CHAPTER 8

MEET

MAKING THE MOST OF THE ENCOUNTER AND ENSURING YOU KEEP IN CONTROL

Whether you have connected successfully with someone via a cold call or at a networking event, you’ll have arrived at a point where you are about to MEET – the third stage in our business development process.

Sure, we’ve invented tonnes of novel ways to communicate with one another: email, phone, videoconference, teleconference, Skype, Facebook and so on. All have their merits, but I don’t care what anyone says: if you really want to know whether you should spend decent money with someone on something that matters to you, you feel much better if you’ve met them properly.

The ‘sit down, let’s have a chat about our businesses’ is where we find out whether we want to buy from this person: do we trust them and their product? The meeting is about the face-to-face stuff. It’s about putting the prospect at ease with some small talk. It’s about creating an atmosphere that’s professional yet relaxed. It’s about asking the right questions, shutting up, noting down what you learn. It’s also about keeping control and not leaving – under any circumstances — without them knowing that you are keen on working with them. And it’s always about you parting with both of you knowing what’s going to happen next and when it’s going to happen.

The Meeting

The purpose of this meeting is to find out about the person, their role, more about the business, and whether what you have on offer might be of interest to them.

Some people get bogged down in listing lots and lots of questions in such meetings. I don’t: for me, this is more about seeing whether we get on but with a bit of information gathering on the side.

Choosing the Venue

Unless circumstances dictate otherwise, I would always plump for going to visit the other person. It shows that you are keen and prepared to go out of your way, you learn loads more and because they are ‘at home’, they’re relaxed, which means more open and more forthcoming. It also opens up the possibility of meeting other relevant people within their organization while you’re there.

I recently went to a firm in Bristol to meet the HR and training manager, with whom I was getting on really well, when she mentioned that although she wished to go ahead and use me to do some training, it was her boss, David, who had the final say. So naturally, I asked if it would be possible just to say hello to him, if he was in the office. As it happens he was but couldn’t see me. However, it’s always worth asking.

If going to their place is not an option, then a coffee shop convenient to them is my venue of choice. I always pay and so should you, or at least offer to pay. It’s polite and brings in that bit of reciprocity I mentioned earlier. Always opt for coffee rather than lunch. Lunch is too formal, difficult to make notes during, commits them to at least an hour and a half and is just too intimate at the beginning of a relationship.

Taking Other People Along

There might be occasions where you think the person you are meeting would benefit from seeing one of your colleagues at the same time. I wouldn’t rule this out, but you must always ask them if they mind, during the correspondence between you when setting the meeting up. To turn up without having run it passed them could be viewed as a tad pushy. You must explain to the person you are meeting why you think it would be of benefit to them to meet this second guest.

A partner at a law firm I recently worked with told a story of having come from an in-house role, inviting a former colleague to meet for lunch, just to make sure the relationship was still strong and to see if there was a possibility of him being given work from his previous firm, only to have two partners get wind of it and invite themselves along for the meal. While I’m sure their intentions were good, their new colleague felt awkward at turning up ‘mob-handed’; but not half as uncomfortable as his former colleague, who felt as though he had been ambushed and was being press-ganged into pushing business their way. Three onto one is not fair!

Before You Set Off

This is obvious, but I make no apology for bringing it to your attention. Make sure that you know where you’re going. If the organization has more than one office, check to see which one the person is expecting to meet you at.

Print off a map, get the relevant A to Z, boot up the satnav and be sure of your route and how you are going to get there – bus, cab, tube, plane or whatever. And make sure you know how long it will take and then add some time to allow for delays, hold-ups and missed trains.

Six months ago I needed to get to Uxbridge. I knew that the Piccadilly line ended there, but didn’t appreciate that it takes nearly an hour from Holborn. Because it was on the tube network, in common with many people not native to London I had just assumed that no journey was ever going to be more than about 20 minutes’ duration. Needless to say, once I realized I was going to be late I immediately got in touch with the person I was meeting, explained the position and apologized profusely.

It’s my experience that most people are quite understanding and accommodating when visitors are late, but only so long as you let them know and apologize. It’s not knowing that annoys the pants off people.

Professional sales people are rarely late, because they understand the important role that trust and dependability play in securing business. In fact, let me tell you a story that illustrates my point and tells you something about how sales people regard training as well.

A few years back I delivered a one-day course on presentation skills to three senior sales managers. It was held in a small conference room at a hotel adjacent to Heathrow airport. The course began at 9.30 am. One of the delegates had flown in from Houston, Texas, the other from Rio de Janeiro and another from Dubai. With the exception of the guy from Texas – who had got the wrong airport, landed at Gatwick but telephoned me, apologized and explained that he’d be 15 minutes late (in the event he was 12) – they turned up on time, participated in the course and then flew back to their respective home cities.

The feedback? Thankfully they all loved the course, but thought that it should be a week long.

The moral of the story is that sales people hate being late and even if they have to fly halfway across the world to learn something new, they will do, if they think that it will give them the edge over their competitors. Stephen Covey, in his renowned book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, lists habit number 7 as ‘Sharpen the Saw’. In other words, keep learning and giving yourself the edge.

Indeed, as I type I am listening to Sir Clive Woodward being interviewed on Desert Island Discs and he has just told Kirsty Young that in his office hangs a sign that reads:

‘Better Never Stops’

Another thing you should get into the habit of doing is ensuring that you have a pen, paper, diary, business card and any other information about your firm that you need to take. You may have seen an article in a newspaper written by an employee or perhaps one featuring the company as a whole. In either case, take it with you or simply make a note of the salient points. These sorts of things can be little belters in terms of moving the conversation on from small talk to business talk.

Email to Confirm

A day or two prior to the meeting, send an email just to check that all’s well to go ahead as arranged.

Once again, bitter experience has taught me the importance of this. I once set off at 5 am to drive from Manchester for a 9.30 am meeting in Norwich, at which it had already been agreed that a contract was going to be signed that meant a decent amount of commission for me. I got there only to have the other person sit me down in his office and tell me that he’d changed his mind.

I’m not proud to say that it was the one and only time I slammed a door when leaving a customer’s office. However, on my drive back from Norwich and having calmed down a little, I realized that a quick phone call (this was the days before email) the day before would have saved me a wasted trip and him what I’m sure must have been a cracked pane of glass in his door.

Do Your Research

A lot of people seem to think this is a major exercise, involving meticulous research and in-depth analysis of articles, clippings and all manner of data. It’s not.

Take a look at the organization’s website to get a feel for it, find out what it does, where its offices are and, while you’re at it, put all that info into your CRM system – if you work for a firm that’s got one – or just in the notebook, database or other record-keeping system that you use. Make a few notes and then when you’re in the meeting you can ask a few questions based around what you’ve learned.

When, during the meeting, the contact asks me how much I know about their firm, I usually mention a few things, but then say something along the lines of:

To be honest, I don’t know that much, which is why I prefer to come out and see people; I find that I get a much better feel of what an organization is about when I pay a visit than anything I can learn from a website.

On the Day

As you’ve probably sussed by now – and again, it’s obvious – get to their offices early. Ten minutes before the meeting is good, although turning up at reception 15 minutes early is a bit too much. On the rare occasions that happens to me – it’s pouring with rain and the cab has dropped me right at the door – then I let the receptionist know that I’m early and not to ring my contact yet. I don’t want them to feel under pressure to hurry and finish whatever they are doing.

You know what it’s like. If you’ve arranged for someone to come to your house at 10 am and they turn up at 9.50, it can really throw you. With 10 minutes to go you’re just readying yourself for their arrival – maybe a quick pop to the loo or application of lipstick, or just enough time to hang the washing out or set the table. Well, it’s no different for people at work. They may have given themselves 10 minutes prior to the meeting in which to take a look at your website or re-read the letter you sent them, or glance through your brochure and jot down a few questions they want to ask you.

If you are able to see someone perhaps up to an hour prior to the agreed time, it’s worth dropping them an email to ask if bringing the meeting forward would suit them better. Occasionally it does and then they’re really pleased. Make sure when you do get in touch that you make it quite clear that you are very happy to stick with the agreed time and that you are simply giving them option of the earlier time because it might be helpful and more convenient for them.

In Reception

OK, you have gone into reception and let the person behind the desk know that you’ve arrived. The chances are that the first thing they will ask you to do is sign the visitor’s book.

This little, much overlooked book is a fount of useful information, so when you sign in, make sure that you take your time to complete each section neatly and slowly, because as you write in your details you should be scanning the page to see who else has visited the company and, more importantly, the person you’re going to be meeting. In particular, you’re looking to see if any of your competitors have been in. What you learn here is not going to form the basis of any conversation you have with your potential client, but it’s good background information to have in mind.

Once the book is signed and you have in your possession the security pass, you should ask the receptionist where the loo is, even if you don’t need to go. Wash your hands, check your hair, your teeth, your nose, that buttons, zips and ties are done up and that your shoes are clean.

Once back in reception, try to avoid sitting down. Modern reception furniture tends to consist of huge, comfy sofas in black leather. The sort you can sink right into, settle back, grab a paper from the glass coffee table and get comfy with. Except there’s a downside: it’s devilishly hard to extricate yourself!

So in walks the guy you are due to meet and as he stands over you and proffers his hand in order for you to shake it, you are left attempting to slide yourself forward sufficiently to get some decent leverage with your feet on the ground, while at the same time pushing down with your arms into the deeply pliant, slightly shiny leather so you can push your body up, all the while conscious that his hand is still outstretched awaiting yours. When you do finally get yourself into an upright position, your hand is now black with newsprint and slightly damp because of the length of time it’s been in contact with the leather. Nice start!

So stand in reception. You want to greet the person you are meeting on the same level.

Do read the file that contains press clippings (loads of firms have them out on the table). Do also look at any awards on display, as these will provide opening topics of conversation.

If you are asked to wait in the meeting room for the person you are seeing, do not sit down. Wait until they come in and indicate where they are going to sit before you plump for your seat. If it’s a rectangular or square table, the best position is at right angles to your prospect (see the diagram).

c08uf002

Accept a drink. Even if it’s water and you just sip it, it’s polite and creates a more relaxed environment.

I visit loads of offices that occupy floors many storeys high and more often than not that makes for a decent view. If so, comment on it to your host when they enter the room. It’s a relaxed opener and you’ll be amazed how many people join you at the window and start giving a bird’s-eye-view tour of the vista in front of you.

In the Meeting

You’ve both settled in. Drinks have been poured, biscuits selected and now it’s time to kick things off with a bit of small talk. If you’ve done the ‘what a delightful view’ bit, then the other small-talk standards are fine.

That said, if there are photos of their children on the wall or paintings done by their kids, then comment on those. People who don’t have children will be aware just how much those of us with them like to talk about them. And people with children are well aware of just what a rich seam of small talk kids can provide.

Eventually, however, the small talk has to cease and the business at hand must be addressed. I think that when such a point arrives, you should be up front. I often say something along the lines of: ‘Well, I know that you’re very busy so first of all thanks for giving up your time.’ Then I reiterate why I wanted to see them in the first place: ‘I really wanted to learn more about the way you go about organizing training and development within the firm, as well as find out more about the organization other than what I’ve picked up from your website.’

Often the other person will ask you what you know about their business and it’s then that you can mention some of the stuff you managed to glean in your preliminary research. Then your conversation should use some of the strategies I explain in the rest of this chapter, such as asking the right questions and focusing on features and benefits.

Asking Questions

I reckon anyone with half a brain knows about closed questions and open questions, so I won’t insult your intelligence by telling you what you already know.

Similarly, it’s often the case that a book such as this will group questions into categories: reflective questions, enquiry questions, questions designed to seek commitment and so on. I don’t do that, because when you’re in a sales meeting – unless you’re sheep-like, insistent on following some kind of sales ‘procedure’ or schematic or cycle – then so long as you’re asking relevant questions, it really doesn’t matter in what order you ask them.

What I do strongly suggest you do, however, is consider the kind of questions you want to know the answers to prior to going into the meeting, and even write them down so that you don’t forget. Once you get confident with these sorts of meetings, you’ll find yourself asking roughly similar questions each time. However, as with small talk, it’s the listening that’s more important than the questions.

Of course, what you want to ask will be determined by what you hope to get from the meeting and then, as the meeting progresses, by the answers you receive to those questions.

Questions to Ask

It would be daft to try to list all the possible questions you could ask in such a meeting, but here are a few general ones, applicable no matter what you’re selling:

Why Questions

Why is ‘Why?’ not included in the list of questions?

A ‘why’ question is best avoided if possible, because when you ask somebody why they chose to follow a particular course of action or made a decision, you are asking them to justify that decision. And when you do that you are immediately putting them on the defensive, which you want to avoid when attempting to influence and persuade them to use your services or products.

Once again, this is all about how you phrase things. Words are seriously important, in that the meaning you intended to convey may not be the meaning the receiver interprets. You must choose your words carefully to reflect the way your listener speaks. You’ll only learn the answer to that if you really listen to them and pick up on the way they phrase things.

This whole area is known as psycholinguistics and forms much of the background to neurolinguistic programming (NLP). It’s not something I profess to know a huge amount about, so if you want to learn more, read some of the many books on the subject or, even better, get my sister to teach you: go to www.rebeccainspires.com.

Let’s look in more detail at a couple of the questions above. First, ‘Other than you, who else is involved in the decision of which supplier to use?’

You need to find out who makes the decision and who signs off the money. They may be two different people and you need to know.

If you are sitting in front of the decision maker but not the person with the cash, you need to ask them, one, the name of that individual and two, whether they can arrange to meet up with them; the name of the M.A.N., in other words.

Let’s say that Anya tells you that she’s the decision maker but that she has to run costs by Holly. You need to ask – there and then – whether Holly is around and whether you can meet her. In addition, the relationship between you and Anya is, at that moment, HOT, so she’s far more likely to be amenable to your request.

There’s another reason for this too. You are always going to be the best person to sell what you are offering. Anya may love what you do, but with all the will in the world she cannot convey the same depth of knowledge, passion or enthusiasm for your product or service as you can; and if you’re selling a service that’s doubly true.

So the conversation might go like this:

YOU: Aside from you, Anya, is there anyone else involved in deciding which supplier to go with?
ANYA: Well, I make the final decision but it’s my boss, Holly, who has to approve the cost of anything I suggest.
YOU: Great, at least that takes the pressure off you a bit, not having to worry about the pennies. It’d be really nice to get a chance to catch up with Holly and introduce myself, is she around today?

This does require you to be assertive, but it needs asking – strike while the iron (or hotplate) is hot and all that.

Anya may say: ‘Sure, I’ll give her a ring and see if she can pop in.’ In that case this is a massive buying sign, because if she didn’t want to buy then she wouldn’t waste her boss’s time by suggesting she meet you.

She may also reply along these lines: ‘She’s not about at the moment and anyway she will go with my recommendation.’ This may or may not be true, but accept it at face value and don’t push further. Simply make a note of Holly’s name and position, because she’s going to become someone to try to meet, perhaps via a networking event.

Secondly, ‘What kind of relationship do you ideally want from a supplier?’ This is a very touchy-feely question and one that I suspect many people don’t consider asking, yet it’s important.

It is too easy to fall into the trap of thinking about your organization as some kind of dispensary, dishing out products or services, and that customers regard you in the same way. But it is important to appreciate that it is the people within organizations who deal with one another and that, as such, there exists a relationship.

I’m reminded of some years back when my wife Lisa and I were considering selling our house. We invited three estate agents to view our property and to find out what they would do for their fee.

Fairly obviously, the primary reason we wanted an agent was to sell our house. We wanted a good brochure, to know where they would promote the property – press ads, websites, board outside and so on – and, of course, how much they charged.

However, there was more to it than that. We wanted to feel as though the agent was working with us rather than simply for us. We wanted them to really understand our motives behind moving and what we were looking to move into, and to appreciate our personal circumstances regarding times when we would be available for viewing.

We hoped to find someone who was as enthusiastic about our home as we were, but also who would be proactive, keep us informed but without hassling us every day. On the other hand, we certainly didn’t want to have to keep chasing them up to find out how things were progressing.

The point is, no one asked. Not one of the agents bothered to find out how Lisa and I would prefer to be dealt with. Each agent assumed that as long as they could assure us that they would sell our house, that was all that mattered.

The questions I have detailed above are simply there as a guide. You probably won’t want to ask all of them because if you’re listening properly, the answers you hear will prompt you to ask others that you may not have even considered asking.

As soon as I have asked the first question, I always ask the person whether they mind if I take notes. No one has ever replied ‘Yes’.

Taking notes allows you to recall what you discussed at a later date, prompts you to ask other questions and is a very clear indication to your prospect that you are genuinely interested in what they are saying.

Listen to their answers and watch out for opportunities to ask for business, or at least to move the conversation towards getting business.

Buying Signs

It would be impossible for me to list all the many and varied ways in which a prospect may express an interest (often referred to as a ‘buying sign’ by sales people), but here are a few:

All these are questions that would not ordinarily be asked if the prospect was not interested. So the conversation might go along the lines of:

‘Tell me, do you offer negotiation skills training?’
‘Yes, why do you ask?’

Or:

‘Do you offer half-day or full-day courses?’
‘Both. Which format do you normally prefer? Why, do you have anything in mind?’

Warning: There is a phenomenon in sales referred to as ‘selling yourself in and selling yourself out’. It is a blight often visited on the less experienced.

What happens is that the person selling has explained all about her product, the client says ‘Yes’ or gives a more subtle buying sign, but rather than stopping and getting the order signed, the seller carries on explaining more about her service or product. Meanwhile, the prospect hears something she says in her additional spiel, which causes him to have second thoughts. When she does finally ask for the business, he says that he’d better think about it and, on reflection, have a word with the finance director.

Again, selling is about listening, not simply information gathering. Sales people are always moving the conversation forward, looking out for opportunities to close the deal (I’ll talk about closing itself later).

Features and Benefits

This must be one of the first topics any budding sales person learns about: the difference between benefits and features.

At some point in this meeting you are going to need to tell your potential client about what it is you and your company do: what services you provide, the kind of organizations you currently work for and the kind of projects with which you are involved.

However, what you tell this person will be dictated by the information you have gleaned from the questions you asked.

Telling a prospect that you have offices throughout the UK is a complete waste of time if you know that they operate solely within the M25. On the other hand, if they have mentioned that they have plans to open another depot/branch/office in the North West, then letting them know that you’ve a place in Warrington would be a great idea.

You need to do this, as it lets them know that you have listened to what they’ve been saying.

The temptation to trot out a stream of facts about your firm, product or service is a strong one. Often this is delivered like an automated response and in a state of nervousness, as if you were an understudy delivering lines for the first time who just wants to get it over and done with:

The final one is trite, meaningless rubbish, but it’s the sort of drivel that one hears all too often.

Let’s take the rest in turn.

Issues arising out of such a statement might include: Who says? By what do you measure that?

If you are going to say something along these lines, it sounds much more credible if you can support it in some way: ‘According to independent research carried out by our industry’s professional trade association, we are the largest provider of X in the UK.’

But so what? I’m not being flippant here, but what do I care that you are the biggest in the UK, even if you have just supported it with evidence? In fact, while you might think that being the biggest is great, I might be thinking: ‘I don’t want to deal with some huge, faceless organization. What I want is a smaller, more caring firm.’ Or: ‘You won’t want my business in that case because I’m too small for you; you probably just deal with the big firms, don’t you?’

Possible issues might include: ‘You must be expensive then, because running 12 offices costs money, transport, lighting, heating, rent etc. and I don’t want to be paying for that when I buy stuff from you. I’ve just got a place in Sevenoaks, so I need only deal with a firm in and around London.’ Or: ‘You will be too bureaucratic to deal with. It’s easier just dealing with one office.’

The response might be: ‘I have no idea what CDR is but I don’t wish to be seen as unintelligent by asking so I’ll just nod.’

The vast majority of lawyers will know that CDR refers to commercial dispute resolution, the department that deals with breaches of contract, health and safety regulations and employment issues.

It’s easy to use language with which you are familiar and to assume that everyone else knows what you’re on about. Of course, you’ll know whether you can use such specialist language if you have asked the right questions and listened to the answers, because you’ll have found out the extent of the person’s knowledge. Indeed, they may well have used technical, industry-specific language in their responses to you.

Other issues with this statement are: ‘Is 35 a lot?’ ‘Does that make you a big player within CDR or a small one and anyway, so what?’

Simply mentioning a figure to someone who has little knowledge of your profession has no meaning to them and therefore has no impact or, worse, it conjures up a negative thought. They may think that 35 makes you a big player and therefore impersonal and expensive, or a small fish and not able to cope with more detailed stuff or to handle big orders.

Instead, look to sell the benefits:

Wants and Needs

Appreciating the difference between wants and needs is vital and will enable you to be more precise in your questioning and reveal your prospect’s real needs.

Wants are expressed, whereas needs are the implicit desires and wishes that lie behind those explicit wants. An easy illustration explains the difference.

You are my boss and you are conducting my annual appraisal. It goes well. I’m enjoying my work and you’ve told me you think I’m doing a great job.

Towards the end of the appraisal you tell me that you are awarding me a £2000 pay increase.

‘Oh,’ say I, ‘I wanted £6000.’

You tell me it’s £2000 I’m getting, so I repeat the fact that I want £6000.

We argue, haggle and eventually agree on £4000.

You aren’t happy, because that’s £2000 more than you’d budgeted for and now you’re going to have to award the other three members of the team the same or explain to them why you thought I deserved an extra £2000. On top of that, you’re also going to have to justify the decision to your boss (no one makes decisions in isolation), all of which is a thorough pain in the neck.

At the same time, I’m annoyed and disgruntled because it is £2000 less than I wanted; I feel cheated.

In a situation such as this, there is only one way you can satisfy my demand for £6000 and that is to give it to me. That’s what I want and that’s the only way I will be satisfied.

What if, instead of accepting that demand (‘wants’ are demands), you acknowledged it but then asked me how I’d arrived at that figure and why I needed that kind of pay increase.

There may be loads of reasons why I need £6000:

So listen intently. Your prospect will come right out and tell you what they want. Your job is to ask more questions, listen and uncover what lies behind those wants: what do they really need?

Once you know their needs, then you can go about addressing them.

When in recruitment, I once received an email from a relatively good client asking for a meeting to discuss a reduction in our fee. In fact, the email stated that unless I was prepared to reduce our fee from 20% of the first year’s salary to 15%, there was no point in meeting because 15% was what he wanted.

I politely replied, saying that on this occasion we would not be prepared to drop to that level and that therefore I didn’t wish to waste his time. And that was an end to the matter; or so I assumed.

However, three weeks later, Dave telephoned to ask me to come in for a meeting, although he was keen to stress that he still wanted the 15% rate.

We met and for 20 minutes Dave and the HR manager, who I did not know was going to be present, gave me the reasons why they wanted 15%.

‘We want to reduce our costs.’

‘We want you to do what another three agencies have done and reduce your fee to 15%.’

‘We want you to know that we are firm on this and will not be moved.’

I nodded politely to all their concerns, but stuck to my original position of not reducing our fee. I reasserted why we charged what we did and reminded them of the strong relationship we had built up over the years and the very high level of service they received from us.

As the meeting went on, Dave began to relax and his demeanour became more amenable. He started to tell me about the changes that had taken place within the firm and that now he had to report directly to the Managing Partner, who was the kind of guy who wanted to be kept informed on a monthly basis of all expenditure, in contrast to the previous set-up, where Dave was pretty much his own boss.

That is when I realized what Dave ‘needed’: he needed to get his boss off his back. He needed to be able to show his boss that he was a dynamic practice manager who could control costs and screw suppliers down. He needed to be able to go back to his boss and show him that he had reduced recruitment costs.

By my sitting there and listening to Dave, allowing him to let off steam, he had finally revealed the real need behind his expressed ‘want’. What is more, his telling me that three of his suppliers had already reduced their fees meant that he could go back to his boss saying he’d be saving money; just not from us.

However, I also pointed out something he had not thought about. Namely, if I received the CV of a lawyer in whom he might be interested, I’d naturally send that CV first to firms that would pay a 20% fee rather than 15% (unless the candidate in question had specifically asked to be forwarded to Dave’s firm).

Listen to what people are really saying. Do not accept their expressed ‘wants’ at face value. Sit back, ask more questions and find out what ‘needs’ lie behind them. And then seek to address those.