Chapter 23

“What has you so troubled?” asked Tristan.

“I just didn’t think there would be so many names to sort through. When I first ordered this report from the national archives, I truly thought we’d find just a small handful. I assumed we could research each person individually. But look at this.” She swept her hand across the bundle of pages. “There’s just no way we can delve into the personal history of all these men. At least, not in my lifetime.”

She stapled the stack together and then tossed him the packet, thereby giving him access to the complete list. “I feel very much like we are looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. There are literally thousands of names on those pages, and none of them mean anything to me.”

“I know,” he replied as he slid the report into position. “If memory serves, we had over four thousand captured or missing from the battle of Chickamauga alone.”

“Yes, that’s what the original report says, and over two thousand men are listed as missing on the side of the Confederates. Anyway, take a look at them and see if any of those names mean anything to you.”

She lapsed into companionable silence then, thus allowing Tristan to concentrate on the list of names while she turned her attention to translating the Norwegian journal. She wanted to keep ahead of schedule so when she found an opportunity to search for her forest, she could take it.

“Hmm,” Tristan said several minutes later. “This one is interesting.”

“Which one?” she leaned over and glanced at the name he indicated on the report. Somehow, it looked familiar. “Who is Anders Janssen?”

“Remember Nils’s runner?” he reminded her. “The man who delivered the note from Nils?”

“Oh, that’s right. I remember now. You did tell me his name was Janssen.” Shae furrowed her brow as she met his gaze. “He went missing?”

“That’s what the report says. However, the strange thing is they reported him missing right after the second battle at Chickamauga.”

“That can’t be right. He gave you the note from Nils much later than that.”

“Exactly. His name shouldn’t be on this list, yet here it is.”

“The report doesn’t say anything about him being found at a later date, does it?” she asked, as she slid her chair next to his. Her eyes fell on the page.

“Not that I can tell,” he replied, turning the document a little more toward her. “See?”

“Well, I think I am going to order his complete file from NARA and see what’s in it. Maybe we can find the answers to our questions among his personal records.” She jotted the name in her notebook so she wouldn’t forget.

“Sounds good to me. Perhaps—” Tristan stopped short when the office phone rang.

Once she picked it up, Shae discovered Simon Hollander on the other end of the line. Her hand went to her brow and at once, her fingers massaged her forehead. The mere sound of his voice grated on her nerves.

Simon said he and Professor Todd Andersen had arrived and asked if she could meet him for lunch at the hotel restaurant. He said he found himself with a lot of spare time on his hands while Andersen attended his meeting with Reuben, and he would very much like to see her. How annoying.

“Oh, I don’t know, Simon. I’m just so busy right now. I am on a very tight schedule, and I don’t want to break it.” Just as she made the statement, a flash of inspiration entered her mind.

She had no desire to see Simon, for truly they didn’t have anything left to talk about. Everything she needed to say, she said in the letter she left on his desk in Oslo. Nonetheless, meeting Simon for lunch and enduring his presence for the length of one meal, would give her the perfect opportunity to search for her forest.

Despite the remoteness of the possibility, part of her remained convinced the place existed intact. With a bit of perseverance and luck, she could find it. She would have all afternoon to explore the area surrounding the church, and surely, Tristan wouldn’t volunteer to accompany her on this particular outing. As the plan settled into her mind, she turned to face her captain, met his inquisitive gaze, and lifted her shoulders in a helpless shrug.

“Oh, all right, Simon. I suppose I can spare an hour or so if you insist. Where do you want me to meet you?” She scribbled the name of his hotel on her notepad.

One hour later, Shae drove into the parking lot. Leaving Tristan behind proved a little more difficult than what she first anticipated. For reasons he didn’t specify, he didn’t want her meeting with Simon without him. Despite his misgivings, she convinced him of the need to meet with Simon by herself. She didn’t recall the list of reasons she rattled off, but they seemed to work well enough. And once she promised she would call the minute she finished so they could meet up somewhere for the drive home together, he agreed. More than anything, she wanted him to meet her in the woodlands behind the church. They would have a lot to discuss before coming home, but only if she could find it.

The sight of Simon waving to her from his table near the back corner put an end to her blissful daydreams. She took a deep breath in preparation for the coming ordeal and made her way through the crowded room.

He leaped to his feet and while helping her into her chair, he said, “You are looking really good, Shae. Tennessee must agree with you.”

“Thank you. Tennessee agrees with me very well. I find I really love it here.” She sat down and inched her chair forward. “In fact, you could say coming here is one of the best choices I’ve ever made in my life.”

“In all honesty, a part of me hoped you wouldn’t look quite so good,” he said as he took his seat opposite her. “In fact, I’ve never seen you look quite this lovely. You have a glow about you that I don’t recall seeing before. Surely it isn’t because of all those dusty records you’re translating for the exhibits?”

Shae puzzled over his odd comments. “Why would you say that? And what difference does it make to you, whether I look ‘lovely’ or not?”

Simon hesitated for just a moment. “Well, because looking lovely, um, denotes happiness, and we miss you of course. This assignment of yours meant we lost the most valuable member of our team. You should see all of the things we are working on right now, you would be both thrilled and amazed over some of our discoveries.”

He launched into the full details of all their latest projects with his enthusiasm at full bore. Shae only half-listened though, and she hoped she inserted enough coherent responses to appear attentive to his aimless babble. Her mind didn’t focus anywhere near the conversation, and that surprised her. Once upon a time, not too long ago, she would have hung on his every word. Now she simply wanted this luncheon to end, and the sooner the better. She thrust her napkin on top of her half-eaten plate of food, propped her elbow on the table, and rested her chin on top of her hand.

“Shae?” Simon waved his hand in front of her unblinking eyes. “Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” she asked as a guilty blush rose to her cheeks.

“I said I wanted to take a drive to the Chickamauga Memorial this afternoon, and I asked if you would come with me. I would really like to see the place while I am here. As you can imagine, the professor talks a great deal about the museum.”

“I’m sorry, Simon,” Shae said, without feeling the least bit remorseful. “I have something else I need to do. In fact, I should have left a long time ago, and it’s getting late.”

“What is so important that you can’t take a few more hours and spend them with me?” he asked sullenly. “Two hours surely wouldn’t make or break your precious little project.”

“There is just something I have to do at…at this church, and I need the daylight. My errand has to do with the forest behind it and I can’t see if it’s dark. Look, I’m very sorry, but this just can’t wait.” She rose from her chair, grabbed her bag, and tossed it over her shoulder. Simon bounded from his seat and rushed to her side.

“Come on, Shae,” he begged. “Just a few more hours of your time, is that really asking too much?”

As a matter of fact, it is, she wanted to scream. Instead, she gave her head a little shake and said, “Why? What is so important? I mean we exhausted just about every subject we could possibly discuss over lunch.”

“No we didn’t, not everything. You know we didn’t leave things resolved between us before you left Oslo. I admit I took the coward’s way out when I left you that message on your phone. But I just didn’t want to see your response, especially if it became indifferent or if you expressed relief.”

At that point, Shae took note of all the people within earshot of their table. They all stared back, looking from her to Simon as if awaiting her response to the unfolding drama. “Let’s take this conversation outside, shall we?”

Shae clenched her teeth as she hurried out to the parking lot. She quickened her steps as she spied her jeep and the escape it promised. After unlocking the door, she turned toward him and released a sigh. “Simon—”

“Wait!” he implored her. “Just wait a minute. I know you are angry with me, and I admit you have every right to feel that way.”

“I’m not angry with you, Simon,” she said, using a tone of indifference. “You’re right, and I said so in the letter. Didn’t you read it? There is no love or passion in our relationship, just as you pointed out. We have nothing to base a marriage on and therefore, had no business pretending otherwise. I believe it’s a very good thing we didn’t get married. We are friends and colleagues, nothing more. Marriage would surely have ruined a good working relationship.”

“Are you so sure about that, Shae?” He raised a brow and leaned in a little closer. “Haven’t you missed me, even a little bit since you’ve come to Tennessee?”

She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered her reply. If nothing else, she and Simon had always been honest with each other. She wouldn’t change that now, not even to spare his feelings.

“Quite frankly, Simon, no. I haven’t missed you at all. I am very happy with my life here. In fact, it’s going to break my heart the day I leave this place in ways you can’t even begin to understand. The moment I board that plane and return to Oslo, it will be because that is where my work takes me, nothing more.”

“I see.” Simon cast his gaze at the pavement and released a dejected sigh. “Professor Andersen encouraged me to come along on this trip, you know. He was so sure you wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see you. He said if I tagged along on this trip we could sort everything out. I guess he doesn’t know everything, does he? So, I guess that, as they say, is that.”

“Come on Simon, don’t sulk. You know this is the right decision to make,” Shae said as she turned toward her jeep, opened the door, and tossed her bag inside. She glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled.

“You are a wonderful man, really you are. Love will find you one day and probably in the most unexpected place. Trust me on that one. And when it comes, you will be grateful you didn’t settle for something far less desirable.”

Simon stuffed his hands inside his pockets and stepped away from the vehicle. Shae got into her jeep, gave him a wave, and headed for the church. All thoughts of Simon and their conversation fled her mind as she focused on the woodland. She berated herself for spending far too much time at the restaurant in an effort to be polite. Now she had to fight against the rapidly setting sun.

Shae parked the jeep just off the path and exited the vehicle. She took nothing but her cell phone and keys. With certainty in her steps, she followed the all-too-familiar trail leading to the church. Her heart hammered against her chest in anticipation of what lay ahead. As she approached the steps of Adaria, she turned toward the hitching post where Tristan tethered his horse. She rested her hand atop the small wooden beam, closed her eyes, and called her dreams to mind. Then after turning toward the path she walked in those dreams, her gaze swept across the horizon. Tall, ancient trees and lush vegetation filled the area on all sides. A slight smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she moved a single step forward.

At that same moment, a blast of icy rage shot through the door of Adaria. Shae gasped over the onslaught. Her breath heaved out in short, frigid gasps that she could see each time she exhaled. She fell back as her wide-eyed gaze wandered over the odious structure. An evil haze seeped out of the cracks and crevices. The mist swirled all around her then, coming not from above, but from the ground below her feet. A wave of nausea swept over and through her. An execrable force beckoned her toward the door. A need to enter the building overwhelmed her desire to do otherwise. For a moment she wavered, and then, with all her strength, fought against it.

“No!” she gasped aloud.

She did not come here to visit the church. She sought this place because of the deep love she had for Tristan and she wanted to share those feelings with him. The sure knowledge of that simple fact banished the enticing force. She took a deep cleansing breath, turned her gaze away from the church, and made her way to the woodland.

Shae picked her way through the density of the trees and foliage. A power she could not see guided each step. And each step confirmed that she traversed the correct path. She followed a curve to the right and with certainty, recalled strolling beside Tristan at this very location. His warm embrace cuddled her close to his chest. His body radiated the warmth she needed to ward off the chill. She snuggled closer, as they continued their journey toward the church.

The full memory flooded into her mind. She closed her eyes and lifted her face heavenward. Chills covered her entire body as she recalled his words.

“You don’t have to do this, Shaelynn,” he whispered. “We can end this right now, if you wish.”

She didn’t. He turned her around to face him then and asked one last time if she wanted to continue the quest. She said yes and asked him for directions on how to proceed. Tristan cupped her face with gentle hands, told her to watch for his arrival, and then follow him inside the church. He made sure she understood that she would witness naught but a past event and told her to look for the details he might have missed. He gave her that look then that spewed liquid fire through her veins.

“Then all that’s left is this—” he said before he lowered his mouth to hers. Shae could feel her cheeks flaming as she called to mind the intensity and passion of Tristan’s powerful kisses. She returned each of them in kind and without shyness, because she loved him, had always loved him, with each miniscule speck of her being.

She remembered feeling so lost in his kisses that she had almost forgotten her purpose. When he stepped away and looked toward the church, she remembered her objective. He left her then and soon thereafter, she could see him riding toward the church. The Union captain looked so handsome, so noble riding atop his stallion.

Shae could feel her knees weaken as the memory of the dreams continued to wash over her. Just off to the side, rested a large flat rock. She made her way to that rock and sat down. As the memories continued to unfold, she hurried passed the painful recollection of the battle between Odin and Fenrir. The dream didn’t truly end there, though.

For now, she recalled the agony of kneeling next to his body and her desperate attempts to take him into her arms. A futile effort at best. Nevertheless, the need to hold him overtook all sense of reason. She cried in anguish as she witnessed his mortal life slip away. Then in what seemed a miracle, he knelt beside her. She could feel the strength of his arms as they wrapped around her waist. He lifted her to her feet and whisked her here to this very spot. With a mixture of tenderness and passion, he kissed away her sadness. She wondered if Tristan had any inkling of what his kisses did to her.

Wave after wave of tender emotion filled her as she recalled both dreams in their entirety. Once again, she experienced each kiss, each look, and each word they shared. Tristan loved her, just as she loved him. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else would ever matter.

Right now, she had the overwhelming need to share this moment with him. She wanted to tell him that she remembered everything that passed between them, even though he willed it otherwise. They had so much to talk about, so much to share.

Her hands trembled as she retrieved her cell phone and selected her office number from her list of contacts. He said he would wait for her to call. One ring. How long would it take him to get here? Ring number two. Oh, come on, she silently screamed, please answer the phone! The third ring ended. How many more did she have to endure before he answered? Just then, she heard the sound of the receiver as it lifted off the cradle.

“Tristan?” She let go of her phone as an outraged, guttural wail shattered the silence.

Terror consumed her. Her hands flew to her mouth as she stifled a scream. She whirled toward the bone-chilling sound. Yet, she couldn’t discern the location. Did she hear the odious howl inside her mind? In answer to her silent question, Nils Adlundsen appeared before her. His fiery eyes became angry slits, and his face twisted with hatred and contempt. Time ceased as he glared at her, and she found she could not look away from the intensity of his terrifying, wrathful gaze. Nothing Hollywood ever offered could match the terrifying spectacle presented by this wolf son of Loki. Then just as suddenly as he appeared, he disappeared from sight. He muttered something about Tristan as he vanished. But how could he know of their connection?

The reason dawned on her then. She said Tristan’s name aloud the minute he picked up the receiver. Her legs trembled as she rose from the rock. Indecision consumed her. What should she do? Would Nils try to follow her home in an effort to locate Tristan? What would happen if he did?

Her own observations told her that spirits could touch each other. The spirits at Starling demonstrated this ability on a daily basis. She witnessed their interaction as they wrestled, swatted, hugged, and even kissed each other. Did this mean Nils could also harm Tristan as her nightmare suggested? Odin and Fenrir and their last battle at Ragnarok. No! Her mind screamed the word. She couldn’t allow that to happen. Not again and not now.

Heaven help her. She didn’t know what to do from here, which course to take. Heaven help her. The phrase repeated in her head. Heaven help her? Bryn! Bryn foresaw this moment, and prepared her to face it. She showed her each step to take. Shae just needed to follow the steps. Therefore, she would follow the same path she walked in her nightmare. Nils wouldn’t expect her to come from that direction. Not if he had already retreated to the church. If he followed her at this moment, then taking a different path wouldn’t make any difference, anyway.

By the time she reached her jeep, darkness filled the skies. The only light to guide her steps came from the full moon, directly overhead. Taking a brief moment, she looked up into the night sky. She may as well have been dreaming. Everything looked just as it did in her nightmares. After a deep breath, she gazed at the path ahead, and stepped toward her destiny. She didn’t exactly know what to do once she reached the church, but surely, Bryn would guide her. At least she could draw comfort in knowing the battle between Fenrir and Odin ended over a century ago. She did not need to witness the death of Odin again just as long as she could keep Tristan away from the church. The thought gave her the strength she so desperately needed.

The beat of her heart accelerated as she walked up the porch toward the weathered door. She could feel herself gasping for breath the moment she lifted the latch. Hesitating for the briefest of moments, she called to mind her promise to Tristan. She promised him she would not enter this building without him. But then she also remembered him saying that evil spirits could pose a difficult problem, even for other spirits. She closed her eyes in an effort to stay the tears. Fenrir and Odin.

“I’m so sorry, Tristan,” she whispered as her heart begged for his forgiveness. “But this is something I need to do by myself.”

Her hand trembled as she inched the door ajar, and then stepped through the crack. Darkness enveloped her, and it took a few minutes for her eyes to adjust to a room devoid of light. She cast a cautious gaze about the boundaries of the chapel. Nils wouldn’t show himself if he didn’t choose to, and even if he did, she didn’t know how to respond. She prayed the knowledge would come. Perhaps Bryn might appear as she did in her dreams.

“Welcome,” the disembodied voice hissed in the darkness. “Come in. There is no need for such fear.”

“I’m not afraid of you, Major Adlundsen,” Shae shot back with a boldness she didn’t feel.

“Are you not?” the evil apparition mocked. “Then why are you trembling?”

“Because it’s cold in here,” she snapped. A true enough statement. She could quite literally see the mist of breath in front of her.

“Well, there’s not much we can do about that now, is there,” Nils crooned.

The dark spirit of Major Nils Adlundsen ambled toward her as if time meant nothing, and the slow pace filled her with trepidation. She inched her way back toward the door and the escape it promised should she find it necessary.

“So tell me, where has our dearly departed captain been hiding all of this time?”

The smugness she detected in Nils’s tone infuriated her.

“Oh, yes, I know all about that now. Shouldn’t the heroic captain come rushing in to rescue the damsel in distress? You needn’t deny it, for you spoke his vile name in the forest, did you not?”

“Tristan has no need to hide from you. He’s not the coward you are!” Shae’s temper soared, and now she met his gaze without a shred of apprehension. The act irritated him. In fact, her presence aggravated him no end, and that surprised her. Just then, a pitch-black, smothering darkness filled the area surrounding her body. Her eyes fought to adjust to the deepening gloom. She found it difficult to breathe.

“Whatever it is you and Tristan have planned behind my back, it will not work, you know,” Nils spat.

Shae whirled around toward the sound of his voice, which had now changed locations. The major stood in front of the door, barring her exit. She inched backward down the aisle. Stale, putrid air surrounded his being, and the smell made her gag. She took another step backward.

“Tristan isn’t planning anything. As far as I know, he doesn’t even know you are here,” she lied. “I, on the other hand, am planning to expose you for the murderer and liar you are. Soon the entire world will know your name. They will know exactly what you did, step by devious step.”

Nils continued to amble toward her, and she continued to retreat.

“How do you plan to accomplish such a miraculous feat?” he crooned.

His constant shift of mood unnerved her. A cornered animal couldn’t feel any more frightened than she did at this moment, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she sensed that Nils herded her in the direction he wished her to go. Yet, she would not allow him to see her fear.

“I have all the pieces to the puzzle, Adlundsen. You left an amazing trail of loose ends. I didn’t find it all that difficult to follow them. Piece by despicable piece your plot has unraveled. If you have the guts and want to hang around long enough, you can watch me set history aright,” Shae stated, using the most defiant tone she could muster.

Adlundsen’s enraged shriek caught her off-guard. She gasped as she took an involuntary step backward. Her foot came down on a thick piece of shattered wood. She stumbled over it. The movement caused her to lose her balance, and she could feel herself falling. Her hands flailed outward, in search of something that would stop the fall. A small yelp escaped her lips.

The menacing, shapeless black mass that had become Nils Adlundsen’s soul thundered toward her at that very moment. With a dizzying sickness, she could feel her body lift off the ground. An unseen force carried her toward the highest point of the vaulted ceiling. The sensation terrified her. She opened her mouth and drew in a ragged breath. She wanted to scream as loud and as long as she could, but only a whimper passed through her lips. Her lungs tightened and it became even more difficult and painful to breathe. Then, something horrible and unimaginably strong gripped her body in several places at once. She struggled to free herself from its iron grasp. Yet, no matter how hard she struggled, she couldn’t move. Tears coursed down her cheeks, just as they did in her dreams. Bryn, she silently screamed, help me! Bryn did not come.

“You can’t do this,” she rasped. “Please, you can not do this.”

Nils laughed, and the ominous sound terrified her beyond measure.

“You mortals are so predictable,” he sneered. “Such an easy task, welcoming you into my domain.”

He circled her body. She shut her eyes to ward off the repulsive vision. He laughed again in return.

“No need to cower,” he hissed. “Your little ordeal will be over soon enough. Your life will end, and I will claim your soul for all time. I find the thought of a new playmate so very delicious.”

Far below, a portion of the floor gave way, and she could see naught but blackness looming upward from the hole. Seconds later, Nils thrust her body down into the gaping jaws of Fenrir. The journey downward seemed endless, with no way to stop the descent.