| |
“Of course,” I tell Callie, organizing my ink for the day in little bottles, preparing my gun for my first official customer.
Alarick was pleased with my results on the piece he gave me, and he told me I can officially work full time under him. I was so excited I wanted to hug him, but of course I didn’t because, man, that would have been awkward. Still, it’s everything I ever wanted. Well, not what I always wanted, hell I never even thought my drawing skills would get me anywhere, let alone here, but life has a way of taking you somewhere you never expected.
“Thank you so much, that’s amazing. You won’t get into trouble?”
I shake my head. “No, you’re paying, it doesn’t matter who you’re paying for. I have space this afternoon, if you have something in mind you’d like for him.”
Callie frowns, and her face is super swollen today. When I found out what happened to her, I freaked out. She assured me she was fine, but dammit, they’re getting too close. The men decided they’d stay with us even during work now. Though, Alarick agreed when I’m here, he’ll have someone with me at all times. So it’s mostly when we’re at home, or out and about. Tanner is going to drop Callie off to work and pick her up, walking her in and out. She’s safe while she’s in there.
Things are getting ... heated, so to speak.
“I don’t really know what to get him, that’s the thing. Obviously, I want something to do with Celia, because it’s her birthday today, I just don’t know what.”
“Leave it with me, I’ll come up with something amazing before you bring him in.”
She’s paying for Tanner to get a tattoo of Celia, to mark her birthday, but also so he can have something on him at all times that memorializes his sister. It’s a great idea, I only hope it’ll go down well and he’ll see that she has good intentions. The tension between the two of them is probably stronger than the tension between Tatum and myself, and that’s saying something.
“Thank you so much for this. There’s something else I want to do for him, though I don’t know if he’s going to be okay with it. Still, he can’t hate me any more than he already does, right?”
I smile at her, feeling bad because I know it’s killing her. I know seeing him with Madeline kills her. I know it all bothers her, but she’s keeping a straight face about it all, hiding it well. I’m her best friend, though; I have seen the worst of her so I know when she’s hanging onto pain and trying to cover it up.
“You’re doing the right thing, not reacting to all of this,” I tell her, lining my chair with plastic for sanitary reasons. “I know it’s hurting you.”
“Yeah,” she exhales, “it’s not easy. Seeing him with Madeline. Last night, after he helped me out, I had to go out and sit with them to eat dinner. His hand kept rubbing up and down her leg and ...”
Her voice trails off and her face pinches. I stop what I’m doing and give her a look that tells her I understand, I really do. I couldn’t imagine anything worse. That feeling would be all-consuming, and I know she’s dealt with enough in her life. She deserves happiness, but it seems wherever she goes, she can’t seem to find it.
“It’ll be over soon,” I say gently.
“What if he’s making love to her in that bed? Some nights I lay there, when the house is silent, and I think about it. I listen, to see if I can hear it, and then I feel so stupid for letting myself be so pathetic. It’s just so hard. Knowing they’re in there together. It hurts.”
“You’re more than welcome to come and get into my bed anytime,” I tell her. “If it becomes too much. I mean, you have to put up with Tatum and Ethan, but that’s not as bad as Tanner and Madeline.”
Callie exhales. “Yeah, Ethan. I want to talk to him but every time we’re in the same room, he just leaves or avoids me. He’s hurt, probably the most, considering everything we’ve been through. I don’t know how to talk to him, or how to get him to listen.”
“Tie him up, I think that’s your best option,” I say, and I hear her chuckle.
“It’s not a bad idea.”
“Seriously, though, just demand to talk to him. He’ll hear you out. Remind him that he fucked up once, and you heard him out. He owes you the same.”
She grins. “You’re brutal, but I love it.”
I shrug. “I’m tired of not saying it how it is. It’s time we all got it out in the open, even if it’s the last time we’re all together.”
The idea of that hurts, I won’t lie. It cuts me, right to my core. Even though there is so much tension around, being around all of them again, having us all together, it feels good. So fucking good. I’ve missed it more than I realized. The idea of them leaving once this is done and us never seeing them again really bothers me.
I just don’t know what to do about it at this point.
“Yeah,” Callie murmurs, no doubt having the same thought as me. “You know what, I think we need a break. Come over to my place tomorrow night, after work, and we’ll have a few drinks. Just me and you. We’ll lock the rest of the world out.”
I nod, grinning. “Sounds good to me.”
“Okay, well, I’ll get Tanner in here. I’ll see you later?”
“See you, honey.”
When she’s gone, I busy myself preparing my station and then doing a few small client tattoos that come in, like butterflies and flowers. When I’ve finished up the last one for a few hours, I clean up and look over to Alarick, who came in not long after Callie left. He’s been doing a huge back piece and hasn’t stopped. He must be exhausted.
“I’m going to grab a coffee and some lunch,” I say to him. “You want?”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, his arm flexing as he keeps shading.
“Okay.”
I walk out and to the café which is only next door. It’s super convenient, especially on busy days. We can grab our coffees and lunch, or even breakfast. Occasionally dinner if there is a big job in. It’s handy, and it’s right there, so I figure it’s safe enough to walk just next door. I can still see the shop window standing out front of the café.
I’m wrong. Of course.
The moment I reach the café, a hand curls around my arm and I’m jerked to the side of the building so quickly I can’t even scream. My body is slammed against the wall and a hand clamps over my mouth. A man I’ve never seen before is standing in front of me, wearing a dark hoodie and sunglasses so I can’t see his face. A gun is pressed to my belly, and his other hand is covering my mouth.
“Don’t fuckin’ move.”
Oh god.
Are they watching this closely that they jumped on the chance for me to take one step out and they’re on me?
I’m scared. I can’t fight, because if I do, he’s just as likely to shoot me and walk away, leaving me here in the hustle and bustle to be found, dead on the street. He’s got me at a disadvantage, and he knows it.
My heart starts to race, and my palms sweat as I realize that I’m screwed. He’s going to walk out of here with me and nobody will know. Well, Alarick will know a few minutes after I’m gone, but it’ll be too late by then.
God dammit.
Why is this happening?
“Fuckin’ step away from her, or I’ll blow your fuckin’ brains all over this pathway.”
Alarick’s voice has us both whipping our heads around to see him standing at the end of the building, gun pointed right at the other guy’s head, eyes fierce and angry. The guy hesitates, for a brief second, and then lets me go and runs, just like he did when he got busted with Callie. Whoever it is that has the crappy job of getting hold of us apparently isn’t that good at it.
“You okay?” Alarick asks, walking over and doing a quick once over of me.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice shaky. “He came out of nowhere.”
“Worse than I thought, these guys want you and they’re gettin’ ballsy in their attempts.”
“H-h-h-how did you know he took me?” I ask, my voice still shaking.
“As soon as you walked out, I remembered I promised Tatum I’d watch you. Figured I’d come and check, lucky for you I did.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, taking a step in his direction on trembling legs.
“No problem. Goin’ to have to get more eyes on the place. I’ll work it out. Let’s get back to work.”
We both walk back to the shop, abandoning our lunch, and Alarick peers around as we move, his eyes scanning over everything, every car, every person, every shop. He’s looking for them, but I don’t think he’s going to find them, hell, we don’t even know who we’re looking for at this point.
We don’t know what his men look like.
“Goin’ to call my brothers around here, get them to check things out,” he says sitting down and getting back to the tattoo he was doing before he came to save my ass. “Get a watch put on you, extra security.”
“I just ...” I say, hesitating as I sit on my chair. “I don’t get it.”
“Not up to you to get it. Those men are on a mission and they’re goin’ to complete that mission to make a point.”
“Because we went to the cops?”
Alarick nods, starting up his gun and getting back to work. “Let me explain somethin’ to you. Men like that, they have a reputation to uphold. Know, because I’ve been there, I am there. You bring a group like that down, and they let you get away with it, people notice. They let you go, they start openin’ the doors to everyone messin’ with them. No, they need to make a point, and that point is that nobody fucks with them.”
Makes sense.
It really does.
“How do we get out of it then, if they’re not going to ever let it go?”
Alarick pauses and looks up at me. His look says everything. He doesn’t need to say the words, he doesn’t need to explain any further, I know exactly what his look is saying.
The only way to get out of it ...
Is to kill them.
~*~*~*~
“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE doin’ here?” Tanner asks, pulling his shirt up and over his head, and then lying on the table, facing me, his big chest on display.
I can see why Callie finds it so hard not to stare at him, to be obsessed with him, to want him the way she does. He’s gorgeous, but not only that, he’s masculine and he’s strong. He’s a powerful man, and he knows it. He carries it with pride.
“Yes,” I say to him. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Callie wants me to have it.”
“It’s not Callie’s body,” I say, wiping the blank spot over his heart where I’m going to put the tattoo I designed.
“Never thought to get somethin’ for Celia, I’m not against it.”
“Good, because once it’s on here, it isn’t coming off. Do you want to see it?”
He shakes his head. “No, this is her thing. Let her do it.”
I place the template on and transfer the ink onto his skin, giving me a clear outline of the gorgeous design with Celia’s name in it. I made this one more masculine, incorporating a cross, and some unique patterns. It’s really great, and I’m super proud of it. I know it meant a lot to Callie to get this done for Tanner.
“I didn’t think you would let her do it,” I say, waving my hand over his chest to dry the ink so I can get started.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, his eyes meeting mine for a moment before going back to stare at the pictures on the walls that line the entire shop.
Pictures of ink, and designs, and certificates.
“You know why,” I say, loading my tattoo gun. “You two aren’t exactly seeing eye to eye.”
“Do you expect that we would?”
I shake my head. “No, no I don’t expect that. I know you’re angry at her, but that’s because you don’t understand her. Not really. She did what she had to do. You have no idea what it’s like to live Callie’s life.”
“Enlighten me,” he murmurs, putting his hands by his side as I start the gun up, dipping it in ink.
I bring it to his skin, leaning against him, feeling like I’m getting way too close for comfort with someone that means so much to Callie, but I don’t really have a choice.
“She never lived. What happened with Celia happened at such a young age. She never got to experience life, or fun, or parties, or boys, or anything that we all got to enjoy growing up. She lived with pain, and trauma, and then she got out and found more pain, and more trauma. She trusted people, and those people broke her, yet she still stuck around, she still wanted to fix things. You need to understand what that’s like. To live with those feelings every single day.”
“She didn’t have to leave without sayin’ goodbye.”
“No,” I say, steadying my hand to do the outline, “she didn’t. But she was scared. Her whole world was spinning. Imagine, please, for one second, that you’re her. She wanted to be with you, but she knew your family would never accept her. She knew you would never accept her. She was afraid and she was confused. She ran, and she shouldn’t have done that, but if you can honestly say you don’t understand it, then you’re lying to yourself.”
He goes silent for a moment, then says, “It fuckin’ broke me. Do you understand? It broke me when I realized she was gone. Everythin’ that had happened, and she left it all hanging, with no closure. I know what I did to her, I know what she lived through, I just didn’t expect her to leave without telling me.”
“She made a mistake, Tanner. We’re humans, we all make them. She just needed to breathe again, to have fun, to live. God, the girl has never even been on a real date with someone she loves, she’s never been on a vacation, never ridden on a horse or surfed waves, she’s never been hiking or to a drive in. Don’t you understand? She has never been free. Never.”
“Is she free now?” Tanner asks.
I shake my head. “No, she’s not. She was finally getting somewhere, but now this has come along. She still doesn’t know how to breathe, and she deserves to.”
“She’s got a boyfriend?”
“Jake? No. He’s not. She’s seeing him, but ...”
I trail off, not sure I should go on. Callie trusts me, and I don’t want to break her trust, but at the same time I don’t want her ruining the rest of her life by not being honest with herself, or those around her. She’s in love with Tanner, every single time she looks at him, her eyes change, her face changes, and I know her heart belongs to him, even if it is complicated.
“But what?” Tanner urges, when I don’t go on.
“But her heart doesn’t belong to him. She’s dated a few men, but none of them last. That’s because she only has space for one person and that person just brought another woman into her home and is flaunting it in her face just to get back at her. She doesn’t deserve that.”
He goes silent, for so long I wonder if I’ve really gone and put my foot in it.
“I never brought Madeline in to hurt her. I didn’t ...”
“You didn’t realize she is still in love with you? Surely, you’re not that simple, Tanner.”
“She left me, Jo. Would you think someone loved you if they just upped and left?”
He makes a point. I wouldn’t. I get where he’s coming from.
“No, you’re right, I wouldn’t. But Callie ... She’s different. She was so scared of her love for you, I mean seriously, sit back and look at it. She killed your sister, even if it wasn’t intentional, she is scared of living every day with that hanging over her head.”
“I don’t blame her, not anymore.”
“But your family have an issue with it, and like you told her, deep down, you are always going to see her as the girl who killed Celia. She’s never going to escape that. She deserves to.”
“I don’t see her like that, not anymore,” he tells me. “I’ve thought a lot about it, more than you could begin to imagine, and accidents happen. They do. Every single fuckin’ day. What happened to Callie was bad timing, but if it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else. It wasn’t her fault.”
“You should have told her that,” I tell him, wiping the ink from his skin and then continuing.
“I did.”
“Well, maybe you should have made her believe it.”
He doesn’t say anything, he just turns his head to the side and stares at the pictures again, zoning out.
I know the conversation is over, so I busy myself working on his tattoo. An hour and a half into it, Callie comes into the shop. She’s nervous about the whole thing, even though it was her idea. She’s scared and unsure how to approach Tanner, or what to do to make him feel better on this day, but the fact that she’s made an effort says everything.
“How’s it going?” she asks, stopping by the table and glancing down at Tanner, who turns his head to look up at her.
“It’s going well,” I tell her. “It looks great.”
She peers down at the tattoo, and her eyes go red, filling with unshed tears. “It’s beautiful,” she says, her voice thick. “Wow, Jo, it’s utterly perfect.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty proud of it.” I grin at her.
“If she was here, she would love it,” Callie says, more to herself than anything.
“We had a tradition,” Tanner says, suddenly speaking out of the blue. Callie looks over to him, and he keeps talking. “Every birthday she insisted we go to the homeless shelters with cupcakes. She wanted to share her joy with those less fortunate. She was a giver like that. So we’d spend an entire day baking all these cupcakes, and then we’d go and hand them out. They loved her for it, and that made her so fuckin’ special.”
Callie smiles, a small, but genuine smile. “She sounds like she was a truly wonderful person.”
Tanner nods. “She was. Fuckin’ incredible.”
“She was lucky to have such a great family.”
Before Tanner can answer, Madeline comes into the shop, giving Callie and I a small smile before walking over and taking Tanner’s hand, then leaning down to kiss him. Callie looks away, her face pained. I feel for her, so much so I just want to scream because I know how much she’s hurting right now.
“It looks amazing, babe,” Madeline says, leaning over to look.
Tanner glances at Callie, and she locks eyes with him, and god damn, so much passes between them it makes my heart ache. I wish they’d get the chance to talk, to just be together and get this all out in the open. It’s clear they both need it.
“I should go,” Callie says, her voice soft. She stares down at the tattoo, and murmurs, “Happy birthday, Celia.”
Then she turns and leaves.
Dammit.
Why can’t this just get easier?
Fucking why?