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The ride back to the Kisment ranch was quiet. Delilah tried to start conversations, but I ignored her. I knew that everyone, except for my brother Kurt, didn’t understand. They didn’t understand the drive to win, how I worked my whole bull riding career to be in this spot. I was first in the nation before my accident and had now fallen to fifth, but the gold buckle was still within my reach. I needed to go, to prove myself, to fulfill my dreams.
Sighing, I glanced at the woman next to me. My heart filled with love for her, but it had hurt when she laughed at my chances of riding. I thought she knew how much this meant for me, how I had dreamed about this chance. Did she think I couldn’t do it? Did she not want me to ride anymore? Or was she just worried about my safety? I placed my forehead on the cool pane of the window and closed my eyes. How was I going to persuade her?
“I’m going for a ride,” I said when we parked by the house. “Do you want to come with me?” I rested my hand on the door handle.
Delilah hit the lock button and turned to look at me. “We need to talk.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Those dreaded words that no man wants to hear. I closed my eyes and sighed. “Fine.”
The seat creaked as she sild sideways and crossed her legs. She placed her hand over mine and squeezed. “Are you seriously considering riding at the finals?” She blew out a large breath and her eyes searched mine.
I turned my hand over and held hers between both of mine. My thumb ran over the creases in her palm. Lavender filled the car and filtered into my lungs. My eyes found hers. They sucked me into the depths. My love for her surged within me. I needed her in my life, but I also needed to ride in the finals. How do I explain how much she meant to me and how much bull riding means to me? I cleared my throat and reached out to tuck her loose strand behind her ear.
“Dee, you mean the world to me.” I slid my hand under her hair and rested it on the nape of her neck. “I need to ride at the finals.” She tried to pull away, and I leaned toward her until her back rested against the door. “I love you so much and hopefully you’ll support me in this.” She wrinkled her forehead. “If Dr. Glanders approves, of course.”
She swallowed. “Why do you need to ride so badly? What if you have an accident and die?”
“I need to do this to prove to myself I can do it. This might be the only time that I can win the Bull Riding Finals.”
She tilted her head to the side and squinted at me.
I cleared my throat and released her hands. I ran my fingers through my hair to stared out the side window. “I’ve failed so much in my life...I failed you when you needed me. I couldn’t be the man you needed...I’ve worked so hard to get to the finals and...I need to ride to finish the season.”
A tight smile pulled at the edges of her lips. She grabbed my hand, again. “Let’s just see what Dr. Glanders says at your recheck.” She climbed over the armrest and placed her forehead against mine. “I need you in my life and I can’t go through losing you again.” Her voice broke. “I love you too much. Please, stay in my life.” She pressed her lips against mine. “Now, let’s go riding.”