PLACATE Fear
Expel constrictive mindsets, build security, and ignite creative genius.
There are only two choices in life: fear and love. When a business is built on love, nothing fearful can find its way in!
Although many are oblivious to it, fear is an integral part of the human condition. I believe that many, if not all, of us are here to discover just how fearful we are. In seeing the fear, we can dig deeper into our hearts and feel greater compassion for ourselves and others. In time, as we witness the fear without judgment, our faith in the benevolence of the universe grows, and the fear begins to dissipate.
Unless dealt with, fear restricts, constricts, and tightens the muscle of any business. In time that muscle will be pulled and compromised. Rooted in a scarcity mindset, it wreaks havoc in our lives when it is not recognized and channeled. As you commit to looking honestly within yourself, you might discover more fearfulness than you ever realized.
Perfectionism as Fear
Years ago I was asked to do a mundane task for a teacher I was assisting at my daughter’s school. She simply asked me to put notices in each of the children’s mailboxes.
I had previously set a very strong intention, asking the universe to reveal to me the ways in which I had been deceiving myself. I especially wanted to focus on fears, as I was acutely aware of how much they were running my life. While many friends and colleagues would consider me fairly brave, I knew otherwise.
Much to my shock, as I was placing the notices in each mail slot, I noted that my abdomen was tightening up. I stopped and took a couple of breaths, asking myself what it was about. The fearful perfectionist deep within me revealed itself to me: I feared missing one of the slots. I was shocked to realize that I could experience fear over such a mundane task. But instead of judging myself, I responded from a place of appreciation at the insight. It provided me with an opportunity to see just how fearfully I had been living my life.
Fear is often at the heart of all of our woes. Once we realize this, we can speak to the fear, calming it and cultivating compassion for it. In the end, seeing it and fully experiencing it without resistance will help to heal it.
As is evidenced by the realization I just shared, fear that may seem totally illogical can hide deep within us. Doing this Fear Inventory Profile will give you greater insight into how fearful you might be. For each of the questions below, choose the number that most closely aligns with your current situation (1 being “not at all” and 10 being “a great deal”).
1. Are you open to veering into new directions when called to do so?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
2. Do you welcome change and see it as a positive experience?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
3. Do you stay away from watching fearful or violent events in the media?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
4. In general, do you believe yourself and your family to be safe?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
5. Do you trust that your business is protected and that there is no need to fear that negative situations will take it from you?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
6. In general, do you believe that people are good?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
7. Do you believe that the universe has your back?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
8. Do you generally think positive thoughts throughout the day instead of brooding over negativity?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
9. Do you experience fear but move through it anyway (as opposed to being paralyzed by it)?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
10. Are you compassionate towards others when they are fearful?
1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10
If you scored between 76 and 100, congratulations! For the most part, you are aware of your fears and you don’t allow them to rule your life. Your self-awareness has served you and your business well. Continue to explore the ways in which fear has a hold on you. As you do, you will learn to see it for what it is and develop the faith that your life and your business are unfolding the way they should.
If you scored between 51 and 75, you are quite aware of your fears, and you are able to function at a fairly high level of calm and security. As you continue to explore how fear manifests in your life, simply witness without judgment. Take note of times when you judge others and their fears. The more critical you are of them, the more fearful you are.
If you scored between 26 and 50, you have done some work with your fears and have opened the portal to deeper exploration. Make a commitment to step into your fears. When confronted with fear, note it and then take some action on the task despite the fear. Doing so will build your business. As you cultivate more courage, you will trust yourself and the benevolence of the universe more.
If you scored between 10 and 25, you have a wonderful opportunity to explore your fears further. For the most part, they are keeping you from fully manifesting your desires and could be blocking more success. Don’t fear your fears. Step into them, noting that even tiny steps will eventually lead you to greater courage. Stay away from fear-inspiring media, and when you catch yourself experiencing fear, have a conversation with it and allow it to fully express itself. Doing so will provide you with greater insights and confidence.
Completing this profile will help you explore your fears and eventually embrace them. Unless you do so, fear will permeate your business and harm your decision making, your staff, and your exchanges with customers.
Many business owners believe that in order to run a successful business, you need to be a taskmaster with a firm grip on your staff. This is not the case. In fact it is counter to creating a thriving and lucrative work environment. If you hire the right staff and live by the tenets of the Good Morning Mind, you will create an environment of encouragement and positive expectations. You will discover that all of the cogs in the wheel of the business will work harmoniously to support it.
Fear-Based Trigger Situation
Annie worked part-time in the data preparation department of an international bank. She was a student. She was a go-getter and committed to doing her best, whatever the task. One of her jobs was to run a microfilming machine that took photos of credit card transaction forms. (This was long before the advent of the Internet, when we used to sign hard copy credit card forms that were then forwarded to the banks and filmed for recordkeeping.)
The task was very boring, and as Annie spent hours and hours sitting by the machine, she came up with some options that would speed up the process considerably. The standard routine was to stop the machine between each box, record numbers on the completed box, fill out the procedural tracking form, and then load the new box of forms onto the machine for processing. There would be about a five-minute delay between boxes. The entire process took twenty minutes per box. In order to quell her boredom and be more productive, Annie did not turn off the machine between boxes. She created a procedure where she could fulfil all tasks without doing so. By revising the procedure for a seven-hour shift, with each box taking only fifteen minutes to be filmed and processed, she was able to process seven additional boxes, for a total of twenty-eight. That’s a great deal of increased productivity.
The bank, which was very structured, required Annie to record her hours and the number of boxes completed. She was honest and fastidious in doing so, but one day she was approached by her supervisor, John, about her time tracking sheet.
The Ego’s Response
At the end of her shift, Annie submits her tracking sheet to John, who is sitting at his desk at the front of the data entry department. He does a quick review of it and then immediately starts the following conversation.
John: Annie, we need to discuss your tracking sheets. I believe that you have been lying on them for quite some time. As you know, the company doesn’t take lying lightly. (John immediately accuses Annie in front of her coworkers. He threatens her by stating that the company would not support the apparent lying.)
Annie: I wasn’t lying! What are you talking about? (Annie immediately gets defensive as she feels attacked.)
John: Let’s look at last Thursday’s sheet. According to your numbers, you finished microfilming twenty-one boxes during the seven-hour shift. That’s impossible! (Leaving no room for discussion, John attacks further.)
Annie: No, it’s not. I was honest, and I don’t appreciate being called a liar. I’ve been …
John: Let me finish, Annie. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to take this to higher management and see what they have to say. I know you’re obsessed with doing well, but lying about your productivity is taking it way too far! (John pulls rank and does not allow Annie to finish her statement. He criticizes her work ethic and again accuses her of lying.)
Annie: But I’ve found a new …
John: Annie, case closed. I’ve got way too much work to do, and I don’t have time to argue this with you. It’s all here in black-and-white. Higher management will be the judge. (John silences Annie and shames her by mentioning the workload that she is preventing him from completing. He escalates the situation without a two-way conversation with Annie).
John: Enough. I’ll call you once I’ve shown this to the department director. Now good night. (John silences Annie and abruptly ends the conversation.)
The Heart’s Response
John approaches Annie at the beginning of her next shift. He heads to the room where she is getting ready to start microfilming. He is calm, thoughtful, and deliberate in his tone.
John: Hey, Annie, how are you doing? (Annie is the only person in the room, so John is speaking to her in private.)
Annie: Good.
John: I know you just finished exams. How’s it all going? (John is warm and welcoming.)
Annie: Pretty good. I’m feeling quite confident about them.
John: Great! I know you’re a hard worker. Listen, I want to bring something to your attention. I’ve noted recently on your time tracking sheet that you’ve been averaging about twenty-one boxes of microfilming in a seven-hour shift. That’s pretty impressive. (John, giving Annie the benefit of the doubt, compliments her, setting her further at ease.)
John: I was wondering if you could explain to me how you manage to get so many boxes completed. (John continues to explore openly, without attacking or accusing Annie.)
Annie: Sure. I’m glad you asked. As you know, doing seven hours of microfilming can be pretty boring, so I’m always trying to find faster ways of doing things. I play a game where I work to beat the clock, so to say. (Annie, feeling safe and heard, shares her process with John.)
John: Sounds interesting. Tell me more!
Annie: Well, instead of stopping the machine between boxes, I keep it running and write out the number tracking and dispense the new boxes while the machine is in continuous motion.
John: Hmm. Can you show me how you do it? (John remains open and curious. He uses a calm and supportive tone of voice.)
Annie: Sure. I’d be glad to! (Annie proceeds to show John the technique that she uses.)
John: Wow, Annie. That’s pretty impressive! I see you working super hard—you have to in order to keep things moving without stopping. (John compliments and encourages Annie.)
Annie: I do, but to be honest with you, it keeps me from getting too bored.
John: I see. Do you think you could teach your coworkers your technique? (John encourages Annie further. Instead of crediting himself, he asks her to step into more of a leadership role by teaching coworkers.)
Annie: Sure. I’d love to!
John: Thanks, Annie, and keep up the outstanding work. You are a great asset to the team, and I look forward to hiring you full-time during Christmas holidays and summers. (John ends the conversation on a high note and lets Annie know that she is valued in the organization.)
Annie: Thanks, John. You know, I get paid double what most of my friends get paid, and I’m so grateful. This place is paying for my education.
This heart-based conversation uplifted both employees. John learned of Annie’s technique, and she felt validated. Annie was able to train her coworkers, and ultimately her technique saved the company a great deal of money. John submitted a bonus request at Christmas, and Annie received a nice check for her innovativeness. Had John chosen to lead the conversation with his ego, the company could have lost a top-notch employee and missed out on her valuable process.
John may have had an intrinsic knowing about Annie’s process. Whether he did or not, he would have deeply appreciated her initiative and would have let her know that her efforts were recognized. He may have noted the wounded part of her that was overzealous and potentially exhausting herself. He may have compassionately but pointedly coached her to observe the part of herself that needs to overachieve.
For her part, at a very young age, Annie may have had an opportunity to heal the perfectionistic aspect of herself that drove her to overachieve instead of accepting ease and effortlessness in her work.
Build a Fortress, and Armies Will Attack
There is a saying: “When you build a fortress, armies will attack.”
What does that mean? According to the law of attraction, when you expect and anticipate negativity, very often you draw it to you through your fear. If you believe that the world is a dangerous place, often you will experience it as such.
When I first arrived in Chicago, I heard all of the stories about the violence in the city, but after doing a lot of world travel, I learned to trust my personal danger radar and not focus on fear-based thinking. Once I got lost and found myself in a rundown part of town. I made no mind and had every intention of seeking out thoughtful people who could help me find my way home. I pulled over and asked a man who looked kind and approachable for directions. As expected, he knew his way around town and he set me on the right course home. When I arrived at home, I told my husband where I had gotten lost, and he gasped, “You stopped and asked for directions there? You are lucky you weren’t shot!”
To be clear, I am not suggesting that you put yourself, your staff, or your business in harm’s way. However, I am suggesting that what you focus your attention and energy on makes a difference.
Where You Build Security, Genius Follows
When you lead from the place of love, you build security among your employees. When they feel secure, their genius is ignited, innovation expands, and your business transforms vastly.
Consider the fearful stance. When you are in fear, the muscles in your body tighten and constrict, your heart beats more rapidly, and your adrenaline increases. You go into fight-or-flight mode. You expend a great deal of energy.
If you consider the stance of enthusiasm, you will note similar physiological traits. Here too your heart beats faster and your adrenaline increases, but your muscles don’t necessarily tighten; your energy is expansive, and not in any way constricted. You have taken the “fight” out of the fight-or-flight equation. When this is the case, energy is raised as opposed to depleted, allowing your heart and mind to soar. Your enthusiasm is a catalyst for invention and innovation. As ideas are shared and supported, more ideas come to mind, producing a positive chain reaction.
Producing from the Heart
The famous director James Cameron once said, “Fortune favors the prepared.” While I can’t agree more, I would extend that sentiment to read, “Fortune favors the prepared, and provides bonuses for the bold.”
As I previously mentioned, when I worked at Nightingale-Conant I was given free rein to complete my tasks as I saw fit. Throughout the many years there, I was never micromanaged or criticized for the unique way in which I went about my work. For many years I reported to Dan Strutzel, who was the vice president of publishing for the company. Dan was an exemplary leader and a joy to work with. I felt seen and appreciated by him, and I knew that he always had my back.
As an audiobook producer, I was responsible for writing outlines for the programs that I produced. I would build each session (or chapter) with a brief opening paragraph describing what would be covered, along with bullet point questions to ask the author. I would sit in the recording booth with the author and serve as the listener. Thus the recording was very fresh, in the moment and conversational. I would show them the outline, but I would also ask their permission to veer off of the outline into new territory if I felt compelled to do so. I would encourage the same of them. Thus, if a question, idea, or practical exercise arose that was not in the outline, we would run with it. To facilitate such flexibility, we both had to be fully present.
This bolder way of recording programs constantly fed us new ideas, techniques, and exercises that created a much better product.
Over a decade ago, I was privileged to record several audio programs with the late Dr. David Hawkins. He was an extraordinary man. During one of our first recordings, he invited his friend Niko to attend. Niko was a delightful man, and during one of the breaks, he shared a sacred Buddhist chant with us. The purity of his tone and his vocal resonance were remarkable. He created an energy that uplifted us all. At the end of the two-day session, I had an intuitive hit to pull Niko into the studio and record a session with him. I conducted an interview and recorded his divine chant.
Fast-forward over ten years, and I recently received a phone call from Niko. As is often the case, he had popped into my thoughts a couple of days before he called, so when he did, I was not surprised. He thanked me for recording him and told me that he had received millions of responses on social media. Since the recording, he has been requested to present at several events. He thanked me, saying that the recording changed his life.
Although my ego would love to take responsibility for the choice I made, I was not the instigator. There was a voice, I’ll call it, from within me that beckoned me to call him into the recording session. When you live in fear, either you don’t hear that voice or you choose to ignore it on the grounds that it doesn’t make logical sense. But I believe that innovation, creativity, and genius trump logic.
Next time you or your staff members get an intuitive hit, I encourage you to follow through on it. They come from Source and offer an outcome that far out-weighs our logical, predictable, and often fear-based plans.
In fact, I encourage you to conduct creative brainstorming meetings among all staff at least once a month. Once I wrote a study guide for a recording by innovation leader Doug Hall. At the time, he had a retreat center called the Eureka Ranch, where Fortune 500 CEOs and other thought leaders would go and literally play. From their playtime, these corporate leaders would come up with the most innovative, ingenious ideas. You don’t have to go to Eureka Ranch to encourage innovation in your business (although it’s on my bucket list to attend someday). Set an intention for joyful and playful collaboration in the workplace. Encourage innovation and out-of-the-box thinking from all of your staff, and watch as your business takes flight!
Build Security
Without security, our creativity hides in the closet of our subconscious, and all of the monsters of our youth come to life.
When I lived in Vancouver, I did some television work. The difference between mindsets at the various auditions was potent and palpable. When I auditioned for an “actor” role (five lines or less), the actors were intense and agitated and often displayed a great deal of fear. They were frantically preparing for their audition, running lines in their heads, asking other actors to read with them, and so on.
On the other hand, when I was called in for a “principal” role (six lines or more), the energy in the room was completely different. These more seasoned performers were not frantically preparing for their auditions. There was a sense of calm and confidence in the room. The actors were laughing and engaging with one another. Not one individual was frantically looking over his or her script, lost in a spiral of fear.
When I noted this distinction, I was at first surprised and then convinced: what separated the pros from the less experienced was calm and confidence. The pros were secure in their abilities and acted accordingly.
Security Trigger Situation
Garrett got a job as a learning and development specialist in a large corporation. Along with previous experience, he had additional skills that could enhance his position, if he was allowed to use them. He was given an assignment to create a presentation for the annual marketing division meeting, to which his department was reporting.
Being highly creative, Garrett decided to put together a video presentation instead of the usual twenty-minute slide presentation.
The Ego’s Response
Garrett works on the video without seeking approval from his manager, Justin. Justin drops by Garrett’s desk to check on him, as he often does, creating a feeling of uneasiness and distrust.
Justin: Hi, Garrett. What are you up to?
Garrett: Just working on the marketing presentation.
Justin: Interesting. That doesn’t look like a slide-show.
Garrett: Well, actually, I’m doing a short video. I thought it would be unique and a lot more fun. (Using bad judgment, Garrett starts his project without prior approval from his manager.)
Justin: Who do you think you are? You have no business doing this without running it by me. (Justin’s tone is immediately caustic, angry, and reactive.)
Garrett: I thought I’d put something together and surprise you with it. (This choice comes from fear or an ego-based objective.)
Justin: Surprise me? Since when do you behave like that in corporate America? This project is representing the entire department, and you have no business doing something different without my prior approval. Do you hear me? (Justin’s comments are angry, threatening, and accusatory.)
Garrett: Yes. Well, what do you want me to do now?
Justin: Scrap it and do as I asked.
Garrett: But I’ve already put hours of work into this!
Justin: Tough. You’ll just have to catch up on the slideshow, and by the way, you will have to do it on your own time. I’m not letting any of your other tasks suffer at the expense of this costly and obstinate choice you have made. (In his anger, Justin steps outside the lines of what is legally allowed in corporate America by demanding that Garrett work on a project outside of working hours. Justin’s ego has skewed his sense of right and wrong.)
This conversation was not fruitful. Clearly both parties behaved from the place of ego over heart-based directives. This perpetuates a sense of distrust, animosity, and resentment within the department.
Garrett goes to his manager’s office and approaches him with the idea.
Garrett: Hey, Justin. Do you have a minute? (Garrett respectfully asks Justin if he has the time for him. This shows regard and thoughtfulness.)
Justin: Sure. What’s up? (Justin is open and welcoming.)
Garrett: Before I get started on the marketing team presentation, I wanted to run an idea by you. (Garrett asks for permission. This show Justin that he respects him and wants his guidance and feedback.)
Justin: OK.
Garrett: So you know that in my last job I was in the video business?
Justin: Yes.
Garrett: Well, I don’t know if I made this clear to you, but I have done camera work, along with editing. Anyway, I had this really fun idea to produce a video for the meeting. It would be so different from the typical slideshow presentation, and it would also take some of the heat off of the team as presenters. (He lists the advantages to his new idea.)
Justin: Sounds like a possibility. Tell me more. How long would it take to create? How much manpower would it involve? What do you envision as the final product? (Justin shows interest. He then asks specific questions that would steer Garrett in the direction of more practical thinking.)
Garrett: Well, because it’s video, I’m not going to lie: it’ll take more time and manpower than a basic slideshow. That being said, though, I’m happy to work extra hours on my own time to do the editing. I thought we could create a video that highlights the job that our behind the scenes crew does—the cleaning staff, the kitchen staff, and others who work hard here without getting too much credit. (Garrett feels safe and tells Justin the truth—that it would take more time. His idea is altruistic, and he positions it as such.)
Justin: Sounds interesting, but how do you tie that into marketing? (Justin remains open.)
Garrett: Well, I thought it could start us all into a new mindset, where we honor those who don’t usually get noticed for their hard work. We would promote or market them, so to speak. We could create a presentation that highlights all the cogs in the wheel that keep this company on its successful path. We could start a new internal promotional campaign in the newsletter that showcases the work that all employees do—how each of us contributes to the success of the business in our own unique ways. It would create a positive buzz among staff and improve morale! (Garrett clearly states his case, integrating the marketing into staff satisfaction.)
Justin: What would you need from me and from the rest of the team? Because this is a departmentwide initiative, you would need input and buy-in from the whole gang. (Justin remains open and shows his support.)
Garrett: Well, I already mentioned it to team members just as a possibility. I made it clear, though, that we’d still need your blessing. (Garrett walks a fine line here by already having discussed the idea with his coworkers. That was not the optimum choice. However, he is clear to point out that he prefaced discussions with the caveat that he would need Justin’s approval.)
Justin: And?
Garrett: The gang was pretty excited. I could have them play various roles.
Justin: It might be fun if you created an old-fashioned sepia effect with the video. Like the silent movies. (Justin remains open and offers his own creative ideas. This encourages Garrett and builds upon his enthusiasm.)
Garrett: That’d be great. Then we could underscore it with music, so the team wouldn’t have to act out lines. What a great idea! So does that mean you’re game? (Garrett does not assume Justin has approved.)
Justin: Let’s have a department meeting on this to hash out the details. If all agree, then sure, why not! (Justin shows good management in suggesting that the entire team meet to discuss the idea.)
Garrett: Awesome!
Justin: I knew that we would eventually use some of the other talents and skills you brought along with you. (Justin compliments Garrett on his creativity and proactive choice. This allows Garrett and his coworkers room to explore innovative and new ideas.)
Garrett: Absolutely! Thanks so much for allowing me to express my creativity. I promise you won’t be disappointed. (Garrett expresses appreciation and commits to continued efforts.)
In this scenario, by choosing the “yes” stance of the Good Morning Mind, both Garrett and Justin created a win-win situation. In fact, Garrett’s video and concept were such a success that the company started a staff showcase, raising morale in the company. Had the egoic conversation ensued, the company would have lost a highly creative and out-of-the-box opportunity.
Embodying the witness-self, Justin would have encouraged innovation and creative freedom even more. In fact, noting Garrett’s propensity for video production, he might have provided him with other responsibilities that carved a path towards more creative enterprises. If he felt that the company was not a good match for Garrett, he might have even directed him to positions in other companies that were more of a match for his prowess.
Innovative Implementation Ideas
• Write a list of your current worries and fears about your business. Rate each fear on a scale from one to ten. Then coach yourself through the greatest fears (or have a reliable friend do so). Ask “What are you most afraid of?” “Could you survive the worst-case scenario?” “What might you do to alleviate this fear?”
• Make a list of all of the fears, big or small, that you have overcome in your life. Acknowledge yourself for having done so.
• Do an inventory of how often you bypass guiding messages from your intuition because they defy “logic.” Next time you get a hit to follow something, make a choice to do so, write it down, and note the outcome.
• Organize a monthly innovation brainstorming session with your staff. Allow staff members to plan the meeting and think of a fun theme. Then, without pressure, encourage play and see what new ideas arise.