*Isla*
“Can I come in?”
I stare at the girl, not quite sure what to say. I’m taken aback that she’s even here. What in the world could she possibly have to say to me?
And yet, it’s very difficult for me to tell her to leave. She looks so sad, standing there in the doorway, her bulging stomach protruding in front of her.
“Of course,” I say, gesturing for her to come over to the sitting area where I have a couple of comfortable chairs in front of the window.
We both sit, and I readjust my skirt several times, not sure what to say or do. Part of me wants Poppy to come in and say she has my breakfast, so I can at least have an excuse not to be able to talk. If my mouth is full of eggs, I won’t have to say anything to this doe-eyed girl who is looking at me like she thinks I have all of the answers to whatever ails her.
“I’m… Isla,” I say to her, and she nods. I have to assume she already knows that, but since no one is saying anything, I thought it might be a good way to start the conversation.
She brushes her dark hair out of her eyes. “I’m Sydney.” Her voice is quiet, a little bit louder than what mine used to sound like when I first got here and was terrified of everything. It seems like that was ages ago, not a matter of weeks.
“Hi,” I say. She only smiles at me. I clear my throat, not sure what to say next. “What pack are you from?”
“Well, I just came from Hill pack,” she says, her hand folded in her lap around her abdomen, her thumbs twisting around one another. “But before that, I was at Mountain Range pack. That’s where I grew up. My parents are the Alpha and Luna.”
I am actually a little shocked to hear her say so many words all at once. I nod. “That’s… nice.” I don’t know what else to say. I suppose it would be nice to grow up with your parents as the Alpha and Luna of a pack. She was probably the girl with all of the friends that everyone wanted to be like.
From the look of things, she may have had a boyfriend at some point, too, I am guessing, but then, what do I know?
Not much….
She shrugs. “It was okay when I was younger, but the older I got the more trouble I found myself in.”
“What do you mean?” I ask her.
“Well… boys, mostly.” She gestures down at her stomach. “I guess I had a hard time distinguishing between who really liked me for me and who was just trying to get into my pants.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what else to say. She shrugs again, and I feel extremely awkward, so I say, “I’m sorry.”
Is that an appropriate thing to say? I have no idea.
Again, her shoulders are all over the place. It’s like her shoulder twitch is some sort of a coping mechanism or way she defends herself.
“Yeah, well… I heard about you from one of the maids, and I thought I should come and meet you. I figured we had some things in common, and I thought, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, but it would be nice to know someone who is about my age.”
“Yes, that would be nice,” I say, but I’m honestly just being nice. From what she’s said so far, Sydney and I don’t have much in common. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I’m not sure that Maddox could be called a boy. I’m pretty sure he’s not my boyfriend or my manfriend. I don’t know what it’s like to have grown up the daughter of an Alpha and his Luna. Regardless of what Mystica thinks about my past, if I ever was a princess and lived a life of luxury, I don’t remember it, so that doesn’t count. I grew up pretty poor, and I only got poorer the older I got, until I arrived here, and while I guess things have been more than adequate since I arrived, regardless of how nice my room and other accommodations are, I’m still a servant here.
The castle isn’t necessarily my permanent home.
I don’t want to think about that though; the idea of Maddox throwing me out is terrifying–even if I did just try to leave of my own accord. That’s different than being asked to leave.
“So… when did you start?” she asks me, her eyes going to the bed behind me. I didn’t make it when I got up and Poppy seems to have dropped off the face of the earth, so it looks like it’s been slept in… by a couple of people… who didn’t care how twisted the sheets got.
Realizing all of this, my face turns a little red.
But I assume she’s asking about when did I start working here. “Not that long ago,” I tell her. I give her the exact date, and her eyes bulge.
Then she shakes her head and says, “Oh, no, not with King Maddox. Just in general.”
Confused, I ask, “What do you mean?”
“You know. As a breeder. When did you start having sex with men to have their babies and get paid?”
My breath catches in my throat, and I’m not sure if I should be more angry or offended. I repeat the same date I gave her before. “I was sold by my Alpha to King Maddox.”
“Wait–you’ve never done this before?” she asks, and I watch her eyebrows knit together.
“No,” I tell her. “I’ve never done any of this before.” I hope she understands that I’m saying I was a virgin before I met Maddox.
“Oh.” Her tone changes now, and she looks down at her shoes. “Shit.”
I don’t know what is happening. “Why did you think–or hope–that I’d done this before?”
Sydney takes a deep breath and blows it out, adjusting in her chair. Her stomach is so big, I am afraid she might give birth at any moment. “Well, a couple of reasons. First of all, I was hoping you would tell me the truth about how this baby is going to come out of me. Secondly, I was hoping you could help me get a job doing this for a living.”
I stare at her for a long moment. I can’t help her with either of those things. “Uhm, I’m sorry. I’m pretty sure that your pack healer has probably got better advice than I do about how babies really come out. I mean, my understanding is that they come out the same place they went in. And as for becoming a breeder… I never, ever imagined myself in this job. I just got sold into it.”
A forlorn look overtakes her pretty face. “Well, I know where this baby is going to come out. I just didn’t know for sure how. I mean, the healer said she’d do whatever to help it not hurt so much, but the pack healer here at the castle seems a little weird.”
I almost laugh at that, but I keep a straight face. “Mystica has been very helpful to me when I’ve been injured.”
Her eyes widen again. “When were you injured?”
I sigh. “It’s a long story.” I don’t have to tell her everything.
“Did the king hurt you?” She leans forward in her chair. “I have heard that he’s very cruel. Is it true–what they say–about….” She looks around like she thinks someone might be eavesdropping on us before she whispers, “His first wife?”
Clearing my throat, I take a deep breath before allowing myself to answer. I shake my head. “No, it’s not true. I mean, he’s never hurt me. He’s very kind.” I picture how angry Maddox was when I left the office yesterday. Sydney was there. She is already looking at me quite skeptically.
And honestly… I have no idea what happened to Luna Rebecca.
But I know Maddox didn’t kill her. He isn’t capable of that.
Is he?
“All right. Well, maybe we can still be friends,” she says, shifting again in her chair. She grunts a little and puts a hand on her side, and I think the baby might be kicking her. I can’t help but wonder what that might feel like, to have little toes pressing into one’s rib cage. It probably hurts.
Not sure how to respond, I take a moment. She only wanted to be my friend because she thought I could help her, and we don’t have much in common.
But I don’t really want another enemy either. I think of how awful it was having Zabrina in the castle. Even before she started killing, she was a menace.
“Sure,” I say. “We can be friends.” I force a smile to my face.
“Good. And who knows? Maybe someday our babies will be siblings.” I’m not sure if that’s a smile on her face or something else, something more… devious.
“What?” I ask her, my forehead crinkling.
“Yeah, well, just because King Maddox doesn’t seem to want this baby right now, that doesn’t mean he might not want it later. Or maybe he’ll pick me to have his second kid after you have one for him.” The shrugging is back, and this one is a big one. “After all, it is just a job, right?”
How do I answer that? After yesterday, she probably thinks that Maddox treats me like any other servant that works here. She probably thinks he comes in here and we have mechanical, robotic sex every once in a while and that’s that.
But he hasn’t even had Mystica check to see if I’m ovulating or anything like that.
When we make love, it’s not because we are necessarily trying to have a baby. We just… like being together.
I love him.
And even though he hasn’t said that he loves me in return, I know he cares for me.
“It’s not just a job,” I tell her. “It’s far too personal to ever be just a job. I mean, didn’t you have feelings for your baby’s father?”
She shakes her head. “No, and I don’t want to talk about that.” A dark shadow crosses her face.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to offend you. But anyway… Maddox is more than just my boss, more than just my king. I have feelings for him, and he treats me very well.”
A choked laugh comes out of her mouth, like she was trying to hold it back. “Okay then,” she says. Then she pushes up from the chair to standing. “If that’s what you wanna believe.”
“What do you mean?” I fly up out of my chair, too.
“Nothing. It’s just… I saw what happened yesterday. No offense, but that sounded like a boss getting onto a worker who had fucked up to me.” She starts waddling to the door. “I can’t blame you for wanting there to be more there, Isla. But I think… you might be delusional.”
I have no words, so I just stare at her.
Sydney opens the door. “I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re just a breeder to him.” She gives me what appears to be a sympathetic smile and leaves.
We are not going to be friends.