Chapter Twenty-Four

 

Icy cold spread throughout my body despite sweat sticking hair against my head.

“Where did you get the locket, Abby?” Uncle Andy asked. “That's Louisa's. Did she give it to you?”

His gentle tone penetrated some of my mind numbing fear. I looked at him.

“Ma gave it to me the night before I left.” My teeth chattered. “She said it was because I'm a woman now.” A lonely tear slid alongside my nose. “But I don't feel like a woman. I want Ma.”

In spite of Mark's shirt wrapped around his arm, Uncle Andy checked me carefully.

“It's cold,” I said. “When can we go inside so we don't freeze?”

“Paul, get a blanket off the horse.” Adam shouted.

Paul trotted past. His concerned expression scared me even more. What was wrong with me? Why was I falling apart?

“Where's Ma?” I whimpered.

“Hang on, baby.” Adam pulled me into a hug. “Paul, where's that blanket?”

The harshness in his voice made me shake harder. Uncle Andy reached for me, but I clung to Adam. He wouldn't let anything else happen to me.

“She needs a warm place and something to eat,” Uncle Andy said. “We need to take care of this. It's shock.”

Shaking his head, Adam lifted me and stomped over to Paul. He had finally managed to pull a blanket away from the back of Mark's saddle and unrolled it. Adam put me on the ground and wrapped the blanket around me.

“I know that, Uncle Andy. Where do you propose I build a fire to make some food?” he asked. “What will we eat? We don't have pots, dishes, or food, and Abby's not fit to cook.”

“Don't get angry at me because I lived,” Uncle Andy said. “I'd rather have traded places with them than see this happen.”

Sheriff Cove stared into the distance. What sounded like thousands of hooves pounded across the desert. Instead of running for cover, my brothers followed the sheriff's gaze. Men wearing blue uniforms with wide brimmed hats rode onto our ranch. Captain Smith led them.

“Sorry, Sheriff,” he said. “We got sidetracked. Did you have a problem?”

Adam rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

“It'll be all right now, Abby,” he murmured. “The Army's here. They'll deal with this. Come on, baby, you gotta fight what you're feeling.”

I had no idea what he was talking about. Why would the Army take care of things? How could they?

“Captain Smith, we need a doctor for Abby,” Sheriff Cove said. “Shock.”

“I'm a doctor,” Uncle Andy said. “I'll take care of my niece.”

“Looks like you need some help too,” Captain Smith said and raised his voice. “Doc, got a couple of folks that need your help.” He pointed at a wagon near the rear. “Cookie, set up a stove. These folks need a warm meal. We'll figure out a way to shelter them until they get their house rebuilt.”

“Be right back.” Adam walked over to Captain Smith. “I know this is way out of line, sir.” Adam glanced at me. “It's Abby's sixteenth birthday tomorrow.”

“Say no more.” Captain Smith shook his head. “We may not have fancy fixings, but I'll speak to Cookie. It's not often he has the chance to bake a cake for a young lady's birthday.”

The sheriff joked with him about how a slip of a gal tossed rocks at the Johnsons until they gave up. It didn't matter how brave they thought I was. Nothing mattered at all. When a man with a bag like Uncle Andy's ran up, I shied away from him.

“I won't hurt you, little missy,” he said. “I'll have our cook bring you some tea if you let me check you out.”

“Uncle Andy's hurt worse,” I said. “Shouldn't you help him first?”

“Bless you, Abby, but I think the doctor should look you over first,” Uncle Andy said. “You've had a hard time since you got home. Might do you some good to rest for a while.”

Would that bring back my parents and Peter? Would that change what the Johnsons did? Nothing could. Our good-for-nothing neighbors had robbed me of just about everything I loved. Because of them, I would have to give up training horses. What was left of my family needed me to take Ma's place.

“Will you tell Pony Bob why I can't come anymore, Adam?” I asked. “Make sure he takes care of Blaze for me, so he keeps working for The Pony Express.”

“Sure will, short stuff.”

Tears flowed down his face, and he walked away with his head bent down. I tried to go after him, but the doctor carried me to the barn where Mark and Paul made pallets out of hay. After settling me on one, the doctor examined me much like Ma used to.

“Does anything hurt?” he asked.

“No, sir, it's all numb. Kind of feels better that way. Hurting isn't fun.”

“We'll fix that.” The doctor sent Mark for a cup of tea and uncorked a medicine bottle. “I need you to take this.”

The doctor poured some awful smelling medicine into a spoon. I wrinkled my nose.

“Open up.”

Ma and Pa had taught me to obey adults, even if they weren't family. After the doctor tipped the medicine down my throat, I wished I had told him no. It tasted worse than lye soap.

“Keep making faces like that, and your face will freeze.” He smiled. “I know laudanum tastes awful, but it'll let you sleep until you can handle this.”

“Nothing will help me handle this,” I mumbled. “It's my fault.”

“What makes you say that?” He turned around as Mark returned.

“Adam said you're to drink every drop.” Mark pressed a mug of milky tea into my shaking hands.

Oh, I would, and then I would give every man on the ranch a piece of my mind. The tea was so sweet it tasted like syrup. That medicine had made me feel so fuzzy and disconnected. My eyes drooped closed as soon as I finished the drink.

“Paul, tell Adam she'll be all right.” Mark lowered me onto the sweet smelling hay. “Doctor, our uncle has a pretty bad burn on his arm. I'll stay with Abby if you'll look after him.”

Dreams crashed around me, taking away the pain of losing more of my family. In them, everyone was still alive, every single one of them. David played pranks. Grace and I sang songs. Ma and Aunt Mattie made the most wonderful desserts. Pa and Peter helped in the corral. I hadn't lost anyone. I smiled and fell deeper and deeper into the dream.

The most wonderful smell woke me. I stretched and sat up, looking around. Adam sat against a hay bale.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

Reality hit me hard when I saw the sorrow on his face. The dreams had lied, just like my family had for ten years.

“I'm fine.” I tried picking hay out of my braids. “This is awful. I'll never get the hay out of my hair.”

“Let me.” He pulled a comb out of his pocket and undid my braids. “Do you remember me doing this when you were little?”

“Sort of.” My sadness had returned.

He gently combed out my hair and braided it in one long tail down my back.

“We have a surprise for you.” He held out a hand.

Not sure what to expect, I took his hand and walked outside with him. The rest of my brothers, Uncle Andy, the sheriff, and the army troop stood around a wagon where several cakes sat on the rear gate.

“Happy Birthday,” everyone shouted.

It wasn't what I wanted, but they all looked so eager, like they thought they could make me stop hurting if they gave me a party. I sighed and decided to let them think they had done it.

Adam hugged me from behind. “We wanted to make you feel special today, so you didn't think we'd forgotten.”

“Thank you,” I said.

I smiled until my face hurt and ate cake. All the while, I hoped I would feel happier next year.