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FOR THE NEXT THREE weeks, Hunter and I continued to focus on work—and also on each other.
I was on set every day to watch over Pepper, who was happily leaving her unforgettable stamp on the Teens, while Hunter and I continued to date on the sly. There were breakfast dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, and even a few movie dates as things continued to heat up between us with some pretty spectacular make-out sessions at the end of each evening, lunch, breakfast—or frankly, whenever we were alone together.
At some point soon, I knew that I’d give my body to him, and that one day, we’d become lovers. After Michael, it had taken me years to trust another man, but over the past several weeks, Hunter had worked hard to win my trust, to the point that unless he somehow screwed everything up—which he could, because there were no promises in this world when it came to men—I knew that making love to him was inevitable.
What I didn’t know was the rest, because let’s face it, there was a chance that Hunter and I might not connect in bed. Given the heat that had long been simmering between us, that seemed unlikely to me, but the realist in me knew that anything could happen.
What was different about Hunter is that I knew the risks when it came to taking that final step with him, and even though I prayed that making love to him would take our relationship to the next level, my heart nevertheless was prepared if it didn’t.
Michael’s serial cheating and his abusive behavior after we’d broken up had planted steel rods around my heart, which for years had protected me from hurt. But who knew? Maybe Hunter would be the one who’d melt away that cage forever. The fact that I trusted him enough to even think about sleeping with him was something, right?
I knew it was—I was ready for it to happen whenever it happened—and I thanked God for that.
* * *
ONE MORNING WHEN I arrived on set to check-in on Pepper, one of the techs—a middle-aged woman named Diana, whom I’d befriended over the past several weeks—asked me to wait outside in the hallway, because all hell was breaking loose inside the living area, where they were currently filming.
“If I let you in now, you’d ruin the shot, Julia,” she said to me. “I hope you understand.”
“Of course,” I said to her. “What’s going on?”
“Lexi pulled a fast one on Pepper this morning.”
“What has she done now?”
“Look, I don’t know how she pulled it off, but I think it comes down to this. As you know, the girls went on their big shopping spree yesterday.”
“Yes, I was with them for part of the day.”
“And they bought a shitload of stuff, right? As in bags upon bags . . .”
“Let’s be honest here, Diana. Some of them spend more in a week than you or I make in a year.”
“Tell me about it,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, I think Lexi set certain things into motion before they had their day on the town.”
“What does that mean?”
“I think she reached out to one of her older friends to hand her something off-camera. Something she easily could have tucked into one of her many bags when no one else was looking.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This is about to get ugly, Julia. And because what Lexi did to Pepper is so cruel, I would have slapped her myself if Pepper hadn’t already done so.”
“Pepper slapped Lexi?”
“Oh, honey, she swung back like a pro and nailed that bitch straight across the face—which is the reason they’re screaming at each other right now.”
“What did Lexi do?” I said, suddenly feeling all territorial when it came to Pepper.
“This morning, when Pepper went to her dressing table to get ready for the day, she was greeted with two large bottles of Absolut, and a handwritten note supposedly from her mother that said if she couldn’t find a way to continue to get lit in rehab, then why should her daughter be deprived of getting loaded just because she wasn’t living at home? The note said her mother sent along an Absolut care package for Pepper, because she ‘Absolutly’ adored her, even if, in recovery, she was questioning their relationship and whether she actually loved her.”
My heart sank when I heard that. From our private conversations—which had been many at this point, as Pepper and I continued to become closer—I knew that Pepper was struggling with her mother’s recovery. Yes, she was happy that Savannah appeared to be making strides in therapy—especially after remaining in rehab for nearly a month—but she’d told me that she couldn’t be sure whether Savannah would have the willpower to remain dry when she finally was released. What Lexi had pulled on Pepper this morning had to have been a serious trigger for her, because her concerns about her mother’s well-being were real.
“Actually, I’m kind of glad she slapped that bitch,” I said to Diana.
“So am I,” Diana said. “Lexi’s a mean girl. She deserved it.”
At that moment, through the door, I heard Hunter call out “Cut! That’s enough. Pepper and Lexi, go your separate ways.”
“Get me to the kitchen,” I heard Pepper say. “Because I’m about to cut a bitch, and I need a knife!”
“Come at me, hunty!” Lexi laughed in a mocking tone that was laced with malice. “But please have a drink before you do so, darling. You know—to settle your nerves. I mean, certainly you’ve learned at your mother’s knee that having a shot or twenty will do just that!”
“You’ve gone too far when it comes to my mother, Lexi.”
“Oh, sweetie,” I heard Lexi say. “When it comes to you and her? Baby, I’ve only just gotten started. I mean, as of this morning, my millions of followers on social media now know that your mother is a sorry drunk twerking it out in rehab. Can we all just recognize the shame of it all? What’s even better is that we still have another two months to go in this season, darling one. And during that time frame? Oh, girl, I plan to ruin you.”
“Fair enough,” Pepper said. “But be forewarned, Lexi. Because if you think for one minute that you’ve seen me at my worst? Girl, you don’t even know just how ghetto I can be.”
“Said the Russian Mafia princess,” Lexi said dismissively.
“Sweetie, with all due respect, that would be the Russian billionaire princess to you, you sorry, poverty-stricken whore.”
“Pepper,” I heard Hunter say. “If you have anything you want to say to your fans about this situation, I’d strongly suggest that you take the opportunity to use the Confessional and lay it all out when it comes to how you feel about what Lexi pulled on you today. That way, it will be captured on camera—without her around to bother you or interrupt you. As for the rest of you, I want you to go to your bedrooms and discuss your feelings about what took place today on camera. That doesn’t include you, Lexi. If you have something to say on camera, feel free to use the Confessional after Pepper does, but you are not allowed to be alone with the other girls. I want them to gather their thoughts about what you did today without you there to influence them or intimidate them. I want them to feel free to discuss this on their own, which means no interference from you. Got it? Good. That’s it, ladies—now go.”
After Diana and I took a collective breath, she spoke into her cell to announce to someone inside the living area that I was waiting outside. And when she was cleared to let me in, she nodded at me. “You’re good to go, girl,” she said.
“Thanks, love.”
When I said that to her, her face softened.
“Take care of Pepper, OK? Because as a mother myself, I think what Lexi pulled on her today was cruel and harsh. Ever since Pepper joined the show, I’ve watched her put on the bravest and boldest of faces. But now, I can feel that she’s struggling with something else—something as awful and ugly as it is profound—and it bothers me.”
I squeezed her shoulder before I went inside. “I’m on it,” I said to her as I opened the door. And when I did, I came face-to-face with a furious Hunter, whose heated eyes immediately softened when he saw me.
* * *
“HEY,” I SAID AS I WALKED over to him. Since no one on set knew that we were seeing one another on the sly, both of us were always mindful of that. Whenever we were here together—especially with a full crew watching and listening to us—we behaved as if we were nothing more than a pair of professionals who didn’t happen to have the hots for one another. “I was standing just outside and heard a lot of that. Diana told me what Lexi did to Pepper to start the fight. How is Pepper now? I’m worried about her.”
Cameramen, techs, writers, and a whole host of others were swirling around us when Hunter simply said, “Pepper’s in the Confessional.” And then his voice became a bit louder, which I’d learned over the past several weeks was his cue letting those around us know that he wanted to speak to me in private. “While Pepper is in the Confessional, I need to have a moment alone with you because I’m concerned about her. Take a walk with me?”
“After what I heard standing behind that door, I think a walk could do both of us some good,” I said.
“I’ll be back in sixty,” he said to those in the room. “Julia needs to be brought up to speed on what happened here today, but that’s going to happen in private. Call me if you need me. We’ll be outside.”
When we were outside, we took our usual walk to Washington Square Park, where we felt we truly could be alone and be ourselves. When we found a free bench, it was only then that Hunter reached for my hand and held it tightly in his lap. For a long moment, he didn’t engage me. Instead, I felt a host of raw emotions coming off him, waves of anger, empathy, fury, and regret.
“She went too far,” he finally said to me. “Lexi really has it in for her.”
“And Pepper has it in for Lexi,” I said. “But despite the fact that those two have pitted themselves against each other, there’s no call for what Lexi did to Pepper today. She took things too far. I haven’t checked Lexi’s social media accounts yet, but I have a feeling that they’re already filled with a toxic haze. Do you know if she’s posted what went down between them this morning?”
“No idea,” he said. “Shit just blew up this morning, and I had no time to look at my cell. I was doing my best to control the situation when Pepper went for Lexi’s throat.”
“Then let me check,” I said. And not surprisingly, when I checked Lexi’s Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts, a good deal of what she’d done to Pepper was there—and already with hundreds of thousands of her fans liking her posts, commenting on them, and sharing them, because Lexi had gone all in.
She’d posted photos of the bottles of Absolut with a close-up of the letter, and she’d posted many photos of Pepper looking shocked and disturbed in the ugly aftermath.
After I showed Hunter everything Lexi had shared with the world, our shoulders slumped.
“So, despite every effort on Pepper’s part to keep her mother’s recovery private, people now know that Savannah is in rehab,” I said. “Lexi just officially outed a woman struggling with alcoholism. She’s colder than I thought. And in the meantime, she’s made a mockery of Savannah, and also her daughter. This isn’t going to end well, Hunter. We both know that. But for me, what’s more pressing is Pepper. How in the hell is she going to retaliate?”
“Simple,” he said. “Pepper’s going to crush Lexi after what she pulled this morning. I don’t know how far she’ll go, but when she goes there, I already know that she’s going to trump Lexi, and plaster Lexi’s own shame all over social media. She’s going to want to shake that girl to her core, and I have no doubt that she’ll do it, because Pepper is as smart as she’s savvy.”
I shook my head at him. “How in the hell did Lexi even know that Savannah was in rehab? Savannah and Pepper have done their best to keep everything under wraps. Beyond me, Savannah’s sister, and obviously Pepper’s father, no one knows about it other than you. But because of Lexi’s social media accounts, if the media hasn’t acted on spreading the word, they’re about to—and in the process, they’re going to try to take Savannah down, which could affect her sobriety.”
“When you’re the former wife of a billionaire—and a woman who is well known in this city—there are no secrets, Julia. For all we know, Lexi could have been sent a message through Facebook or Twitter from an anonymous source who knew about Savannah’s situation, and that’s all the news she needed to hear to shame Pepper and her mother this morning.”
“That’s what worries me,” I said. “Savannah was strong enough to admit that she needed help, and for the past month, she’s been working hard to get clean. She could have checked out of the facility early, but she hasn’t, and everyone should applaud her for that. On the other hand, there’s your show, which needs to come through with its share of shocks and surprises if it’s going to succeed. That’s what your viewership wants, and everyone—including the girls’ parents—willingly signed away their privacy rights so the girls could be real on the show. Signing that document is risky for everyone, but I think doing so just backfired on Savannah. Because of Lexi’s cruelty, Pepper and her mother are going to have to ride out one vicious news cycle in the meantime.”
“I feel you,” he said. “More than you know.”
“We should get back so I can check on Pepper,” I said. “Over the past month, she and I have become as close as she’ll allow—which I have to say is pretty close. I need to be there for her, especially since I know that she has no peers to confide in on set. They all hate her there.”
“That’s because they’re jealous of her.”
“They’re threatened by her fame. But when Pepper decides to take Lexi down, which we both know is going to come sooner rather than later, I’m betting that those girls will come to fear Pepper. Because when she goes in hard, which she will, no one is going to want to mess with her, which might calm things down on set.”
“Or not,” he said as we stood. “Because I can tell you this, Julia—you never know with that bunch. They might come off as adults, but they’re just kids. They don’t have the kind of perspective on life that you and I have. But it is what it is, I guess. And that’s the thing with this show—you never know how any of them are going to react.”
He went silent for a moment—then he looked at me.
“Before we go, can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything, Hunter.”
“Would you mind if I stole a kiss right now?” he asked.
“Frankly, I could use one,” I admitted as I slid into his arms.
First, he kissed me gently on the forehead as his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me so close to him, I could feel the strength of his muscular frame. When our lips crashed together, this time nothing I felt from him had to do with longing or lust. Instead, what I felt in his kiss was his emotional need for me to be there for him after a difficult morning. We hadn’t been intimate yet, but this is exactly what intimacy felt like, regardless of whether we’d slept together or not.
I felt it in my bones and deep in my core.
And I wanted more . . .
