Kitty surveyed her appearance in the mirror. Somehow, her eyes appeared rather larger than they used to. Perhaps her face was indeed thinner, as Amelia had said. It was definitely still pale. Otherwise, thanks to Martha’s help, she was looking fashionable with her hair swept up and little tendrils carefully arranged around her cheeks and behind her ears. Martha clasped the pearl necklet round Kitty’s throat.
‘There, miss, you do look fine.’ She smiled at Kitty in the mirror. Kitty considered the smart dress of sprigged muslin. The soft pink material gave her a little colour and set off her chestnut hair beautifully. She put her chin up.
‘This time I am using my appearance as a weapon,’ she said.
She shook her head when Martha offered her the sling. ‘My shoulder is better now. In any case, I shall not need to move my arm very much.’
‘Where is your sling?’ In the drawing-room great-aunt Picton inspected Kitty.
‘I really do not need it any more,’ said Kitty, trying to smile at the old lady. ‘Besides, it would ruin the appearance of this lovely dress Miss Dilworth has made.’
Lady Picton nodded. ‘It is charming, I agree. That light pink is exactly the right colour for you. But I do think, my dear, that you have grown thinner, even since you returned to me. Are you sure you feel well enough for this outing?’
‘Indeed, ma’am. With such a close friend as Amelia, I can be at ease – and you may be sure she will look after me.’ Kitty made a little business of pulling on her pelisse and adjusting her bonnet. It is time I showed my face again or people will be thinking I have left town. Now, where did I put my parasol? Oh, there it is.’ She went over to the side table near the door to pick it up.
Lady Picton still sounded anxious. ‘Very well, dear child. But do not stay out too long. I could wish you looked more robust. What your dear mother would say if she could see you, I dread to think.’
Every step downstairs and out to the waiting carriage was more difficult than the last one. Several times, Kitty was tempted to give up. However, she kept reminding herself that she had nothing to be ashamed of. If people were going to point at her or ignore her, she would simply pretend not to see them. Amelia would not abandon her.
At that thought, she suddenly realized that Millie might well be as heartsore as she was herself. They had not discussed anything but Kitty’s adventures and recovery so far. She promised herself to see what she could do to cheer Millie up. She managed a smile for Broome, holding the door open for her. Then she halted in surprise. Freddy was waiting on the step. He laughed and offered his arm. Kitty took it gladly.
‘How splendid,’ she said warmly. ‘I had no idea you were back.’ As he helped her into the barouche she felt relief to know that she now had another friend to support her in this first outing. However much other people might shun her, she knew that Freddy and Amelia would remain loyal.
Freddy jumped in and took the seat opposite Kitty and Amelia. He smiled at Kitty, then his eyes turned to Amelia. Kitty saw the tender look they exchanged. Her eyes sharpened on them both.
‘I do believe,’ she said slowly, ‘that you have something to tell me.’
They both looked embarrassed but then Freddy grinned. ‘How quick you are, Kitty. Yes, we have settled it between us.’ He reached for Amelia’s hand as he spoke.
‘At last!’ said Kitty, ‘I almost despaired of ever seeing you reach this point. Oh, Millie, how wonderful.’ She embraced them both, laughing with pleasure.
‘Knew as soon as I reached home,’ said Freddy. ‘Shouldn’t have left her. Told m’mother and set off back again.’
Kitty turned to Amelia. ‘You said nothing of this when we were talking yesterday – you were your usual calm and composed self.’
Amelia blushed. ‘This only happened last night.’
They were in such a state of happy excitement that they had nearly completed a full turn of Hyde Park before they stopped discussing the glad news and paused to look about them. Suddenly, Kitty’s pleasure drained away. She was delighted for her two dear friends but their happiness only served to emphasize the stark contrast with her own situation. Where was Theo? Not that it mattered to her, she reminded herself yet again. He had accepted marriage with another. She would not demean herself by clinging to her belief that he loved her. It was over.
As if to rub salt in the wound, their carriage slowed down in the press of traffic alongside the barouche belonging to Lady Payne. Letitia noticed Kitty and whispered something to her mother. Both ladies stared for a moment, then turned their heads away. Kitty told herself she was being sensitive but she felt the snub keenly.
Just then Freddy raised his quizzing glass. ‘Hate to say it, Kitty’ he said, ‘but you are looking dashed peaky.’
‘I think it is time to leave the park,’ agreed Amelia.
Kitty did not have the strength to argue. She sat in silence, absorbed in her own thoughts. She was not going to be deterred by snubs but they did hurt. When the coach stopped she looked up and realized that they were not outside her aunt’s house but in Cavendish Square, in front of Caroline’s mansion. Before she could ask why, the other two were hurrying her down from the barouche, in through the door and across the entrance hall to the morning-room.
Caroline rose to greet them. ‘Hello, Kitty. I am so glad you are well enough to join us at last. And of course,’ she added with a laugh, ‘you have heard our good news. We are all so happy.’
‘Yes indeed. Just look at the difference in both of them. No more moping and not able to admit why.’ With a valiant effort, Kitty smiled. ‘I think Freddy and Millie are the only ones who feel any surprise.’ She saw how Millie was glowing. While delighted for her friend, it made Kitty realize just how difficult the coming weeks and months were going to be for her.
Through the open door they heard the sound of voices in the entrance hall.
‘Ah, that will be William.’ Caroline moved towards the sound. She held out a hand to Kitty. ‘Come with me, if you please.’
Mystified, Kitty followed her out of the room. She looked behind her but the other two made no move to follow.
Caroline pulled the door shut. She gave Kitty a conspiratorial smile. ‘Well, they finally managed it. I could not be more pleased for them. But what about you, darling?’ She guided Kitty over to an ornate mirror and turned her to look into it. ‘I can see you are pining. You should not be so pale.’
Kitty stared back at Caroline’s reflection. She drew a deep breath. ‘Do you not know you are talking to a social outcast?’ She could not keep the anger out of her voice. She clutched her reticule, feeling lonely and hurt.
Caroline gently turned her round and gave her a hard look. ‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Kitty. That is all fustian, dreamed up by a couple of jealous cats. Besides, when did you ever care about gossip?’
Kitty blinked hard. ‘You are right. It is just that.…’ She heaved a sigh, biting back the urge to mention Theo. ‘Dear Caro, always sorting out our problems, just like when we were naughty children.’
‘Sometimes,’ remarked Caroline with asperity, ‘I wonder what has changed.’
Kitty was saved from replying by the arrival of William. He beamed at them both. ‘Good news, eh?’ he remarked to Kitty, nodding towards the morning-room. He gave a wicked smile. ‘We will allow them a few minutes’ peace. I shall be in the library. I will rejoin you all shortly.’ He disappeared into his book-room.
Caroline slipped an arm through Kitty’s and walked with her towards the back of the vast house.
‘We shall have to set about arranging a splendid ball for the new young couple, just as soon as my mother can reach us.’ She chattered on, leading Kitty through the ballroom and along another wide passage.
Puzzled, Kitty walked with her. She supposed they were simply giving Freddy and Amelia a little time to themselves. At the entrance to the conservatory Caroline stopped. She withdrew her arm.
‘You walk around in here for a little while, darling. I have just remembered something. I need to consult William about our visit to the opera tomorrow. I will not be long.’
What was going on? Kitty, still feeling miserable and sad, wondered if she was being deliberately left out of some family consultation. She could not possibly be bothered to look at the plants. She sighed. It was beginning to sink in that she would not be as close to Millie in the future. She put her hand against the trunk of a large potted palm. It’s rough texture felt appropriate for her current state of mind.
Giving herself a mental shake, she took a few steps forward towards where the late afternoon sunshine shone through some delicate ferns.
It was at that point that she realized she was not alone.