Chapter Thirty-Eight

Bailey

Java Infusion has been dead all afternoon, which is giving me way too much time to think. I try to stay busy. I clean out the pastry case. I wipe down the counters until they gleam. I move and clean under all the syrup bottles. It doesn’t help. My brain won’t quit and won’t let me stop thinking about him.

I think about what Eli said when he came through my line at the store. He said Alex is clueless. He said that I “got to him.”

Then Caleb, yesterday, telling me that Alex is interested in me as more than a friend.

But none of it matters, even if it’s true. Neither of those guys were there when I told Alex that I didn’t want to be friends anymore. I told him to go back to his people.

Shit, did I really say that?

I slap a chocolate croissant on the tray in the pastry case. Facts are facts: Alex and I knew each other for a few months. Now I’m a blip on his radar, about to disappear.

It’s all right. I’m busy. He’s going to college at the end of the summer. I don’t need him in my life, and he probably doesn’t need me in his. There. Problem solved.

Finally, we get some customers, and before long, we’re swamped, which is good. I can focus on something other than Alex.

I do my thing, take orders, brew, foam, repeat. I do this for a few hours, until I look up and see Mr. and Mrs. Koviak walking toward the counter. I don’t want to help them. I want to call for Jax to take my place, but of course he’s gone into the back the second he can get away. He must not have gotten a second date because his good mood is gone. Now the porn calls.

Mrs. Koviak sees me, and her mouth spreads in that huge smile. I bet that smile is why they’re so rich. I can totally picture her going all over the world, flashing those perfect white teeth and talking in that soft-spoken voice to convince people to give her all the money.

I totally see where Alex gets his charm.

“Bailey?” she says. “Hi! I forgot you worked here.”

I smile back, but my stomach is churning. “Hi.”

“How are you doing?” She taps her husband’s arm. “You remember Bailey, honey?”

“Yes, yes, I do. It’s good to see you again.”

He has a nice smile, too, and they’re both good looking and perfect, like their son. He only seems that way, though. I’m pretty sure, anyway.

“Yeah, me, too, to see you…again.” I don’t know what I just said, and I don’t know why they’re making me nervous. “Can I get you something?”

“Yes!” she says. “We’re here to celebrate. We just won the game. We’re going to districts!”

“What?” They went to the game? That’s a first.

“The team. Lacrosse,” Mrs. Koviak says. “They won! Alex scored two points. He looked great out there. Oh.” She leans forward. “I’m sure he’d have contacted you, but you know we took away his phone. Sorry you have to be affected by the grounding, but it’s his own fault.”

Okay. I can’t force this smile anymore or my face will crack. They don’t know that we’re no longer friends or that I don’t know he’s grounded.

“Yeah.” I chuckle, as if to say, That crazy Alex! “What can I get for you?”

She’s looking at the menu above my head, and I catch his dad looking at me funny, almost suspiciously. “I’ll have a dark roast, room for cream,” he says.

“Sure.” I wonder what he’s thinking. Maybe I’m being paranoid.

“Were you at the party?” he asks.

“Me?” I laugh. “No. Not me. You need any help, Mrs. Koviak?” I ask. She’s staring at the menu like I stare at the open refrigerator.

“Oh, I’ll just have a latte, I guess. Nonfat.” She waves a hand again and winks at me. “And Bailey”—she leans closer—“I’m so glad you found a dress! Alex said it was perfect on you.” She reaches out and touches my hand. “You’re going to have so much fun at prom. I can’t wait to see pictures, since my son is being a dud.”

“Thank you,” I say. I should tell her that I already returned the dress and that I’m not going to the prom, not with Caleb, or anyone, but I can’t get past that comment.

“A dud?” I ask, handing her change.

“Yes. We said he could have the night off from his grounding, but he’s not going.” She presses her lips together in mock disgust. “It’s his senior year—I don’t know what’s wrong with him. How can you not want to go to the prom?”

“He doesn’t have a date, dear,” Mr. Koviak shares. He eyes me again.

It’s unnerving.

“Well, he could have, I bet,” Mrs. Koviak says. “Right, Bailey?”

I don’t think I could open my eyes any wider or feel more awkward. “Yeah. Sure. Yes. Of course.”

“Well,” she says. “There’s still time. Maybe you could set him up with someone.”

My stomach is churning so hard I think I could blend a smoothie in there. I manage a half-hearted smile. It’s the best I can do. “Maybe.”

I make their drinks and they leave with more smiles. She makes me promise that she’ll get to see prom pictures. She mentions that they’ll be in town until school gets out.

Caleb said Alex wasn’t going to the prom with Devon, but he’s not going at all?

I stare at the clock. The game is over, and they won. Alex is happy. I miss that. I miss a lot about him. Watching movies and eating Miriam’s cooking, our conversations that were zero work at all, his wannabe douche-y alter-ego that doesn’t really fool anyone.

The thing I miss most, though? When he texts me and says, “Hey you wanna come over?” and I show up, dog tired, and he puts his arm around me and he’s so warm, and he smells a little bit like soap and a little bit like Altoids with a hint of lacrosse, but it all worked together to make something super magical, and he always says something that makes me laugh. I miss that.

It was so good. Perfect, really. Like something out of a fairytale or a really great rom com. How good could it have been if we’d gotten a chance to be together?

If that kiss was any indication, I think it could have been better than good.

I guess we’ll never know, and I guess sometimes life is like that. Sometimes, Alex, there just isn’t enough time on the dumb game clock. Sometimes maybe you should let it run out and accept the loss.