93 DAYS UNTIL THE AUTUMNAL EQUINOX, AFTER NOON
“I don’t think I can do this,” Paulo said. He looked sick. “I can’t gut this animal, I just can’t.”
“That makes two of us, Chief.” Zane coughed, gagging. “It’s like filleting Brother Bear. So wrong.”
The bloody bear lay at our feet, waiting for the verdict. Bigger than I’d expected, the animal was a beast. Its claws were weapons as long as my forearm.
“I think the bear is best put to sea or buried,” Hafthor said slowly. He stood over the bear, arms crossed as he studied the animal. “If you undercook the meat, you can become very sick. And to clean this bear is a project.” He tilted his head at me. “I do not feel it is for us. Bears are revered in some cultures. I think we should be cautious. We should not butcher this bear.”
“Why can’t we just leave it here?” Paulo asked.
“We might have to,” I said. “It weighs three hundred kilos, easily. I don’t see how the five of us are going to lift that bear.” I looked at Paulo, impressed. “And you brought it down alone.”
Paulo shrugged. “It was distracted by Lana. I got lucky, I guess.”
He looked more nauseated than lucky.
Hafthor started digging, hefting sand out with his bare hands. “We’ll dig a grave next to the bear, and roll the body in. It feels right.”
“Hafthor, let’s find something to work as a shovel, okay?” Tools meant speed, and the faster we buried this bear, the sooner I got back to Skye. At least Thad was with her, a secret wingman.
I scoured the ground. Two flat rocks the size of my hand, a chunk of bark that used to wrap a tree, a half of a massive coconut shell later and we were in business. I passed out my tools and we got to work.
We’d no sooner started when a boy materialized from the trees; he held the other half of my coconut shell in his hand. I did a double-take, thinking it was Ahmad. But this kid was shorter, and Ahmad was long gone. He dropped to his knees beside me and began digging. “My name is James.” He nodded at me, choosing his words carefully. “I heard you in the woods yesterday. I cannot say I will join your City, but I would like to hear your story.”
My story, I thought.
“You got it,” I said. “This is my second trip here, but I’ll start with my first.”
As we dug deep, the words rolled out. Me on Freedom Beach, me waking up on Nil. Meeting Li first, who gave me the intro; meeting Natalie second, who shared my birthday and sense of humor. Meeting Thad, the badass Leader and later, my closest friend. I spoke of Nil Nights and Nil nightmares, of year deadlines and friends slaughtered before their time. Me, meeting Talla. Me, burying her. Me, desperate to figure this place out. Burials, sunsets. Sunrises, departures. Fresh faces and fresh days. Thad left, I stayed.
The hole beneath us grew.
I talked of Maaka and secrets and island barriers that meant nothing, and then I spoke of Skye, who meant everything. Then I stopped talking, just thinking. Of how everything shifted with her, how she was the shift. In me, in Nil. I remembered memories passing between us, only for us. So much belonged only to me and Skye, and it would stay between us. Instead I skimmed the surface of Skye’s time here last quarter: how her uncle’s past changed that particular Nil present, and how we did our damnedest to end it all but Nil wouldn’t let us. How Nil brought Skye back. Me, I was just along for the ride.
And I told them all of a ready-made gate in the wings, opening in three months to take us home.
I sat back on my heels. Below me stretched an empty hole, filled with my words. Covered in sweat, I felt lighter. Like that release had been a long time coming.
Hafthor spoke quietly. “I think we can roll the bear in now.”
Together we heaved the bear’s body into the pit. Working in reverse, we covered the bear with sand. The task went quickly with twelve hands at work and less space to fill.
When we were done, I turned to James. “Thanks for the help.”
He nodded once, his eyes dark, and thoughtful.
“I don’t know where you’ve been crashing, but you’re welcome to come back to the City with us. No worries either way.” I smiled.
He nodded. “I thank you for your welcome, and your honesty. And your story. There is something I must do, but I will see you soon.”
He slipped away as soundlessly as he’d come.
“Well, that was whacked,” Zane said.
“Really? Which part?” Paulo asked dryly.
“James’s drop-in. A little afternoon grave digging. Chief’s tale. Totally intense all around. But you know what’s really whacked?”
Paulo raised his eyebrows.
“What wasn’t said. The story’s not done, dude.” Zane waved his hand around. “We’re here, and we don’t want a repeat. So maybe Hafthor’s onto something with his houses for the little people—”
“Hidden people,” Hafthor corrected.
“—and respect for dead bears and his compass tattoo mojo, because you know what? I think there’s so much here that we don’t see. That we don’t know. I’m not saying we go all Viking on Nil, I’m saying that we need to pull back. Seriously listen to what Nil’s trying to tell us. Maybe having our eyes open isn’t enough, Chief. Maybe we need to listen, too. I used to dream of Sy but now I dream of Lana, like a little island voodoo’s working in my head. And I swear to God, Chief, sometimes I think I hear the island talking to me, using Lana’s voice. Maybe the island’s telling us all different things, like giving us all one piece of the puzzle. Or maybe the island wants different things from all of us, I don’t know.” He paused to breathe. I’d never heard Zane sound so serious, or say so much.
“I’m just saying I think we need to look at it from a different angle. Like, don’t look at Nil as a creepy island full of freaktastic creatures, look at it as a person. A living thing, with wants and needs. Hell, maybe if we look hard enough we’ll find a little green guy at tiny controls running the show, like we’re stuck in the universe on Orion’s Belt, right?” Zane took in our faces and his eyes went wide. “Didn’t any of you see Men in Black? No? Whatever.” He waved his hand again, wildly this time. “I’m just saying, something’s at work here, something bigger than us. Maybe not literally, maybe it really is a green guy the size of Hafthor’s pinky. But more powerful. Look inside, right? Look deep. And maybe while we’re looking, we need to be listening too. I don’t know. I’m just saying we need to think outside the box.” Zane exhaled, his mania ebbing. “All I’m saying is maybe we need to let Nil in a little to figure all this out. I’ll stop now.”
“I hear you, Zane,” I said calmly. “And you’ve got a point. We need to be open to everything. But…” I thought of Skye crouched in the cavern, trapped in her own head by Nil. “I think we need to be careful about letting Nil into our heads. Don’t let it get in too deep. Because I think that’s how the island wins.”
Maaka’s words roared back.
The island’s fire has touched you. It burns inside you. Do not let it consume you.
An epiphany struck, as clear as the Nil sky. If we let Nil in, it consumes us because we’re what it wants. Puppets for the puppet master.
“And for the record?” I spoke quietly. “We know what it wants. It wants us.”
I looked toward the mountain, the same peak framed by the Arches, hiding the platform still fresh in my head.
We want something too, I thought. And it’s completely at odds with you.
Equal scales, the ultimate Nil balance.
Our deaths, Nil’s life. Our lives, Nil’s death.
What would be the deciding factor, the one that would tip the scales?
Or who? the breeze crooned.
My gut said I already knew the answer, I just didn’t like it.
I never had.
* * *
Back in the City, Thad stood in front of the Wall, tracing names with his fingers.
“Where is everyone?” I asked. The City center was deserted, no one in sight. A huge fish lay roasting in the coals, scales on.
“If by everyone you mean Skye, she’s on the beach, which is where everyone else is too.” Thad’s expression turned grave. “Got a rookie today. Chuck. Kid’s fourteen, maybe fifteen, youngest one around these days. I think the kid’s got asthma. Or panic attacks. Either way, I thought he might not make it past his opening minutes. But he did.” His gaze flicked back to the Wall. “And the guy you met this morning. Dominic? He dropped off a fish. But he didn’t stay.”
“Why?”
“Said he’d catch you later. Had something to do.”
Thad lapsed into silence, staring at the Wall. Staring at his name. Four letters and a check. A check that meant nothing at this moment. We were back, our clocks reset, only this time, the year deadline didn’t have the same brutal feel. Now we had a ready-made gate on standby, three months out and counting.
Thad’s gaze had drifted to the open stretch of Wall. A blank slate, raw and ready.
“You gonna put your name back up there?” I crossed my arms.
Thad shook his head. “You?”
“Nope.” Not a chance. I had no plans to give Nil any more of me, not even my name.
“Been there, done that, eh?” Thad nodded. “Same.”
I left him at the Wall, wishing I could shed the weight of the City as easily. New faces to know, new bodies to protect. New minds to shield. I felt stuck in a cruel cycle not of my own making, a human hamster stuck on a treadmill, going nowhere but in circles. For Nil’s amusement, Nil’s thrills.
“Rives.” Skye’s voice startled me. The rock in her sling dug into my hip as she kissed me, but I didn’t care. I reveled in the fact that she was safe, so close I could wrap both arms around her. Protecting her here was impossible, but I didn’t have a fighting chance when I couldn’t see her.
She stepped away, her shoulders back and braced, her eyes flecked with iron.
“Rives, we need a plan. Right now the urge to get going, to do something, is so strong I can barely stand it. I want to go everywhere, only this time I don’t know what I’m looking for—a clue, a place, or even a person.” She shook her head. “It’s making me crazy.” She smiled. “Not really. I mean, it’s driving me crazy, the inaction. The waiting. But last night Molly gave me an idea. She said this place is all about the searching. And she’s right. So it made me think. Why not use the Search system we have, only instead of Searching for gates, we Search for clues? We start at the City and fan out from here, working each quadrant in a grid in teams like before, and hunt for anything that might be useful to stopping this place.” Her face tilted toward mine with fiery hope. “What do you think?”
I think it sucks. I think it’s a wild goose chase. I think it has a million ways it can go wrong and only one way it can go right.
The girl I’d bet could beat those odds stood before me. “I think it beats sitting around here, eating fish wraps and living the same nightmare, day in and day out. Maybe we’ll win the Nil crapshoot after all.”
She nodded. “Exactly. It starts tomorrow.”