Acknowledgments

I have learned some valuable life lessons during the process of writing and publishing this book. I discovered that the opposite of rejection is not just acceptance—it’s also perseverance. And in the six years this project has gestated, I’ve learned to persevere—with the help of a great many people. I’m grateful to the many hearts, minds, and voices that joined in the creation of this book—you know who you are.

First of all I want to thank clients, students, and workshop participants who have inspired me with their courageous stories, perceptions, and wisdom. Each day brings something new and valuable to learn from them, and this book is the best way I know to give back what I’ve learned. Their individual stories have become collages, a way of reaching out to many people.

Thanks to my literary agent Victoria Shoemaker who shared my vision of Don’t Take It Personally! and whose optimism and encouragement kept me going. Thanks to Kimn Neilson for teaching me to become a better writer in the process of skillfully editing my book proposal, and to Farrin Jacobs, my editor at New Harbinger, who has been a delight to work with as she performed magic with the manuscript right before my eyes. I’m indebted to Isaac Mizrahi for his perceptive and thoughtful feedback. I’m grateful to Maire Farrington and Anna Rabkin for their valuable input. Thanks to Habib Douss, Jennifer Miller, Bruce Klein, Barry Berkowitz, Mollie Hazen, and Nancy Suib for their important contributions.

Several people have helped fashion my thinking over the years, and the pages of this book are infused with their ideas: Eric Greenleaf, Eliana Gil, Joan Sangree, as well as Norman Fischer, Reb Anderson and the other teachers at Green Gulch Farm.

I’m also appreciative to authors Susan Jeffers, Susan Page, Thomas Farber, Janet Wolfe, and Stuart Hart for their mentoring, accessibility, wise counsel, and encouragement. A special thanks to Sebastian Orfali and Beverly Potter for teaching me about publishing and promotion.

Thanks to Herb Bivins, co-owner of Black Oak Books in Berkeley, California, who believed in this book from the beginning. Every time he’d ask, “How’s that book coming?” I’d feel more and more like an author. Don’t Take It Personally! came to be because of this kind of ongoing encouragement from Herb and others.

I value the long-term sustainment I’ve received from enduring friendships. Sima Blum and I have known each other from high school days in Baltimore, and Allan Wolfe, another Baltimore friend, was the first person to urge me to get started on this adventure. My friendships with Bette Cooper and Larry Grusin go back to the University of Alabama. In fact, the title for this book (which was just a gleam in my eye at the time) came from a comment Larry made years ago after reading one of my articles. And thanks to John L. Blackburn for figuring sooner or later I’d grow into my capabilities.

I’m grateful to other longtime friends and colleagues who have offered sterling contributions to this project—especially Steven Salomon, Ruth Belikove, Marilynn Denn, Audrey Fain, Mary Gullekson, Lynn Taylor, Richard Friedlander, Gail Glassberg, Julie Kovitz, Harry Pasternak, and Phyllis Gorelick.

There’s no question in my mind that I persevered because people thought to ask, “How’s that book coming?” I’m especially grateful to the caring and support from the community of people at Green Gulch Farm. Thanks to members of the Emeryville Toastmasters and the Speaking Circle for helping me develop my ideas and skills. And to local members of the National Woman’s Political Caucus and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists for cheering me on. I appreciate the encouragement from folks at the Mind-Body Connection in Oakland and in and around the French Cafe.

I owe a special thank you to the three muses who sit on my shoulder. First, there is Marcia Blacker, my Omaha Central High School English teacher, the first person to encourage my writing when she entered one of my stories in a contest. I lost the contest, but many years later I found Marcia, and we’re still in contact. The other two muses are Drs. Hal Bailen and Raymond Biase, who believed in me and nurtured my physical and emotional well-being for many years. They had so much to give but then it gave out. I miss them and wish with all my heart they could be here—but I’ll bet they know this book is happening—how could they not?

Finally, I want to thank the members of my family who have applauded my efforts, especially my daughter, Jocelyn Savage, for her wise insights and ability to offer just the right words of love and encouragement, and my brother, Lee Raskin, for his valuable advice and dedicated support. Hey, we did it!