Chapter Seven

Nick,

Staring down at what would be my last letter to Nick, I crossed out the “Dear”. I had to stop fooling myself when it came to him. What we had in the past, yes, was still dear to me. But the game-playing and one-upping each other hurt and I was over it.

“Kayla!” Brittany screeched while I tried writing the note. Since it was blistering hot, The Divas were headed to the beach on our free period. But I had ducked into the cabin two doors down to work on the letter to Nick.

“She left with the Munchies,” Hannah’s voice drifted on the muggy air through the open window just over my head. “She’s probably sick of Ms. High and Mighty bossing us all to death.”

The Munchies had left two minutes ago and I’d told Victoria I was tagging along with them so I could talk to Emily. Then, of course, I didn’t. I smoothed the purple stationery balanced on my beach read while I perched on someone’s trunk. Focus. There was so much I wanted to say to Nick. Time to express myself better and more often.

Because—amazingly—I felt better for apologizing to Nick. Sure, I knew he’d used that moment of weakness at the falls to one-up me. Show off how much he could toy with my feelings. Yet bottom line, I still felt better knowing that I’d made an effort to right an old wrong. If he wanted to continue being Mr. Arrogant Athlete, that was his problem. I’d at least apologized and owned up to my mistake. I’d put myself out there and taken a chance. For me, that was a big step. And yeah, it hurt that it hadn’t worked out, but I’d tried. Was proud of myself. Now I could think about how I’d treated Nick and not feel so ashamed. From now on, I’d hold my head up when Nick was around.

So now I was going to try harder to speak my mind. Well, in this case, write it. That was easier since Nick still made me nervous. Arrogant or not, Nick had the power to make me forget my own name when he talked to me.

You proved your point. Yes, you could have had me back if you’d wanted me. But since I’d already apologized for breaking up with you, you didn’t need to play me with that.

I crossed out “kiss” because this was starting to feel like a juicy blackmail piece if anyone ever intercepted it. But how else could I say it? “I’m not sure you needed to use your tongue so skillfully?”

I rewrote “kiss.”

Don’t write me again. I won’t be checking the spot now that I know you were only being nice to get back at me for the past.

That was vague enough. He’d know what I meant. No one else would. Especially because I didn’t sign the letter. Besides, we’d had a long track record of not getting caught sending notes. I wasn’t all that worried even though this felt like the most I’d ever written.

Folding the stationery in half, I stuffed it in my floral beach bag and slipped out of the Munchies’ Manor screen door, shutting it v-e-r-y carefully. Then I booked it over to the boys’ campus, my topknot bouncing all over the place and starting to fall out. Sliding the note into the spot I knew Nick would look, I narrowly avoided a bunch of younger campers bursting out of their cabin to play Frisbee under the pine trees.

Whew.

Mission accomplished, I jogged to the beach and arrived just as the rest of the Divas were settling into spots on the sand. Or trying to, anyway. Good spots were tough to come by since half the camp had shown up today.

“Nia!” Brooke’s entitled shriek rose above the din of volleyball games and horseshoes. “Clear us some space!”

I didn’t see our overworked cabin mate until a pile of towels moved. Poor Nia held a beach blanket, multiple towels, and what looked like a beach umbrella, the stuff mounted so high her chin barely topped the stack. I hurried closer to help while the rest of the Divas looked nervous. Only Hannah rebelled openly. She rolled her eyes then started unstacking towels from Nia’s arms and chucking them onto the sand.

“I can get us some space,” Brittany volunteered. She stepped in front of Nia, whose face was so red I thought she might pass out from the heat. Brittany leaned down next to a couple of boys wrestling by the water. “Excuse me? Mini-mites? Your counselor said he has Fudgesicles.”

The boys shouted and spun out to join the rest of their cabin, vacating a small patch of prime real estate.

“Nia will do it,” Brooke bellowed. “She wants to pay her dues in the industry. You’re blocking her from her dreams.”

I didn’t mind being late to the beach. No one even noticed my arrival because all eyes were on Nia as she juggled the towels still in her hands and approached various groups of sunbathers to see if they would mind relocating for Her Highness.

“That’s more like it,” Brooke purred happily, tossing her shoes down in a way that kicked up sand on a couple of girls building a sand castle nearby. “Settle in, entourage!”

She spun in a circle, arms out, oblivious to everything. I’m pretty sure she was imagining the sun as her personal spotlight.

“Does that mean us?” Brittany leaned into my line of sight. “The entourage thing?”

“In her dreams it does.” Hannah still held the extra towels she’d taken off Nia’s stack. But now she dumped them into a heap on Brooke’s shoes. “I’m going to hang out with Julian so I don’t strangle the wannabe. But, ladies, you can’t call yourself Divas if you’re running to kiss someone’s ass every ten minutes. Think about it.”

She sauntered toward Julian, who grabbed her bag and dropped it on his towel before he tugged her toward the water. She went with him, smiling, even though she still wore her cover-up. I remember a time she would have flipped about getting her cover-up wet. I mean, I knew she’d mellowed, but if she was so reformed, why didn’t she help us put Brooke in her place once and for all? Maybe she was too busy trying to win over Julian’s friends. I noticed the Wander Inn guys pretty much accepted her now. She hung out with them more than us.

“Britt, Kayla?” Rachel dropped down to a towel, re-braiding her dark hair with quick fingers. “Conference?”

“Um, sure.” Brittany frowned before digging her towel out of the pile on Brooke’s shoes. Staring at the pink daisies as if they might bite her, she shook off its sand before carefully rolling it out next to Rachel. “I hope this is about the dance, though. That’s all I care about right now.”

I laid my towel on the other side of Rachel, glad that put me farther away from the Warriors’ Warden boys, who’d just arrived. My chest squeezed with Brittany’s reminder of the event on Friday. It would have the whole camp in an uproar, planning wardrobes and romance. I wasn’t looking forward to watching Nick and Brooke twirl under the red lights for the first couples’ dance.

“It’s not about the dance.” Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “Is anyone else getting sick of Brooke treating us like dirt under her nails?”

“Yes,” I blurted. My hand covered my mouth after the word slipped out.

Too late.

Brittany lifted her sunglasses, her wide eyes making her look like an anime version of herself.

“She makes Hannah look like a sweetheart.” Brittany grabbed her sunscreen from her purple straw beach bag, and boys appeared with offers to “do her back.” Brittany flicked her wrist as if brushing them aside and they scuttled away again.

I hesitated to take out my own sunscreen. What was it about Brittany that boys adored? I mean, she was beautiful, no doubt. But there were other girls who were super-pretty that didn’t get so much attention. My eyes sought out the Warrior guys before I could stop myself. They were playing football at the edge of the water, splashing some girls as they ran.

Nick went out for a diving pass that landed him in the water. Still, he emerged from the depths with the football in one hand, lifting it high for all the other guys to see.

“Nia!” Brooke’s shrill voice drowned out whatever else Rachel was about to say. “You broke the umbrella! How am I supposed to keep my tan even?”

“Look at that,” Rachel muttered darkly. “Brooke is going to kill that poor girl.”

We watched as Brooke accused Nia of carrying the umbrella wrong and breaking the mechanism that lifted it. Nia had started out so eager to please Brooke, but it was clear now that she wasn’t as thrilled anymore. The ribbon in Nia’s braid had come untied and fell lopsided on her shoulder. Her cheeks were still bright red, and her forehead was sweaty as she watched Brooke lose her mind over the umbrella.

“Do you have any idea how unforgiving the camera can be?” she whined, stomping around the sand to pluck another towel from the heap. “Of course you don’t because you’ve never been in front of it. But I’m telling you, it sees every imperfection.” She tossed her purple-tipped hair. “Not that I have any.”

Out in the water, the Warrior guys played on, oblivious to Brooke’s tantrum. I wished Nick could glimpse this version of the YouTube goddess, but she’d been sneaky—and lucky—in hiding her ugly side from him.

“I should have remembered. You’ve told me that before,” Nia mumbled.

“Why is she mumbling?” I wondered aloud. “Why doesn’t she speak up?”

Even as I said it, I realized that I was a total hypocrite. How many times had I stood in Nia’s shoes when Hannah had been the reigning queen of the Divas’ Den?

Then it hit me. Nia was the old me.

Or was I still like that? Sitting quietly on my towel and not intervening? I needed to start speaking up for others, even though I still struggled to do that for myself.

“Should we help?” I forced myself to say, secretly hoping Rachel would defend Nia despite my best intentions.

“The world is full of bullies,” Brittany announced. “And no matter what health class videos say, it doesn’t pay to get involved.”

I think Rachel’s expression matched mine. Jaw dropped. Mouth hanging wide. Brittany was a sweet girl, but not a deep thinker. She’d changed though, since she’d helped Alex direct a play called West Side Scary a couple of weeks ago. There was a new confidence about her that I envied.

“So we’re supposed to just let her get steamrolled by Brooke?” Rachel asked when she’d recovered. “Look at them.”

I lifted my head to see Nia standing next to Brooke. Nia held a beach towel in front her like she was getting ready to fold it.

“What is she doing?”

“She’s being a human umbrella so Brooke maintains the proper shade of tan for her video.” Rachel’s face was red now. I half-expected to see steam hiss from her ears any second.

“This may sound mean?” Brittany lifted her glasses again. “But if you ask me, Nia needs to find her breaking point. Emily told me you can’t draw boundaries until you find them.”

“Wait a minute.” Rachel frowned. “Is that from that girl power class thing that Emily is doing?”

Brittany sat up, her face lighting up. “Totally. It’s so cool. Like, it sounds crazy and wacky—and some of it is because it’s, you know, Emily—but this week, we are defining our personal boundaries.” She waggled her sunscreen in front of Rachel’s nose. “Guess what I’m working on?”

“Higher SPF?” Rachel guessed.

“What?” I asked, curious and a little envious. I’d seen the signups for the Personal Growth and Development workshop series, but the first session had conflicted with CIT training.

“Respecting my body.” Brittany lowered her voice. “Okay, that sounds so weird, but I picked it off a list on the chalkboard. And today, I totally told those guys to take a hike who were all like ‘we’ll put sunscreen on you, Brittany.’” She rolled her eyes. “My body is mine, and they should be so lucky to cop a feel. Am I right?”

“So right.” I smiled, almost hearing Emily in Brittany’s speech. “I’m signing up for that next week.”

“We need to get Nia in the workshop,” Rachel pointed out. “Because I’m not convinced this ‘wait until she finds her breaking point’ thing is going to work.”

“Whatever.” Brittany slid her sunscreen back into her bag. “Can we talk about the dance now? I have nothing to wear.”

For the next half hour, I lost myself in advising my friends on outfits, one of the areas I always felt confident enough to speak up about. Mom’s years as a busy fashion editor, though lonely at times, had taught me a lot, and I’d learned a long time ago that my friends were always interested in my opinions on everything from headbands to hemlines.

Today, I plotted wardrobes until I was confident the three of us would look as fabulous as possible. Even though I didn’t have the benefit of Emily’s Personal Growth and Development wisdom, I did know one important life rule from my mom.

When you look your best, you feel better about yourself.

And as I watched Nick organize a game of water volleyball, I knew I’d need every advantage on my side to get me through this dance without my heart breaking.

“Come on, Kayla,” Cameron pleaded in my ear as we walked back to our cabins. “Go to the dance with me.”

A few of the Warrior guys trailed us as we left the beach, Cam by my side. And I had the feeling that Eli was inviting Brittany. Jake hung around in the back of the group, talking to Rachel, but I wasn’t sure about those two. On the surface they were both so driven and athletic, but they’d always been friends more than anything.

Nick ditched the beach early. Not that I’d been watching his every move or anything. I’d been trying hard not to stare, actually. But when Brooke noticed Nick leaving, she’d announced we all needed out of the sun, too.

“No, Cam.” I hitched my beach bag higher on my shoulder and wished I’d gone in the water to cool off before we left. The heat was killer today. With Nick in the lake the whole time, however, I hadn’t ventured close.

“Why not?” He grabbed my hip and dragged me closer.

Something about that move really hit me wrong after what Brittany said. My body was mine. Who was Cam to help himself?

“We broke up,” I reminded him, stepping out of reach. I was more determined than ever to say what I meant. I’d held back on the Brooke-Nia issue and I’d never told Hannah off in the old days. Even with Nick, I’d stumbled over my apology and had to express myself in writing. But Cameron could handle hearing what I had to say.

“Then at least save me a dance,” he urged as we got closer to the cabins. “If I just had one dance with you—”

“Nick?” Brooke squealed.

I looked up in time to see Nick back away from our cabin porch, his expression serious. Frowning.

“What are you doing here?” Brooke jogged toward him, the jiggle in her bikini top obvious even for those of us standing behind her.

I think Cameron’s drool hit my shoulder.

We walked closer while Brooke threw herself around Nick—arms, legs, everything. Where was Gollum and his Precious when we needed them? I tried to look away, but before I could, I noticed Nick held a folded piece of paper in his hand.

For a second, pure terror swept through me. Was it mine?

My heartbeat went so wild it probably registered on the Richter scale. Then I remembered. I’d written my note on purple paper and whatever Nick held was definitely white.

“What’s this?” Brooke asked as she jumped down and focused on the paper. “A note for me?”

If she’d been in a cartoon, we might have seen her eyeballs turn into fat hearts. Brittany made a gagging sound and Rachel thumped her on the back. In the meantime, I was pretty sure I was going to throw up on Cam’s shoes. My stomach sank. Churned.

“Um, actually,” Nick started to say, yanking the paper out of her reach. “It’s nothing. I just wanted to—”

“You just wanted to surprise me, right?” Brooke hugged him with one hand and then stole the note from his fingers with her other. “So romantic and it’s working. Swoon.” She glanced over her shoulder and waved the note toward us. “Nia? Are you getting this? Maybe a song about swooning?”

My eyeballs burned as I stared at it in Brooke’s daisy-tipped blue fingernails. Was that note meant for Brooke? Was Nick so insensitive that he’d already started using “our” hiding place for letters to her?

Or was there even the smallest chance that it was a message meant for me?

“I’d leave you notes if you were my girl again,” Cameron whispered in my ear. “Hot ones.”

I couldn’t work up the energy to tell Cam to go to Hell. Instead, I held my breath as Brooke unfolded the piece of paper. Would I be publicly humiliated, embarrassed, or just disappointed that he cared about Brooke and not me?

We watched the drama as Brooke’s eyes scanned the paper.

“Why isn’t she reading it out loud?” Cam wondered. “Doesn’t she always want to be the center of attention?”

For a second, I remembered why I used to like Cam.

“Oh, Nicky!” Brooke clutched the paper to her chest, plastering it to her heart. “That’s the sweetest thing to say.”

She wrapped him in another bear hug, pinning the note between their bodies as she squeezed him tight.

Over her shoulder, Nick’s gaze met mine, but I couldn’t read his expression. Triumph? Was this another way to win the weird battle we were locked in? Or was he sorry that the nice words he’d intended for me went to another girl?

I tore my eyes away from his, forcing myself to think about anything but him. The dance. The stuff I wanted to teach the Mermaids. Emily’s class. Calling my mom on Sunday to see how things were going in the Hamptons.

“Tough to respect a guy who doesn’t see what a phony she is,” Rachel pointed out behind me.

“It’s her rack,” Brittany suggested.

Beside her, Eli nodded his agreement.

Cam shrugged helplessly.

“Are you sure it’s not her talent?” I asked through clenched teeth.

Cam snorted. “Good one, babe.”

Late that night, I watched the skinny crescent moon out our cabin window and wondered how I’d ever get to sleep. Had Nick written something nice to me that got intercepted?

Or was he moving on?

I shouldn’t care, but no matter how many times I told myself that, I did. Then, just when I thought I’d finally put it out of my head and was going to fall asleep, I heard the screen door on our cabin open. Someone sneaking out. Rolling onto my side to peer out the window, I spotted bright blonde hair in the moonlight.

Brooke was out of bed and on the prowl. And I had a good idea who she was meeting.