As it turns out it was one of Lovie’s staff, the head waiter, Jon, who remembered the detail that broke the case wide open.
Here’s the way Jack remembers it.
o0o
Jack
At the rate Lovie was going, I didn’t’ know if there’d be any food left for the reception. I had mixed feelings about that. Cal might be disappointed but without the lure of food, the guests would leave earlier and I could get on with my honeymoon.
Selfish of me, I know. But a groom running out of vacation time needs to make the best of it.
I was standing by the champagne fountain questioning a petite brunette named Charlene. She said her job was making sure the guests kept their glasses refilled and collecting the empties. It was obvious she hadn’t seen a thing that would help us.
With the clock ticking and the organist warming up, I was beginning to think we might as call the search off and resign ourselves to a reception without a wedding cake, when Charlie called out, “Jack. Lovie. You need to hear this.”
He was talking to a florid-faced, middle-aged man with a bald head. Head waiter, the best I could tell from his suit and the gold name tag he was wearing.
I headed in his direction, and so did Lovie. I noticed she paused by the meats table to snatch up roast beef on a bun.
When we got to Charlie, he said, “Jon, tell them what you told me.”
“I didn’t think anything was amiss at the time, but I did think it was odd.”
I wanted to shake the man and yell. “Skip the preamble and cut to the chase.” But this wasn’t the Middle East, and world peace was not at stake, so I restrained myself.
I couldn’t say the same for Lovie. “About what, Jon? We don’t have all day.”
“I remember…the cake was still on the table when that Chef who rides a motorcycle – what’s his name – showed up.”
“Cleat Clemson! That wart on a frog’s butt!”
This sounded promising. “A rival, Lovie?’
“I took the best of show last week in the Delta with my chocolate cherry cake, and Cleat Clemson has wanted me drawn and quartered ever since.”
“Did he say anything concrete to back that up, dear heart?”
“He accused me of using Betty Crocker cake mix, which was a bald-faced lie. Then he said he’d make sure I ‘got what was coming to me.’ His exact words.”
“I think Lovie’s onto something, Charlie. Sabotaging a tea party of the church ladies’ sewing circle wouldn’t do that, but a society wedding would.”
Lovie was nodding her head in agreement. “And…I think he’s been tailing you and Callie.”
“The big guy with the mole on his chin.” I mentally kick myself for not following up on our stalker.
“That’s him,” Lovie said.
I bolted toward the outside door, calling over my shoulder, ““Be right back.”
While Lovie was describing Cleat Clemson to Charlie, I raced into the parking lot. It didn’t take me long to find the Gold Wing bike. It stuck out among the Fords and Chevies as much as my silver Jag.
I hurried back inside. “His bike’s out there. Where does he live, Lovie?”
“I don’t know exactly.”
“Think, dear heart.”
“A small town, I believe.”
Two things I learned about Lovie that day. She eats under stress, but she keeps her wits about her. Considering that we now had only fifteen minutes till the ceremony, and she was Callie’s right hand gal, she was remarkably absent of hysterics.
I’d never had family, had never even wanted one till I met Cal. But it was beginning to look like my bride came with a bonus. I was going to enjoy having Lovie as a cousin.
“The guy knew enough to tail your cousin and he knew about the wedding,” I said, hoping to jog her memory. “That would indicate he’s either from somewhere nearby or he has connections to someone who is.”
“Pontotoc!” Lovie yelled. “He’s from Pontotoc.”
“Good work, dear heart.” Charlie pulled out his cell phone, and I didn’t have to ask to know he was calling in reinforcements from The Company. They’d have a chopper in the air within minutes of his call. Looking for a green hearse somewhere between Mooreville and Pontotoc.
“Charlie, he’s either got an accomplice who will take his bike back, or he’s going to ditch the hearse somewhere close and walk back to get it himself.” I turned to Jon. “Was anybody with him?”
“Not unless they were waiting outside or in the chapel.”
“It’s unlikely,” Lovie said. “Chef Clemson’s a known loner. Probably because nobody can stand to be around him.”
Lovie was spitting so much fire, she looked like she could caramelize crème brulee without a torch. I was appreciating her more by the minute.
Charlie spoke into the cell phone. “Check Ruby Nell’s farm and Gas, Grits and Guts. We think he’ll ditch the hearse and double back for his bike.”
I was itching to get in the helicopter and be there when they nabbed the cake thief. After I finished with Chef Clemson, he’d never mess with another Valentine.
But for once, I had to be content to stay out of the action. I didn’t want my bride to walk down the aisle and not find a groom. Cal was not the kind of woman you left standing at the altar.
And if I did, only temporarily, I feared I’d never get a second chance.
Meanwhile, Charlie was still issuing commands on the phone. I held out my hand and he passed it to me.
“Big ‘Un, is that you?” I said.
“It’s me, Panther. Whatever you want, name it and you’ve got.”
“Get that cake back to the Wildwood Baptist church a.s.a.p. And then hold the culprit till after my wedding. I’d like a word with him.”
“You got it. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes.”
Before I signed off, I turned to Charlie. “Are we done here?”
“Done.”
I signed off with my Company cohort, handed Charlie his phone and straightened my tie.
“Then let’s go. There’s a wedding I need to attend.”
I put the search for the wedding day thief out of my mind. It’s not every day a man gets married, especially a man who had sworn he would never walk down the aisle.
But that was before I met Callie Valentine.
I shook Charlie’s hand then headed back to the dressing room where I’d spend my last few minutes before I made Cal my bride.
o0o
My human dad makes everything sound easy. You’d have to know Jack to understand that he skips over the parts of the story that would draw attention to himself.
But I’ve learned a few tidbits from years of being his confidante. And what I didn’t learn by being lending an ear, I found out by judicious eavesdropping.
The real low down is that ordinarily The Company doesn’t use its agents and one of its helicopters, to boot, to search for a missing wedding cake. But Jack is their premiere agent, the one who has risked more, dared more and succeeded more than any of five of their best men put together. What Jack wants, Jack gets.
Currently, he wants Callie back. And I’m doing my part to make that happen.
Actually, the whole town is in a conspiracy to get them reconciled. And no wonder!
Most of them were at the wedding, and to hear them tell it, it was the kind of wedding you never forget.
Since Fayrene was a principle player in the secret search for the thief, I’ll tell her version first.
o0o
Fayrene
There I was, standing in the dressing holding back information that would have had any other woman passed out on the floor receiving artificial perspiration. But years of being the driving force behind Gas, Grits and Guts had given me an advantage over ordinary women. Business sense plus a very good set of NBA made me the perfect one to keep Ruby Nell from going into wisteria. The bridesmaid was missing and there was no sign of the man who was going to give away the bride.
“It’s not like Lovie to abandon Callie like this,” Ruby Nell said, which didn’t do a thing but irrigate Callie.
“Holy cow, Mama. If you don’t calm down, you’re going to make me nervous.”
“Callie’s right, Ruby Nell. Calm down. Lovie’s in charge of the deception. She’s bound to have a dozen last minute details to tend to.”
All the while I was being calm as a cantaloupe, I was trying to keep from breaking out in a sweat, myself.
The church was air conditioned, but it didn’t feel like it. Thank the Lord somebody had the forthright to bring an oscillating fan. I went over to stand in front of it and cool off. I was still worried about getting sweat circles under the arms of my out-of-town silk dress.
About the time I was worried that the thief had moved from stealing wedding cakes and hearses into kidnapping – a grand lark if I ever saw one – Lovie came strolling in as if nothing had happened.
I was full of questions, but I had sense enough to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want to spoil the day.
Lovie winked at me and I winked back. One of the reasons I’m considered Mooreville royalty is I’m a minx when it comes to holding back gossip that is nobody’s business.
Ruby Nell began asking her a million questions, but Callie just said, “Mama, calm down. You’re making so much racket, we’ll never hear the wedding march.”
Their little argument wouldn’t have stopped Ruby Nell, but Charlie did. He walked in about that time and held out his arm to Callie.
“Are you ready, ladies?”
“I thought you’d never get here, Charlie Valentine.”
Ruby Nell pretended to act huffy, but I could tell she meant exactly the opposite.
Charlie winked at me. “After you, ladies.”
I guess you’re thinking it’s strange that I got to walk in with the mother of the bride. But there’s one thing about the Valentine family that you need to get straight. When it comes to making a choice between tradition and friendship, they choose their friends every time.
Lucky me. I had a front row seat to the most romantic wedding of the century.
Jack was the handsomest man I’d ever seen in a tuxedo. Several edible women among the guests let out a sigh you could hear clear to Gas, Grits and Guts. If I’d been younger, I’d have been swooning too.
And Callie looked like a princess bride, thanks to my clever last-minute altercations.
The ceremony itself had me and Ruby Nell both dabbing at our eyes. Discreetly, of course. We’re not the kind of women to steal somebody else’s show.
And what a show it was. The bride and groom wrote their own vows. If ever anything was more beautiful than Jack telling Callie she was the only star in his sky, his true soul mate, I don’t know what it would be.
Jarvetis could learn a thing from that man. The only time he ever gets sentimental is when he talks to Trey, his redbone hound dog.
Of course, during the whole time I had the missing wedding cake in the back of my mind. I wondered if they’d find it in time for the deception.