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Habit 8

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NEUTRALIZE Negativity

Negativity feeds upon itself. The more negative you are, the more you will experience negativity in your life. When you are informed and set an intention for conscious communication, gossip and negative talk fall away, and you are left with a new growth, complete with the burgeoning buds of what could be.

One in four of your coworkers likely suffers from anxiety disorder or stress-related illness. It can be very difficult to remain neutral and avoid being pulled into the disharmony, but it is integral to your peace of mind. Neutralizing negativity is no easy feat and can take its toll if you don’t have enough knowledge and tools to do so. Being aware of your own inner triggers, along with consciously and strategically responding to the mental disorders of others, will ultimately provide you with a great deal more peace of mind.

Conscious Communication Profile

Conscious communication is one of the most powerful ways to shift your consciousness and shift the environment of your workplace. Learning just how conscious your communication style is (or is not) can give you greater clarity about how effective you are and how you might become more so. For each of the questions below, choose the number that most closely aligns with your current communication capabilities (1 being “not at all” and 10 being “a great deal”).

1. Do you find it easy to be present and listen attentively to others when they speak to you?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

2. Are you able to articulate your point of view easily and effortlessly?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

3. Are you able to listen to others without trying to “fix” them?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

4. Do you use language that is gentle, kind, and compassionate, even in heated conversations?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

5. Are you able to listen to others without being pulled into their feelings, especially when they are discouraged, angry, or sad?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

6. Can you express your feelings freely and honestly when angry or in a volatile situation?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

7. Do you feel understood and heard by others?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

8. When conversations are heated, are you able to listen to others without interrupting or defending yourself?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

9. Are you comfortable with silence in conversations?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

10. Are you able to use statements like “I feel” instead of attacking when your intentions or actions are being questioned?

1 — 2 — 3 — 4 — 5 — 6 — 7 — 8 — 9 — 10

If you scored between 76 and 100, congratulations! You have mastered conscious communication practices. Know that your sense of ease and presence during conversations has a healing effect on those who engage with you. You are a model of conscious conversation, and your efforts support others in learning to raise their consciousness when communicating. Continue to honor yourself and those around as you continue your journey towards greater understanding of yourself and those around you.

If you scored between 51 and 75, you are doing a terrific job of developing your conscious communication prowess. The more you are compassionate and comfortable with yourself, the more you will find yourself experiencing the same with others. Focus on the areas in which you scored yourself lower points in this survey and continue the wonderful work that you are already doing!

If you scored between 26 and 50, you have done some work towards conscious communication, but there is room for greater patience and understanding towards yourself and others. Try to stop and catch yourself when you are struggling or feeling defensive. Know that you are not alone and that even by responding to this profile, you are committing yourself to your own personal growth. Your efforts will show. First and foremost, have compassion on yourself and watch it blossom into greater intimacy and connections in your life.

If you scored between 10 and 25, while you have yet to fully develop your conscious communication skills, you have taken the first step. Start by taking small, incremental steps towards more consciousness. For example, for a week, observe the times when you are compelled to interrupt others while conversing. Another week, try to use “I feel” statements when you are feeling under the gun on a conversation. Then be sure to acknowledge yourself for your efforts. Doing so will accelerate your progress and encourage more intimacy in your communications.

Communication is key to success in life. Conscious, heart-centered communication can turn a sour situation into a win-win for all. Unconscious communication, on the other hand, can turn a potentially sweet situation into a raging disaster. The rule is to speak as you would like to be spoken to and listen as you would want to be heard.

Neutralizing Negativity Trigger Situation

Things were getting tense at the office. There were rumors that higher management was laying off staff. The staff were all working their tails off, with a sense that if they slowed down, they would be the first slab of beef on the cutting block. One morning Ruth was informed by a couple of colleagues that a fellow staff member, Joan, was bad-mouthing her to their new manager. Ruth was horrified. She had been working with Joan for a long time, and they had been through a lot together. She felt hurt and betrayed.

The Ego’s Response

Kate tells Ruth that Joan has been undermining her with the new boss.

Ruth (immediately reacting to Kate’s input): How dare she do that to me! I’ve actually been complimenting her work and talking her up to management. I can’t believe she’d do this, especially since she claims to be my friend. I’m gonna give her a piece of my mind! (Ruth heads over to Joan’s desk, feeling angry and reactive.) Joan, Kate just told me that you bad-mouthed me to the boss. What the hell? You are so two-faced.

Joan (also reactive and defensive): I don’t know what you are talking about. What did Kate say?

Ruth: She said that you told Sam that I was not holding my weight and that my work was shoddy.

Joan: Well, he asked. All I did was tell him the truth.

Ruth: The truth? You have no idea what I do. And why would he ask? You know, I am constantly supporting you and talking you up to management. No more! And all this time I thought you were my friend. From now on I’m gonna fight fire with fire. Just you wait, girlfriend!

Joan: Go ahead. You don’t scare me. Besides, I’ve beaten you to the punch.

Thereafter there would be a heavy, strained, and toxic environment throughout the department, especially between Joan and Ruth. Kate would also feel betrayed by Ruth, who had mentioned her in her conversation with Joan. Others would have heard the conversation and felt uneasy. The energy of the entire department would be affected. Like begets like. There would be further gossip and toxicity. There would be two warring factions, each trying to pull allies in from other staff members. Vying for the manager’s approval, Joan and Ruth would be one-upping each other at staff meetings. Whether they were aware of it or not, the entire department would be energetically drained in response to the toxicity of the situation.

The Heart’s Response

Kate tells Ruth about what Joan said. At first Ruth has an impulse to walk over to Joan and attack her lack of integrity, along with defending herself. However, she chooses to refrain and sleep on it.

The next morning, a little calmer, Ruth approaches Joan. She has spent the evening strategizing on how she will breach the subject and how she will conduct herself during the conversation.

Ruth: Good morning, Joan.

Joan: Good morning.

Ruth: Do you have a couple of minutes to chat?

Joan: Only a couple.

Ruth: This won’t take long. If it’s OK with you, I’d like to talk in private. Can we go out to the stairwell?

Joan: OK.

Ruth (once they are in the stairwell): Joan, I have a concern to discuss, but first, I want you to know that I appreciate and respect you. I think you are terrific at what you do, and while I can’t speak for you, I think that the feelings are mutual. Before we begin, I have a couple of requests. I’d appreciate it if we could each take turns speaking, committing to listening attentively to one another and making every effort not to interrupt the other person while speaking. I want you to know that I am committed to working through this situation, so that we both feel a sense of resolve. Is that OK with you?

Joan: Sure.

Ruth: I heard that you criticized my work to our new manager, Sam. I know we’ve been through a lot together. And I want to say that for my part in this, whatever it may be, I apologize. When I heard that you were criticizing me, I felt hurt and confused. Help me to understand. Is there something I did or said that instigated this? (Ruth was careful not to attack Joan, and was committed to being nonreactive. Her intention was to keep her heart open and to be present.)

Joan: Well, to tell you the truth, I heard that they would be laying someone off, and I’m afraid that it could be me. My husband is not working right now, and I am over sixty years of age. I can’t afford to lose my job.

Ruth: Joan, you are a rock star! There’s no way that Sam is going to lay you off! I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about. (Joan doesn’t know, and Ruth hasn’t told her, that on a couple of occasions Ruth had gone to management and told Sam what an awesome job Joan was doing.)

While Ruth left the conversation without an apology from Joan, she felt a sense of resolution. She did not go back to Sam to redeem herself, nor did she share their discussion with Kate or any other coworkers. In fact, she left the conversation feeling compassion for Joan. Her anger melted into a greater understanding of Joan’s situation and why she did what she did.

To recount, here are the strategic steps that Ruth took:

1.  She spoke with Joan alone and out of ear range of anyone.

2.  She started by sharing her intention to work the situation out.

3.  She committed to parameters in which she and Joan would take turns sharing perspectives without interruption from the other.

4.  She told Joan that she respected her and the work she did, and that she thought the feelings were mutual.

5.  She started her sharing with “I felt.” She searched beyond her initial anger and got in touch with the hurt she felt before meeting with Joan. She then honestly shared her feelings and stayed away from verbally attacking her.

6.  She actively listened without interrupting Joan.

7.  She encouraged Joan and worked towards quelling her concerns.

8.  She did not approach the manager afterwards to defend herself. Doing so would have perpetuated the toxicity of the situation. She trusted that her work would speak for itself.

The Witness-self’s Response

Kate tells Ruth about what Joan said. Ruth knows that something greater is at play. While she does not ignore Joan’s choice, she sees that she energetically plays a role in everything that occurs in her life. She knows that she attracts what she focuses on, and she is not a victim. She surrenders to the experience, without the need to react or respond. The ultimate worst-case outcome is that she is fired. If this happens, she has absolute faith that there are other vocations in store for her and that all will happen as it should. She trusts in this and looks forward to witnessing the next chapter of her life as it unfolds.

Tenets of Mindful Conflict Resolution

•  Insist on privacy when having potentially volatile conversations.

•  Set into your intentions the question, “How may I serve?”

•  Start the conversation with the intention of resolution.

•  Set parameters of the conversation before starting:

1.  An intention for resolution.

2.  We both have mutual respect for one another.

3.  We will each take turns speaking.

4.  When one speaks, the other focuses completely on them.

5.  No interruptions are permitted.

•  Speak using open-ended questions.

•  Avoid sarcasm and innuendo.

•  Give the other the benefit of the doubt.

•  Ask rather than tell.

•  Remain calm and avoid being reactive.

•  When necessary, repeat what you have heard to ensure accuracy.

•  Take turns speaking, both committing to fully listening to the other, as opposed to building one’s own case while the other is speaking.

•  When you feel fired up, ask yourself, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to choose love?”

•  To stay connected, look into the eyes of the other (especially the left eye).

•  Avoid shaming the other person.

•  Work from a place of compassion. How would you respond if the other were a child?

•  Think before you speak.

Befriending a Person You Abhor

In several instances, I have found that individuals who at first annoyed me could often be transformed into colleagues whom I deeply admire and appreciate.

There was one such woman at a particular job. She immediately turned me off. While I couldn’t place it specifically, there was something about her that I did not like.

When I started to look within, I discovered that I was jealous of her. She was highly skilled, creative, and charismatic. She was everything that I wanted to be (and, in my insecure self, believed that I was not). Once I realized this, I worked on changing my mind about her. At first I felt manipulative in our conversations. I would find something complimentary to say or would initiate some idle chitchat. In time, we built a strong friendship, and I was grateful that I was able to move past my jealousy.

Next time a colleague annoys you, ask yourself what in particular it is about them that does so. They may possess traits that you have disowned or disavowed in yourself. They may possess traits that you are jealous of, or very simply they just may not be your cup of tea. Whatever the case, reflect on your feelings. They might provide you with unexpected insights.

Toxic Coworkers

At times a staff member may be clearly toxic; no matter how hard you try, you are unable to make the relationship work in your organization. Unfortunately, we live in a world of lawsuits and liabilities. In such cases it is wise to do the following:

•  Keep clear and concise records of their behavior. Include dates, times, what was said, and the actions that were taken. If witnesses are present, make note of that as well. Provide the staff member with written notices, and be sure to have them sign them. Provide them with notifications, timelines, and a definite plan to improve their work efforts, making sure that they sign all notices and documents.

•  Listen to staff members, keeping abreast of the workplace from their perspective. They often can provide an early warning of toxicity.

•  Do not fire an employee until you have enough documentation to support your action. You want to ensure that you have enough evidence of their toxic behavior.

•  Ensure that the employee leaves the workplace immediately upon dismissal. A toxic exit drama would not be good for anyone.

Listen and Love

The more I committed to inner integrity and explored my neediness, the more I realized that I lacked active listening skills. Soon after I realized this, I received a wonderful gift. I became interested in producing when I was responsible for writing the audio book study guides. I attended the recording sessions to write the books, and in doing so, I discovered that I wanted to be a producer.

I approached the vice president and he told me that while he appreciated my interest, I was effective in my current position, and that was where he would like me to remain.

What happened next was remarkable. Within a couple of weeks, he called me back into his office and told me that there had been a change of plans and that they would like me to produce. I was overjoyed.

This was one of many synchronicities that I experienced as I became committed to becoming more intentional and mindful. Each time they occur, I am filled with delight and appreciation. They are gifts that feel so right and so miraculous. They touch the depth of my soul.

In the recording sessions, I noticed how different it was for the authors to be alone in a sound booth compared to speaking to thousands of conference attendees. I noted that the recording process could be extremely tiring, as they had to be highly focused and did not have the energetic exchange with an audience that would support them. So as a producer, I did the unthinkable. I sat in the recording booth with them.

At first the recording engineers were horrified: “You can’t go in there. You’ll make noise. You have to be absolutely still and not make a move or utter a word while the author is speaking.”

Despite the engineers’ trepidations, I joined the authors in the booth. I knew that I could energetically support them and be their responsive audience. I could also ask questions of them as they arose. In doing so, their recording would be much more conversational and engaging.

Thus my training in active learning began. I gave 100 percent of my attention to the speaker. If I started to look away to view the outline and find the next question in the queue, the author would feel it. It would distract them and impede the flow of the conversation. I learned to be present and trust that the perfect questions would arise when needed.

So in whatever way you can, I encourage you to practice active listening. While it can be very difficult to begin with, ultimately people will feel heard and understood in your presence. The deeper connections you make will prove to be invaluable.

Building Respectful Communication Parameters

I have belonged to the Shematrix women’s support group for several years. At first I found it intimidating, because there were very strict parameters around how we communicated with one another. Once I fully understood them, I was convinced that using those parameters in all conversations would enhance my relationships and build much stronger trust.

Here are the key parameters that I attempt to adhere to in all of my interactions:

•  Maintain eye contact when conversing. We often look away when ashamed, embarrassed, or speaking about a difficult topic. Eye contact supports deeper connection.

•  When referring to an experience, use “I” instead of “somebody” or “people.” When broaching a difficult topic, we often use third-person references. For example, instead of saying, “You know how people get angry when they are interrupted in a conversation?” you say, “I get angry when someone interrupts me during a conversation.” Own your discomfort. Speaking from the “I” perspective feels more vulnerable, but ultimately creates greater intimacy and connection.

•  When you refer to something someone else said to you, ask their permission before repeating it. For example, Suzy might have said, “I got really angry when my coworker John was patronizing me.” Instead of repeating what Suzy said, you ask her permission first: “Suzy, may I refer to what you’ve just shared?” This invites Suzy to say no if she doesn’t want her comment to be repeated. This commitment to integrity in conversation builds greater trust, as it curbs gossip and inaccurate hearsay. We often cite what others say because we feel insecure. Others can serve as scapegoats as opposed to owning our own feelings.

•  Do not analyze another’s situation. Simply be present and available to listen. Although this can be difficult, jumping into the role of caregiver can be an easy way to avoid dealing with your own feelings and problems. Often people do not have the know-how to advise others: they do more damage than good. To sit and simply witness another’s pain often does more for them that trying to fix them.

Another point: when we are uncomfortable with another’s tears, we may pat their back, encouraging them not to cry, or we hand them a tissue. These gestures are a distraction that reflects our own discomfort with the feelings being shared. Try to avoid doing so. Don’t tell them not to cry—this can be a shaming imposition. Sit in your discomfort and have the faith that by being present and actively listening, you are supporting them.

Shifting Negative Statements to Positive “Thank-You” Statements

I don’t believe that you should refrain from apologizing when you have made an error. In fact, it shows greater courage to own your choices and show compassion for the other person. However, because the word “sorry” connotes sorrow, you might want to replace it with “I apologize.” If you want to shift your verbiage into even more positive statements, here are some suggestions:

Negative Statement

Positive “Thank You” Statement

“I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Thank you for waiting for me.”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot attend.”

“Thank you for inviting me.”

“I’m sorry that I made a mistake.”

“Thank you for pointing out my error.”

“I’m sorry for being so long-winded.”

“Thank you for being such a thoughtful and attentive listener.”

“I’m sorry for being so needy lately.”

“Thank you for being there for me.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve been so unresponsive.”

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

“I’m sorry for shaming you.”

“Thank you for being a mirror to my own feelings of shame.”

“I’m sorry for being so angry.”

“Thank you accepting my outburst and not taking it personally.”

“I’m sorry for being emotional.”

“Thank you for accepting me.”

Effective Social Media Communication

While the majority of trigger situations that I shared have been in the form of one-on-one dialogues, I think it is important to discuss trigger situations in the form of email and social media chains. I don’t know how many times I have sent reactive emails that I should not have. The energy I was feeling was toxic and perpetuated a chain of ugly and often misconstrued communications. Usually the relationships found resolution once the two of us spoke in person. Sometimes seeing each other face-to-face is optimal. However, email and other social media are useful forms of communication that we are using more and more. Thus we need to take care when using these media. (When in doubt, I encourage you to pick up the phone or meet for a cup of tea and a chat.)

Emotional Email Trigger Situation

A voiceover actor was involved in a recording that had to be rushed in order to meet deadlines. Costs were high and mistakes were made.

The Ego’s Response

Jerry was the actor, Laura was the sound engineer, and Mike was the production company representative that hired Jerry and Laura. After the recording, Mike sent the attached email to Jerry:

Hi Jerry,

We had a little problem regarding your recording sessions. Both the recording and the number of hours it took to edit added up to much longer than it should have. Your engineer, Laura, said that you were correcting spelling and editing during the session.

Perhaps this was all too rushed and you didn’t have enough time to fully review the prior edits that we had made to the script. In future, we hope that will take the necessary time to review the script so that you can go into the studio better prepared. In the future, we also hope you will practice reading it out loud several times so the recording will go smoothly.

The reprimanding undercurrent of the email, while subtle, connotes a fear-based response to the situation. Engineer Laura’s bill was higher than Mike had anticipated, and he was reprimanding Jerry because he was feeling threatened himself. He copied the production company’s CEO on his reprimanding email as a means of protecting himself. Prior to the email Mike contacted the engineer, Laura, about her high fees. In turn, Laura felt threatened and proceeded to find ways to justify her editing fees, defending herself and making others (Jerry and the book editors) wrong—further creating a chain of fear-based, accusatory reactivity.

Jerry’s response (below) is also fear-based. He is defending himself and his position:

Good morning, Mike. I am upset by your email and do not appreciate the accusatory tone. I’m disappointed that you didn’t reach out to me prior to making the assumptions that you did.

I would like to make it clear that I reviewed each and every one of the proofreader’s edits. The corrections that I made during the recording were edits that were missed by the proofreader. In all honesty, it was very frustrating for me to have to stop the recordings over seventy times to make editing notes. Perhaps in future someone else could do a final once-over proofread. I agree with you in that I do not want to have to go through that again. But I was in no way at fault in failing to adequately review the script. Having to stop and start during the recording took way too long, and added a great deal more time to Laura’s edits. By the time the script reaches the recording studio, it should be performance/reader ready.

Given that your recording request was last-minute, I believe that I pulled it all together with very little forewarning, and should be credited rather than reprimanded. I had to make adjustments in order to fit the recording session into my schedule. For the next recording:

•  Have someone do a final proofreading scan before we record. I don’t claim to be a proofreader; I am an actor.

•  In future I will take the time to read the script aloud prior to recording. However, I want to emphasize that the quality of my reading was not the issue, and I take offense that it was raised as a reason for the slowdown and the additional costs incurred.

By following these suggestions, I believe costs will be substantially lower.

Note how lengthy and time-consuming Jerry’s response is. Because this communication chain is ego-and fear-based, the relationship has weakened, and it will take some energy, commitment, and time to rebuild it to one of trust and good will.

The Heart’s Response

Note the clarity, length, and energy of the two heart-based emails below. The tone of Mike’s email to Jerry is not defensive. It is open-hearted and non-reactive:

Hi Jerry,

Thank you for taking on this project at such late notice. We really appreciate your efforts! I wanted to ask you about the recording session. If I’m going to be really honest, I was surprised by Laura’s bill and want to see if there is some way that we can lower the bill for future recordings. I got Laura’s perspective, and I wanted to get yours as well.

Laura mentioned that you spent quite some time correcting grammar errors during the session. Is there a way that this might be rectified next time around?

I look forward to hearing your perspective. We want to make these recordings a win-win for all!

The tone of this heart-based email is inquisitive and supportive. Feeling supported, Jerry’s response is also heart-based. He is not feeling defensive, and his position is proactive as opposed to reactive:

Good morning, Mike. Thanks for checking in. The recording session was a challenge because of the time spent making textual corrections on the spot. It really slowed down the process, affected the flow, and created a great deal more editing challenges for Laura. While I thought the proofreader’s edits were terrific, there were several typos and edits I found during the recording session. For future recordings, I have three suggestions:

•  Perhaps a third eye to proof would help so that the script is reader-ready for the recording session. (I know someone who is extremely reasonable. Please let me know if you’d like to get her involved.)

•  While I don’t usually do so, I would be happy to do a read-through aloud prior to the session to further catch any missed edits.

•  As far as Laura’s bill is concerned, I’m sorry that it was higher than you anticipated. From her perspective, it is always difficult to estimate the anticipated hours, and the stops and starts for editing corrections really added to the editing time involved.

In all honesty, having to make the edits really slowed down the recording and affected the flow. I think that in future with an additional eye to scan the manuscript, we will not have issues. All the best and thanks for you supportive email! I too look forward to great success with the project.

Again, note the length of the emails when the conversation is heart-based. There is much more clarity and flow because the writers’ minds were not cluttered with fear or defensive thinking. The communication was proactive and supportive and reflects a higher consciousness. The relationship among all parties continues to flourish.

The Witness-self’s Response

This email communication would be similar to the heart-based communique, but there would be an element of complete ease, trust, and compassion energetically underlying the situation. There would be an element of both faith and gratitude, as opposed to the tension and anxiety displayed in the fear-based communication.

Tips for Conscious Communication in Email and Social Media

•  If you feel triggered and reactive, abstain from responding. Ideally wait until you are able to respond from a heart-centered place.

•  When responding, you may find it difficult to go directly to your heart. If you want to try, put your hands on your heart and take some deep breaths. Imagine your heart filling with compassionate, healing, white light. See that light starting at the core of your heart and radiating outwards. See the light filling every cell of your body, every thought and emotion. Then if possible, see the light permeating the person with whom you are triggered (often this may not be possible, and that’s OK). Say “yes” to healing the experience, and ask that the highest good of all be served in the situation. Set an intention to heal the situation and to respond from an open heart and mind. Ask Source or your highest self if there is anything you need to hear before responding. Then if and when you feel ready, respond.

•  Avoid using accusatory language. Go to your feelings and use “I” statements. For example, instead of using phrases like, “When you said X, you made me feel Y,” use phrases like, “I felt sad when …” or “I was disappointed when …” or “After reading your email, I felt …”

•  Avoid third-party references. For example, “Our friend M said that you have been talking about me behind my back.” Stay with the person you are engaging with. Bringing others into the scenario will escalate the toxicity, muddy the waters, and create more chaos and fear.

•  Read your email response aloud before sending it. Doing so will provide you with greater insight into the energy that you are transmitting.

•  I can’t emphasize enough how important it is, if your email is inflammatory, to sit on it for a while until you have calmed down. Don’t forget: it is a record of the exchange that cannot be erased. It cannot be undone.

•  With a social media chain that triggers you, these same suggestions apply. Before responding, you may want to ask yourself:

Is publicly expressing your opinion worth your energy?

Will your response elevate the conversation or add to a fear-based, ego-driven exchange?

Why do you feel the need to engage in the conversation? Go into any upset you feel as you read the trigger piece, and get clear about what upsets you. Instead of lashing out, look for the healing opportunity.

Is your contribution fear-based or love-based? If it is fear-based, will it truly be of service? What might happen if, instead of responding, you sit with the judgment that wells up inside of you? Might it be a healing opportunity?

Will your perspective help other onlookers to heal, or will it further perpetuate a negative communication chain?

Is your criticism perpetuating a cycle of prejudice and black-and-white thinking? Are you judging their judgments and hating their hatred? If so, might your time be better spent sending light to yourself and the other?

Owning your part in “dis-eased” communication is not simple, but it is a necessary step in your evolution. Imagine if world leaders and key business decision makers took more time being reflective and introspective and less time being reactive. If we all made raising our consciousness a priority over anything else, what a magical world this would be!