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The quiet afternoon was broken by a car door slamming. Birds sitting in the trees squawked at the intrusion of their nap time. I ran a soft brush down my appaloosa’s back. The white with black spots shimmered in the afternoon sun coming from the window. Footsteps made their way to the barn and the heavy barn door creaked open. Delilah’s voice cursed softly at the rust rollers. I continued to brush my horse. When I turned around, she was leaning over the half door. Her eyes were wide and misty looking like she had been crying. An overwhelming urge to wrap her in my arms and kiss her tears away surged through me. Instead, I set the brush down and step, clomp closer to her. I leaned on the door, waiting for her to speak first. Time seemed to stand still.
Delilah cleared her throat and pushed her hair back. “Thank you for the roses. They are beautiful.”
“You’re welcome.” I slid my hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. Sparks flew from our hands to my heart until tears leaked from her eyes and landed on our hands. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my lucky handkerchief. I dabbed the silk against her cheeks, catching the tears. I slid it back into my pocket as I leaned into her.
“Is that your grandfather’s?” Her eyes steady on the piece of fabric.
“It’s the one he gave me on my sixteenth birthday.”
She smiled slightly and looked off into space.
“Do you ever think of that day?” She sniffed and shook her hair, breaking into my one thought of kissing her.
“Yes.” Most days I thought of how our lives would be different, probably happier. Could I tell her that? Would she be ready to hear my confessions? More tears leaked from her eyes.
“I think of what that kid would have been like,” I said. I brushed her hair behind her ears. “I think about what our lives would have been like.”
She turned those big doe eyes to me. I got lost in their swirling depths, drawing me into their pools. Her breath fell soft on my cheeks as our foreheads touched. Before I knew it, her lips latched onto mine. Her soft hands cupped the side of my face bringing her closer. I wove my hand into her hair and drew her closer to me. Our lips danced together. They were demanding and sweet. Bitter but powerful. She drew back, panting. Leaning against the doorframe, I placed a hand on my pounding heart.
She gave me a watery smile before turning to leave the barn.
“Dee, wait. Where are you going?” I called. She can’t leave, not after a kiss like that. My feelings for her expanded and pushed against the barriers I’d put around them. I tried to maneuver out the door, but it was awkward with the boot. Hay tangled around my bum leg slowing me down and sawdust crept under my sock. By the time I got to the barn aisle, she was gone. That kiss was like no kiss before it. She wouldn’t get to walk away from us without a fight from me. I latched the stall door before heading up after her.
The house was dark when I’d entered it. The curtains were drawn over the windows to keep the bright afternoon sun outside.
“Dee, are you in here?” My voice echoed in the kitchen. The counters were clean. Dishes were stacked. I made my way to the living room. It was quiet in there. “Dee, come on. Let’s talk?”
A soft weeping came down the hall. I approached Katie’s room and pushed open the door. The amount of pink in the room made me cringe until I looked down at the bed. Delilah was curled up, facing the wall, and hugging a pillow to her chest. My heart broke into a million more pieces. How could I be so selfish? This day was hard for me, but it was a thousand times worse for her. I crept towards her and made my way onto the bed. I wrapped my arms around her and the pillow.
“It’s alright, baby, I’m here for you now.” My lips placed a kiss on the top of her head. She snuggled closer to me as I held her as tight as possible. The lavender of her shampoo washed over me, mixing with the smell of sawdust and hay from the barn. We laid like that until she stopped crying and drifted off to sleep, the tension leaving her body. She leaned into me, molding her body to mine. Contentment and something else I hadn’t felt in years stirred inside me, surprising me with the strength of my feelings for her. Her breaths came out in even puffs. My eyes grew heavy as the house got even darker. I struggled to stay awake for her, to be her strong protector.
MY EYES WERE SCRATCHY from all the crying and my head pounded like I had been out all-night drinking. The bed felt smaller than normal and an arm wrapped around my stomach. My back pressed into the hard planes of a man’s chest. I turned over to come nose to nose with Kade. His soft breath blew across my skin sending my heart skittering. I traced his features to commit them to memory. I wanted to kiss him. Come on, Delilah, he hurt you. But he was extremely sweet yesterday. My self-conscious was at war with herself. What to do? At that moment, his eyes fluttered open and he smiled at me.
“Morning, beautiful.” He pulled me closer to him. He was about to kiss me. My heart stammered and hammered. Then, he closed his eyes, sighed, and went back to sleep.
That was a close one. I pushed the quilt off us. Isn’t that the quilt that is in the living room? It is not from Katie’s ode-to-pink room. I slipped from his arms and tiptoed to the kitchen.
“Thank goodness, coffee,” I muttered as I poured it into a tall ceramic mug. A chuckle behind me made me jump. Luckily, I caught the cup before it hit the counter.
“Good catch.” Kaleb looked up from his paper. “Delilah, you look awful.”
“Thanks,” I snorted and grabbed a strawberry pastry. “Did you cover us up with a blanket?”
“Sure did. I didn’t want you to get cold with all of your clothes on.” He flipped the page and continued to read through the Classifieds. “I take it Kade did good?”
“I can’t believe he remembers.” I bit into the strawberry pastry, even though it was dry and crumbly.
“I think he has been hiding it from all of us for an awfully long time. That.” He gestured to the vase of roses. “was all his idea.”
If what Kaleb said was true, Kade had been hurting as much as I did. Wow, what a thought to wrap my head around. Did he leave me because of his pain? It wasn’t because he was freed from me and our relationship?
The pastry turned to sand in my mouth. I gulped the hot coffee to rid myself of the unpleasant taste. My eyes watered as my tongue burned and the roof of my mouth scalded. Kaleb watched me from across the table. His eyebrows rose.
“Surprising, isn’t it? To think that Kade may actually not be thinking only about himself?” He topped off my coffee cup. “It took me a long while to wrap my head around that one.” He grabbed his hat off the counter and tossed it on his head. “See you later, kid.”
The screen door shut behind him before I could even get in a word. I sat there in my chair until my coffee got cold. Did this change the way I felt about him? Was it all because he was hurt too? Is it enough to overcome him leaving me? What if I tell him about my feelings and he leaves, again?
No, it was best to keep everything close to my chest. I may not need a man, but I wanted the one sleeping in the pink bedroom. But what if he breaks my heart again?