Gritting her teeth, Jacinda walked the short distance back to number ten, her emotions smoldering hotter than her sunburn. She’d gone to see him with the best intentions, and for a moment there, she’d been willing to lay it on the line, tell him her truth and listen to what he told her in return. But he soon cured her of that. What an ass. A self-righteous, shirtless, self-absorbed…
But her indignation couldn’t sustain itself. His words had hit home, and there was only one person she wanted to talk to now. Upstairs, she found her phone, and hit Hannah’s name.
“Hey, runaway.” Her friend’s voice was a ray of sunshine cutting into her overcast mood. “Tell me I guessed right.”
“Hey,” Jacinda said, remembering the New Zealand flag in Hannah’s last text. “Yeah, you were right.”
“I knew it. So, what’s happening in paradise?”
She flopped down on the bed, wincing as her sunburned skin hit the quilted bedcover. “It’s less, um…paradisiacal than I’d hoped.”
“Oh, no. What’s happened? Did someone track you down already? No one here has questioned it yet—I just keep saying you’re taking a short break.”
“Thanks. No, no one has tracked me down. It’s more that someone was here already.”
“Who?”
“Liam Ward.”
“Wait…Ethan’s brother?”
Hannah was the only person who knew the whole story. Not just the facts of what had happened, but how it had really been for Jacinda, here in Sweet Breeze Bay, and when she got home and had to face the music.
“Yeah. He’s staying at their house, next door.”
She didn’t mention anything about the perpetually shirtless state he seemed to be in, or the unexpectedly distracting effect that had on her. It was so many kinds of wrong to even notice his broad chest, sculpted shoulders, and well-formed biceps, one of which was inked with the sweeping curves of a Pacific-style tattoo. So, so wrong. Okay, little brothers grew up…but that didn’t mean this one was a suitable candidate for her attention. Not that he showed any sign of interest in her—only anger and resentment. “We kind of had a confrontation.”
“A confrontation? But wait, go back a step. I thought they were in Australia.”
“He was, but now he’s here. And I can’t spend the summer with him right next door glowering every time he sees me, making me feel guilty about everything.”
As she said it, she realized just how guilty she was really feeling. Admit it—what riled her more than anything was the fact that Liam was right. She’d expected Ethan to rise to the occasion, tell her everything would be fine, and make everything okay, when she was incapable of doing that herself. Most likely it would have turned out all right—girls have babies every day, and it wasn’t like she’d been completely alone in the world. But at that point, it felt like total disaster…and it probably had to Ethan, too.
But Hannah was staunchly on her side.
“Why should you feel guilty? Ethan was the one who let you down. If anything, you let him off the hook.”
“Maybe…”
The silence that followed was loaded, and Hannah knew her well enough to guess that something was up.
“What? What is it?”
Her voice came out in a whisper, as if saying it aloud would drive the truth even farther home. “He’s dead, Han. He died right after I left.”
There was a strangled gasp at the end of the line as Hannah registered what she was saying. Then she came right out with the question that had been tormenting Jacinda.
“Oh my God. Did he kill himself?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so…” It sounded more like a question than a statement. The idea was unthinkable.
But Hannah had regrouped. “No, I’m sure he didn’t. He had everything going for him. Even if there’d been a baby, you guys would have worked it out somehow.”
If there’d been a baby. “He never knew I’d lost it. He thought I flew back to the States pregnant.”
“Well, if he didn’t want it, then what was the problem anyway?”
“I guess…” She knew it was more complicated than that, but she had no clue what could have been in his mind, or what he would have said if he’d come to see her before she left. “I can’t believe Nana Mac never told me.”
“She was probably trying to protect you. And your mom. I’m really sorry, Cin. You must be heartsick.”
“I feel like I’ve been knocked sideways.” She paused. “But I have no right to be.”
“Yes, you do. It was huge. And it was the thing that finished everything with your dad.”
“Yeah, well…” That was a topic for another day. “Probably better that way, in the end.”
“Maybe. But listen, don’t let him drive you away from there. You need this break, and it’s the only time you’re going to get. When you come home, we’ll have you working your butt off. You still have a tour to do, you know.”
“I do? Even after I kneed Greg in the…ego?”
She laughed. “Todd told me. Only you, Cin. But all is not lost. Todd’s still negotiating, and he’s aiming for a ten-city tour at least.”
“Shit.”
“Aren’t you happy about it?”
She looked down the length of her legs to her blue-painted toenails, incongruous against the sweet floral bedcover. “Sorry, I am happy. Of course. I just wonder whose terms it’ll be on.”
“We’ll iron out the details. It’ll be fine. No, it’ll be more than fine—it’ll be amazing.”
From this distance, she had to remind herself: it was what she’d always wanted. A springboard to the next level, that they’d all been working for. She had doubts, but she’d have to find a way to deal with them…and with Greg and co.
“Okay. Thanks. And tell your no-good husband thanks too.”
“You’re welcome. You’ll have to talk to him yourself soon, though—I can hold off the Lainey Kingsleys of the world, but I can’t hold your manager off indefinitely.”
“I know. He’s pretty determined.” She avoided thinking of the ways in which she’d held Todd off herself, until Hannah had come on the scene.
Now her friend’s voice took on a sadder tone.
“He’s away again, checking out some new talent in Austin, he said. He’ll be back in a few days though, hopefully.”
Jacinda hated to hear her sounding so downcast. “Okay, I’ll talk to him then.”
“Good. You know, now that you guys have both abandoned me, I’ve been training every day.”
Hannah had ruled the pool in high school, but given it up, discouraged, when she didn’t get a swim scholarship for college. Lately, though, she’d been swimming more again, and even got herself a coach, who was encouraging her to compete.
“That’s great! You should enter that swim contest, your times have been so good.”
But she made a pfft sound. “I’m too old for that.”
“Like I’m too old for the music biz?”
There was a pause at Hannah’s end. “Okay, I hear you. I’ll think about it.”
“Good. And take care of yourself.”
“I will. Oh, have you got any kittens to snuggle with yet?”
She eyed the empty end of the bed. “No, and I can’t find Velvet. I’m starting to get worried.”
“Don’t cats go off and find a secret place to have their kittens? Maybe she’s made a baby nest somewhere.”
Jacinda thought of the expensive faux-suede cat bed in the living room, unused. “Oh no. I’d better look harder for her.”
“She’ll be fine, I bet. Cats have been doing it by themselves forever.”
“Not this cat. Nana Mac will be beside herself if Velvet doesn’t give birth in luxury. She adores her.”
Hannah laughed. “Okay, do what you gotta do. Love you. And I am really sorry about Ethan. But don’t let Liam get under your skin.”
Jacinda remembered the way the hairs on her arm had practically stood on end as she walked past him into the house, the warmth of his slightly damp skin just a whisper away.
“I won’t.”
No way would she let that happen. Hannah didn’t mean that kind of under her skin, but her badly-behaved body was threatening to take it in exactly that direction—and that would only be one more way to complicate an already complicated situation. One more way for him to think badly of her. She wasn’t about to let some inappropriate thoughts—unrequited inappropriate thoughts—make a bad situation worse. She put him out of her mind, said goodbye to Hannah, and went to look for Velvet.