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This day needed to be over and it needed to be over soon. Thank God it was only a half-day.
Normally Melanie loved the kids she taught. But today, she wanted nothing to do with them.
In fact, she resented them. Resented that they got her time and attention when what she wanted was to give it to Logan.
Saying goodbye to her last student of the day, she grabbed her bag and made her way to the office.
“Thank God that is over.” She fell into her chair and extended her legs out in front of her.
Leah swiveled in her chair and glared at her. “Now that it is, I’m gonna need to know what the hell went down last night.”
Melanie sighed and closed her eyes. She was exhausted and sleeping was at the top of her list.
“I already told you.”
“No, you told me that Logan came by drunk and you let him sleep it off. There has to be more to it than that.”
“Every day you are here, you turn more and more into Carly.”
“Hey,” Carly shouted, “I can hear you.”
“I know!” she shouted back over her shoulder.
“What are you doing out there anyway?” Leah stood and walked to the entrance of the office. Mel figured she might as well follow and stood and walked out of the office too. There was a closet out in the lobby that they used for storage and Carly was inside it.
“What are you looking for,” she asked.
“I’m looking for my old box of ballet and tap shoes. I brought it here when we first opened and now I can’t find it.”
“I know where it is,” Leah said and walked away, towards the studios.
“Why do you need them?”
“I have a student who can’t afford shoes and I thought maybe one of my old pairs would fit her.”
“You’re not as hard-ass as you like the world to believe, you know that?” Carly had been her best friend since childhood and Mel knew her well. She knew that her hard as nails persona was one that only came after life had hardened her.
“Kids are my weakness,” she said and closed the closet. “They don’t get to choose their parents or what their parents do.”
Leah came barreling back down the hallway. “I found it.”
“Where was it?” Carly asked.
“I put it in the studio closet so that it would be accessible.”
Carly took the box from Leah and they all moved back into the office.
“Now that that’s out of the way,” Leah started, “are you ready to expound on what was up with Logan?”
“You’re like a dog with a bone.”
“I taught her well,” Carly said from the floor where she was stretching.
Mel rolled her eyes and then told them a shortened version of the story. When she got to the part about the woman demanding sex for a gallery contract both girls went off.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Carly stood, hands on her hips.
“That’s what he told me.” And as much as she wanted to hate him right then, he was not a liar.
“So what, everyone knows this lady and values her opinion so much that they won’t hire him?”
“I’ve heard of her,” Leah said quietly.
“You have,” both Carly and Leah said together.
“And from what I know, it’s less about people valuing her opinion and more about them being afraid of her. She apparently holds onto info about people that can be damaging.”
“Bitch,” Carly swore.
Mel had to agree.
“Is there a plan,” Leah asked.
“A plan for what?”
“On how to kick some sense into Logan’s head,” Carly said.
“He obviously still wants you,” Leah added.
“Yeah and I still want him. But should we? Should we be together when it seems like the world doesn’t want us to be?”
“What world is telling you not to be together,” Carly asked. “Cause from where I’m sitting it seems that the world is trying its damnedest to push you together.”
She scrunched up her face in confusion.
“I agree with Carly,” Leah said. “You two keep coming up with reasons to not make it work and someone keeps knocking them down.”
“You guys really see it like that?”
“Uh yeah,” Carly said.
Mel looked to Leah, who nodded.
Could she have been wrong in her thinking? And if so, what did she do about it?
She knew one thing, she wanted...no needed to see Logan. Now.
“I’ve gotta go.” She grabbed her bag.
“Tell Logan we say hello,” Carly yelled after her.
In her car, she took a deep breath before starting the engine. She was done playing games. If Logan Graham wanted to be with her, this was it. His very last chance. She drove slowly to his house, going over and over in her mind what she was going to say.
He needed to know that this was it.
He needed to know that she was done with all this wishy-washy bullshit.
He needed to know how she truly felt.
But all that went out the window when he opened his door to her.
“Melanie.” Her name came out on a whisper of breath but it was his eyes that drew her in. The blue was somehow brighter, more clear than she had ever seen them.
And they held hope.
Her words, that she had thought so hard over, stuck in her throat.
She couldn't tell you who moved first or how it came to be. All she knew was one instant she was staring at him and the next she was kissing him like her life depended on it.
And if you thought about it, it kinda did.
He felt so good, with his arms wrapped around her and his lips on hers. Somewhere in the back of her head, she heard the door slam but at the moment she wasn’t thinking of that. She was too absorbed in the way his lips felt and holy hell, the way his tongue invaded her mouth.
She was finally, after years of waiting, kissing Logan fucking Graham.
Wanting more of him, she searched for something to hold onto and settled on his hair. Gripping it hard she practically melded her body to his.
And that’s when it got real.
She felt her back hit something hard, trapping her between his body and what she assumed was the door. Her legs lifted naturally and wrapped around his body. And when her already wet and ready pussy came in contact with the hard line of his cock, through their clothes, she ground deeper against him and moaned.
His kisses moved from her lips, down her neck and back again, forcing her to tilt her head back against the door.
This was the most erotic thing she had ever done in her life and she never wanted it to end.
Except...
They hadn’t even talked yet.
But a funny thing happened. While she was trying to turn off her mind and just take what he was giving her, he stopped.
With lips still wet from their kisses he pulled back and looked at her.
“I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but we need to talk.”
And in that moment, four little words that should have shut her down, only made her want him more.
Stopping, while the right thing to do, was not easy. And the fact that he was trying to do the right thing, was so fucking hot.
“You’re right,” she said but couldn’t stop herself from staring at his mouth. A mouth that she had been dreaming of for years.
“You have to stop looking at me like that or all my good intentions are going to go out the fucking window.”
Lifting her eyes to his she asked, “How am I looking at you?”
Instead of answering he swore and slowly pushed back from her, letting her legs fall back down to the floor.
She stayed there, her back fused to the door, and watched him walk away and sit down on his couch.
Tilting his head and looking up at her, he asked, “Why don’t you come sit down.”
She smiled slowly. “It might be better if I stay over here.” She was joking and he knew it, but seeing him smile was one of her favorite things.
Pushing off the wall, she took a seat in his big recliner. For a while, after he had bought his house, the recliner had been the only piece of furniture he’d had and over the years, it had become hers. He always let her sit in it.
Always.
“I had all these things that I wanted to say to you,” she said when both of them had been silent for too long.
“You can say them now. I’m listening.”
She shrugged.
“Melanie,” he said, “look at me.” She loved that he was one of the only ones who always called her Melanie.
She lifted her head.
“I’m the one who fucked this up. Me. Not you. I have so many things that I need to apologize for that I don’t even know where to start.”
She bit her bottom lip and she could have sworn she heard him groan. And fuck her, it was hot.
Get on track Mel, she told herself. “Go ahead and say what you feel you need to say.”
“I was so wrong, about everything. First, I thought I had to have my life in order before I could be with you. And that was just stupid. But then everything went and blew up in my face and I freaked.”
She stayed quiet and let him talk, taking in everything he was saying.
“When I turned down that offer – and Melanie you have to know, I didn’t consider it for even a second – all I could think was, there goes my chance with Mel.”
She was dying to speak, to put in her two cents as it were, but she didn’t.
“I didn’t see a life where you were okay with me not doing something. But then today, I realized something. It was me that couldn’t see me not doing anything. I was putting it on you when in reality it was my issue.”
She couldn’t stay silent any longer. “I’m glad that you finally realized that. You hurt my feelings when you said what you did last night.”
“I know, I could see it in your eyes.” His voice was low and he averted his eyes from her.
Her fingers were itching to touch him and comfort him but first, there were things she needed to say.
“I can’t keep doing whatever it is we are doing.”
His head snapped up. “You don’t want to be with me.” His voice was laced with fear.
“That’s not what I am saying.” She stayed calm and went on. “I am done with this crazy drama shit, Logan. We are adults and I think it is time we start acting like them.”
Fear gone, he asked. “So what do you want?”
“I want a straight answer and no bullshit. Do you want to do this? Me and you.”
The room was so silent that you could have heard a pin drop. This was the moment of truth. The moment that would make her or break her. She held her breath and waited for his answer.
“Melanie,” he said and then paused, shaking his head side-to-side. “It’s not about want anymore. I am long past want. I need you. Sometimes I think I need you more than I need my next breath.”
His words floored her and at the same time, her heart was about to beat out of her chest. Tears that she had no idea were in her, started to fall down her cheeks. “Then this is it. No more wavering, no more games.”
He moved to her, lifting her out of the chair and into his arms. She slid her arms around his shoulders and allowed herself to relax. She didn’t remember the last time that she had done that.
“I don’t have all the answers, I probably never will. So you’re gonna have to cut me some slack every now and then.”
She laughed into his shoulder. “I’ve been cutting you slack for years.”
He loosened his hold and she lifted her head. “I want to do this right.”
“We will,” she told him.
“No, I mean, really right. I want us to get used to being a couple.”
“So you what...want to date?”
“Yeah, I want to date.”
“Like going to dinner and movies.”
“Among other things, yes.” He stepped back, no longer touching her. “And no sex.”
Her mouth dropped open and she started to say something but nothing came out.
“If we have sex, it’ll be all about that and you know it.”
“Think that highly of yourself, do you?”
He gave her a small, wicked smile. “I just know that as soon as I have you under me, I’m never gonna want to leave.”
She tilted her head and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. “What if I want you under me?”
“Fuck me,” he swore, his eyes going the deepest shade of blue she had ever seen. “That’s why we are not having sex.”
Feeling confident and more secure about herself and her situation with Logan, she walked around him and into his kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, she pulled out a beer.
“Want one,” she asked.
“I think I’ve had enough this week, but you go right ahead.”
She twisted off the top and took a long drink. Staying in the kitchen that way there was a counter between her and Logan she asked, “Does no sex mean no anything?”
He moved closer but kept the counter between them. “I haven’t thought it through that much but maybe we just take it day-by-day.”
She reached across the counter and took his hand in hers. “Maybe we start with hand-holding?”
He entwined their fingers. “I think I can get on board with hand-holding.”
Seconds ticked by and they stayed there, at the kitchen counter holding hands.
Melanie wasn’t sure how they were going to make this no sex thing work when just holding Logan’s hand turned her on.