Later on, while Hannah and Dean argued over another game of pool, Suky and Imtiaz told me what they wanted. Grace was sitting right next to me and I could feel her thigh against mine. I could even smell the shampoo she had used on her hair. It felt kind of nice to be so close to her but then I began to wonder if my clothes smelled and I got all embarrassed and moved my leg.
‘You OK?’ asked Grace, looking worried.
‘Er . . . yeah – course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Just wondered,’ she told me, as Suky sat down.
‘Wondered what?’ she asked.
‘I was wondering what’s up with Jit,’ Grace told her. ‘He keeps trying to get away from me – I’m beginning to think that I smell . . .’
Not wanting her to think that, I told her that she smelled nice.
‘AHH!’ Suky said.
‘So what did you want?’ I asked her, changing the subject.
‘Oh right . . . that,’ she replied.
Imi came and sat down opposite us, as behind him, Hannah called Dean a rat. Suky looked at Imi and then back at me.
‘My mum and dad want to meet Imi,’ she said.
‘That’s lovely!’ answered Grace, looking really excited.
‘Not exactly,’ Imi told us.
I looked at him and knew what was up straight away.
‘It’s that Sikh–Muslim thing, innit?’ I said to him.
He nodded.
‘But what’s that got to do with the price of boiled tuna?’ asked Grace.
‘You what?’ replied Suky, looking confused.
‘Boiled tuna,’ repeated Grace. ‘Price of . . .’
Suky looked at her like she was mad. ‘Yeah . . . right . . . er . . . anyway . . .’ she began.
‘Suky ain’t told her parents that I’m Muslim,’ Imi admitted.
I shook my head.
‘Yeah, but how many Sikh lads are called Imtiaz?’ I asked. ‘They prob’ly worked it out from yer name, bro.’
Imi looked straight at Suky instead of answering. She started to go red.
‘I . . . er . . . well, I haven’t told them Imi’s name,’ she admitted.
Grace screwed up her nose. ‘So what do they think he’s called?’ she asked. ‘Do you just call him the boyfriend?’
‘Er . . .’ began Suky, only for Imi to take over.
‘That’s why we need you to do us a favour,’ he said to me.
‘Yeah, and what’s that exactly?’ I asked, getting suspicious.
Suky jumped in. ‘OK – we may as well tell you. I’m worried that my dad won’t like me going out with a Muslim boy so I told them that I was seeing a Sikh lad . . .’
‘Called Imtiaz?’ asked Grace.
Suky shook her head. ‘No – a boy, called Jit . . .’
For a split second what she said didn’t kick in but then it hit me.
‘YOU WHAT?’ I half shouted.
‘Er . . . sorry,’ replied Suky, looking embarrassed.
‘Yeah . . . sorry, bro,’ added Imtiaz.
I looked at Grace, who started to grin.
‘You told your dad that you were going out with Jit?’ she asked.
‘Er . . . yeah, I suppose I did,’ replied Suky.
‘JIT?’ repeated Grace.
‘Yeah – what’s the big deal?’ Suky asked, playing it cool.
‘The thing is . . . Suky’s parents are kind of chilled out about her havin’ a boyfriend,’ Imi told us.
‘They think it’s cute,’ said Suky, looking shamed.
‘So, anyway, they’re having a get-together next weekend and I’m . . . I mean you’re . . .’
I nearly dropped the glass of juice I was holding.
‘NAH . . . no way! I ain’t . . .’ I began, only Grace’s laughter stopped me.
‘It ain’t funny, Grace,’ I told her.
‘WHAT AIN’T?’ shouted Dean from behind us.
‘Jit . . . goin’ out with Suky,’ Grace managed to get out.
‘EH?’ replied Hannah, looking confused. ‘But I thought that Imi was going out with . . .’
Dean grinned at me. ‘Yes, bro! You is one dark horse!’
‘But I ain’t goin’ out with her,’ I protested. Well, I wasn’t. And I wouldn’t either.
‘It’s just one evening, Jit,’ said Suky. ‘Please . . .?’
I stood up and walked over to the pool table, leaning against it. They were all mad. All of them.
‘What happens if they invite me over again?’
‘We can cross that bridge when we get to it,’ argued Imi.
I shook my head. ‘I ain’t crossing no bridges, ain’t jumping off no cliffs and I ain’t pretendin’ to be you for Suky’s dad.’
‘And the rest of her family,’ said Imi. ‘There’s a load of aunts and uncles coming.’
‘Yeah, it’s my brother’s birthday party,’ Suky added.
‘It still ain’t happening,’ I told them.
Everyone was quiet by that point and they were all sitting down except for me. I waited for someone else to speak.
‘Well I don’t see what all the fuss is,’ said Hannah. ‘I mean – do you know that your dad won’t like Imtiaz, Suky?’
Suky didn’t say anything.
‘Well . . .?’ I added.
‘I just know, all right. It’s that whole religion thing. I mean, even if my dad was chilled about it, and he’s pretty cool – the rest of my family wouldn’t be happy.’
Grace put her hand up like she was at school and Dean saw her.
‘Yes, Miss Parkhurst – anything you’d like to say?’ he asked, in a deep voice.
‘Yes, sir . . . I was wondering why it was anyone else’s business,’ said Grace.
Suky sighed.
‘Look, it’s not the same for you,’ she told Grace. ‘This is one of those Asian tradition things . . . I don’t mean to be rude, Grace, but you just wouldn’t understand, OK?’
‘You’re not being rude,’ Grace told her. ‘You’re just assuming that your dad won’t like Imi because he’s Muslim – but what if you’re wrong?’
Suky shook her head. ‘I’m not,’ she said.
I looked at Dean, who shrugged. Something didn’t make sense to me and I said so.
‘Why don’t you just say that your boyfriend is away with his family?’ I asked.
‘Yeah – tell them Jit is in Birmingham or somewhere,’ said Dean.
‘Used that one already,’ he said.
‘Yeah, about six times,’ added Suky. ‘My dad thinks that I’ve made him up.’
‘But you have,’ said Dean. ‘You have made him up, Suky.’
‘Well,’ said Grace, grinning, ‘I think that Jit should do it – it’ll be funny!’
‘For you lot maybe,’ I said. ‘I still ain’t doin’ it.’
‘Please . . .’ begged Suky. ‘It’ll be OK . . . honest. It’s just one evening!’
‘Why should I?’ I asked them.
‘As a favour to your friends?’ suggested Hannah.
I glared at her. ‘What – you in on this too?’
Hannah shrugged. ‘I don’t see how one evening is gonna make a difference.’
I sighed. ‘What happens when they wanna see her boyfriend again?’
‘Oh yeah . . .’ agreed Dean.
‘See? Finally one of you is getting me.’
‘Or Imi could go as Jit?’ suggested Grace. ‘How are your family gonna know he isn’t called Jit?’
Suky shook her head.
‘They know him from school events,’ she told us. ‘They’ve met him loads of times.’
‘We’ve been through every option,’ said Imi, ‘and this is the only one.’
I stood where I was and shook my head over and over again.
‘I ain’t doing it,’ I told them.