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The ringing of the rusty triangle stirred me from my dreams of Delilah. I hadn’t dreamt of her in a long time. She was the one person I tried to block out of my life after that day. I let her down and broke her heart. I was a coward, and I spent the next part of my life running from that decision. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stared into the harsh light in my room. It wasn’t morning anymore. The clock read 1:00 P.M. I groaned and shifted in the bed, pain radiated out from my ribs and leg as my head pounded to a beat of its own. I reached for the nightstand only to knock the open pill bottle to the floor. The pills skittered to all corners of the room with a clatter. Zip jumped up and tried to get them.
“Zip, no!” I lurched forward to grab his color before he left the bed. Pain shot up my side and darkened the edges of my vision. I wrapped my fingers into his collar and held on. My teeth clenched. I tried to stay conscious through the next wave of pain.
The door cracked open and Delilah entered the room. She surveyed me trying to hold onto my dog. Zip attempted another leap off the bed and a grimace crossed my face. She walked over to Zip and scooped the wiggly heeler up into her arms.
“I’ll be right back. Let me take him outside.” She crossed the floor, gracefully avoiding several of the small white pills littering the rug. She shouldered her way through the door and went down the hall.
“Everything alright?” Kaleb’s voice echoed from the kitchen.
“Under control. I think Zip wanted some of Kade’s pain meds.” Her voice strained as she moved further away.
“Here, I’ll take him from you.” A chair scraped on the kitchen floor and Kaleb’s spurs rang out with each step.
“Thanks, Kaleb.”
Was it me or did her voice sound a little brighter when she talked to him? Did she have something going on with Kaleb? Is that why she is here? I straightened myself in the bed as her footsteps hurried back to my room.
“Morning, Kade. Or should I say, afternoon,” she said briskly. “I can get those for you.” She bent over and carefully picked up each stray pill. Her white T-shirt rode up on her lower back, revealing a tattoo that had horses and hearts on it.
“I didn’t know you had a tramp stamp,” I growled at her. She looked up sharply and glared. A look of hurt crossed her face.
“You don’t know everything about me.” She retorted before crawling further under the bed to reach a few more.
“Really? I know quite a bit.” I crossed my arms, my jaw clenched as I thought about who else saw her tattoo. A shot of jealousy bolted through me. I didn’t want anyone else to see her like that, and that thought surprised me.
She scooted from under the bed and sat back on her heels. She cocked her head as her black hair fell to the side. She pushed it out of the way before standing up.
“Like I know you and Kaleb have some sort of thing going on. I can see the way you look at him. You taking care of me is some sick joke to you, isn’t it? ‘Look at the poor, helpless Kade Kisment. He can’t even get out of bed on his own.’” I glared at her. Her brown eyes went dark as the color left her skin. I knew I was right.
“You are a jerk.” She twisted the cap on the bottle and threw it at me. It hit me in the forehead before I could catch it. She stomped towards the door, pausing over her shoulder. “You gave up every right to me the night you walked out on me...on us.” The door slammed behind her. She stormed to the kitchen. Her steps pounded on the floor. I could feel the vibrations in my room. Kaleb’s voice mixed with hers, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Then, the screen door slammed, and the house was quiet for a minute. I swallowed the pain medication I needed dry as the water glass was empty. I leaned against the headboard and closed my eyes until the door creaked open and Kaleb blocked the doorway with his big frame.
“When she comes back you are going to apologize to her.” He glowered at me.
“Everything I said was true.”
“You wouldn’t know the truth if it ran you over and gored you with its horns. Apologize when she comes back.”
“Or what?” What could he do to me? I raised my chin to him.
“I am taking you to a rehab facility and leaving you there.” He crossed his arms. “Kurt already suggested that if you run out Delilah.”
“You wouldn’t,” I said, glaring right back at him. I hated that Kurt threw his money around to get people to do what he wanted.
“Don’t make me do it.” He was gone with the door shut firmly behind him.
Apologize to Delilah? Kaleb’s insistence all but proved that they had a thing going on. They were probably cuddling on the couch and having a good laugh at my expense. I punched my pillow and allowed sleep to replace the anger I had inside, at least for a while.
A couple of hours later, I couldn’t get comfortable. My back and butt hurt. My head ached and my mouth parched. My tongue was heavy in my mouth. The water glass next to the bed was empty, and my wheelchair sat across the room. There was no way I could hobble, hop, or crawl that distance. Plus, once I got there, I wouldn’t be able to lift myself into the chair. A sigh of frustration left my lips.
“Kaleb!” I called. No response. No steps came. No swearing at me that he will be right there.
“Delilah!” No response to that one either. The house was stiller than normal. I picked up my phone and called Kaleb.
“What.” He answered.
“I need help,” I said.
“Call Delilah or figure it out.” The line went dead with a buzz.
I scrolled through my phone. I didn’t have her on my contact list. I dialed the only number I remembered of hers. It went straight to voice mail, and it wasn’t a helpful voicemail as it was one that repeated the numbers back to me. I hung up. My only other option was to try Damien, Delilah’s brother, and someone who had been one of my closest friends growing up. It was the middle of the afternoon, but I was starting to become desperate. Damien’s phone rang a couple of times before he answered it.
“Hi Damien, it’s Kade.” We’d been friends for a long time. Hopefully, he’d help me. I crossed my fingers.
“Hey, buddy. How are you? Long time no see,” he said hesitantly.
“Could be better. Could be worse.” I laughed bitterly. “I’m home for a while with an injury.”
“I heard. The rumor mill has been busy.”
“Anything good?” I asked, maybe small talk will soften him up.
There was a silence from him. Damien wasn’t a talkative guy, but he was straightforward. There was something he didn’t want to share. “Nah, just all about you. Would you be up to going out some night? Pete needs a real bachelor party with the guys.”
“Sure. I can wheel it. I had forgotten that Pete was engaged.”
“He wasted no time. The gal is Melanie. You remember? She started the dress shop back up... A real sweetheart.” The unsaid hung in the air. If I’d paid attention to the people that mattered to me, I’d remember.
“I think I met her last time I was home.” She must have been the pretty brunette hanging around Pete. Good for him. “I was calling to get Dee’s number.”
Another silence.
“Do you want to talk to her?” His voice dropped and sent shivers up my spine.
“That’s why I called you.”
“Hang on.” It sounded like he put the phone down. “Dee, Kade is on the phone for you.” He shouted. Her response was muffled. Damien laughed. “Sorry bro, she says you can kiss her behind. That you are a self-centered jerk and unequivocal something that I am not going to repeat with my mother standing here.”
I sighed, that was so Delilah. “Fine, can you tell her I am sorry and... that I need her.”
A very pregnant silence followed, and it seemed to go on forever.
“What are you sorry for and why do you need her?” Damien was quiet, and the words rumbled in the air. “She is my baby sister.” The protectiveness of his little sister came through the line loud and clear.
“Tell her I am sorry for what I said to her today and I need her help to get out of bed.”
Damien gave a short sharp laugh at that. “I’ll tell her but that is all.” The line went dead.
What is with people hanging up on me today? I tried to plump the pillows. I scooted one down on the mattress to sit on. It helped the numb sensation in my lower extremities. I flicked the TV on to distract myself from the discomfort I was in.
On the eighth episode of Friends, the screen door banged. Finally, my salvation is here. Heavy footsteps stomped to my room and the door flung open like it was in a hurricane.
“Kade Tanner Kisment, you are the slime on a toad’s belly for calling my brother.” She stomped toward the bed. She never looked madder or hotter. Her cheeks were flushed a rosy pink. Her shiny black hair floated around her face and down her shoulders. Her T-shirt rode up her flat abdomen as she flailed her arms around her face so much I got lost in her looks.
“Are you even listening to me?” She shouted.
I mentally shook myself. “Huh?”
“You called my brother to have me come over.” She poked me in the chest with each word, hard.
“Ouch.” I rubbed at the spot. “I am sorry. I was mean but I need your help. Please.”
Her look softened a bit, and her arms went back to her side. She stopped for a second and then grabbed the wheelchair from the corner.
“You’ve never apologized to me before. For anything.” She said so quietly I almost didn’t catch it. She was right I never apologize for anything. Boy, did I have a lot to be sorry for with Delilah. She brought the chair closer and helped me in it. She pushed me out of the room into the hallway.
“Where to next, your highness?” She did an elaborate curtsy and gestured around the house. I smiled at her and got an almost genuine smile in response.
KADE WAS INFURIATING. When he walked out on me eleven years ago, he never looked back. I had called him and left him messages. No answer. But I had to get on with my life. I would have never thought I’d find myself pushing his wheelchair around the house. He wanted to go sit outside on the porch, so I wheeled him out the door.
“Where are you going?” He called over his shoulder as I set the brake and headed back into the house.
“To get some pillows or something. I bet your backside is sore.” I pushed through the door. “You don’t have any padding back there,” I muttered as I swept up some pillows and a comforter from the couch to add to the swing. “Here you go.” The swing swayed gently in the breeze as I arranged the pillows and blanket to pad the wooden swing. “You can sit here with your leg propped up.”
Kade rolled close to the swing. As he reached out towards me, our hands touched, electric sparks tingled up my arm as I helped him into the swing. The old flame of desire flared at his touch. It reminded me of how gentle and caring he was when we were a couple. He loved me and showed it all the time. I tamped down the old feelings and focused on being a nurse. The rust chains creaked as he sat down. His sky-blue eyes met mine and my heart pounded. I broke the contact, lifting his right leg onto another pillow. “Here’s some ice.” I packed it around the leg. I wiped my hands on my pants. He caught my hands in his and rubbed his thumb over the back of mine. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. Unsaid thoughts swirled in his eyes and drew me in. Was there still something between us? Could there be something between us? Or is there too much hurt? I mentally shook myself back to my job, trying to not let my heart fall for Kade all over again.
“Why don’t you get some sweet tea and sit with me?” He gave me big puppy dog eyes and motioned to the chair next to him. Could I sit next to him? Can I protect my heart? The wariness must have shown on my face. “Come on, Dee. I am sorry about this afternoon. I promise I will be nice.”
I sighed and pulled my hair back into a ponytail as I headed back into the kitchen. “Fine. I’ll get us some cookies and sweet tea.”
I handed him a glass of sweet tea and a package of sandwich cookies before plopping into the rocking chair next to him. I threaded my fingers together and placed them behind my head. The sun beat down on us. The cows mooed as they inched their way across the pasture next to the house, looking for blades of grass. The wind blew tiny gusts across the flat pasture, stirring up small twists of dust. I rocked back and forth. I tried to keep my thoughts from the man sipping sweet tea and munching on cookies.
“So, you and Kaleb are an item?” His quiet voice filled the awkward silence between us.
“No.” I scoffed. His expression was unreadable. “Why?”
“Isn’t Kaleb a nice guy? Or is he not your type?” He swirled the tea around in his glass. The ice cubes clunked together.
I cut my eyes to him. What was he getting at? Did I have feelings for Kaleb? Seriously, he was asking me that? I don’t even know what to say to that. “He’s a nice guy and I know a lot of girls in town find him attractive.” I narrowed my eyes at him and shrugged.
“You don’t like him?” He set his cookies down and leaned forward.
“Seriously, Kade. He’s like an older brother I don’t need. Damien is enough for one girl.” I studied him as he fidgeted on the swing. “Why? Are you jealous?” I tried not to smirk. That’s it. Kade Kisment was jealous of me and his older brother. Ha, that was funny.
“I can’t figure out why Kaleb has you helping me.” He shook his head but still did not meet my eyes.
“You ran away all the other in-home nurses and he figured I could stick with it.” I kicked off my shoes and drew circles in the air with my toes. The silence stretched on.
“He’s paying you?” Kade’s eyelids raised and his hand stopped midway to his mouth.
I turned to look at him and nodded.
“But don’t you have a job.” His brow wrinkled as if this was a hard concept.
“I quit my job. I told you that. And he’s paying.” I shrugged and reached over to steal a cookie.
“Are you only here for money?” He looked hurt and those big blue eyes widened into an incredibly sad puppy dog look.
“Really, Kade? I’ve avoided you and your whole family for the last eleven years. Do you think I would do this out of the goodness of my heart without getting paid?” I scoffed. I rocked back in the chair.
“No, I guess not.” He sucked down the rest of the sweet tea. “I kind’ve wished you did it just to be with me.”
It was so soft that I almost didn’t hear it. I guess I am going to ignore that comment. I rocked back and forth. The awkwardness got thick and I didn’t know what to say to that.
“I’m going to get dinner ready. Don’t eat all the cookies.” I grabbed my shoes and went inside.
DELILAH COULD ALWAYS see through me. I should’ve known she was going to guess about my feelings for her and Kaleb. The two of them together got my heart pounding and I wanted to smash something. I wished I had let it alone. Whenever I was with her, I had to remind myself that we were not together, and it was my fault as was most of what went wrong in my life. I didn’t deserve to have a woman like her. The banging in the kitchen interrupted my ruminations. Water ran in the sink as a knife thudded dully against the wood cutting board.
My cell phone rang in my pocket as a name flashed across the screen that I had not seen in a while. I swiped to answer it.
“Hello?” Trepidation clutched in my chest.
“Hey, Kade. It’s Veronica.” Her high-pitched voice made me cringe.
“How’s it going, Veronica?” At that, all the noise in the kitchen stopped. “Is everything ok?” For a second, I thought about how I had forgotten all about her and her daughter since I got hurt. Guilt consumed me. If something were wrong, I’d never been able to forgive myself. Veronica’s husband, Ben, was my traveling partner. When he died, I stepped in to make sure that they were taken care of.
“Yes. We’re getting by. I heard about your accident and was calling to see if there is anything I can do?” Her voice was sweet and almost pleading.
I sighed with relief that she was okay. “It was about a month ago,” I said as I ran my fingers through my hair.
She laughed nervously. “I’m a little out of the loop with Ben gone and all. I don’t follow the bull riding circuit like I used to.” She had a hint of sadness in her voice.
“No, it’s ok. I’m just recovering at home.”
“Do you need someone to care for you? Do you need any help? You’ve helped us so much; I want to return the favor.” She was stumbling over her words as she hurried to get them out.
“Nah, I’m good. My brothers have it handled.” I bit into the second to last cookie. Delilah’s shadow crept out under the screen door.
“Ok. Just let me know if you need any help.” She paused for a second. “Oh, Kade, you don’t have to send a check this month.”
“Are you sure?” I sat up and stopped chewing. I handled her finances and every month I sent her a check for living expenses. Veronica was a sweetheart, but Ben said she wasn’t good with budgeting. “Everything’s alright?” Nerves ran through me if something had happened to them, I’d never forgiven myself.
“Yep.” Her voice hit a high note and squeaked. “All’s good. We have a bunch of leftover from last month. We can make it work for a bit.”
“Alright. Let me know if you need more. Bye, Veronica.”
“Bye, Kade.”
I sighed and stretched my arms over my head, flinching as I forgot about the pain in my ribs. I set my phone down and closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cold chain. A shadow fell on my face as someone blocked out the sun.
“You’re unbelievable.” Delilah crossed her arms and glared at me. “You accused me of being something to Kaleb and you have a girl. What do you want of me? Just to make myself a nun?”
I shrugged. I didn’t want to explain the phone call or myself to her. She stormed back into the house, slamming the door. I closed my eyes and tried not to worry about Delilah or Veronica or any of their problems.
The wind blew softly, and the cows mooed close by. A horse trotted into the yard with its metal shoes clanging against the small gravel. The horse snorted and blew as the saddle creaked. Then, heavy boots clopped up the porch steps. Kaleb reached and took the last cookie from the plate that Delilah had made for me.
“It’s good to see you out of the house.” He propped one foot up on the edge of a chair and leaned towards me. “Feeling better?” I nodded at him. A loud crash came from the kitchen, causing us both to turn. “She’s still mad?”
“Yep, like a hornet.”
Kaleb chuckled and shoved the whole cookie in his mouth. “You do have that effect on her. I’ll go check it out.” He strode confidently towards the kitchen. He had a swagger to his stride that I haven’t seen in a while. Delilah might not have feelings for him, but he looked excited to confront her in all her rage. The screen door slammed behind him, and I strained to make out what they were saying, but all I heard was mumbling. A few minutes went by before Delilah came out of the kitchen. She swept by me without even a glance, gathered the reins of the horse, and swung on to his back. She clucked to him, and off they trotted down the lane and out of sight. Her black hair floating behind her contrasting with the grey horse.
“What do you want for dinner?” Kaleb leaned against the door. “Delilah burnt the noodles for the mac and cheese.”
“Sandwiches are fine. Where’s she going?”
Kaleb shrugged. “She just needs to ride it out. I told her to take the rest of the day off.” He went back into the kitchen. I watched the horse and rider get smaller on the horizon. My feelings for her both surprised and confused me. What was I going to do?