*Isla*
I am dreaming again. I know that it’s a dream because nothing I’m experiencing makes sense to me from my most recent memories, and as I puzzle over what I am looking at, trying to put it together, I’m struggling to figure out not only where I am but when I am… as well as who I am.
This feels different than the other two dreams I’ve had recently where it took me a while to realize that I was dreaming and then to figure out who I was, but I seemed to know when it was happening.
The sensations that surround me as I stand in this meadow and look at this young woman and young man who are obviously in love make me think that this dream is more like the memory I had of getting on the boat with my parents back when we fled Maatua, the dream I had when I was dying.
I know I’m not dying right now. I’m just sleeping. But this does feel like a memory.
The only problem is, as much as I feel a familiarity toward both of these people, I have no idea who they are.
The girl is beautiful, with large blue eyes and long caramel blonde hair that falls to her waist in soft waves. She’s wearing a fancy light pink dress, and I think this must be an important moment for her, as she is looking at the boy–or maybe he’s more of a man, a young man–and smiling.
He is quite handsome, and in some ways, he reminds me of a younger version of Maddox. He has the same dark hair, but his eyes are a jade green color. His jaw isn’t quite as strong, and he’s not nearly as muscular, though he is well built. Something about the softness in his gaze reminds me of someone else I know, but I can’t place that look.
The suit he’s wearing is nice, though the jacket is off, leaving him in black slacks, a white button-down, and a red bow tie. He also has on suspenders that make the whole scene seem a bit old-fashioned. But I know this isn’t a memory.
Unless it’s a memory from one of my ancestors that they’re projecting into my mind from beyond. Could these people be my parents? No, I don’t get that impression at all. They don’t look like my parents. And I’ve seen their wedding photo recently, so it’s not them.
Perhaps my grandparents? I shrug and step a bit closer to them. They know I’m here, but they are talking to one another in sweet whispers, and I would feel like I am intruding, but they glance at me and smile every once in a while.
They are holding hands, and the golden sun dances on the highlights in her hair. She is a sweet, gentle soul. I can tell by the way she’s gazing at him. In a way, perhaps it’s her nose or the set of her eyes, or maybe it’s her petite figure, she reminds me a little of Sydney, but she looks too kind to be any relation to Sydney.
But then again, if she was brought up by someone else, other than Sydney’s parents, perhaps she might be her cousin or something….
They both start laughing at something one or the other of them has said, and then he pulls her in for a quick kiss before they both turn to me. The young man says, “Did you hear? She said yes, Mom!”
“Mom?” I repeat, as confusion washes over me, but then I feel someone shaking my shoulder, and the meadow, the bright golden sun, the two smiling faces, and the feeling of joy radiating from the couple all washes away.
I blink a few times, looking up into Mystica’s face. “Hello, Isla,” she says with a chuckle. “Sorry to have had to wake you, dear. I have some news.”
Groggy, I have a hard time processing the information she’s just given to me. I push up off of the mattress to sitting and run a hand through my hair, longing for the happiness I left behind in the meadow. That place seemed so peaceful compared to here.
I take a sip from my glass of water as Maddox comes into the room, and I feel my gut tighten. The last time I saw him, we were arguing, that is until I nearly passed out. Now, here he is with a concerned look on his face, as well as a scowl.
“What is it, Mystica?” he demands, which makes me think she must have summoned him here. I wonder where my brother is. He hasn’t come back from the kitchen. Is he lost? I wish he was here to hold my hand and make me feel calm.
Maddox can’t do that right now. The king is standing at the foot of my bed with his hands in his pockets as he scrutinizes the healer, his eyes shifting from her to me and back again.
Mystica gives him a look that should serve as a warning that he needs to stop behaving like a beast, and I see Maddox’s expression soften just slightly.
“I thought you might want to both know at the same time what I’ve discovered from the tests I’ve run,” she says. “But perhaps I should ask Miss Isla if she’d like to hear the results alone. You might be the king, but if you’re going to continue to act like a menace, she might not want to share her confidential health information with you!”
Maddox’s gaze narrows. “Tell us both, now.” His voice is a low growl.
Mystica turns to look at me, and I know immediately what my choices are. I can either agree with the king that she should go ahead and tell us what she discovered in front of him, or I can disagree, and she will send him out. If that’s the case, he will not go quietly. She will have to fight him, and even though I don’t think he’d ever hurt her, it’s not worth it.
No, I may as well let him stay, even if he is acting rather barbaric. “What did you discover, Mystica?” I ask her.
She clears her throat and says, matter-of-factly, “The reason you’re feeling this way, dear, is that you are pregnant.”
My eyes bulge from my head and my chin drops to my chest. “Pregnant?” I repeat, and she nods her head.
I shake mine. “No,” I say. “I don’t think that’s possible. I was nearly dead just a couple of weeks ago. Surely, that would’ve terminated any pregnancy. And if I’d gotten pregnant since then, you wouldn’t be able to determine that yet, would you? The baby would be so small….”
“It’s a fact,” she says with a brisk nod of her head. “You are about six weeks along. Which does mean that the child was within you when you almost died, though undetectable by any tests I would’ve run at the time.”
Both of us shift our eyes to look at Maddox.
For the first time that I can remember since I’ve met him, he looks completely stunned–speechless. He is just standing there, his face devoid of any sort of expression and almost as white as the sheets on my bed.
“Maddox?” I cry, wondering if one of us should go prod him. “Are you all right?”
He shakes his head slightly, and I see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “Fine, fine,” he says. “Uhm… did you say… she’s… pregnant?”
“Oh, good. Your ears do work when you’re in a trance,” Mystica says, chuckling under her breath. “Yes, that’s what I said. But here’s the thing I need both of you to consider. This child has been exposed to some toxic substances. Not only did the poor baby have to put up with everything Zabrina did to you when she tried to kill you,” she says softly as she looks into my eyes, “I’m afraid many of the drugs I used to save your life are not good for wee babies either.”
“What are you saying?” Maddox demands as if Mystica is the enemy here.
She gives him another stern look. “I’m saying… there is a possibility the pregnancy may not be viable. And if the child does survive to term, there’s a chance he or she may have certain limitations due to what they’ve been exposed to.”
“So you mean a handicapped child?” Maddox blurts out, and I am livid.
“What!” I demand, sliding to the edge of the bed. “Don’t use that word in my presence! I don’t care who you are!”
Maddox looks at me like he can’t believe his question has made me so mad as I storm across the room at him. “Wh–what?”
“My brother had limitations for quite some time! He was wheelchair-bound and suffered all kinds of symptoms from his diagnosis. But now, he’s here, walking around, doing everything any perfectly able-bodied person can do! So if you’re going to speak of someone’s limitations, use terminology that’s not so offensive!”
He stares at me for a long moment before he says, “Like… what?”
“Like differently-abled! “ I shout at him. “I won’t have you calling our baby names!”
“I’m sorry, Isla!” he says quickly, reaching for me. Hot, salty tears run down my face as I try to process all of this. I’m pregnant? But my baby might not make it. And if my baby does make it… they may have a difficult life because of what was done to me.
None of it is fair! All of it hurts.
I can’t help but break down, and Maddox lifts me into his arms and carries me back to the bed. “It’ll be all right, Isla.'' He smooths back my hair and then pulls the blankets over me, but I can’t even look at him, I’m crying so hard.
Mystica hands me some tissues, and I try to get myself under control. But I’m struggling to breathe. “We’ll do everything we can to help the baby,” she says. “I have some supplements you can begin taking, and we’ll take a peek with an ultrasound and see how the growth is coming along. Try not to worry about it, love. You know the Moon Goddess has a plan.”
I think about what the Moon Goddess’s plans have been for me so far, and I’m not impressed. Sure, I’m a breeder to the Alpha King, but having to flee my homeland because of war and having to work a million awful jobs because of my brother’s illness… all of the trials and tribulations we went through… none of that was fun.
“It’s too bad you’re not still in Maatua,” Mystica says under her breath, and I immediately stop crying enough to look up at her.
“Wh-why is that?” I manage to get out between hiccups.
“Well, because… in Maatua, they have a way to fix all of this.” She makes the statement as if it’s a well-known fact.
I hear the skepticism in his voice as Maddox asks, “What fix is that?”
Mystica looks him in the eyes and says simply, “The fountain.”