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“He’s not saying much,” I say, curling Jo’s fingers in my hand, not letting her go, too afraid that if I do, she’ll be gone forever this time. She doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, it would seem she’s getting comfort from my excessive affection toward her. “He’s ... distracted.”
I glance at Tanner who is sitting outside on the balcony, just staring. Tatum fell asleep an hour ago, when they all returned safely. Ethan went to the shower, quiet, and Tanner kind of ... just went outside. Whatever happened, it’s bothering him. I don’t know if I should push, or if I should just let him tell me.
I’ve never been so scared, as I was waiting for them to return, wondering what had happened. The police called a few times, and we gave them as much information as we could. They didn’t tell us much either, it’s like we’re sitting right out in the open and yet we’re in the dark. Pitch black darkness with no answers.
“Go and talk to him,” Jo encourages. “I’m exhausted anyway, I need sleep.”
“Have you called Pat?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “No, no, I haven’t, and I don’t even know if I will. I think ... I think I’m done, Callie.”
I squeeze her hand. “It’s about damn time.”
She smiles and stands. “Thank you, for finding us.”
“Thank you for coming back to me.”
She nods, her eyes a little distant, and then she whispers, “I’m sorry, for the fight we had before you got shot. I feel terrible, it was ...”
“It’s over with,” I say to her, cutting her off. “We’ve been through a lot, Jo, it’s bound to happen occasionally. Please, don’t worry about it. Go and get some rest, we’ll talk more in the morning.”
She nods and then disappears into the bedroom. I glance back out at Tanner, and I wonder what he’s thinking. I stand and walk out quietly, finding a seat and dragging it over, sitting beside him. I look to him and say, carefully, “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“It was a set up,” he murmurs, his voice low.
“I know.”
“The cops got him, he’ll go away, but if they don’t find anythin', which there is a chance they won’t, it won’t be for long. He’s smart, really fuckin’ smart, he likely knew they’d be comin' for him and tied all his lose ends.”
“I’m sure they’ll find something, and he’ll stay away ...”
“They shouldn’t have called the cops, doing that started a war.”
“How so?” I whisper. “They’re locked away, Tanner. They can’t do anything.”
He laughs, bitterly. “You’re naïve, Callie. For someone who has been behind bars.”
That feels a little like a slap to the face, and in a sharp voice, I growl, “What happened out there? Instead of insulting me, maybe you’ll try telling me.”
He looks over to me, his eyes locking onto mine. “Not insultin' you at all. I’m pointin' out the obvious. You’re all thinkin’ it’s over, but it’s only just beginning.”
“How?” I grind out, frustrated.
He’s not explaining himself; he’s talking in riddles.
“When they were lockin' him up, he told me he’s comin' for us when he’s out, and he’ll make us wish we were never born. I take a threat like that seriously, men like him don’t just roll over when someone does what we just did, they come back harder, stronger, and I have no doubt he’ll make us wish we were never born. If you all had let me take care of him, this wouldn’t be happenin'.”
I blink, confused.
I didn’t think of that.
I don’t know why.
I guess the naïve part of me did believe it was over if they got locked up, but Tanner is right, men like that don’t just lie down and take something like what we did, they get revenge, and that revenge is usually bloody and graphic.
“We’re not safe,” I say, and it’s not a question, it’s reality.
“No, we’re not fuckin’ safe. For now, we are, dependin' how long he gets, but when he gets out, he’ll come after us. All of us, not just me, and he’ll make us wish we took another path.”
I close my eyes, exhaling. “Have you talked to Tatum about this?”
“No, haven’t spoken to anyone. What the fuck are they goin’ to do about it?”
“I don’t know, have him hit in prison?”
Tanner does that chuckle again. “Once again, if only it were that easy. He’ll make sure he’s covered, in case that happens, he’s clever.”
Of course.
“What about if we change our names and start somewhere new. All of us...”
“You’re goin’ to ask everyone to change their lives, move away from those they love? I doubt it. Even then, you think they won’t go after our families until they find us? He knows who we are. He knows everything there is to know. We don’t run from this, Callie, we have to wait, and we have to face it.”
I exhale and put my head in my hands.
Just when I thought it was over.
Just when I thought I might finally be free.
Just when I thought I could finally breathe.
Just when I thought it would all be okay.
I find out it won’t be.
It’s so far from okay.
It’s all starting again, only this time it feels much, much worse.
Damn you, Fate.
You sadistic bitch.
~*~*~*~
I STARE OUT THE WINDOW of the truck as it moves down the highway, all of us sitting in dead silence. I thought this trip home would be filled with the sensation of freedom, but it’s filled with nothing but fear, and guilt, and regret. It’s filled with the unknown. I was meant to be bringing Chase back to face his actions, and I am doing that, only I’m bringing back so much more, too.
Chase is coming back with us, after spending a week in the hospital. He’s doing better, and much to his dismay, is coming back to tell the truth. It seems ... I don’t know, empty now. Like it no longer matters the way it used to. We thought it would let Celia rest, but instead her demons are going to chase us down until they finally meet with us again.
We don’t know when that will be.
All we know is that it’ll happen, and it’ll change our lives.
I haven’t spoken much to Chase. Mostly, we make eye contact and so many unspoken words pass between us. Everything else has been so hectic, it has been hard to find the right time to sit with him and ask the million questions I want to ask. He avoids me if we’re ever alone together, and I get it.
I do.
I’d be scared, too.
He’s riding with Tatum, mostly because Tanner stares at him like he wants to rip his throat out. He blames Chase, for all of this, and he wouldn’t be wrong. If Chase didn’t do what he did, none of us would be in this mess right now. We wouldn’t be wondering when a fucking gang is going to come and seek their revenge.
We’d be free.
God only knows where we’d be, probably happy, with Celia still alive and everyone having never met and never gone through this.
I glance at Tanner
He’s staring out the window, not saying anything, I mean, what is there to say, after all? We’ve all spoken until there are no more words to speak. We all know the fate that awaits us. It could be years, months—either way we’re going to have a war on our hands soon that we’re unlikely to be able to fight. That’s terrifying. On so many levels.
“Are you okay?” I ask him.
He shrugs, his big shoulders rising and falling. I glance back at Ethan, who is asleep in the back seat, his hands resting beneath his cheek. Poor Ethan didn’t deserve to be dragged into all of this. He has a good career, a good job, this isn’t the kind of thing he should be putting up with.
“Are you thinking about what’s going to happen when he gets out of prison?” I ask, even though it’s pretty clear Tanner doesn’t seem to want to talk.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice low. “Thinkin’ about how the fuck we’re gettin’ out of this with our lives in check. It’ll end in blood, and I don’t like blood. I’d rather have clean fuckin’ hands. Could have done this smarter, but we didn’t, and now we’re all fucked.”
I swallow and nod, looking out the window. “Maybe there will be a way to hide, I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
My idea is pitiful, at best. I know there is no hiding, and even if we did, they’d track down our families and get us out of hiding really, really quickly. Especially considering they’ve got revenge in their minds. They know that we know, they’re not going to forget that anytime soon.
“Already told you there is no way of hiding. We gotta face this, I’m just tryin’ to figure out the safest way to do that.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, my smile weak and pathetic. “If it wasn’t for me, none of this would be happening.”
“Wrong,” he says, his voice hard. “If it wasn’t for Chase, none of this would be happening. I’d love to serve him up to them, make a deal, finish this once and for all, but Tatum will never let that happen.”
“You can’t expect him to want to give up his brother, you wouldn’t—”
Tanner’s jaw ticks. “Never said I did expect that from him, but Chase should be the one who takes the blunt end of this, considerin’ he’s the one who got Celia killed.”
Celia.
Her name still brings prickles to my skin.
“All I wanted was for Celia to rest in peace, the way she should. I never wanted any of this.”
“Can’t always get what we want, Callie. Things always go south, gotta know that by now. In the end, though, we’ll get what Celia deserves, we just have to take the long way around to get it.”
The really fucking long way.
“What do you think is going to happen when we get back home?” I ask.
He laughs, bitterly.
“You think we’ve got a war with that gang, then you haven’t yet faced a family who has been hurting for so many fuckin’ years, who are about to find out not only is the girl who hit their daughter coming, but the man who made her want to die in the first place.”
My stomach twists, a violent, angry feeling deep inside.
They’re going to hate me.
They’re going to hate Chase even more.
And why shouldn’t they?
Why the hell shouldn’t they?