6
As the week progressed and Shar still hadn’t made up her mind whether she should stay or go, her parents started in on each other. Things became so contentious between her parents that Shar sat on the porch rather than go in the house most evenings. But sitting on the porch didn’t stop her from hearing the arguments. Even now as she tried to set her mind on other things Shar could hear her daddy saying, “If that Pastor Landon really loved Shar like he claims he do, he’d wish her well and promise to be waiting when she gets back.”
“And why should he do that?” Marlene yelled back.
“Why shouldn’t he? What kind of man, claiming to love a woman, won’t let down his pride so that she can have the things she wants out of life?”
“You that kind of man, Johnny Gracey.” Marlene’s voice was filled with accusation and venom. “You promised to love me and see to my happiness and Shar’s happiness, but you’re breaking my heart and you don’t even care.”
“Marlene, now that’s not fair. All I ever strived for in life was to do right by you and Shar. But the two of us together barely bring in enough money to pay the rent on this house. How we going to afford the care you need without Shar bringing in some extra money? You think I want you to sit here and die just so Shar can run off and marry that preacher that you been throwing her on for over a year now?”
Shar felt as if she was being pulled in a hundred different directions. She and her daddy had always been close. He’d told her on countless occasions that she was the apple of his eye. But her vacillating over this decision was causing him to look at her differently. Her mama was mad at her for even considering going on this tour. And Shar hadn’t heard a peep out of Landon since Sunday afternoon. She’d never dreamed in a million years that her prayers would get answered like this.
Shar couldn’t take anymore. She got up off the stoop, getting ready to headed to the church. They was having a fish fry this Friday, so she hoped that she would be able to catch up with Landon and talk this out. She felt like a poster child for the phrase, be careful what you pray for because you just may get it . . . and then be forced to choose between two blessings.
Before Shar could get off the porch, her mama stopped arguing with her daddy because a coughing spell overtook her. It sounded so awful that Shar opened the front door and raced to her mama’s side. “What’s wrong with her, Daddy?”
Marlene was struggling to hold herself up as her body was being ravished with a cough that she couldn’t stop or control. Johnny took his wife’s arm and sat her down on the couch.
“Now do you see what your constant bickering has done?” Shar barked at her father.
Marlene lifted a hand as she struggled to regain her voice. “Not his fault.”
Shar looked at her daddy. She saw fear in his eyes. His wife was suffering, and he couldn’t do a thing about it. She turned her eyes back to her mama, and for the first time since all these coughing spells began, Shar noticed how much weight her mother had lost. “Mama, do you want me and Daddy to get you to the hospital?”
Marlene shook her head as she got up off the couch. “I’ll be fine. Just need to rest is all.”
Shar followed her mother. Marlene got in her bed. Shar put a blanket around her and then sat down next to the bed. Marlene closed her eyes, looking as if the coughing had zapped all the energy out of her body. She sat there rubbing her mama’s head while she slept, remembering all the times that her mama had done this same thing for her when she was feeling poorly. She would return the favor, and nothing more needed to be mulled over.
As tears rolled down her face, Shar’s heart was breaking with the knowledge that even though her prayers had been answered, she was still Shar Gracey and life just wasn’t gon’ roll over and let her be happy.
“Looks like you done made up your mind. Am I right about that, baby-girl?”
Her daddy had come into the room with them. Shar nodded.
“Do I want to hear this decision of yours?” he asked.
She nodded again as she wiped the tears from her face. “I suspect you right, Daddy. If Landon really loves me, then he’ll wait until I get back from this tour.”
Johnny clapped his hands. “Did you hear that, Marlene?” Marlene’s eyes fluttered, but she didn’t respond. “And I don’t care what you got to say about it, because I’m getting you to the hospital no sooner than Shar gets herself on that tour bus.”
After having a five-day pity party, Landon realized that he didn’t want to lose Shar, even if it meant that he would have to get in line behind her singing career. He loved her, and if he hadn’t made it clear enough the last time they spoke, Shar Gracey was the only woman for him. With hat in hand, Landon made his way back over to the Gracey house.
Johnny opened the door and came out on the porch with a suspicious look on his face. “No use trying to talk her out of doing what she was born to do, Reverend. Does God tell the rooster not to crow or the lion not to roar?”
“Now, Johnny, I know you don’t attend church or have much interest in the things of God like me and Shar.”
“What does my not wanting you to stop my daughter from pursuing her dreams got to do with me not attending that church of yours?” Johnny folded his arms around his belly, waiting on an answer.
“Nothing, I didn’t mean it like that . . . ” Landon shook his head. “Look, I’m not here to argue with you or to stand in Shar’s way. I was just hoping that you would allow me to see her one more time. Is that possible?”
“Well I don’t know about that.” Johnny puffed out his chest, showing that he was every bit the man of the house and his word was law around there. “Shar has a real chance of getting out of here and making something of her life. And I just don’t believe that the good Lord blessed her with a voice like that, just so she can hang around here, helping her mother with the washing.
“So if I let you talk to Shar, I want you to give me your word as a man of God that you won’t be putting no thoughts of marriage and babies in her head.”
Landon didn’t understand why Johnny was so dead set against Shar and him getting married. Didn’t every father want marriage and a happy home for his children? “Look, Mr. Gracey, I can promise you that I won’t try to stop Shar from doing what she wants to do. But you need to understand something. I love your daughter and have been dreaming about marrying her for at least a year now. I want to do right by her.”
“Then let her go on this tour so she can help her family out,” Johnny demanded.
“I will. Now can you please let me speak to Shar so she doesn’t leave town without me at least saying good-bye?”
Begrudgingly, Johnny opened his front door and hollered inside, “Shar, get out here, gal. Pastor Landon wants to talk to you.”
Shar rushed to the front door. She stepped out on the porch with her daddy and Landon. Joy shone across her face at the sight of him. “How are you doing today?” she asked.
Landon smiled. “I’m better now that I have you in my presence.” Landon then turned back to Johnny who had just rolled his eyes at Landon’s statement. “Do you mind if Shar takes a walk with me?”
“Just around the corner and back, that’s all the time y’all need to talk,” Johnny said as he stepped back into the house. He then turned back to Shar and said, “Don’t stay gone too long. Your mama might be needing you.”
“Okay, Daddy, I won’t be long.” Shar stepped off the porch and started walking down the street with Landon. “I never expected that you’d come back by the house. I was getting ready to go by the church, but then Mama had another one of her coughing spells.”
“Is that right,” Landon said, allowing his chest to puff a bit at the knowledge that Shar was still thinking about him. As they rounded the corner, Landon said, “To tell you the truth, Shar, this situation has been on my mind all week. I could barely concentrate to write my sermon.”
“I don’t want God mad at me for troubling your mind, Landon. Please get your sermon done and preach a grand message this Sunday. I surely need to hear something grand to stop my heart from aching like it’s been doing.”
Her mind was made up. Landon could see it all over her face, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking. He had to hear the words fall from her lips. He stopped walking, looked into her eyes as he asked, “You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?”
“This hasn’t been easy for me, Landon.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
Shar lowered her head, shuffled her feet, and then spit it out. “The thought of losing you is breaking my heart, but I have got to go.”
Overcome with emotion, Landon grabbed hold of Shar’s hands, not caring who saw the preacher holding hands with the lady he intended to marry. “I just got to let you know that I’m not going nowhere, Shar Gracey. I’m going to be right here waiting until you return. And when you return home, the first thing I’m going to do is ask for your hand in marriage again.”
“Oh, Landon, do you really mean it?”
He let go of her hands and started back on their journey down the street. “As sure as the day is long, I mean every word.” He stopped again and looked into her eyes. “I love you, Shar. Been loving you for a long time now, and I believe that our love will survive.”
Tears sprang to Shar’s eyes. “I love you too, Landon. But I never imagined that you felt the same way about me. Never imagined that you would love me enough to let me go for a spell.”
“I’ve been trying to put my house in order. I just opened a savings account down at the bank. I wanted to show your daddy that I’d be able to take care of you. So that once you come back, you’ll never have to leave my side again.”
“I have no doubt that you’d be able to take care of me. I’m just thankful that you’re willing to wait for me to go and do what I need to do for my mama. I promise you that when I come back home, I won’t be thinking about anything but becoming Mrs. Landon Norstrom.”
“And Shar . . . ”
They had resumed walking, rounded the corner, and headed back to her house. “Yes, Landon?”
“So that we don’t miss each other too much, maybe we should exchange letters.”
“I would love that.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small Bible with a black leather-bound cover. “I want you to take this with you. Whenever you feel sad or alone, just remember that God is always with you and I will be with you soon enough.”
They were in front of her house again. She took the Bible from him and then wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight and taking in the scent of him. She would carry his scent along with her on the journey.
Shar had her suitcase on top of her bed, folding up her dresses and piling them in one by one. As she did so, she realized that she was truly leaving home. She wouldn’t be seeing her mom or dad or even Landon for a while, and her heart began to ache a bit.
She began singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Her mother opened her bedroom door and came in humming the same song—“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.”
“Shar, chile, you are singing my song,” Marlene declared as she began folding some of the clothes on Shar’s bed and placing them in her suitcase.
“I know you like that song, Mama. I was just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you and everybody else, and the song just bubbled up in my heart until I had to sing it.”
“I’m going to miss you too, baby. I just don’t know what I’m going to do without you around this house.”
Shar looked at her mama. She had stayed up late last night getting the washing done for Mrs. Jackson, and then she had come to Shar’s room to help her pack. Marlene picked up Shar’s undergarments and began folding them. Shar moved them out of her mother’s reach. “You don’t have to help me with this, Mama. I can see that you’re tired.”
“Tired or not, I’m not letting my child go off into this world without first making sure you’ve at least got clean undergarments and your dresses that need stitching get it.” Marlene sat down on the bed. “Now, if you’re concerned about how tired I am, I’ll just sit here and help you with the folding while stretching out my legs.”
Her mama amazed her. She was so strong, even when she was weak. Marlene Gracey would sooner die than ignore the needs of her family. She would miss her mama every day that she was gone. But she would remain strong because her mother needed her. “Okay, Mama, you can help me all you want, just as long as you prop your feet up while you’re doing it.”
Shar worked with her mother for the next hour on what should and shouldn’t go into her suitcase. When they were finished and Shar was latching the suitcase up, Marlene asked, “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
“Of course it is, Mama. Why do you ask?”
Lifting herself up and planting her feet on the floor, Marlene looked her daughter in the eye and said, “You and your daddy got big dreams . . . bigger dreams than I’ve ever even thought of having. I’m not faulting you for that.” Marlene walked around the bed and put her hand on Shar’s arm. “But if all you got is dreams and your man done left with some other woman, then what do you really have to hold onto? I’m just worried that these big dreams your daddy’s got for you is gon’ cost you the love of a good man like Pastor Landon.”
Shar sat down on the bed, and her mother joined her. “Look at you and Daddy. He once told me that from the moment he laid eyes on you, nothing could stop him from making you his wife. Now if Landon feels that way about me, then he’ll be here when I get back, right?”
“A man has got his pride, whether he be a preacher or a janitor. You just remember that I told you that.”