22
Shar’s father was still too ill to have visitors, so Landon and Deacon Monroe stayed behind in the waiting area while Shar wheeled her mother in to see him. Shar wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be to see her father lying there connected to tubes and machines, and for how pale and thin he looked. Her father was her rock. He’d always seemed like the strongest man in the world to her . . . like John Henry, wielding his hammer down the railroad line, matching that big old machine, nail for nail, until he won the competition and then died with that hammer in his hand.
Johnny Gracey had always been big and powerful and could do anything but fail. That’s the way Shar had seen him since she was a little girl, beaming up at her hard-working daddy. But that day, no matter how she tried, she couldn’t compare Johnny Gracey to John Henry by any stretch of the imagination. That heart attack had severely weakened her father. But if she were to measure the depths of his fall, it was probably the constant worry and care for her mother that had taken its toll and robbed him of his vigor.
His eyes lifted slightly as Shar rolled her mother’s wheelchair next to his bed and Marlene reached out to put her hand on his arm.
“Hey, you two,” Johnny said with a groggy and tired sounding voice.
“Hey yourself.” Marlene smiled at her husband then added, “I don’t take kindly to you scaring me like this.”
“Daddy, I was so worried about you. All I could do was thank God that you are still here with us.”
His voice was low and lackluster as he told Shar, “You know I wasn’t gon’ leave you and your mom.” He then turned to Marlene and added, “Baby, I didn’t mean no harm. I want you to concentrate on getting better. So, don’t you dare start worrying about me.”
Marlene gently patted her husband’s arm. “I know you didn’t. I’ll try not to worry too much about you, if you stop worrying so much about me.”
Shar stood behind her mother’s chair, watching her parents. They had weathered many storms during their twenty-five-year marriage. But one thing remained constant and that was the love they felt for each another. Watching her mother and father interact, Shar thought about how harsh Nicoli had been with her. It was at that moment that she realized she had fallen for a man who was nothing like her father.
Nicoli wasn’t interested in working hard in order to take care of his family. He was always chasing sky-high dreams but was too busy drinking and gambling to fullfil any of ’em. She knew as sure as rain comes in the spring that she would have been miserable married to a man like Nicoli. How she wished she had waited for Landon. But why hadn’t Landon taken the time to write back to her when she was pouring her heart out to him?
He said that he’d written back to her, that he had responded to her letters. But why hadn’t she received any of his letters? Why didn’t she know that he still cared for her before she got herself mixed up with Nicoli? None of those questions mattered now. Shar was positive that Landon had moved on with his life and wasn’t in the least bit worried about her. She had to pick up the shards of her broken life and focus on helping her parents get well. Because as God was her witness, she was not about to let the only love she had left in this world leave her.
“Pastor Landon has invited me and Shar to stay at his house while he and some of the menfolk at the church work on our house,” Marlene said.
“Mighty nice of him,” was all Johnny said before he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.
“Well, you heard him, Mama. Daddy don’t have a problem with us accepting help from Pastor Landon. So let’s get on out of here and let Daddy get some rest.”
Marlene gave her sleeping husband a lingering smile. She then looked up at her daughter. “All right, let’s go.”
Shar leaned over and kissed her father on the forehead. “I’ll come back to see you tomorrow,” she whispered in his ear and then grabbed hold of the handles on her mother’s wheelchair and headed out of his room.
Landon stood as Shar guided her mother’s chair back to the waiting room. “How is he doing?”
“He’s tired, but I think he’s going to make it. At least he promised as much,” Shar said, while putting a brave smile on her face.
“Good.” Landon clasped his hands together. “Well, let’s get your mom to my house.”
When Landon put his hands over hers, Shar felt an emotional tidal wave run through her very being. She glanced up at him. His eyes were so loving and caring that she wanted to reach out to him. But she quickly reminded herself that Landon was not her husband, and after the mistakes she’d made, he probably never would be. So she removed her hands from the wheelchair and stepped aside. “Thank you.”
“No thanks needed. Just move out of the way so I can get Mrs. Marlene situated.”
Shar did as he requested, all the while thinking as she watched Landon handle her mother with such care and concern that this was a good man. Someone who would stick and stay even through the hard times. A man like her daddy. “But I have to thank you, Landon. There’s not a lot of men who would do what you’re doing for my mama.” Her voice broke as she continued. “I just want you to know that I’m mighty thankful and indebted to you.”
“You being back in town long enough to sing in our choir is thanks enough, as far as I’m concerned. The whole church has missed the sweet sound of your voice.”
Shar didn’t respond to that, but there was no way on God’s green earth that she was getting back in that choir, not after singing in nightclubs. She wasn’t Rosetta and could never pretend to be.
Once they were at the house, Marlene sat down on the bed and stretched out her hand to Shar. “Hand me my bag so I can change back into my nightgown.”
“I can help you, Mama. You don’t have to do this on your own.”
Marlene waved Shar away. “Hush, girl, I might be sick, but I can still dress and undress myself.”
“Okay,” Shar relented and handed her mother the bag. She then walked out of the room with Landon and Deacon Monroe.
Landon pointed to the room next door to Marlene’s. “You can sleep in there.”
Shar shook her head. “I can sleep with my mama. I don’t need my own room.”
“I have two bedrooms in this house, Shar. You can take my bedroom. I won’t be here anyway. I’m going to pack a few of my clothes and then head out of here.”
She nodded. Then said, “Take your time getting your stuff. I’m going to walk over to our house to get some of our things.”
Landon held out his hand. “If you give me the keys, I’ll pick up some things for you and your mom and bring them back tonight.”
She shook her head. “I can’t let you do all of that. You have already done so much for us. Don’t worry about doing this tonight, Pastor Landon. Just go on to Deacon Monroe’s house and get some rest. I’ll find a way to our house tomorrow and bring back the things that we need.” How could she run him all around town when she had treated him so shamelessly?
“No such thing, Sister Shar,” Monroe said. “Now you were out of sorts today at that hospital. And we know that you’re dealing with a mountain load right now with your ma and pa taking ill. So go on in there and sit with your mama while we go get your things.”
Sighing heavily, Shar’s shoulders slumped as she admitted what everyone else could already see. “I am awfully tired.”
Landon held out his hand again. “Give me the keys and I’ll go to the house and get your stuff.”
She had mixed feelings about leaning any further on Pastor Landon’s kindness, but she didn’t continue to argue with him at that time. She handed over the keys with a grateful heart and then went back to the bedroom and sat with her mother.
Marlene was already in her nightgown and just pulling up the covers over her shoulder as Shar sat down in the wooden chair next to her bed. “Deacon Monroe and Pastor left already?”
“Yeah, Pastor Landon and Deacon Monroe are going to the house to bring back some of our things.”
“That’s mighty nice of them.”
Nodding, Shar said, “I tried to talk them out of it . . . told them that I could just go over there tomorrow. But they wouldn’t hear of it.”
“Pastor Landon is a gentleman. He wouldn’t have you lugging all of our stuff over here by yourself.” Marlene was overtaken by another coughing fit. Shar ran and grabbed a glass of water. When the coughing subsided, she sipped the water and then smiled as she said, “Remember how I used to have you taking cakes and pies to Pastor Landon?”
“I remember, Mama.”
Getting comfortable as she laid her head on the soft pillow, Marlene said, “Why don’t you bake a lemon cake for Pastor. You know, to show him how much we appreciate him letting us stay in this warm, draft-free house of his.”
Her mama wasn’t fooling her one bit. She knew that the cake wasn’t just for no appreciation. Marlene Gracey wanted to showcase her daughter’s cooking skills to the most eligible bachelor in the Black Belt. They tried it once before, and Landon had come calling, even asking for her hand in marriage. But after what she’d done to him, Shar didn’t think a lemon cake would get him sweet on her again. To appease her mama, she said, “I’ll get down to the store in a couple of days to get the items needed for the cake.”
“Mmmh,” was all Marlene said as her eyelids began to close.
Shar watched her mama sink into the mattress. Her mama appeared to be at peace, so she decided it was time for her to find some peace with the situation also. Yes, she had lost the affection of the only man who truly cared for her and both of her parents had taken ill, but they were still alive. Shar decided to find hope in that. For now it was enough.
“Shar,” Marlene whispered her daughter’s name.
“Yes, Mama, do you need me to get something for you?”
“No, baby, I’m tired right now and just want to sleep. You go get yourself settled in the other room.”
“Okay, but I’ll leave my door open. So just holler if you need anything.”
Marlene smiled.
Standing, Shar prepared to leave, but Marlene reached out for her hand. The two women clasped hands, and Shar waited to see what her mother needed.
“I don’t want you fretting over me and your daddy. Let God’s will be done and then move on with your life. Whatever the outcome, promise me.”
What could she say to that? Would God’s will be what she wanted? Or would she be devastated by some outcome that she couldn’t even bring herself to think about? She was weak in these matters, but her mother was waiting for a response, so she simply nodded and left the room.