There was no way to turn the light off from inside the room.
The fixture, high on a wall, had a metal mesh cover over a dim yellow bulb. By now it must be morning but there were no windows to help her know.
Her shoes were gone. Or had she lost them before? Her head felt wooly. It ached. When she touched her forehead she felt a lump there, bruised and sore, and flakes of dried blood came away on her fingers. Her body was heavy, the muscles tight. More bruises. Bruises everywhere.
This was a different room.
Again, she touched her head and wanted to cry. Would anyone hear? They had to hear. They had to come for her. They said they would.
Didn’t they? When she was picked up?
The mattress on the floor had no pillow and her neck hurt, but she must stay there.
The light went out.
Screaming again. It had been screaming that woke her.
Screaming, or laughing?
Had she screamed?
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make any noise, but you frightened me. Don’t leave me here any longer, please, please. All I did was love him. All I have ever done for so long is love him. I never thought anyone would be hurt – would die.
No one will know. Believe me, please. You never have to fear me or be angry with me again. If you let me out, I will keep the secrets forever.
I fell. I remember now going down, pushed down, but I didn’t do what you think. I didn’t tell anyone. I kept you safe.
If you’re not safe, I’m not safe. I told you no one had found out.
Under the door, a line of bright light showed. Morning – or later. Daylight, but not in here. Even while she was sucked away – again and again, she had heard him talk. He said he had to decide, but he wasn’t going to let her …
Pain seeped back in behind her eyes, exploded inside her skull.
He was saying what he would not let her do, but she couldn’t hear the words anymore.