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Chapter 5

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It had been three days since Logan had left and Mel was still not in a great frame of mind. She had done everything possible to stay busy and not think about him. Including cleaning her house from top to bottom.

It was Sunday and the studio was closed and that meant Melanie had a lot of free time. Thankfully, she had friends who refused to let her wallow.

Today they were going out on the lake to enjoy the weather and have a few drinks. She was happy for the company and to just relax. If she could.

“You ready to go,” Carly yelled up the stairs to her.

“Yep.” She grabbed her bag off the bed and slipped on her flip flops. She was already wearing her swimsuit and only had a lightweight dress on over it.

At Brandon and Leah’s they loaded up the boat but when they didn’t take off right away she asked, “What are we waiting for?”

“Not a what, a who,” Leah answered. “Tony.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Carly swore. “Who invited him?”

“I did,” Brandon said. “He’s my friend and while I love you ladies, I could use some more testosterone around.”

Mel glanced at Carly and saw her wince. Carly and Tony did not get along and watching them bicker was always a good show.

Maybe today was going to be more fun than she had thought.

Tony showed up a few minutes later and they pushed off.

“Switch me seats,” Carly said standing in front of her.

“Why, I like this seat.” Mel always sat in the back where she could get sun and stretch out her legs.

“Switch me seats or I am calling Logan and telling him that you are a sobbing mess.”

“Emotional blackmail, Carls. Really?” Mel knew why she wanted her to switch seats as soon as she looked over and saw Tony’s large body invading the space next to her seat.

The best part was that Tony was smirking because he totally knew what Carly was doing?

“I’ll switch,” she stood up and leaned close to her friend, “but I want you to know that I think you are nuts for not wanting to sit next to a hot guy.”

Carly grabbed her arm and whispered, “If Logan was here, would you want to sit by him?”

She made a good point. Damn her.

Moving to sit next to Tony, who she really liked, she asked, “What’s up, big guy?”

“Is that my nickname?”

She shrugged. “You’re giant and take up a ton of space, so yeah.”

He stared straight at Carly, who was pretending like she wasn’t listening, and said, “I am pretty big.”

Any normal person wouldn’t have noticed anything, but Mel knew her best friend and she saw the sharp intake of breath at his words. Plus, there was so much heat radiating between the two of them, it could start a fire.

Brandon, who was driving the boat, spoke up, “It’s too early in the day for sexual comments.”

“Is it really?” Leah said and whispered something in his ear.

Brandon was wearing sunglasses so Mel couldn’t see his face but his voice was deeper than normal when he said, “Okay, maybe I was wrong.”

Leah laughed and moved back to her seat.

By the time lunch rolled around, alcohol was flowing and they were all having a great time. Leah and Carly were in the water swimming and Brandon and Tony were playing paddle ball.

Mel was laying on the back of the boat, sunbathing. The picture they all made, had her thinking that if Logan was there, he would have had his camera out snapping pictures.

It was hard not to think about him when they had become such a group. And not having him there hurt.

“Whatcha thinking about over here, gorgeous?” Tony was back on the boat, grabbing another beer.

She laid her head on her arms. “Just thinking.”

“You shouldn’t worry so much.” He handed her a beer.

She wished she could take his advice and not worry, but it was hard.

Hard when what she was worrying about was Logan.

She opened the beer he’d handed her and downed it in under a minute. She was not one to overindulge, but today seemed like a good time to start.

“Whoa,” Leah said when she stepped onto the boat. “Aren’t we old enough to have learned that drinking never solves anything?”

“Nope.” She got up and grabbed another beer from the cooler.  “If I can’t deal with my problem, I might as well drink it away.”

Carly had joined them on the boat after Tony had gotten back in the water. Now it was just the three girls. “Remember how you felt last month when we got drunk? Was it helpful?”

“If it’s helpful that I forgot about Logan, then yes, it was helpful.”

Leah looked at Carly. “I guess we are getting drunk today.” 

“Fuck,” Carly said. “How am I supposed to ignore Anthony if I am drunk?” Even though she complained, she reached into the cooler along with Leah and grabbed another beer.

“Maybe you should stop ignoring him and start doing him,” Mel said.

“Holy shit, are you already drunk?” Leah asked.

In lieu of a comeback, Mel flipped her off.

The rest of the day was spent, drinking, swimming, and laughing. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Logan had been there with them.

Back at home, she was exhausted and still drunk when her phone rang. Only when she went to answer did she notice that it was a FaceTime and not a call.

And it was Logan.

Sitting up in her bed, she slid her finger across the screen and answered.

It took a second but then there was Logan, right in front of her. They used to do this all the time. Whenever he had been away on assignment, he would FaceTime her at least once a week.

“Hey,” he said when his face popped up.

He looked good. His face was tanner than normal, letting her know that his shoot was on a beach somewhere and it was covered in scruff. She loved it when he went a few days without shaving. Sexy was the only word that described him.

“Hi,” she answered back.

“Thank you for answering.”

“Why wouldn’t I answer?”

She watched him shrug. “I just assumed you were angry with me.”

“Oh, I am.” She tried to look mad, but when she looked at herself on the corner screen, she saw that she was smiling.

“I fucking miss you so much.” It came out fast, and the look on his face after he said it let her know that he hadn’t meant to say it.

She turned her face away from the screen and rubbed her forehead.

“I know leaving was shitty but I’m coming back. Soon.”

She looked back at the screen and bit her lip. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

”I want you to tell me that I didn’t wait too long. That me not recognizing what I felt for you isn’t gonna come between us. I want...” He paused, closing his eyes. When he opened them back up, they looked different than they ever had before. “I want you to tell me that you still have the same dream.”

He was talking about the text message she’d sent the night they’d kissed. “Of course I have the same dream, you idiot. If it hasn’t gone away in all these years, you being an ass isn’t going to make it go away.”

He dropped his head in his hands.

“But I still don’t know what you want or fuck, what I want.”

He looked back up and smiled. “We can work on that. When I get home.”

“When will that be?” She was getting sleepy and she yawned.

“I’m not sure yet. Are you tired?”

“More drunk than tired.”

“You're drunk?” His eyebrows shot up.

“I am and a hot guy called me gorgeous today.” She wasn’t sure why she said it or what she was trying to accomplish by telling him, but it’d just come out.

“The man has great taste. You are gorgeous.”

She saw the jealousy cross his face, saw him push it away fast. Somehow, thinking he was jealous, turned her on.

“You’ve never told me that before.”

“I’ve also never kissed you before. I’m turning over a new leaf.”

She smiled. “What if I like the old leaf?”

“That’s still there. You can have it all.”

“It was Tony. He’s the one who called me gorgeous.” She wasn’t sure why she told him instead of letting him continue to stew in his jealousy, but it felt like the right thing.

“Now I know who to beat up.”

“You are not going to beat Tony up.” She laughed.

“Carly would be okay with it if I did.”

She laughed again. “You’re probably right.”

They were both silent, just looking at each other into their phones. It should have been awkward, had every right to be. But somehow, it wasn’t.

“Hey, Mel,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I realized something this week.” His intense gaze through the screen wouldn’t let her turn away. “I thought for years that we were friends. Best friends, but just friends. And then I realized something. It was more. Always has been.”

“You don’t have to say that, especially if you don’t mean it.”

“Just think about it while I’m gone. Think about all the calls and texts when I was on assignments. Think about that at some point, I stopped socializing and going out during shoots. I didn’t need that when I had you.”

His words shocked her.

“I’ll let you go so you can get some sleep.”

She wasn’t sure she could speak, so she nodded and waited for him to click off first. He did and she set her phone down.

How was she supposed to feel after listening to his words? Her first instinct was to not trust him. But in all the years she had known Logan, he had never flat out lied to her. Sure he’d told little white lies like the time when she was twelve and he’d said he’d gotten the snake out of her garage only to find out he hadn’t. He and Brandon had stood back and laughed their asses off at her screaming at the top of her lungs.

But that wasn’t a true lie.

That was just childish humor. Although at the time she wanted to strangle him with that snake.

Getting under the covers she plugged in her phone and clicked off her bedside lamp. She was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt at least for a little while. But what she wasn’t willing to do was turn over her whole heart until she knew for sure.

So while it seemed like he was pushing full steam ahead, she was going to go slower than a turtle.