Fingers curl around mine and I’m vaguely aware of someone standing beside the bed. It must be morning. I barely slept but now I’m reluctant to wake up; my eyes feel crusted over.
“Wake up, Little Owl.” The voice isn’t my mom’s. It’s Pioneer’s.
I force my eyes open. It’s his hand on mine. He’s smiling down at me, but his forehead is all creased. I count the lines there—three lines. This probably means that he’s mad but not ballistic. I relax my shoulders and lean back on the pillow again. My accident hasn’t completely sent him over the edge … at least not yet.
I rub at my face and try not to look at Pioneer again, but I can feel him watching me. Cody spent the better part of our hour together last night showing me Internet clips from the disasters I told him about. Some of the footage was familiar, but the dates the disasters occurred weren’t. It was exactly how Cody said.
When I got back to my room, Mom wanted to know all about the X-rays and how they went and what the nurses said and did, but I couldn’t answer her. I didn’t even know how to begin to tell her all the things Cody told me. I had no idea where to start. Instead I just kept rubbing my temples and complaining about my head—which wasn’t exactly a diversion. My head was hurting, but so were my stomach and my heart. Eventually she gave up, helped me get into bed, and fell asleep herself.
I was awake for most of the night, everything I’d seen replaying on a loop in my head. I kept hearing Pioneer’s speech before he showed us the news clips. He seemed as shell-shocked as we were. I still can’t quite believe that he purposely lied. Is it possible that he was somehow duped as well?
Cody didn’t think so. He wanted to come back today, to bring his dad and see if there might be any way to keep me here at least one more day while they figure things out. I told him to stay away. I need time to think about everything, process it. I need to decide what I really believe. But it looks like my time is already up.
“Seems you’ve gotten yourself into quite a pickle here, Little Owl,” he says.
That’s the understatement of the century. I almost laugh—seems to me I’ve been in a pickle since the shooting range. At this point I’m pretty confident that I’m in a whole barrel full.
“How are you feeling?” he asks when I don’t reply.
“Like Indy’s galloped across my head a few times,” I say.
I sigh. I’m tired of explaining things to people. First the sheriff, then Cody, and now Pioneer. My thoughts feel disjointed and I can’t focus on any one thing—except for figuring out who exactly I should believe.
“I just wasn’t watching where I was going, that’s all. It was a very, very stupid accident.”
Pioneer’s eyes narrow. “And Sheriff Crowley? He stopped by, I hear.”
“Yes.”
Pioneer’s face hardens as he leans over me. My parents are behind him, standing close to the bathroom and whispering to one another. They can’t see Pioneer’s face. The abrupt change in his expression chills me, especially now that I know what he’s capable of.
“This was not the time to be careless, Lyla,” he says in a low voice.
I swallow and nod.
“What did he ask you?”
“He wanted to know exactly how the accident happened.”
“And?”
I hesitate a fraction of a second too long. He picks up my hand and holds it in his. Then he squeezes it a little too hard. I bite my lip.
“He wanted to know if I walked in front of it on purpose,” I say through my teeth. Crying out won’t do me any good. My parents are on Pioneer’s side when it comes to things that put the Community at risk.
“He what?” Mom’s voice raises an octave at the end. Apparently she’s been listening to us after all. I wonder if she saw him squeezing my hand. “That’s absurd! You didn’t tell me that.”
Didn’t I? I can’t remember. I thought I did.
Pioneer ignores my mom’s outburst. “And did you?”
“Of course not!” I cry.
“Then why did he ask you that?”
“I don’t know.”
“He had to have given you some reason,” he presses. He squeezes my hand even harder.
“Ouch,” I say through gritted teeth. “You’re hurting me.”
“Tell him, Lyla,” Dad warns.
“He … he saw my neck, you know, the wound there from last week,” I blurt.
Pioneer’s face pales a little and his eyes catch fire. His forehead creases go from three to five. “And what did you say about it?”
“I said I had an accident during chores, but he didn’t buy it. He thinks maybe you hurt me.”
My parents and Pioneer share a look. Then Pioneer rakes a hand through his hair. “Well, we’re all in a pretty pickle now. That man has been trying to figure us out for a while. I suspected it before, but once he came out to visit, I knew for certain. Seems like now he’s ready to come for us, guns blazing. And he won’t quit until he’s torn us apart, of that I’m sure.”
“So what do we do?” Mom’s lip quivers. She looks younger than me for a moment.
“We leave here. Now.”
“But we’re supposed to get her discharge papers. Shouldn’t we stay and sign them so they don’t have another reason to come after us?” Dad asks.
“You’re not getting what’s happening here,” Pioneer snaps. “That sheriff is coming for me. He’s going to tell people that I’m evil, that I’ve abused your child and everyone else’s. He’ll tell all the world that you’re fools for following me. And he will make them believe it too. They’ll say they are saving you when they come into Mandrodage Meadows, killing whoever fights them in their zeal to do what’s right. He’s determined to split our family up now, no matter how much it costs him or us. Don’t you see? We’re on the brink of war with a doomed man. He’s not going to just let us leave today if he can help it. We have to go prepare the Community for the fight that’s coming. We can’t waste any time. Because until the last days, he has more resources than we do. He can win right now and he knows it.”
My mom sobs into my dad’s chest.
Pioneer goes to the shelf where my clothes are neatly folded. He throws them onto the bed. “Put these on quick, girl.”
I don’t know what to do. Everything’s happening so fast. In the end I do what I’m used to, what I’ve always done when I’m panicked. I obey Pioneer. The room tilts a little as I scramble out of bed with my clothes and rush to the bathroom. We’ll be gone in a few minutes. I won’t see Cody again. I’d thought maybe we might have some time to see each other today. I didn’t say goodbye. Now I won’t get to.
I shut myself in the bathroom and lean against the door. I try to breathe, but I’m gasping instead. I’m leaving with a man I’m not sure I totally believe anymore. I haven’t been able to tell my parents about the disasters, to show them the real footage or talk to them about the dates. I’m still not sure it’s enough to make them doubt everything he’s said all this time.
Once I’m dressed, Pioneer and my parents head out into the hall. I follow until I realize that I’ve forgotten my backpack. Once I’m in the room, I realize I forgot something else too. The magazines and book. I consider leaving them, but can’t. Cody brought them for me. It’s all I have of him and I can’t leave them behind. I quickly stuff them into the bottom of my pack and pull my sketchbook and various other items over them to make them harder to spot. I slip the pack over one shoulder and head out into the hallway.
Pioneer and my parents are down the hall by the elevators. They motion for me. I glance over at the nurses’ station. There’s only one nurse there and her head is down, the pencil in her hand moving quickly over her paper. I don’t hesitate, I just walk past, head up, pace brisk but not at a run, not yet. Once I’m out of her sight line, I jog to where they are, trying desperately not to bounce off the right side wall and then the left. Why won’t this hallway stop rocking? I’m out of breath instantly. I’m still so, so dizzy. My mom wraps her arm around my shoulder and we walk past the elevators and toward the stairs.
“Hurry now,” Pioneer urges in a whisper. He opens the door to the stairs and slams into the sheriff. Both men stumble into the stairwell. Cody is there, halfway down the stairs. He hurries up the last few steps and puts a hand on the sheriff’s back to steady him. He looks at me, his eyes full of questions and alarm.
If Pioneer is panicked by any of this, he doesn’t show it. He pulls back and glares at the sheriff.
“You all seem to be in something of a hurry,” Sheriff Crowley says.
Pioneer shakes his head and attempts a smile. “Just anxious to get our Lyla home so she can rest. We’ve all been real worried about her.”
“Sure, sure.” The sheriff looks from Pioneer to me. “How you doin’ this morning?”
“Good,” I say. I try to keep my eyes on him and not Cody. My parents and Pioneer are watching.
“Wait!” The nurse who was at the desk when we passed comes running down the hall. “You haven’t been discharged yet.”
The sheriff’s left eyebrow shoots up. “Well now, you were in a hurry, weren’t you?”
Pioneer glares at him but says nothing.
“The doctor needs to check on you one last time before he signs your papers, and your parents need to go down to the billing office.”
She leads us back down the hallway and we have no choice but to follow. My parents veer off at the elevators and make their way to the billing office, while Pioneer accompanies me back to my room. I’m pretty sure he won’t let me out of his sight until we’re gone. The sheriff and Cody are close on our heels.
My stomach won’t stop trembling. Anger rolls off Pioneer in waves. There’s a confrontation brewing between the sheriff and Pioneer. I can feel it gathering like a storm cloud above us. The longer we’re all together, the bigger the cloud gets.
“I’d like to speak to Lyla one last time while you’re all waiting to go,” Sheriff Crowley says as we walk.
“Absolutely not.” Pioneer stops walking and stares at him. “She’s been through enough.”
“I can see that. Seems like she’s had several accidents recently, not just the car.” He gestures toward my neck.
Pioneer’s eyes flash. “Exactly what are you implying?”
Sheriff Crowley looks him squarely in the eyes. “That living in Mandrodage Meadows might be a bit dangerous.”
“Listen, I don’t know where this is coming from. I took you on a tour of our development myself. What exactly do you think is so dangerous? Clean living?” Pioneer says.
The sheriff shakes his head. “Well then, if you don’t have anything to hide, maybe you’d like to answer a few of my questions yourself, Mr. Cross?”
Mr. Cross. That’s his real name. Mr. Alan Cross. I remember it from last night.
Pioneer looks dumbstruck for a second, but the sheriff just keeps staring at him, the challenge plain on his face.
Pioneer looks over at me. If I go with him, I’ll get to hear his take on all that Cody and the sheriff have found out. “Lyla, go sit on that chair over there and wait for me.” Strange, I thought for sure that he’d make me stay by his side. “I’ll go, but your boy can’t wait with her,” Pioneer says to the sheriff. “And we’ll talk right over there.” He points to the other end of the nurses’ station, still in plain view of my chair.
Cody’s dad gives him a look and Cody nods and walks toward the bank of elevators. But then as Pioneer and his dad turn around, he ducks down and hurries over to the low wall on this side of the nurses’ station and sits on the floor where they can’t see him but I can. I lean over and pretend to rub my temples. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Pioneer look over at me, but then the sheriff says something and Pioneer’s eyes snap over to him.
“Are you okay?” Cody whispers, almost too low for me to hear.
I nod into my hands.
“Lyla, you don’t have to go back with him. My dad says he can keep you here if you say Pioneer hurt you. I mean, he did do that to your neck, didn’t he? I don’t think you should go home. Not right now.”
I peer out at him through the curtain I’ve made with my hair so Pioneer can’t see my face very well. “Why not?”
Cody looks uncomfortable. “I overheard my Dad talking about you guys in his office yesterday when I was working the phones at the station. He’s going out to Mandrodage Meadows again. Soon. And so is the rest of the force plus some people from the ATF.”
“The who?”
“The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. They think Pioneer’s purchased some illegal weapons and gun parts. Dad had a few tips called in a while back—that’s why we came out to visit you all last time, to do an initial scout-out of the place. But until yesterday he didn’t have anything more to go on. Then he got a tip from a guy one state over who had been arrested for selling stolen guns this past week. He wanted to try and get out of his charge by narcing on his customer list. You guys were mentioned. I took the call from the guy working that case when it came in and just sort of … forgot to hang up. Dad’s got more than enough now to search your place thoroughly.”
I let his words sink in. Our worst fears are coming true. They’re going to invade Mandrodage Meadows. And I know that my family and friends won’t let them without a fight. We won’t have to wait for the end anymore. It’s already here. If these people have their way, they will force a fight that could quite possibly kill us all.
Anger flares inside me. I’m angry at Pioneer for buying the guns and attracting more attention than any of the rest of us ever could. I’m angry at the sheriff for coming after us, and I’m even angry at Cody for making me doubt Pioneer and the Community, for trying to convince me to leave them. All three of them have taken away everything that’s ever made me feel safe. Now I feel like I don’t have solid ground to stand on anymore.
“Lyla, do you understand what I’m saying?” Cody whispers.
I look over at Pioneer and the sheriff. They’re in the midst of a very intense conversation. I can’t hear their words. I can’t even really process Cody’s. I don’t understand. All I know for sure is that I can’t stay here. My whole world is back at Mandrodage Meadows. I can’t betray it for a boy I barely know just because Pioneer said some things that weren’t exactly true. I have to go back and warn everyone about what’s coming. I have to tell them about what Pioneer’s done, about who he is, so that they can decide for themselves what to do next. I can’t choose to be safe while everyone else is in danger.
“I have to go home,” I say.
Crouching low, Cody scurries over to where I’m sitting. He grabs my hand. “No, you don’t. Lyla, please. This can’t end well. It won’t end well.”
Before I have a chance to answer, Pioneer is suddenly next to us, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Cody.
“I thought I told you to stay away from her,” he says in a low voice.
“Let go of her,” Cody fires back, his eyes just as dangerous and unstable as Pioneer’s.
“I’m okay, Cody. Please, just go, okay? I’m fine.” I look at Sheriff Crowley. “Really, everything is fine. You’ve got this all wrong. All we want is to be left alone. We’re not hurting any of you, so please, just let us go home.”
Pioneer looks pleased by my speech. Cody and Sheriff Crowley don’t. I have to make them leave us alone—for all of our sakes. “Thank you both for your concern, but I don’t need it. I’m right where I want to be.” Maybe this is not entirely true, maybe I’m right where I need to be, but I don’t clarify.
I look at Cody. I try to put my goodbye in my face. I hope he sees it and recognizes it for what it is. He needs to stop trying to rescue me. I’m not even sure that I can be, not anymore.