose I do,” she admitted.
A long sigh of relief pushed past his lips. He drew her to his chest and clutched her tightly. “Oh, Nicci, I know you’re afraid of this connection between us. But I love you. I want you to be my wife.”
Nicolette squeezed her eyes shut as tears brimmed over the lids and rolled onto her cheeks. Why hadn’t she met this man years ago when her heart was still pure and eager and she’d looked to the future with hope?
Her voice small and raspy, she said, “You can’t love me, Ridge—not like that. You don’t know me. Not really. We’ve only been together a short time.”
“How long does it take a person to fall in love, Nicci? Days? Weeks? Months? From what I’ve seen, some people go for years—their whole lives—and never fall in love. Do you have the actual timetable requirements for this?”
Annoyed by his response, she rolled from his embrace and sat up on the side of the bed. Across from her, Ridge did the same and switched on the bedside lamp.
“You’re not making this easy, are you?” she finally asked.
Walking around to her side of the bed, he eased down next to her and reached for her hand. She had to fight the urge to cry as his fingers threaded themselves between hers.
“No,” he answered. “And don’t expect me to let up on you. We—the two of us—are going to be married. We’re going to live here as man and wife and fill this house with children. That’s the way I see the future.”
How many times had she imagined that very thing, Nicolette asked herself. The whole idea would be an answer to all the dreams and prayers she’d ever had. But to even allow herself to hope for such a life and then have it all crumble before her eyes would be more than her tattered heart could stand.
Numb with pain, she laid her hand against the side of his cheek. “My dear Ridge, you’re not thinking clearly. You’re a doctor. I’m a doctor. Our schedules are consumed with work. Last night was a good example. Trying to make a marriage succeed around our hours would be insane. Besides, I’m thirty-eight years old. You’re only twenty-nine.”
A scowl drew his brows into a perplexed line. “What does that have to do with anything?”
She sighed. “I only have a few child-bearing years left, Ridge. You have many. And I’m going to be way ahead of you in the aging department. After a few years I would seem like…an old woman to you. I couldn’t bear that. I couldn’t bear for you to turn your sights to someone younger.”
“Hell and damnation! I’m not your ex-husband!”
He reached to the floor for his shorts and jerked them on. Watching him, Nicolette realized she couldn’t very well argue her case in a state of nudity, especially if he was clothed.
Snatching up her strewn garments, she began to yank them on. “I didn’t say you were like him,” she pointed out as she tugged bra straps onto her shoulders. “But you are a man.”
His arms folded across his chest as he studied her through narrowed eyes. “So that naturally makes me a bastard?”
After pulling a scanty pair of panties over her hips, she stepped into the pink sheath she’d worn to work. While she struggled with the zipper at the back, she looked at him through a tangle of dark hair. “No. It just means that…some of you become dissatisfied.”
Quickly he closed the small distance between them and looked down at her with a fierce expression. “I don’t know what sort of man your husband was, Nicolette. So far you haven’t wanted to share that part of your past with me. But if he hurt you as you’ve implied, then I have to believe he was worthless. If that’s what—”
“I’m not accusing—” She tried to interrupt only to stop when he turned his back to her and lifted his face toward the ceiling.
“You don’t understand the sort of man I really am, Nicci. If I vowed to God to love you until death parted us, that’s the way it would be. That’s the sort of fiber that knits me together. Of course you’re going to grow old and gravity is going to do its damage. Do you think I’m always going to look like I do now?” He turned back around and snared her gaze with his. “God willing we’ll both grow old together. And during that time there would be no turning or looking to other women. It would only be you. Always.”
There was such ardent conviction in his voice that tears glazed her eyes. More than anything she wanted to fall into his arms and tell him how much she loved him. For she did love him; to tell herself anything else would be futile.
“Ridge, I…I’m sorry if I insulted you. I didn’t mean to. I’m just—” She looked at him, her eyes imploring him to understand. “I only want to make you see that marrying me would be the wrong thing for both of us.”
His hands curved over the tops of her shoulders, and she felt herself wilting like a morning glory after the sun has risen.
“So you say, Nicci. I happen to think we were meant for each other.”
A keening, hopeless pain ripped through the center of her being. If only she could believe him. If only she had the courage to shed the dark hours of hell and self-doubt that she’d lived through during the past years. But there wasn’t a brave bone left in her body. Another man had already crushed them.
Her voice strained with misery, she said, “All right. Maybe our age difference wouldn’t be a problem. But there’s still the fact that we’re doctors. And if I was ever crazy enough to marry again, I’d be even crazier to marry a doctor. If we did have children, would you be around to help me raise them? I just can’t see it. Your job or your family would suffer.”
A stunned look came over his face, and then his jaws snapped together like an iron trap. Nicolette realized she’d let her tongue run away with her, but she was feeling desperate, and if making him angry made him see reality then she’d done her job.
“Well, well, isn’t that something,” he muttered with harsh sarcasm. “When I first met you, I distinctly remember you giving me the impression that a doctor must devote himself solely to his patient or he wasn’t worth a grain of salt. And you know something, I was so enamored with you I almost wanted to work night and day just to impress you.” He stepped into his jeans and jerked up the zipper. “But thank God I didn’t let you sway me to that point!”
Nicolette watched him gather up his shirt and yank it over his shoulders. She realized she’d woken a sleeping lion, and she was trembling at the thought of how deep his bite might sink into her. She wanted to say something in defense of her argument, anything to take away the pain and anger she saw on his face, but words wouldn’t come. Her throat was thick with tears and all she could think was that for the second time in her life she’d made a grave mistake and allowed herself to fall in love.
He walked over to her, and Nicolette cringed as his dark eyes bored into hers.
“I made a pact with myself a long time ago, Nicci, long before I ever knew you. I swore to myself that I would never be like my grandfather and my father, men who scarcely took the time for a second glance at their wives and sons. I vowed I would never let my job mean more to me than my family. And now, after all the years of schooling and the labor of getting my own practice started, I’m still not going to allow being a doctor to ruin my chances of having a loving wife and a houseful of children. If you don’t believe me about this, Nicolette, then maybe the two of us are wrong for each other.”
She swallowed the painful emotions that were lodged in her throat. “I don’t doubt that you mean to keep your career and your marriage balanced. I believe you’re speaking from your heart. But—” She paused as the sting of tears grew larger and larger until wet tracks finally rolled down her cheeks. “Things change, Ridge. Sometimes well-meaning intentions are shoved aside, along with people’s feelings. I don’t want us to do that to each other. Believe it or not, I want what’s best for you.”
Knowing she couldn’t push another word through her aching throat, she grabbed up her high heels and walked out of the bedroom on shaky legs.
Ridge followed her to the front door. “I guess this means you’re leaving,” he said flatly.
Her head twisted so that she was looking over her shoulder at him. “Yes,” she said hoarsely.
His nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath. “Why? And don’t give me all those reasons I just heard, Nicci. I’m not stupid. I can put two and two together, just like any other man when he’s been taken for a ride. Having a fling with me was okay, but living here on this small property, in this old house, day in, day out, is a bit too much for you to stomach. Especially someone like you, who’s used to opulent surroundings and maids to do your bidding.” A sneer twisted his lips. “Well, I could give you those things, Nicci. We Garroways have money, too. But that’s not the way I want to live. And I don’t want a woman I have to buy!”
His words struck her like stones being flung from a slingshot. She was so stunned by the sudden pain that for long moments all she could do was stare at him. Then finally her head swung slowly back and forth in disbelief.
“This has been a mistake,” she whispered in a crushed voice. “Everything between us has been a mistake.”
Not bothering to put on her heels, she scurried through the door, across the porch and out to her car. Along the way, she caught a glimpse of Enoch lifting his head from his bed of grass and watching her with faint curiosity. But the dog didn’t bother to follow her and neither did Ridge.
As she started the engine she could see his tall form silhouetted in the open door of the house. Her heart awash with tears, she pulled the gearshift into reverse. At the same time, she saw his hand lift from its place on the doorjamb, and for one split second, one hopeful moment, she thought he was going to gesture for her to come back, or at the very least, lift his hand in farewell to her.
But he did neither of those things. Instead he closed the door and shut her completely from his sight.