Astrid was washing Helen’s face with kisses and tears and hugging her before she even got out of the car. It was late, past seven, and Helen was tired after a long day at the shop.
Astrid’s unexpected reception was wearisome.
Vivian walked past them into the house; displays of overly ripe emotion made him shy away.
‘A new baby! You will be a grandmother. And they are all going to live here!’ Astrid cried, still holding onto Helen as they entered the kitchen.
‘How did you find out?’ said Helen, releasing herself from Astrid’s grip.
‘Arnold came and told me.’
‘Arnold?’
‘Yes.’ Astrid began to wipe her tears away. Helen’s tone was sobering her up.
‘Arnold was in this house?’ Helen’s eyes were piercing. ‘He was in this house talking with you?’
Astrid swatted Helen’s questions away. ‘Aren’t you excited about the baby?’
Helen’s face was blank with despair. Gabriel had lit a fuse running straight to a powder keg. His plan was already causing explosions, casualties. Arnold, who had always detested Astrid, was now talking to her.
‘You don’t seem very excited.’ Astrid was trying to figure out her friend’s train of thought.
‘I’m tired Astrid. It’s a lot to take in.’
‘Helen, I can’t believe this. Is it because your grandchild will be born out of wedlock? Or that its grandparents are separated? Are you scared this baby will be born into scandal? All nonsense. Under my roof that baby has nothing to fear. There will be no gossip.’
Helen shut her eyes briefly; this wasn’t a time for hesitation or hedging, but plain straight talking. ‘No Astrid, there is no baby. It’s a lie. Gabriel lied to Arnold.’
Astrid’s cheeks warmed. ‘No. Gabriel would never do such a thing.’
‘Oh no? My son isn’t a saint. You know that. Him and his harebrained schemes. Like going into the army, how silly was that when he was always such a non-conformist? I’m ashamed to say it, but Gabriel has no qualms about lying.’
‘Not this time, Gabriel would not lie about a baby. It’s you lying now!’
Helen stood motionless. Surprised that she wasn’t surprised by Astrid’s reaction. Astrid wanted this baby as much as Arnold, if not more.
Summoning up the last scraps of strength she had left within her, she spoke softly. ‘Why would I lie about such a thing?’
‘Because you don’t want me to look after the baby. And you don’t want to see Arnold happy!’ Astrid said triumphantly.
Helen flinched, shocked at how quickly the conversation had taken a nasty turn. She decided it wasn’t worth arguing further. She didn’t want to damage her relationship with Astrid. If Astrid wanted to believe in a lie, so be it.
‘I might go to the church for a while,’ she said in such a way that Astrid knew she had been excluded.
Astrid was at a loss as she watched Helen walk out the door. The boom gates had gone down. Helen didn’t want this baby. How strange, but then again, thought Astrid, Helen was under a great deal of stress. She sat at the kitchen table feeling wretched. Her day had started off so wonderfully.
Helen had always shared everything with Astrid. Now, suddenly, at this crucial time, she was being shut out. How could her friend abide sitting in that tiny church all alone in that silent, sanctimonious, stagnant air, after hearing such news.
Helen’s response had been downright bizarre — accusing Gabriel of lying! It aroused suspicion in Astrid. Then suddenly it occurred to Astrid. Why of course, Helen wanted the family at the bookshop, or maybe she wanted Arnold to have them staying with him. One thing was certain: Helen did not want Astrid to have the baby. Why else had she rushed off to the church without a word of explanation?
She sat at her kitchen table, sliding her hand up and down the smooth green formica. Worn and familiar, it offered some comfort, but not enough to quieten her troubled thoughts. Having the young family stay with her was not to be. She was not a member of their family. No matter how much she did for them, or how good she was to them, or how much she loved them, nothing would give her membership to their exclusive club.
Soon she would lose Helen. And Vivian. There was no way of stopping them. She knew she would miss them badly, she already did. They were at the bookshop all day, every day, and each evening they brought back the smell of the bookshop with them. And each stage of the restoration conveyed a different smell. She dreaded the day when they would return from their work smelling of nothing.
Helen had invited both her neighbours to come to the bookshop. But to Astrid, books held no interest. She considered reading a solitary pursuit, and if there was one card game she hated it was solitaire. She felt a sudden urge to go to the casino, a destination she hadn’t been to since Helen had moved in.
*
Helen sat in a pew, hopeful that the sacred church air would settle her sense of panic; it didn’t.
She heard the back door open and assumed it was Astrid coming with a new torrent of questions. However the footsteps were heavy and torchlight shone across the church catching Helen in its beam. The unexpected company was Hendel.
He quickly lowered his torch. ‘I do apologise for disturbing you. I was going to lock up, but please stay … I’ll come back later.’ The torch beam formed a pool of bright light around his feet and left his face partially eclipsed in darkness.
‘Thank you,’ Helen sighed. ‘It’s good to sit here in the dark.’ It didn’t feel odd to be speaking with Hendel in the dark, in fact it felt restful.
‘Is everything all right Helen?’
‘Yes, of course. How about you?’
‘Oh fine, fine,’ he replied. ‘It’s wonderful to have you and Vivian staying with us.’ He hesitated for some moments. ‘I saw Gabriel today. He hasn’t changed.’
Helen began to feel alarmed. Had Gabriel told Hendel about expecting a baby? ‘Yes, Gabriel’s a regular comedian,’ she said. ‘What did he have to say for himself?’
Hendel laughed, ‘Everything. He told me all about the army. He’s an engaging fellow, that Gabriel,’ said Hendel with great affection. ‘You have two wonderful sons. It must be good to have them back home.’
‘Oh, yes, of course it is. They’re still a handful though, even now. They’re taking their time growing up.’
‘Better to have your sons Helen, even if they are a handful, than nothing,’ said Hendel, his face etched with sadness. Or regret. In the dim light it was hard to tell. He continued to speak. ‘And as for growing up … well, I am no expert.’
He stood there silent for a second longer as if wanting to say more, but then turned towards the altar, as if unsure which way to go, then left the way he had come.
*
Arnold studied the grasshopper collection he’d been given on Mr Doover’s death some years before. Mr Doover’s relatives had insisted that Arnold was the most worthy recipient of fourteen framed displays of dead grasshoppers, which had all yellowed and become tinder dry over time.
Feeling swamped by the enormity of the job ahead, he rubbed his forehead. Gabriel was right next to him going through boxes of costume jewellery.
‘How are we ever going to move all this shit?’
‘Ventures and collections, son.’
‘Whatever.’
Arnold trained his gaze onto Gabriel. ‘Where are we now? Mid-August. Your girlfriend, Ella, she’ll be twelve weeks pregnant by now. When do I get to see her?’
‘Not before you start moving this crap. I can’t bring her here like this — where would she sit?’ He flung out an arm and promptly knocked a pile of boxes to the floor. ‘How about a continuous garage sale.’
Arnold rubbed his forehead again. ‘A continuous garage sale? Maybe,’ he muttered, for his thoughts were still circling around Ella and why Gabriel was keeping her hidden.
‘Great. Let’s start now. Right now!’
Gabriel’s command startled Arnold out of his musings, ‘What? Ah, once I’ve catalogued —’
‘No. No. No. And No! Sell it! A continuous garage sale. It’s easy, slap up half a dozen trestles. Few signs. Bingo!’
‘Gotta see what we’ve got first.’
‘Quit stuffing around!’ Gabriel yelled. ‘No cataloguing. No sorting. No farewell parties. Just throw it out there for the hungry gatherers of useless items and rake in the dosh.’
Arnold was lost. The thought unnerved him. ‘We shouldn’t rush things.’
‘Rush things! I’ve got a pregnant girlfriend!’
‘Leave me alone.’
‘It’ll be a pleasure to leave you alone. I’m off to watch TV.’
It bothered Arnold that he hadn’t yet seen Ella. He’d like to see the evidence with his own eyes. Maybe she was just spinning Gabriel a story to make him marry her. Or maybe it was Gabriel spinning him a line. But he didn’t want to doubt it, he’d had a gutful of reality; it was too awful.