Natalie
You will be hearing from my solicitor, but I thought it politei to inform you myself first. Under adviceii and with little choice given your inability to discuss such matters reasonably, I am in the unfavourable position of having to take legal action against you (see enclosed).
As I’m sure it will yoursiii, this breaks my heart. I have triediv to reduce the sum as much as possible. All the legacy itemsv have been halved, though of course you have already lost your own half, so your total deficit is nearly doubled. I wish it could have been different.
I have also halved the rental cost of the Richmond flat, because in theory we were living there together, though of course we both know I left for half the summer because you became unbearablevi. Gas and electricity are difficult to calculate for the period, so I have let you off there.vii
My sadnessviii is in knowing that none of this would have been necessary had you been able to show me some respect and follow through on your offer of friendship. I have tried to settle with youix, but your stubbornness has made you unable to recognise a friend when you need one, and this, I’m afraid, will now have to serve as another part of your learning processx. A lesson more expensive than any of those at Drake.xi Perhaps now you will understand that getting your own way and having everything on your own terms is both expensive and lonely. Perhaps, anyway. No doubt you will find a way to blame this on me.xii
I am willing to discuss this:
I am sorry it has come to this. I tried not to believe it for a long, long time, but I fear I was avoiding the truth: you are cold, Natalie. You give me goose-bumps.xvii
Yours sincerelyxviii
Matthew Wrightxix
*xx
Details of funds to be recovered from Natalie Lucas of 30 D***** Road, Durham, YO** 4**
| Rental legacyxxi Durham flat/house @ 50% of £53,000 | 26,500 |
| Furniturexxii (private purchase) | 1,254 |
| Travel to and from Durham | |
| (two visits with regard to the rental legacy)xxiii | 150 |
| Decorations/books, etcxxiv | 70 |
| Three months’ rental of Richmond flat @ 50% of £2,550 | 1,275 |
| Theatre and foreign travel legacy @ 50% of £12,195 | 6,097 |
| GRAND TOTAL | £35,346 |
i Given circumstances of letter, this is clearly nonsense
Purpose is to establish the illusion of politeness.
ii Seeks to establish diminished responsibility.
iii Still attempts empathy.
iv Won’t be seen as villain.
v Natalie didn’t write the terms of the will _ you can’t sue someone for breaking up with you, can you?
vi EXTRAORDINARY! Can’t maintain the facade of civility ? not v. Precise!
vii Adopts tone of disappointed parent ? massively SUPERIOR!
No rent was ever discussed that summer _ would this hold in court?
viii Already claiming kindness again!
What a martyr!
ix Reiterates martyrdom
x Always “the teacher”, even now!
xi dismissive of:
– USA?
– Education?
– Women?
xii Can’t argue with that!
xiii surely a bluff
xiv seems a dig at perceived class/social status of ‘driver’
SNOBBISH.
Can’t retain a ‘dignified tone’ for long.
xv Is this what it’s all about? Jealousy?
xvi Efforts to seem reasonable imply the unreasonableness of the recipient
xvii can’t resist a good metaphor!
Incredibly creepy way to sign off a ‘formal letter’
exactly! Pretty emotive for a lawsuit notification.
xviii meant with sarcasm, or a staggering lack or self-awareness?
xix So, he’s suing her under his real name, even though Rose left the inheritance to Harriet and Albert.
xx Uses:
– short sentences
– formal language
– superior tone
plays on age/gender/experience to strengthen argument.
Everything is done and designed to undermine the recipient.
xxi This money doesn’t exist, right?
Why not claim for loss of wedding presents while you’re at it?!
xxii What furniture?
Are these just being cut down the middle?
xxiii Hardly her fault when she didn’t know about it?
xxiv Gifts?