• • • • •
I hit my alarm clock and open my eyes. Then I reach for my glasses. It’s six thirty a.m., and the sun is shining through the window. (I stopped closing my blinds after the first time I saw the light. I figured, why close the blinds if all I want to do is see out?)
Seth is meeting me here at nine a.m. now . . . which took some work on my part, because he wanted to meet at noon after I suggested eight.
Downstairs I notice the silence and the coffee pot has the same amount of old coffee as the day before. Has he still not returned home?
At this thought, I walk to his bedroom and find his bed empty. Everything has remained in the same untouched position as the night before: the bedsheets, the half-pulled-out dresser drawer, the half-closed blinds. My heart pangs, and I call him again. But this time I leave a voice mail. “Hey, Dad. This is your son. Charlie. Um. Anyway, I don’t know where you are. Or why you aren’t home. I’m going camping for a couple of days with Seth. I know you haven’t met him, but he’s a good kid. We’ll be back on Wednesday, and I’m hoping you’ll be home then too.” I stare at the nightstand on my mom’s side of the bed, the place where her pictures were, and her jewelry box and some books. Now the nightstand is completely empty as if my dad didn’t want her personal belongings around; as if he didn’t want to be reminded of her.
I start to feel resentful at the awkwardness of his abandoned bedroom. I reach to press the end button, but stop. “I’m kind of pissed at you. Why did you just disappear? Why are you acting like Mom? I mean, I’m just a kid, for crying out loud. I think some fucking parental guidance isn’t too much to ask for. Or maybe just someone to eat a goddamned dinner with once in a while.” I hang up and slam the door to his bedroom. The old family pictures on the wall outside his room shake. We haven’t taken a new family photo since my mom left. It’s like, when she disappeared, our family did too.
I open the cupboard and notice that the cereal box is close to empty. I pull out the milk and don’t have enough.
This is just great.