The Early Morning Wake-up Call
It was predictable—like clockwork. Every morning at around 4:00 a.m. I would awaken from my sleep. Never sure why, and always lost in a fog of frustration and anger, I would stumble out of bed and head to the bathroom, or I would simply lie there, telling myself how tired I would be when my 7:00 a.m. alarm chimed. A storm of mixed emotions would ultimately form a massive tornado of anxiety within me.
I’m lost in thought about my never-ending to-do list. My body is tired, but my mind is racing; I can’t turn it off. “This is going to screw up my day. This is not normal. Something is wrong with me. I’m going to get sick. Why does this keep on happening? Maybe I should just drink less water before bed. How many hours of sleep have I gotten? Oh, no. I’m going to want to pass out by noon tomorrow if I don’t get enough sleep. Dang, I’ve got to go back to sleep. Shoot—I forgot to water the garden. Need to do that before heading to work. Oh, and then I’ve got to pay my credit card bill … if I don’t get that in by Tuesday, I’ll have to pay a late fee. And speaking of late, why the heck does the neighbor’s dog make such a racket so late at night? Boy, that really ticks me off! Back to my to-do list. Groceries—can’t forget to buy milk. Man, I just can’t shut this crazy mind down. How the heck am I ever going to get back to sleep? Maybe if I listen to the radio, it’ll quiet my mind. Hmmm, not working. Maybe if I … what if I … Grrrrr!”
Sound familiar? Your body is tired, and it is clearly telling you so, but your mind is racing a mile a minute. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t shut it down.
Perhaps You Experience the Opposite
Perhaps you are at the opposite end of the spectrum, where you experience the good night mind. You are wide awake and raring to go until late in the night (or often early the next morning). It may be difficult to turn your mind off in order to get to sleep. However, once you are asleep, you are like a lead weight. In the morning, sixteen alarms go off and you hear none of them. When you finally awaken, you are late for work. You feel exhausted, miserable, and uninterested in the day ahead.
Whether you consider yourself to be a morning or a night person, this syndrome doesn’t just happen during our sleep cycles. Whenever you find yourself trapped in a web of negative or worrisome thoughts that you can’t turn off, you are suffering. Often this crazy brain chatter happens at the most inopportune times—when you are stressed by a tight deadline and you are trying to finish a work project, when you are supposed to be compassionately listening to a friend in need, or when you simply have a moment to yourself and want to find a bit of peace and quiet. It is a menace. It is constant and seemingly uncontrollable.
The Good Morning Mind Shift
For several years, I found myself struggling with this cycle of incessant mind chatter. It kept me awake and anxious until one morning when I finally decided to acquiesce. I gave up, and instead of fighting the crazy monkey mind that would not stop chattering, I set an intention to do something different. I lay in bed and took a couple of deep, calming breaths. I thought, “I’m going to surrender. I am going to open my mind and heart right now and see where it takes me.” So I did, and with every inhale, I said the word “yes” to myself. With every exhale, I imagined a day ahead that would be easy, effortless, and filled with joy. I imagined myself being highly productive, enjoying what I was doing, and connecting with colleagues. I saw myself exercising, and my mouth watered as I imagined eating healthy, scrumptious meals. I saw myself having a delightfully delicious day. I shifted from a place of restlessness and resistance to a place of welcome. In doing so I discovered my Good Morning Mind.
As I practiced this technique, I soon found myself falling back to sleep. I would subsequently wake up feeling vitalized, refreshed, and enthusiastic about the day ahead.
Whether you find yourself in a similar situation or are unable to function because you always feel sleep-deprived, you can resolve it, not necessarily by shifting your sleep habits, but by changing your waking awareness and intentions.
Only the Beginning
This is not the end of the story. In fact, it’s really where it begins. Saying an unqualified “yes” became a practice that I wanted to expand throughout all aspects of my life. Little did I know that it would take me on a one-month adventure to India and back again. It also took me to a silent, ten-day vipassana retreat. There I meditated for twelve hours each day and explored the recesses of my mind. It provided me with insights that allowed me to see the truth behind my nightly disturbances. I learned that they extended far beyond nighttime into just about every area of my life.
My Good Morning Mind commitment led me on a journey towards deepening my relationship with myself. The more I explored, the more I realized that I was not who I thought that I was. I was lying to myself and to my Creator. I was manipulating myself and others in ways of which I was completely unaware. I was reactive more than proactive. I was believing I was a victim, both personally and in my career.
I also discovered that I was filled with self-contempt and my mind was fixed in a whirlwind of self-condemnation. I realized that I was labeling myself as the thoughts that I thought and the feelings that I felt. Sometimes I was the angry woman. Other times I was the dutiful and unappreciated employee, the shamed daughter, or the guilty and defective mother. As I continued to root the “yes” practices and intentions into my daily routine, the more I was led to the extraordinary world of deep self-discovery.
What the Good Morning Mind Can Experience
When I was in my early twenties, I realized that my deepest soul’s calling was to fall fully and madly in love with myself, and in doing so, to support others in falling in love with themselves. From an early age, I believed that at my center I was ugly and dark. I judged the heck out of myself and consequently those around me. The deeper I criticized myself, the more I hated myself, and the more I judged others. It became a growing cycle of contempt.
Once I started integrating the Good Morning Mind intentions and practices into my life, incremental shifts started to happen. Starting my day with an open-hearted “yes” gradually shifted my fear-based, self-loathing perceptions to more accepting and loving ones. Many aspects of my life began to change.
The angry, reactive pit in my stomach started to loosen. Not only was I able to see the part I played in the dramas of my life, but I was also able to feel much greater compassion towards myself and others. The heaviness of guilt and regret started to lift.
My relationship with myself became more authentic. I was able to look at the parts of myself that I was reluctant to see. As I did, layers and layers of who I thought I was were peeled away. I was left to discover who I really was beyond my human failings and foibles.
The world started opening up for me. Opportunities for travel, creative expressions, financial support, and career moves that were in alignment with my soul’s message would magically and delightfully appear. Synchronistic connections and prospects would unfold in response to the intentions I created. The blocks that were once in the way were lifted, and I was in sync with the flow of our benevolent and supportive universe.
As I became more present, my relationships flourished. I was able to be more of an active listener and connect with others on a deeper level. Inauthentic relationships revealed themselves to me, and I was able to put more time and energy into co-creative relationships that increased my energy and raised my consciousness.
I was able to get very clear about who I am and what I want. I felt less encumbered by the shaming “should” voice within me and more energized by the “yes” voice that had my best interest at heart. I learned to say a gentle, open-hearted “no” to others when a commitment did not energetically feed me. In doing so, I was able to maintain my dignity and self-love while honoring my own needs.
Now I experience a great deal more peace in my life. I am better able to choose my actions from a place of thoughtful proactivity over knee-jerk reactivity. I am less explosive and more level-headed. I can now grow calm and quiet in five minutes. That’s all it takes.
I feel the deepest appreciation for my life, to the point of experiencing causeless joy. At times my heart is overwhelmed with awe and gratitude to the point of uncontrollable laughter and tears. The more I am able to integrate the Good Morning Mind practices into my work life, the less I experience it as work. It is joyful creativity in action!
There is so much that I am excited to share with you in the pages ahead. What does it take to implement these habits into your work life? Strong, focused intentions, a deep commitment to inner integrity, and a willingness to say an emphatic “yes” to yourself!