11
Shar could hardly believe how things had changed. Ever since the night that Mahalia couldn’t make it to Tennessee, Shar had been leading Mr. Dorsey’s songs at every event. And then she would come out to the fellowship hall and sell the sheet music like nobody’s business. Shar was actually happy again and enjoying the tour as she hadn’t before. In truth, though, she didn’t think her newfound enjoyment had much to do with the fact that she was leading songs, but more to do with the fact that Nicoli was now on the tour and putting a smile on her face.
Shar turned from her seat in the choir stand and looked back to where Nicoli was standing, strumming his guitar and looking every bit like the music man he was born to be.
“If you don’t concentrate on this song and stop staring at that man, Mr. Dorsey is going to throw you out of the choir,” Emma Jean warned as she nudged Shar with her elbow.
They were singing “Old Ship of Zion.” Sallie was the lead on the song, so all Shar had to do was to sing the backup with the choir. It was one of those repetitive songs, so it wasn’t hard to keep track, even though her mind was somewhere else.
Sallie sang, “I got on board early one morning . . . I got on board.”
And then the choir sang, “It’s the old ship of Zion. It’s the old ship of Zion. It’s the old ship of Zion.”
Sallie sang, “I got on board early one morning . . . I got on board.”
And then the choir sang, “Ain’t no danger in the water. Ain’t no danger in the water. Ain’t no danger in the water.”
Mr. Dorsey banged on the piano and Nicoli played his guitar like a man with a story to tell, then Sallie took off. She talked to the audience, engaged them in the story while the congregation got happy. They stood up and clapped their hands. Shar forgot about everything but the anointing that was flowing through the room. She got so happy, she started shouting in the choir stand.
When service was over Shar found herself selling nothing but “Old Ship of Zion.” Sallie put her foot in that song, and Nicoli’s guitar-playing took it to another level. Musicians rushed to buy the sheet music because they thought they’d be able to recreate what just happened in service at their own church. But there was only one Sallie Martin. And there definitely was only one Nicoli James.
“How much longer do you have to sell this stuff?” Nicoli asked as he came up behind her.
Shar jumped. She hadn’t seen Nicoli and thought he was outside, doing whatever he did behind church buildings. “You scared me, you sneak.”
He grabbed her hand. “Go for a walk with me?” Nicoli asked.
“I can’t. I have to do my job.” Shar pulled her hand away and looked around the room, making sure that no one was watching them.
“From what I hear, they only pay you two dollars a week, while Sallie is already up to about ten dollars a week.”
“Sallie does a whole lot more for Mr. Dorsey than I do. I’m grateful that I am making anything at all. I need the money to send back to my parents.”
Nicoli’s eyes bugged out of his head as he asked, “You’re doing all this work and you don’t even get to keep the money?”
Shar shook her head as she turned to a customer and sold another copy of “Old Ship of Zion.” When she turned back to Nicoli she said, “My mama has tuberculosis. She needs medicine. What’s left over helps with the bills.”
“Nicoli James, if you don’t leave that gal alone so she can sell that sheet music, I’m gon’ skin you alive,” Sallie barked as she pulled Nicoli away from Shar.
Shar giggled as she watched Nicoli being hauled away by the very forceful Mrs. Sallie Martin. She then got back to the business of selling the sheet music. By the time she had finished and everyone had left the church, Shar had sold a hundred sheets of music. Seventy of those had been “Old Ship of Zion.”
When they arrived at the boardinghouse they were staying at for the night, the woman informed them that she only had two beds left. So, the women shared the beds, while the men were stuck sleeping on the bus. This was the part of touring that Shar didn’t like. The uncertainty of where she would lay her head made her ill at times. She knew for certain that if Nicoli hadn’t joined the tour when he had, she would have gone back home by now.
After dinner, Shar, Emma Jean, and a few other choir members sat in the parlor practicing some of their songs. When they finished practicing, everyone left the parlor except Shar, Geraldine, and Emma Jean. The three of them stayed so they could gossip and giggle.
In the midst of giggling over a crack Geraldine had made about Sallie Martin, Emma Jean spilled her lemonade on her blouse. She and Geraldine then went upstairs so that Emma Jean could change.
That’s when Nicoli approached Shar again and asked, “You want to take that walk now?”
“We don’t know anything about this area.”
“If you’ve seen one colored neighborhood, you’ve seen them all. And besides, I’m about to go crazy just sitting around here.”
Hesitantly, Shar said, “I don’t know. Mr. Dorsey don’t like for us to go off on our own.”
“Girl, you sound like a broken record. Every time I talk to you, you always telling me what Mr. Dorsey or Mrs. Sallie said.” He shook his head as if he was disappointed in her. “I’m gon’ have to leave you alone and find myself a real woman.” He started to walk away.
Shar put her hand on his shoulder. “Wait. Don’t be like that. I’m twenty years old, so I am a woman. I just don’t want to get into no trouble.”
“How you gon’ get in trouble when you’re with me?” As Nicoli said these words he puffed out his chest like he was a big bad kind of man that didn’t nobody mess with.
“Oh, so I guess you’re not afraid of nothing?” Emma Jean asked with challenge in her voice as she walked back into the room.
He turned to face her and said, “I’m not afraid of you.”
Emma Jean put her hands on her hips and let her backbone slip as she swayed her ample hips from side to side. “I don’t think you’re afraid of me at all, Nicoli James. You just don’t know how to handle a woman like me.”
What was Emma Jean doing? Shar watched the woman shamelessly flirt with Nicoli. She had half a mind to tell Emma Jean how ridiculous she looked, flirting with a man who wasn’t even thinking about her. But Shar glanced over at Nicoli, and he seemed more interested than she expected.
“Shar is the only scaredy cat in here. I’ve been trying to get her to take a walk with me, but she won’t do it.” Nicoli turned toward Shar as he asked Emma Jean, “What about you, Emma? Are you afraid to take a walk with me?”
Emma Jean strutted over to Nicoli and hooked her arm in his. “I sure am not. Let’s go.”
Shar hadn’t spoken to Nicoli or Emma Jean since the day they walked out of the boardinghouse together. But it wasn’t as if Emma Jean cared. She had been whispering behind Shar’s back all week, telling everybody about how she stole Nicoli away from Shar. Truth be told, Shar was mortified. Nicoli had taken her mind off of Landon and the fact that she hadn’t heard from him in over a month.
But now Nicoli had abandoned her, just like Landon had. Shar began to wonder if her lack of male companionship meant that something was wrong with her.
“Why in the world are you walking around here looking so down in the mouth?” Sallie asked Shar as they pulled up to the church they would be performing at that day. “You’ve been begging for your opportunity to lead some songs for over a year. Now that you’re leading songs, you seem just as miserable as you were before.”
Shar walked off the bus with Sallie. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Sallie. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Well, you better get it off your mind, if you want to keep leading these songs.”
“What does the way I’m feeling have to do with my singing?” Shar protested.
“These congregations we sing to ain’t no dummies. They can feel your mood. So, if you’re depressed while singing a praise song . . . instead of uplifting their spirits, you’re just going to depress the people. And if they’re depressed, they sure won’t be buying no sheet music.”
When Shar first began leading songs, the sheet music was selling like ice water on a hot summer day. But once Emma Jean started messing with her, Shar noticed that the sheet music for the songs she led hardly sold at all. She had lost her inspiration and that was all there was to it. As the choir members walked into the church, Shar hung back. “I need to go pray, Mrs. Sallie. I’ll catch up with you all in a minute.”
On the side of the church building, there was a concrete bench. Shar sat down on it and looked heavenward. She desperately needed to feel God’s love right here and right now. Landon Norstrom had given up on her, even though he’d pledged to love her for a lifetime. And more recently, Nicoli James had also walked away from her so that he could be with someone more adventurous. Shar just didn’t know what was wrong with her. Her mama and dad had always said that she was the prettiest girl this side of New Orleans, but maybe men needed more than a pretty face.
Shar just didn’t know what she was missing, or if she even needed to be concerned with stuff like that. So, with her head lifted she said, “Lord, I’m so confused. I feel like I’m letting You down. I’m supposed to be singing to glorify You, but I just keep thinking about my problems. I want things that I can’t have, and I just need to get over it and go sing with an uplifted heart.”
She took a deep breath as she tried to get her body to line up with what she knew was right. She was there to sing and to send money back home . . . not to go on walks and sit up all night talking her head off with some gorgeous guy who wasn’t thinking about her two minutes after he left her presence. “Thank you, Lord, for helping me see the light. I know what I have to do. So, I’m gon’ head on into this church to sing for Your glory.”
She stood up, and as she turned around to head inside the church, she came face to face with Nicoli James. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was back here,” she said as she stepped around him.
“I didn’t want to interrupt you. It seemed like you had a mighty powerful message to get to the Lord.”
Shar didn’t answer him. She hung her head and started walking.
Nicoli ran over to her, grabbed her arm, and turned her around. “Don’t be like that, Shar. You haven’t said a word to me all week and I miss the sound of your voice.”
“I don’t know why you’d be missing the sound of my voice when you’ve got Emma Jean whispering in your ear.” The minute Shar said those words she wanted to swallow them back. She sounded like a cackling hen, and no man liked that in a woman.
“I’m just friends with Emma Jean. But I was hoping for much more than that with you, Shar Gracey.” His hands traveled up her arm and back.
A sensation went up Shar’s spine that she’d never felt before. She instantly knew that no good would come from what she was feeling, so she snatched her arm away from Nicoli. “You’re a slick talker, Mr. James. But I know about men like you. You’re only after one thing.”
“You’re wrong about me, Shar. For years, I’ve been looking for one lady that I could give my all to. I thought you might be the one. But if you won’t even give me a chance . . . ” His words trailed off as if he’d run out of things to say at the mere thought of not being with Shar.
With hands on hips, Shar demanded, “How can I give you a chance when you running around here with Emma Jean?”
“I told you that I’m just friends with that girl. Emma Jean don’t mean nothing to me.”
She harrumphed. “Well, then maybe you ought to tell that to her. Because she thinks she’s something.” Shar pointed at the concrete bench she’d just been sitting on and said, “I just got finished praying to the good Lord, asking Him to help me forget about you, Nicoli James. So, that’s what I aim to do.” She turned and strutted away from him.
Shar was able to get in a few minutes of rehearsal before service began. Then she sat real still and listened to every word of the reverend’s message, hoping that he would have some words of wisdom that would cause her to stop thinking about Nicoli James. But the message that night had been about being a servant and allowing God to use the talents He’d blessed you with. She was already doing that, so Shar hadn’t seen where the preached word helped her much that night.
Not wanting to witness Emma Jean and Nicoli getting cozy in the back of the bus, Shar rushed to the bus before the other choir members walked out of the church and slid into a window seat directly behind the bus driver. She turned her head toward the window and kept her eyes on the church building. Shar wasn’t about to give Nicoli and Emma Jean the satisfaction of watching them get on the bus together.
As the people started getting on the bus, Shar didn’t turn around so she didn’t know who was on the bus yet. Then the driver yelled at someone. “Hey, are you coming with us or staying here?”
“I’m coming,” Shar heard Nicoli reply.
“Well, then get on the bus. We don’t have all day to wait on you.”
Shar kept her face toward the window as Nicoli got on the bus. Emma Jean was probably right behind him, or they might even be holding hands as they scooted their way down the
narrow aisle of the bus. No way was Shar going to watch that display.
She held her breath as someone walked up to her seat then sat down next to her. Shar couldn’t help herself. She turned to see who was in the seat next to her and saw that it was Nicoli.
The look on his face was sorrowful as he said, “I never should have took that walk with Emma Jean. I’m sorry, Shar. Can you give me another chance?”
Shar opened her mouth to give him another tongue-lashing. But as she gazed into those deep, dark, and beautiful black eyes of his, she found herself saying, “You better be for real this time. Do you hear me, Nicoli?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a mock salute. As the bus pulled off, Nicoli put his arm around Shar’s shoulder and leaned back into his seat.