| |
WHEN WE ENTERED THE living area, my eyes swept the brightly lit room for Hunter, who was standing to my left with his arms folded across the broad expanse of his muscular chest, which now was covered with a fresh white T-shirt. Lexi was standing beside him in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a long-sleeved, stylish black shirt. It didn’t escape me that despite how swollen her face looked, she’d clearly troweled on the makeup before she went in front of the cameras with her apology to Pepper.
Girl’s totally come to this party prepared, I thought. Not that I can blame her . . .
She’d shrewdly covered as much of her body as possible—either with clothes or with layers of foundation. Her long, raven-colored hair hung on either side of her face, clearly in an effort to mask whatever Pepper’s earwigs had done to her when they bit the hell out of her neck and throat.
Surrounding us were three cameramen with their cameras hoisted up on their shoulders, while others tended to the lighting, and another crew made certain that the booms soaring above us would capture whatever Lexi had to say to Pepper.
And also whatever Pepper has to say to Lexi, I thought with concern. Because when it comes to my girl? And especially now that I know how protective she is of her mother? I still have no idea what the hell she’s about to say or how she’s going to handle any of this despite the guidance I’ve given her, or how she’s promised to handle herself. She’s that unpredictable . . .
After nodding at me—which sent shivers through my body after the conversation we’d had before I’d dealt with Pepper—Hunter stepped into the center of the space, and turned to face Lexi and Pepper.
“The cameras aren’t rolling now, so for the moment, everyone can just relax until I’m finished speaking,” he said, the frustration clear in his voice. “Even though I’ve never done this before because this is, after all, a reality television show, I’ve decided to bend the rules a bit, if only to give each of you a shot at redemption.”
“Redemption?” Pepper said. “For me as well? Lexi is the one who started this bullshit, Hunter. I’m just the one who finished it.”
“Yes, for you as well, Pepper,” he said. “Because after what you two pulled on each other today, trust me—you’re both going to need redemption, especially if you want to have careers when you leave this show.”
“Please,” Pepper said. “My career is already in the bag, Hunter. So, trust me on this—I’ll be just fine when this season is finished.”
Oh, God, Pepper, come on! We just spoke about this!
“But do you know that for sure?” Hunter asked. “Because corporate America is watching you, Pepper, just as hard as they’re watching Lexi. In this business, the only thing that’s certain is that nothing is certain. So, here’s what’s happening now. While you were talking in the Confessional with Julia, Lexi came to me and said that she wanted to apologize to you on camera. You can go through with her apology or not—it’s your choice. If you do decide to hear her out, how you two behave toward one another is solely on you. You might exchange a few heated words. One of you might offer the other a truce. Or both of you might make matters even worse by attacking each another. Do what you want, because regardless of what you say to each other when we go live on tape, this ugly arc of the show is either going to end tonight, or it will continue going forward. My best advice is that you be smart and think about how your reputations on this show will affect your brands in the future. Yes, everyone on this show is supposed to have their share of ‘terrible’ moments, which the audience loves, craves, and expects. But when you give them truly ‘evil’ moments, which we saw from each of you today? Whether you want to believe it or not, that can be a deal breaker for your fans. What both of you need to know now is that whatever we capture on camera tonight will be used on the show, and depending on how you react to Lexi’s apology, Pepper? You might live to regret your behavior and your words if you go in too hard.”
Despite how seriously he takes reality television, he’s nevertheless allowing them to make informed decisions when it comes to their futures, which is beyond generous, kind, and fair of him, I thought in admiration. And he’s right. How Pepper chooses to behave when Lexi apologizes to her will affect her career going forward. But had Pepper really heard him—and me—when it came to how much she needs to protect her brand? Or is she so angry because of the way Lexi outed her mother that she doesn’t give a damn about any of this, because she comes from money—and she knows that she’ll never have to worry about her financial future?
When I considered that, all I could do was sigh with a kind of inward resignation that tonight might not go as well as I hoped.
Whatever the case, her career is in her hands at this point, I thought. I’ve done my job. Hell, I’ve done my best. I’ve warned her. And Hunter just warned her. So, choose well, Pepper—because Hunter is right. Corporate America will judge how this goes down between you and Lexi, likely at the very moment you want them to back that cosmetic line of yours . . .
“Are you in, or not?” Hunter asked Pepper.
“Sure,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll listen to whatever this bitch has to say to me. And then I’ll clap back.”
“Do what you want,” Hunter said. “But don’t expect me to fix this for you in the editing room after all is said and done, because I won’t. I’m giving you an opportunity to correct everything that went down between you two today. You can have it out, you can come to terms, you can call a truce, and if you want, you can end this bullshit now. Or not, because I’m not going to be the one determining how far you take the opportunity I’m giving you—or whatever words come out of your mouths. All of that will be on each of you. And if, after the fact, you have second thoughts about how you behaved? Sorry about that, because there will be no second takes.”
He isn’t screwing around. Nor should he. But did Pepper hear him when he said that this take was it—that this was their final chance to get things right?
If she knows what’s best for her, she’d better have . . .
“Each of you might be asking yourself why I’m doing this for you, so let me tell you why,” he said. “It’s because I believe in you two girls, and I see the careers you have in front of you if you take this moment seriously. If you don’t and if you choose to throw it all away? Don’t ever expect me to be this kind to you again.”
“I appreciate that, Hunter,” Pepper said to him. “As angry with her as I am—and as uncomfortable as I’ll admit this moment is—I’ll listen to whatever Lexi has to say to me.”
With the heat gone from her voice, I felt a bit of relief, because I could tell from Pepper’s tone that she understood the ramifications of her actions when Lexi apologized to her. Proud of her, I reached out for her hand, squeezed it—and then she squeezed it back.
“How do you want this to play out?” I asked Hunter.
“I thought that Pepper might be in the kitchen getting herself a glass of water when Lexi enters the room. It’ll be clear by Lexi’s stance and her expression that she’s come to the kitchen to find Pepper. And when that happens? We are off script.” He looked at each of them. “With our advice in mind, you two will take it from there.”
“Go to the kitchen,” I said to Pepper. “Pour yourself a glass of water. Do your best to behave as if you don’t know that Lexi is about to enter the room. When she does? Be the actress you told me you can be. Act surprised. Listen to what she has to say to you, then react as you will. At first, the audience is going to expect a fiery exchange between each of you. How you find your soft landing—if that’s even what happens during this one take that Hunter is offering you—is up to each of you. As you know, there will be no second takes to fix things if you decide to go off the rails. But Hunter and I have said enough. Both of you have officially been put on notice. So, good luck to you, because as I see it? After today, both of you need all of the luck in the world when it comes to achieving whatever dreams you have for your futures after this season of the show ends.”
* * *
ONCE THE CAMERA, LIGHTING, and sound crew took their places in the kitchen, Hunter shot me a look of concern before he called out, “Pepper, go into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of water. Lexi, you’ve got thirty seconds before you join her there. That’s all the direction I’m giving to you, so good luck to you. Now, go!”
I stood next to Hunter on the sidelines, and literally could feel my skin tingle. Thirty minutes ago, this man had told me that he was in love with me, just as I was secretly in love with him. And now we had to deal with this. It was too much, but since we had our jobs to do, we had to focus on the moment—and not on us. So, we watched Pepper walk into the kitchen without a care in the world as my heart slammed hard against my chest for all that was to come.
I’m literally on edge right now, I thought to myself.
Deal with it, girl.
God, I hate my conscience . . .
I watched Pepper go to one of the cupboards, reach inside, and grab a tall glass. She was busy filling it with ice and water from the refrigerator door when Lexi rounded the corner, and stepped into the room.
“I need to talk with you,” she said.
“Oh!” Pepper said as she looked around at her in mock surprise. “Look at what all the STDs in the world just dragged into the room. Why, it’s Lexi Reynolds. In what language would you like to talk, Lexi? Slang? Because given your IQ and your level of education, I’m assuming that ghetto is your first language.”
“Hilarious,” Lexi said. “But whatevs. Look, I’ve been thinking about today . . .”
“Which oddly suggests that you’re capable of thought,” Pepper said with a bemused smile as she stepped away from the fridge and leaned against the side of the island with her glass in hand. “Quelle surprise.”
“Kell what?” Lexi said.
“That would be French, darling,” Pepper laughed. “It means, ‘what a surprise.’ Which you’d certainly know if your slovenly parents had the means to send you to the city’s best schools, as my parents did for me.”
“Pepper, I came here for a reason,” Lexi said. “I don’t want to get into it with you right now.”
“Really, Lexi? After the shit you pulled on my mother today, suddenly you don’t want to get into it with me? Why don’t I believe that?”
“Because it’s true. I don’t want to argue with you, because I’ve thought a lot about what I did to your mother today, and I’m here to apologize for all of it.”
“Apologize?” Pepper said with a pair of raised eyebrows. “Well, if that’s the case, that alone suggests you’ve come to your senses, that you’ve thought long and hard about what you did to my mother, and that in the meantime, you must have taken down all of your sordid social media posts about my mother. Am I right about that, Lexi? I mean, my phone is in my pants pocket. I can certainly check to see if in your enlightenment, you’ve taken down those posts. So—shall I check? You know, if only to see how enlightened you’ve become?”
Christ, she’s quick, I thought. And the way this shit is unfolding between them? They are both being beyond believable, which is a blessing . . .
“I haven’t gotten around to doing that yet,” Lexi said, likely wishing she’d thought of doing so before she’d entered the kitchen. “But I will now.”
“Well, bless your heart, hunty,” Pepper said with a roll of her eyes. “How about if you apologize to me after you’ve done it? Because if it hasn’t even occurred to you to do that for my mother yet, then there’s no point in me hearing an apology from you now.”
“There’s plenty to be said here,” Lexi said after she pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket, turned it on, and started to smash the screen with her thumbs before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked back at Pepper. “There,” she said. “The posts are gone.”
“Good,” Pepper said. “Then if you must, let’s get this over with. Clear your conscience, Lexi. Go thee to the baby Jesus! Say whatever it is you feel you need to say to me, but please do so quickly, OK? Because if I have to look at your bug-bitten face for even a minute more, I’m going to hurl, which won’t be a cute look for the cameras.”
“My face doesn’t look that bad,” Lexi said.
“Girl, please. Check yourself in a mirror. But since you’ve always been delusional when it comes to your looks, why stop now, right?” Before Lexi could answer, Pepper held up her free hand. “No need to answer, because what I really need to know is this.”
“And what’s that?” Lexi said.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Pepper asked. “What I want to know after today is why in hell would you ever go after my mother? Since you posted that she is indeed in a facility working hard on her sobriety—which no one should be ashamed of if they’re seriously trying to get well, as my mother has been doing for the past month—you nevertheless chose to ridicule her at most private and vulnerable moment. You chose to shame her and attack her when she is at her weakest. I understand if you want to come after me, Lexi—but my mother? Who has done nothing to you? That’s just something even I can’t wrap my head around. Because as aggressive as I can be, even I wouldn’t have pulled that kind of stunt on your mother, bitch. Why? Because I don’t know her. Because she’s done nothing to me, just as my mother has done nothing to you. My mother doesn’t know you, she’s never interacted with you, she has no beef with you. And still you decided to go there with her today. And I have to wonder why. Did you feel that humiliating her would humiliate me? Because if you did, what you need to know is that what you did today has only humiliated you and your character. So, fuck you and your goddamned apology. I mean, give me a break, Lexi—why should I believe in whatever apology you have for me now? I think the only reason you’re here is because I fought back against you. I laced your bed with hundreds of earwigs, and because you know I can and will do a hell of a lot worse to you if you ever decide to screw with my family again, you’re just running scared right now—as you should be. So, let me ask you this, you pathetic wannabe whore. Is this apology of yours coming from your heart—which I seriously doubt it is, since I’m fairly certain you don’t have a heart? Or is it coming from a place of fear?”
“It’s coming from the former,” Lexi said with steel in her voice. “Because after a lot of thought, I do feel bad about what I did to your mother. But just so you know, Pepper, each of us is in a position of power here. We both know that I can do a lot worse than I did to you and your mother today—and you can trust me on that. If you want, we can continue on with this bullshit—or we can end it right here and now. We still have two more months when it comes to shooting this show. And because we’ve been forced to room with each other, at this rate, one of us is probably going to wind up dead if we don’t put a stop to how we’re behaving toward each other.”
“Put a stop to what, Lexi?” Pepper asked coolly. “The fact that when I first arrived on set, you already had it out for me and wanted to tear me down?”
As if you didn’t have it out for her, Pepper, I thought as I looked on.
“And yet you decided to go there even though you and I had never met in person,” Pepper continued. “You only knew me from the popularity of my YouTube videos. So, please—tell me. Why do you hate me? What is it about me that’s crawled under that bug-bitten skin of yours? Could it be that I’m prettier than you? Richer than you? More popular than you? And that I have a YouTube makeup channel that has turned me into a social media megastar? Could it be that you’re jealous of me?” Pepper cocked her head to the side when she said that. “You know what, Lexi? I think the issue between us is that that you are jealous of me.”
Lexi rolled her eyes and shot Pepper a look when she said that.
“Hunty, please! I am so not jealous of you.”
“Then why are you flushing right now, Lexi? And why is it that you couldn’t even look me in the eyes when you said that? I think you are jealous of me. And it’s because of your jealousy that you’ve had it in for me from the first day I stepped onto this set. The cameras don’t lie, sweetie. Everyone watching us right now just saw the truth on your face and in your eyes. So why don’t you just admit to it if you really do want to fix this ‘relationship’ of ours?”
“God, you’re an impossible bitch,” Lexi said.
“And what are you, Lexi? Oh, let me stab at a guess. One jealous bitch, that’s for sure.”
“You think you’re so great because you’re the daughter of a billionaire!” Lexi blurted out.
“And here comes the truth,” Pepper said in a voice so low, I wasn’t sure that in Lexi’s heated state, she even heard it. “Go on, Lexi. Please, spill the tea . . .”
“You think you walk on water because you have such a big, fancy social media following. You think your shit doesn’t stink because you have a successful YouTube channel. You think you’re better than the rest of us because you’re the one who has the billionaire for a father. And worse than that, you thought you just could waltz into our show and own it even though I’m the one who has emerged as the show’s star. You came here wanting to steal that away from me. You came into this show wanting to target me! But just so you know, Pepper? Despite your fame, your looks, your money, and your following, nobody here likes you. The girls don’t like you. The staff doesn’t like you. And because of that? When it comes to this show? The crown still belongs to me.”
“Ha!” Pepper said. “Darling, when the second season of this show airs in the fall? You and I already know who the crown will belong to then. Because when it comes to this season? I’ve already stolen it away from you. And since you follow social media as closely as I do? Even you know it.”
“Please,” Lexi said.
“You know it’s true,” Pepper said dismissively. “Over the past month, my social media presence has grown substantially whereas yours has barely moved. I now have over eighty million followers across all channels, which I know comes as no surprise to you since you pretty much stalk my ass. When this show goes through the roof in the fall, it’s only going to be because my millions of followers are going to be eager to see me in action. And because every one of them adores me as much as I adore them? They are totes going to be Team Pepper—and not Team Anyone Else. You know it. I know it. And this show knows it. I mean, there’s a reason I’m being paid millions to be on this show, which you sure as hell can’t say. Right, queen? Didn’t think so. It’s because of my fame that this show is leaning on me to turn it into the show it should have been from day one. And we’ll succeed in doing so, but only because I’m on the show this season. Can you say the same?”
“You’re always going to be the girl born with the silver spoon in her mouth, aren’t you?” Lexi asked.
“And what the hell does that mean?”
“I don’t know,” Lexi said. “As you pointed out earlier, you’re the one who’s been to the best schools. Can’t you figure it out? Or did you miss a few classes, and your own IQ isn’t quite as high as you’d like to think it is? Shall I spell it out for you . . . ?”
“I see where you’re going,” Pepper said. “You think that being born into my family has made things easy for me, right? Is that it? Because if that is it, let me set you straight. I love my parents, but it’s no secret to anyone that they’ve had their share of serious issues, most of which have only made my life more difficult than it ever needed to be.”
“You’re the daughter of a fucking billionaire,” Lexi said dismissively. “Cry me a river, Pepper. You’ve always had it easy. It’s because of your parents that everything you’ve ‘earned’ in your life has really been handed to you.”
“Is that what you think?” Pepper asked.
“In fact, it’s what I know,” Lexi said.
“Then I feel sorry for you,” Pepper said. “There are millions of people who think they know me, but they don’t really know me—and you’re no better than them.”
At that moment, Pepper’s face flushed. But this time it didn’t flush in anger. If only for an instant, I saw vulnerability creep into her eyes, which misted with tears before she quickly tried—and failed—to blink them away.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Lexi asked.
“Just shut up,” Pepper said.
“What’s with the tears?”
But Pepper didn’t answer. Instead, with an overwhelmed look on her face, she simply turned away from Lexi.
“Something serious is about to happen,” I whispered to Hunter.
He stepped closer to me, which pretty much did me in, because despite all of the drama that was unfolding in front of us right now? Just having him closer to me was apparently enough to make me want to wrap my arms around him.
And what am I to make of that . . . ?
“Shit’s about to go down,” he said to me. “And it’s going to get real.”
As Pepper smoothed her fingers through her hair, her eyes became unexpectedly bright, and I had to wonder after all that had taken place today, if Lexi had just pressed her to her breaking point.
I knew for a fact that Pepper was concerned about her mother’s well-being. And, while Pepper was one of the strongest young women I knew, I also knew that all of us are human, and that each of us has our limits.
When she signed on to do the show, she never could have anticipated that her mother’s alcoholism would be outed to the press. As I looked at Pepper, my heart broke for her, because I knew by the wounded look on her face that she felt that she was the one responsible for Lexi’s decision to shame Savannah. If only because of Pepper’s association with the show . . .
“Turn the cameras off now,” Pepper said to Hunter. “I’m not doing this on camera.”
“Pepper, I can see that you’re upset, but you knew the risks when you signed on to do this show,” Hunter said to her in a calm, kind, and measured voice. “We’re telling stories here. Some of those stories are difficult to tell. I feel for you now, but I still need you to continue your conversation with Lexi. Because when it comes to my job? Your job? Lexi’s job? Anyone else’s job? We have a show we need to put out, and as I told you earlier, that happens now.”
“Jesus Christ!” she said in frustration.
“Did I touch a nerve, darling?” Lexi asked mockingly.
The moment Lexi went there, Pepper’s eyes filled with rage and fire, she dug in—and she dug in hard.
“You did,” she said as she used her index fingers to swipe tears from beneath her eyes. “So, congratulations, Lexi. Good on you for bringing me to this point.”
“And what point is that, Pepper?” Lexi asked with malice in her voice. “Please, tell me. Hell, tell the world. I mean, come on—at this point, everyone would love to know how I could bring a coldhearted bitch like you to tears . . .”
“You’re just another person who believes that money cures everything, aren’t you?” Pepper said.
“It sure as hell hasn’t hurt your career,” Lexi said. “I mean, I can only imagine the kind of money your father has paid in online advertising to promote your stupid makeup tutorials. They sure as hell didn’t take off on their own, that’s for sure.”
“Actually, my father hasn’t given me a dime for my social media following, Lexi. I earned all of it on my own.”
“Of course you did,” Lexi said dismissively.
“You know what, Lexi?” Pepper said as she squared her shoulders and came back into herself. “I could give a damn what you think about me or my success—but I am here to tell you that when it comes to those videos, my father contributed nothing to them or to their popularity. But let’s get back on track. Let’s get back to your comment that everything has been easy for me since I happen to be the daughter of a billionaire, which is something you sure as hell know nothing about. First of all, I grew up in a household in which my parents grew to hate each other right in front of my eyes, which crushed me. Second, as you’ve made perfectly clear to the world today, my mother has substance abuse issues that have plagued her ever since my father decided to divorce her. Third, my father has never been a proper father to me. Yes, he’s given me food and shelter, but when it comes to spending time with me? To being emotionally there for me? To saying that he loves me? That sonofabitch has never been there for me. Not even when I needed him, when I was at my lowest. Does that sound like an idyllic life to you? If it does, then you’re a sorry piece of work, Lexi, because all that means is that you’re simply fixated on the money. So, let me end with this, because this is what you really need to know about me. When you’re the daughter of a celebrated billionaire, everyone thinks that you must live a gilded life by association. But I’m here to tell you that when it comes to me? That’s been far from the truth. Consider the shame that comes from the fact that everyone knows your father chooses to spend his time with prostitutes over his own daughter. And then there’s what my mother is going through now. How difficult is that on her—and also on me? If you think my life is easy, Lexi, then listen to what I’ve just shared with you, and reassess your opinions of me if you want. Because I have to ask you this—if you were dealt the kind of bullshit I’ve been dealt in my life, how would you have handled it?”
For a moment, Lexi was rendered speechless. As Hunter took another step closer to me, I watched Lexi’s face and had to wonder what she was thinking. Did she believe everything Pepper had just said to her? Was she studying Pepper to determine whether she’d been lying? After what felt like an excruciatingly long moment, I saw Lexi’s face soften—and when that happened, the shift that hit the room was seismic.
“You have no relationship with your father?” Lexi asked her.
“Not really. I mean, yes, he agreed to come to New York to be my proper guardian while my mother worked on her well-being. But to be frank with you? He only wants me on this show so that he can brag to his friends that his daughter is about to become a star—and not just a mere social media star, which means nothing to him. What matters to him is television. And probably also film, because that’s just who he is, and how he thinks. He didn’t come here to support my dreams of making it on this show, Lexi. He came here to secure his belief that everything he touches or makes—which would be me in this case—always turns to gold.”
“Isn’t he proud of what you’ve accomplished,” Lexi asked.
“How would I know?” Pepper asked. “For the most part, he doesn’t even take my calls.”
“What has he said to you since he’s been here?”
“That’s the thing,” Pepper said with a trace of hurt and anger in her voice. “I’ve only seen him once since he arrived in the city. You know, when he scheduled a thirty-minute meeting between us, during which he laid out how important it was that I ‘win’ when it came to this show. Whatever the hell that means. Otherwise, I’ve heard nothing from him. I mean, I’ve tried to call him, but he never answers. I’ve texted him in an effort to see him again, but for whatever reason, he ignores my texts. And that hurts in more ways than you could ever know.”
“I’ve never seen you like this,” Lexi said.
“Yeah, well, maybe because after today, you’ve pushed me to my breaking point. Ever since I was old enough to understand who my parents are, I started to build brick walls around my heart in an effort to protect myself. Generally, when people meet me, all they really see in me is the potential for a money grab should they manage to get close to me. Does that sound like a happy life to you?”
“No . . .”
“Well, it isn’t. Throughout my life, nobody has ever seen me as somebody who might be a good friend to them, and they sure as hell have never seen me as a human being. Have you ever experienced that?”
“Over the past year, I have,” Lexi admitted to her. “Especially after the success of the show. I mean, when it comes to our age group, everyone watches the Teens . . .”
“And people want to be friends with you because you’ve emerged as the show’s star, right? How does that make you feel?”
“To be honest? Sometimes I do like the attention. And I’m not ashamed to admit it, because much like you, I didn’t get much attention from my parents when I was growing up. Instead, I was pretty much raised by nannies while my parents lived out their glamorous social lives. But other times—especially lately—I’ve started to question all of it. After only a year on this show, I’m beginning to wonder who my real friends are, especially when my real ‘friends’ are constantly posting photos of us on their social media feeds, but now with hashtags that say stupid shit like #ImHangingWithAStar. You and I both know why they’re doing that.”
“We do,” Pepper said. “It’s because it makes them feel important to be friends with a celebrity.”
“I think I hate that the most,” Lexi said.
“You should,” Pepper said. “But what I can tell you from my own experience is that for the most part, your oldest friends will always love you for you. Yes, jealousy will touch some of them, and that sucks. But if you’re lucky, a handful of them won’t care about your fame—and those are the people you need to keep very close to you because those are the people who truly love you for you. But when it comes to finding new friends after fame strikes? That’s what you need to be most worried about, Lexi, because that’s where you are going to find your greatest disappointments. Unfortunately, from what you’ve told me, you’ve already experienced that.”
“I have,” Lexi said. “And you’re right, Pepper, it isn’t easy. In fact, if anything, after the first season of the show alone, I have felt more hurt, frustration, and disappointment in my life than I ever had before.”
“Well, look at us, Lexi,” Pepper said. “You and me—of all people—actually having a meeting of the minds . . .”
Lexi just shrugged at her. “Maybe we are.”
“If we are—and if you and I are ever going to understand one another—I need you to hear me out right now. Are you willing to do that?”
“Pepper, after everything we’ve just shared with one another, of course I’ll listen to you,” Lexi said.
“I appreciate that.”
For a moment, Pepper paused to take in a deep, calming breath before she spoke again. And when she did so, my heart went out to her, because I knew that Pepper was about to share parts of her life that she never, ever wanted to share with anyone—especially while she was on camera. She was a private, wounded person. But for whatever reason, she was going all in with Lexi, the process of which had left me so transfixed, it was only at that moment I realized that Hunter’s thumb was discreetly stroking the back of my hand . . .
“You’ve been famous for a year,” Pepper said to Lexi. “Is that right?”
“About that, yes . . .”
“Then what I need you to imagine is living with fame for most of your life, as I have. I’ve been dealing with this bullshit since grade school. Yes, I’m financially privileged, for which I’m grateful. But all of it has come at a cost, because at this stage in my life? Too many people see me as a young woman of undeserved privilege. Instead of people seeing me as a human being with feelings, I’m generally only ever seen as someone who’s won life’s lottery. A lot of people hate me for that. Others have tried to befriend me for that—you know, for the very reasons some people are now trying to befriend you. But after being either bullied or stung by so many people over the years, I’m at the point where I rarely allow anyone into my life. I’ve had to close myself off to potential friends because I just can’t trust people anymore. Is that a life to be celebrated? No, it isn’t, but those are the cards I’ve been dealt, so I have no choice but to deal with them. I’m almost fifteen years old, for God’s sake, and I have practically no friends. I often feel isolated, lonely, and alone. To fight back, I spend most of my life in my bedroom doing my YouTube videos because they not only give me something I enjoy doing, but because they also give me something I can call my own. After all these years, people have their opinions when it comes to me, but if they saw my life for what it really is? I think that most of them would come to the conclusion that a lot of it sucks.”
“Jesus . . .” I whispered to Hunter.
“Right?” he said in a low voice.
“Pepper, I’m sorry,” Lexi said with resignation in her voice. “You come on so strong and so confident, I never would have believed in a million years that this was your life. In fact, if I hadn’t just seen it on your face and heard it in your voice for myself, there’s no way I would have believed any of it.”
“Lexi, I’m not looking for a pity party here,” Pepper said. “But after what went down between us today—which was ugly on both sides—I decided a moment ago that it probably was best if you saw me for who I really am, and not for the person you’ve perceived me to be.”
“You know what, Pepper? My grandmother once said something to me that I think is true when it comes to us.”
“What’s that?”
“Before she died a few years ago, she knew that I wasn’t having an easy time of it in school. I mean, she knew I was bullied, as you were. And she hated that for me, even though there was nothing she could do about it other than to love me as hard as she could, which she did in ways that no one in my life ever has. So, she shared this with me, which kind of pertains to us . . .”
“What did she say to you?” Pepper asked.
“What my grandmother said is that sometimes, when two people hate each other as much as you and I have hated each other from the start, it’s because we share too many things in common. We hate each other because we see too much of ourselves in each other—especially the parts we secretly loathe about ourselves. You and I are a lot alike. We’re ambitious. We want to break out and be successful without anyone’s help. Our conversation tonight has revealed that we both come from a place of neglect. I haven’t told you my own story when it comes to how my parents ‘raised’ me, but I will when we turn out the lights and go to bed tonight, because a lot of what you’ve experienced with your parents is pretty much what I’ve experienced with my own—all of which has shaped me into the person I am today. Their neglect of me is something I’m still struggling with. I’m just as angry and as hurt as you are for reasons I never knew we had in common.”
“What are you saying, Lexi?” Pepper asked.
“That I think we got it all wrong when it comes to us, Pepper.”
“And how is that?”
“Pepper, I never knew anything substantial or real about you until tonight, but in the wake of all that you just shared with me? My God, you and I are so much alike, it’s kind of scary. I think we clashed because we share too much in common. After hearing your story and knowing my own, I have to ask myself what the hell have we been doing to one another? Could it be that we could have been friends all along? I don’t know, but I’m feeling that because we’ve shared a lot of the same bullshit when it comes to our parents, maybe we could have been. And maybe we should start thinking about it now . . .”
“Are you and I about to become friends?” Pepper asked incredulously.
“I don’t know,” Lexi said. “Maybe—or maybe not. I mean, after we talk alone tonight, who knows what we’ll learn about one another—and on what levels we’ll connect . . .”
“But if you and I somehow become friends, what does that do to the show?” Pepper asked. “It’s called The Terrible Teens for a reason. All of us are expected to be terrible to one another . . .”
“Do you like every girl on this show?”
Pepper snorted when Lexi asked her that.
“Girl, I don’t like anyone on this show—unless you and I weirdly decide to come to terms with each other tonight because we share some pretty awful things in common. But that’s still to be decided, isn’t it?”
“It is,” Lexi said. “But I have to say this to you, Pepper. I’ve listened to your story—you’re about to hear mine when we go to bed—so in ways I never saw coming, especially after today? I’m kind of hoping we will become friends, if only because I believe we’re more alike than we ever knew.”
In the silence that stretched between them, all I could do was turn to Hunter in an effort to make sense of this moment. But when I did so? When I looked into his eyes? Yes, I saw that he was as perplexed and incredulous as I was that all of this had just transpired between Pepper and Lexi, but what I couldn’t miss in his eyes was his undeniable love for me. It was real. It was palpable. His thumb was still stroking the back of my hand.
And God, if it didn’t make me feel electric.
“Lexi,” Pepper said.
Both Hunter and I turned to them.
“When you first came to me tonight, I didn’t know what you wanted to say to me—but I have to say that in the end? I’m grateful for it. Thank you for apologizing to me, for listening to me, for telling me part of your own story, and for delivering us to where we are now. Once we’ve turned in for the night—and when the cameras are off us—I hope we can continue to share our stories with one another. And after that? Each of us will decide which way we want to go when it comes to us. If we decide that we want to trust each other and become friends? Great. But, let’s get real here—we still have this show to consider. If we don’t have sparks flying between us, then the show is going to die a slow death, which neither of us can have.”
“I agree,” Lexi said. “Heat, rage, and shade equal ratings gold. So, what if you and I decide to become an unexpected team, Pepper? Because if you think for one moment that I like every girl on this show? Oh, sweetie, you are so mistaken. I mean, most of these girls annoy the hell out of me. So, if we do decide to become friends after tonight, consider this. In the middle of the second season, we could create an unexpected twist—an alliance!—that would pit us against the other girls. I mean, if you and I of all people did that midseason? It would set this show on fire, and I’m pretty sure you know that I’m right, because, you know, massive twist and all . . .”
“Well, shit,” Pepper said with a laugh. “Maybe we are kindred spirits . . .”
“And who would have thought it?” Lexi said with a wink.
“Your grandmother,” Pepper said. “Obviously, that woman would have understood us.”
“My grandmother would have championed us,” Lexi said. “Because she just got it when it came to life, Pepper. She always did. I think you would have loved her, because there was no bullshit when it came to her.”
“How about if we go upstairs so you can tell me the rest of your story?” Pepper asked. “Because I mean it when I say that I’m curious about how we intersect, and I do want to know how you’ve gotten to where you are today.”
“Let’s do it,” Lexi said. “But first, if only because I feel terrible about what I did to your mother today, can I give you a hug?”
“Can you even handle a hug from me—of all people—after the way I bit your ass today with hundreds of earwigs?”
“I can handle it,” Lexi said. “And after all we’ve been through in only a month’s time, Pepper? I think I might even need that hug from you.”
“I’ll be gentle,” Pepper said as she stepped toward Lexi with open arms. But Lexi shook her head in dismissal and pulled Pepper fiercely toward her, and in the moment they embraced? I knew that a friendship no one ever could have seen coming had just been born.
And it was an amazing thing to behold.
