Ben was standing beside Anthony’s horse with his arm resting on the animal’s neck and his hand tangled in its mane. How long had it been, Carina wondered, one month or two? His hair was windswept and his face lined and weary. She looked at him and felt no leap of happiness. There was an iron chain around her heart and she passed her tongue over her lips.
‘How did you know I was here?’ she asked.
‘Your aunt gave me directions and Sir Anthony lent me his horse.’
‘I meant in Northumberland. Did you get Harry’s letter?’
Ben led the horse up the bank and looped the reins next to those of the pony. He reached inside his jacket for a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to her.
‘Read this, if you will.’
Carina spread the note open and scanned the brief contents.
Miss Temple instructs me to inform you she has placed herself under my protection. Should you attempt to write or to meet with her, she will seek your indictment on the charge of grievous harm against her person.
Harry Carstairs
Surely, it must be a forgery? Carina read it again. Harry’s signature was unmistakable. She felt her palms prickling and her hands begin to shake. The letter fluttered to the ground and Ben stooped to pick it up.
‘When Greta and Stefan arrived in Palermo without you, I caught the next ferry to Naples. Mr Carstairs’s letter was waiting. Did you instruct him to write to me?’
So Ben had arrived in Naples the same day they sailed for England. They had missed each other by only a few hours. Harry had deliberately misled him – But why? Carina saw disillusionment in Ben’s eyes and answered stiffly.
‘I didn’t know Harry had written until a few weeks ago. He told my aunt he had informed you that he was bringing me here. He assured us you were aware of my whereabouts.’
‘Did he now? So, Harry Carstairs isn’t quite as honourable he would have us believe? I suppose he’s still in love with you and hoped to get me out of the way. But let’s not pin all the blame on him. Did it not occur to you how I might feel when you disappeared without any kind of explanation?’
She hadn’t let herself, Carina thought. In her madness and misery, she had been tormented by the thought of Ben and Bianca together. Why make it worse by speculating on how Ben felt when he found her gone? Relief, she imagined now. There was too much to disentangle and she did not answer.
‘I searched all of Naples and then paid a call on your grandmother. She received me kindly and I was sorry to alarm her. When Lady Farne’s letter arrived, she sent your cousin to tell me. It was only then any of us knew you were alive. Honestly, Carina! How could you be so careless of those you left behind?’
‘I wasn’t myself. I cannot remember …’
‘Will you try, please? I know you’ve been ill, your aunt has told me that much. So, unless you prefer to be outside, I suggest we avail ourselves of the hut.’
Ben guided her towards the door and picked up the chair as they went past. He placed it inside and motioned for her to sit down. Carina remained on her feet. Whatever he had to say, she preferred to hear it standing up. Her glance passed over him, taking in his travel-worn clothes. Ben felt like someone she had known long ago. How could it be like this?
‘What happened to you after I left Naples? Please tell me, Carina.’
Ben held his hand out to her and Carina folded her arms across her chest. Before the coldness in her face, his expression hardened. He took a cheroot from his case and struck a match to light it, blowing a ring of smoke into the air.
‘You’re aware Riccardo Scalia is dead,’ he said.
It was a statement, not a question and Carina was silent. She stood, looking out of the door and concentrated on tiny particles of dust dancing in the light.
‘His body was discovered after you left Italy.’ Ben continued. ‘The authorities treated it as a political assassination. They were unable to identify the killer and Garibaldi has since declared the case closed.’
He was giving her the facts, but Ben couldn’t feel the emptiness inside. Did he suspect that she was involved? It seemed like a lifetime ago. What did it matter now?
‘I’ve had no news from Italy,’ Carina chose her words carefully. ‘I don’t suppose anyone was very sorry.’
‘I was questioned by the police on my return from Sicily. They showed me the gun used to kill Scalia. It was very similar to the one I gave you. Tell me, do you still have the Colt pistol?’
‘Harry took charge of my affairs. He may have left it in Naples—’
‘But you’re not sure?’
‘I suffered from memory loss.’
‘Do you remember why you ran away? Was it to get away from me?’
‘And if it was?’
‘I’m sorry you didn’t have the decency to tell me yourself. I am your husband – or did you forget that as well?’
Ben was twisting what she said, making it sound as if it was all her fault, and resentment fired Carina’s spirit.
‘I haven’t forgotten. Surely that’s why you’re here? You’ve come to obtain an annulment of our marriage.’
‘An annulment? On what grounds, may I ask?’
‘Adultery with Bianca Scalia. I’ve been kept well informed.’
‘Is that what you think – that Bianca and I left Naples together?’
Carina ignored the bitterness in his voice. They had come to the point sooner than expected. At last, the truth was out in the open. She must get this over before she lost her nerve.
‘Why not? You’ve been in love with each other for years.’
‘Or so Riccardo Scalia told you!’
‘Yes, if you must know—’
‘And you believed him?’
‘He showed me Bianca’s locket, the one she always wears. He said she left it to prove that she was with you. He said you were lovers …’
The words died on her lips as Ben dropped his cigar butt on the floor and crushed it beneath the heel of his boot. He was looking at her as if she had said something so stupid it was beyond credibility. Ben was good at this kind of thing, Carina reminded herself. He would try to manipulate her and she must not let him.
‘Do you think I’d have married you if I loved another woman?’
‘I don’t know what to think? How can I when you never confide in me? You warned me never to speak of Bianca. Why was that – unless you had a secret to hide?’
Carina wasn’t aware she raised her voice and threw out her arms. Ben’s hands came down on her shoulders and he leant his face so close to hers she felt his breath on her cheek.
‘I’m not in love with Bianca and she did not travel to Sicily with me. Scalia had her committed to a hospital for the insane six months ago.’
There was a dark look in his eyes, not of anger but the pain of returning memory. Ben was as tense as a cat ready to pounce and Carina braced herself for whatever was coming next. When he spoke, his voice was so low she strained to hear his words.
‘Riccardo Scalia lied to you. Bianca is not my lover. She is my sister.’
How she came to be standing outside, Carina did not remember. Ben must have moved the chair to let her pass for she was aware the tide had come in and water covered the beach. In her mind she was in the library at Monteleone, reading Lord Byron’s poem: ‘They knew not I knew thee who knew thee too well …’ It was rumoured Byron wrote the verse for his half-sister by whom he fathered a child. Nothing was impossible. Ben might have been in love with Bianca. He had gone to see her in Naples. There were meant to be no secrets between them – so why hadn’t he told her?
Carina heard Ben speaking, his voice reaching her from a distance.
‘My brother and I were the result of a liaison Donna Isabella had before she married Bianca’s father. We were brought to Monteleone after her husband died and didn’t discover the truth until years later. Before he proposed to Bianca, Scalia made extensive enquiries and discovered our true parentage. Donna Isabella was terrified the scandal would destroy her daughter’s prospects. She told us everything on the day we were packed off to Ireland.’
‘And your father?’ Carina turned her head slightly.
‘Patrick Mavrone was stationed in Sicily after the war. Quite a shock when his illegitimate sons turned up years later – but he did his duty by us. He paid for our education and gave me refuge when I was in exile.’
‘I came across a bookmark in your brother’s book, a lock of Bianca´s hair.’
‘I placed it there when Alex died.’
Everything fitted into place and Carina believed him. She should have felt sorry for Bianca, but Ben could have been talking about someone she had never met. Ben was the man she had loved more than life itself; yet she felt as far removed from him as when she first saw him riding on the beach. She had thought her love was invincible and she was wrong. Her heart had turned to stone.
Carina stood motionless, her attitude as unyielding as her state of mind and Ben’s arm went round her shoulders.
‘I’ve come to take you home, sweetheart.’
‘Please will you leave now?’ Throwing him off, Carina backed away. ‘If you hurry, you can catch the last train. Take Anthony’s horse! I’ll arrange for its collection later.’
‘What the devil—?’
‘I’m not coming home with you!’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I prefer to stay here. I’m better off in England.’
‘Not in your aunt’s opinion. She’s invited me to stay until you’re well enough to make the journey.’
‘Name of Mercy, do I have to spell it out? I don’t want to return to Italy. I’m never coming back!’
‘What are you afraid of, Carina? Did Scalia make a coward of you?’
‘Yes, I’m a coward.’
‘You’ve never been a coward in your life.’ Ben spoke without raising his voice.’ Do you know what I think? I think you’re one of those women who love the thrill of the chase and lose interest once they’ve hunted their prey to ground. Did I fail to live up to your expectations, Carina? Were you bored by the constraints of married life? Give me an honest answer, but don’t dare say you’re afraid of loving me.’
Carina looked at the sandy turf and rushes growing at the edge of the dunes. Ben’s taunts were deliberate, forcing her to where she didn’t want to go. Her pulse was beating at such a rate, she felt dizzy. She tried to hold on, but her mind was moving too fast. Hellish memory crashed in, shattering the paralysis that guarded her spirit and she was back to the darkness and terror of that night. She saw Scalia’s contorted face, saliva dribbling from his mouth. She smelt his blood and felt the sweat on his fingers as he touched her. Carina reached for the collar of her dress, her hands working frantically at the buttons until they were undone. Then she pulled the bodice open down to her corsage and stepped forward.
‘Here’s your answer, Ben! See what hatred and revenge have done to me!’
The wounds had healed, their scars vivid on her pale skin. Two lines were scored diagonally one across the other, running from the tip of her collarbone to the rise of each breast, in the mark of vendetta. The same blasphemous cross was burnt into the trees of Calabria and carved into rocks on the hillsides of Sicily. Carina saw in Ben’s eyes the awakening horror she experienced every day in her room. Her voice dropped to a whisper.
‘Scalia said it was the last act of the vendetta. I killed him because of you. I damned my mortal soul on your account.’
Ben was the only person on earth who could share this with her. She did not expect an appeal for forgiveness. It was hardly Ben’s style, but she longed for him to say something that might help through the years ahead. If he had put his arms around her, she would have accepted any strength he had to give but he was too shocked to speak. Ben turned away, his profile rigid as he stared out over the charcoal sea. Everything they had been through together was drawing to a close.
The trembling in her hands ceased and Carina refastened her bodice. ‘Go home to Sicily and seek whatever comfort you can. Leave me to find my own peace.’
Ben turned his head and gave her a long look that went through her in the absent, brooding gaze she knew so well. She must get back and convince Alice there was no point in prolonging his visit. Carina began to walk to where the pony was hitched to the post. Ben would not call her back or try to stop her. If he had spoken it might have acted as a spur, but he was silent and the short distance to the trap felt like a progress to the gallows. Carina was exhausted but, tired as she was, her mind ran on. Nothing in life will be so hard again. Don’t pity the man you are leaving behind. Ben will manage well enough without you. He always has …
Carina unhitched the driving reins and climbed up onto the driving board. Reaching down, she retrieved her cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. The chestnut stamped restlessly as they moved off and she turned the pony’s head away from the sea down the rutted track that led to the house.
It was past nine o’clock when Carina went to bed. Rose had brought her supper on a tray but she could not eat while Ben was in the house. She had begged Alice to find him lodgings in Salford village. Her aunt looked at her despairingly and said she would not dream of being so inhospitable. Colonel Mavrone must stay tonight and leave in the morning. It was the very least they could do for him. She had even gone so far as to put Ben in the room adjoining her own, and was now entertaining him downstairs.
It was a cold, still night and sounds carried. Carina heard dinner being cleared and the servants going to bed. When Alice tapped on her door she snuffed out the candle and pretended to be asleep. The door opened and then shut. Ben would be having a cigar with Anthony and come upstairs later. She had taken the precaution of locking the connecting door and would stay awake until the light beneath it went out.
She had been half-dead before but now every nerve in her body was on fire. Her heart would not be quiet. She hadn’t intended to confront Ben this afternoon. She had put all the blame on him when it was not his fault. I’ve done exactly as Scalia intended, she thought. He marked me in order to hurt Ben and destroy our love. Harry deceived us both – but I was the one who lost faith – not Ben. He came to take me home and I sent him away. Tomorrow he will leave my life forever. What if I still love him? Don’t be a fool, an inner voice answered. You told Ben all he needs to know. He will never look at you again without horror and disgust. How can you live together as man and wife?
There were footsteps in the passage and Carina sat up as she heard his bedroom door shut. Her curtains were open and there was enough light to see the key safely in the lock. Ben was undressing and she waited for him to try the door. The light from the oil lamp dimmed. Soon he would extinguish the candle and she lay back on the pillows. Noises that usually went unnoticed were loud, the murmur of wind in the leaves and the distant hoot of a barn owl. Ben must be asleep, so why was there still light beneath the door?
The clock on the landing chimed eleven and Carina got out of bed and tiptoed across the floor. She put her ear to the door. There was no sound from his side. With her heart in her throat, she turned the key. She glanced around the dressing room with its dark oak furniture and saw Ben’s motionless form on the bed. Just as she had thought, he had fallen asleep and left the candle burning on the table beside him.
With her hand at the neck of her nightgown, Carina crossed the threshold and stopped. Alexander came so forcefully into her mind that she could not move. She imagined him standing by the bed. He was the same height as Ben, with the same profile and dark hair, only younger as he had been in the miniature. If she wasn’t careful, her sixth sense would bring him to life and she would hear him speak. Alex was Ben’s identical twin, she thought. They had been conceived as one. The empathy and understanding between them was unlike any other. When he died, Ben had lost a living part of himself. Every time he looked in the glass he saw, not his own reflection, but the image of his dead twin. How could he ever accept that Alex was dead and he was alone?
It struck Carina with sudden, blinding clarity. The part of Ben hidden from her belonged to his twin. It was Alexander and not Bianca he kept in his heart and no one could take his place. Now, at last, she understood his distrust and fear of commitment, the pain and madness that drove him to revenge. Ben had suffered terrible and inescapable grief. Selida had tried to tell her, but she had not listened. She had wanted more from Ben than he was able to give.
The image of Alexander faded as she walked over to the bed and looked down. Ben was asleep with one arm bent under his head on the pillow. His handsome face was ravaged by exhaustion and her heart wrenched. She felt more sorry for him than she had felt for anyone before. The vendetta and all that had followed had led to this moment. If he stayed with her, Ben would be reminded of Alex’s murder every day for the rest of his life. He deserved to be free of his past. And, if she loved him, she must let him go.
Self-sacrifice went against the very grain of her nature and Carina fought with her conscience. I can’t do this! I’m not noble and unselfish like Gabriella. I love Ben with all my heart. How can I give up the one person who is more precious to me than anything in the world? God give me the strength to do what is right, not for myself, but for Ben.
A tear fell on her cheek and she wiped it away. Carina lifted her hair off her face and traced a cross on Ben’s forehead. He did not move and she held her breath and bent down to kiss him lightly on the lips. A draught came through the window as she straightened up and snuffed out the candle. She could see the open door to her bedroom and was about to make her way back when Ben’s fingers encircled her wrist. Carina let out a gasp as he shifted over and drew back the bedclothes. His face was in shadow and she stood trembling until he reached for her and pulled her next to him on the narrow bed.
Ben put his arms around her and she lay with her head in the crook of his arm. Her whole body was shaking until his warmth and stillness infiltrated her senses. Tension and sorrow left her and peace fell on her spirit. ‘I love you. I love you,’ she whispered in the darkness, hoping Ben might hear, but he was already asleep.
Carina woke up as Ben left the bed and went to shut the window. She heard him use the bellows to blow the embers alight, and, when he came back, turned on her side to face him. He put his hand on her cheek and drew his finger over her lips and down her chin. How she loved the feel of his hands, the comfort of him close to her. Looking into his eyes, Carina felt he could see into her soul.
‘I’m not leaving without you, sweetheart.’
‘But how can I return to Italy? I’ll be charged with murder.’
‘Enough evidence of Scalia’s atrocities has come to light for Garibaldi to have him arrested and executed. You saved him the trouble of a public trial. No one apart from ourselves will ever know.’
‘But Scalia wasn’t going to kill me. I shot him in retaliation.’
‘God will reward you for ridding the world of a monster.’
‘How can you be so certain?’
‘Scalia committed crimes for which he will be damned. His treatment of Bianca was beyond forgiveness.’ Ben’s voice was heavy with impotent anger. ‘He locked her up in a lunatic asylum on grounds of mental instability. When I found her in Naples she was barely alive. Greta and Stefan helped me move her to the convent of Santa Lucia. Now she’s in the good care of the nuns, I pray she will be at peace.’
So, Prince Scalia was aware Bianca was half-sister to the twins and yet he executed Alexander all the same. Did Greta and Stefan also know the truth?
‘Selida is the only person alive who knows that Bianca is my sister.’ Ben read her mind. ‘When Alex died, I vowed never to let anyone close to me again. I was insane during the years of my exile and afraid to go back to that time. How could I expect you to understand?’
‘You could have tried.’
‘And you could have written to me. Why didn’t you?’
They had both made the same mistake, Carina thought, both too proud to admit weakness and seek reassurance from the other. Only honesty could save them now.
‘I was never certain that you loved me.’
‘Why else would I marry you?’
‘You’re a possessive man. You didn’t want anyone else to have me.’
‘Oh, my darling. The moment I laid eyes on you I knew you were put on this earth to cause me trouble. I had never met a woman like you. I was captivated by your beauty and courage. When Ruffo dropped you into my lap I knew I had met my match. I should have been kinder but you fought so hard, you drove me beyond restraint. I wanted to protect you and sent you away from Monteleone so that you would be safe. I did everything in my power to forget you, but I could not. Then there you were in Palermo on Garibaldi’s arm. Every time I tried to hold on to you, you flew away. Every time I tried to leave you, you caught up with me.’
Ben had cared for her for longer than she had known. How could she have ever doubted him? There was so much she had failed to understand. I should have believed in him, Carina thought. She was silent and Ben took her face in both his hands with his thumbs beneath her chin.
‘Your stubborn, unconditional love saved me, my darling. When I failed to persuade you to marry Harry, I convinced myself Scalia was no longer a threat. I should have known better. Name of God, I never meant you to come to any harm.’
Carina had never before heard him speak with such emotion. She looked at Ben and, for the first time, saw him as he really was – a man who needed to love as much as to be loved. Their hearts and minds were at one but there was something she had to say, even now, at the risk of losing her last chance of happiness.
‘I won’t let you take me back out of duty, Ben. I’d rather die than endure your pity.’
‘Pity’s not an emotion you arouse in those who love you, Carina. Besides, how would I dare face Greta if I came home without you?’
Ben’s fingers moved to the ribbon of her nightgown. He undid the bow so it fell open to the waist. Carina’s hands went up to cover herself and he took hold of them and placed them by her side. She felt his lips touch her skin, his mouth moving along the lines left by Scalia’s knife. He planted tiny kisses on the scars and her closed eyes were wet with tears. When he raised his head, she pressed his cheek to her own and he took her in his arms.
‘Never take your love away from me. I love you and cannot live without you. I will love you until the end of time, my darling, brave, beautiful woman.’