Chapter Eleven

“Are we all familiar with hand signals?” Rob, the Warriors’ Warden counselor, was in charge of demonstrating the basics of bike safety outside the bike rental shop the next morning. All the senior campers were taking a special day trip that would end with a sunset picnic on the Big Creek Trail.

“I learned hand signals last spring when I volunteered at a rest home,” Brittany offered, pushing her bike forward to stand in front of Rob. “One of the residents was deaf, so it really helped us communicate.”

Double-checking the contents of my backpack, I smiled while the rest of the campers groaned. I had to hand it to Brittany, though. She’d never let fear of being wrong hold her back from offering her opinion.

“That’s sign language,” Rob reminded her. “Today, we’re talking about hand signals for bike safety. Let’s run through them so we’re all on the same page. For a right turn, we extend the left upper arm…”

He demonstrated all the necessary signs for us while Brooke inched closer and closer to Nick with her bike. We were all assigned the same basic model street cruiser, but Brooke had fought her way to the front of the line that morning to snag one of the three purple ones. I was trying hard to steer clear of her ever since she’d promised that I’d be sorry for speaking out against her at the dance. Now I stood behind the rest of the Divas so I wouldn’t be too close to Nick.

“She’s totally moving in on Nick.” Nia turned around to point out Brooke’s theatrics. Nia seemed to have appointed herself my new bestie ever since the Divas had helped her escape the Brooke White Fan Servitude Club.

“She has been since the moment she arrived at camp,” I whispered back, trying not to care about that whole drama anymore as I followed Rob’s instructions for checking our bike’s brakes.

I still cared about Nick. A lot. But I wasn’t sure if the Nick that had meant so much to me was still a part of the Olympic athlete with the endorsement deals. I guess I’d know—if he started hanging out with Brooke all the time—exactly how much I’d meant to him. Until then, I had bigger problems to worry about with my mom’s new job.

“Yeah, but she was really upset yesterday when she found out Nick chose you for his commercial over her,” Nia blurted, not even pretending to test her brakes. “She trashes you behind your back all the time.”

I couldn’t decide if I was weirdly curious to hear more or hurt that Brooke was just that mean. Securing the strap on my helmet, I watched the way Nick greeted Brooke in an off-handed way, barely meeting her eyes. I wasn’t the only girl he didn’t trust, it seemed.

“I’m not sure she could do much worse behind my back than she does to my face.” I followed the command to secure our packs to the small rack behind the bike seat, using a short bungee cord to hold down the sack containing extra water and my food ration for the sunset picnic. “I guess that’s a good thing about Brooke. She’s definitely not a hypocrite.”

Sure, I planned to speak up more, but I wasn’t going to put others down to lift myself up. I knew a lot of girls like that, and I wouldn’t be that way. Part of my plan for the rest of the summer was to figure out what I wanted and who I was. How could I speak my mind until I understood those things? But this much about myself, I knew. I didn’t want to be the kind of person who made themselves feel better by bashing other people.

“Um…” Nia didn’t seem to know what to do with my determined optimism. “I guess that’s true.”

Smiling forcefully, I planned to wear my new attitude like a personal armor. Fake it ‘til you make it, my mom used to say about success. One day, I’d feel comfortable with the new me.

“We’ll be riding in teams of six,” Rob shouted, lifting his voice over the dull hum of conversations that had started among the campers since we knew all the bike safety stuff already. “Three boys and three girls to a team, so find your groups and let’s get going.”

The hum of conversation grew to an excited buzz as campers hurried to find a team. Emily gave Bam-Bam a quick smooch and then joined her girls. I thought about how tough it had been for some of the Mermaids and Pirates to pair off that day we’d gone hiking, and I remembered the awkwardness of not having any close friends in those years before Nick reached out to me. Now, I had the Divas. Except the new wrinkle of three girls and three boys on a team made things a little uncomfortable again.

“Come on, Kayla.” Brittany waved me over to stand with her and Rachel. Cameron, Eli and Jake were already with their group.

It would be so easy to follow. Follow. Follow.

My bike was practically steering itself over there, except that I’d be leaving Nia out.

“I can’t,” I forced myself to say. “What about Nia?”

We’d just freed her from Brooke. We couldn’t abandon her already.

“We can go with Hannah,” Nia announced, waving me in the other direction.

Hannah and Julian wouldn’t be separated these days, so that meant Nia and I would be hanging out with Julian’s friends from the Wander Inn instead of the Warriors’ Warden guys.

“Um…” I didn’t mind Julian’s crew. Garrett and Danny were nice enough, but I’d always felt embarrassed around them since Nick and I had quit being friends. It was kind of like I’d broken up with them, too. “Okay.”

“I don’t bite.” Hannah winked at me as she flipped her long braid off to one side so she could get her helmet on. “Much.”

Nia chatted up Danny, a sweet kid who used to spend his whole summer being homesick. He’d loosened up a little and no longer smeared zinc on his nose every day, but he looked wide-eyed at Nia, as if he couldn’t identify what category of camp danger she might fall into.

Ready to ride, I peered behind us and saw that Brooke had somehow convinced Brittany and Rachel to let her join their group. Probably because Nick had stuck with Eli and Jake. It seemed weird that Cameron and Eli weren’t hanging out, and for a split second I wondered if Cam didn’t like Nick because of me.

No. Cam got along with everyone. Besides, I’d made it clear to Cam that we weren’t together anymore.

“Has everyone found their team?” Rob shouted from the front of the line. He and Victoria were leading the long group of bicycles, while Emily and Bam-Bam stayed in the back. “The first team to make it to Walnut Bottom will become our Picnic Royalty to reign over the dinner festivities. The winners will be kings and queens for a day with the rest of the campers serving your dinners. Ready?”

“Ugh,” I grumbled even as the majority of kids shouted their agreement.

“Remember pedestrians and horses have the right of way! Set!” Rob moved out of the bike trail so that we would have a clear path for mountain biking. “Go!”

I kicked off on the toe of one pink Ked, prepared to keep up with the group even if I didn’t win the race. I liked biking. I just didn’t like—

“Coming through! Here come the big guns!” Nick shouted while Brooke squealed behind him. They went whizzing past us, their spokes a flash of silver in the sunlight.

I had a quick impression of Nick’s strong, tanned thighs moving his bike into high gear while Brooke giggled and pushed harder to keep up with him.

“Hurry, Kayla!” Nia pedaled faster, smiling and game for the competition. “Wouldn’t you love to be the Picnic Queen and make them wait on you all day?”

The eager gleam in Nia’s eyes almost made me want to win.

“Hells yeah!” Hannah shouted, leaning low over her handlebars. “Julian, show them how an Elvish prince kicks camper butt!”

“Did she really just say…” Nia’s confused expression was so priceless I almost fell off my bike.

“Don’t ask!” I leaned into the pedals, drawn forward in spite of myself.

The day was beautiful, and I had friends to be with even if they weren’t the most conventional. Who would have guessed two years ago that I’d be biking alongside Hannah while she shouted teasing endearments to the boy she’d once dismissed as the King of the Geeks?

The North Carolina sun played hide-and-seek through the trees, beating down on us one minute and the next disappearing above the branches of sheltering hemlocks and poplars. My life had been like that this summer. Full sun when I was breathless and dazzled by Nick. Darker and gray when I let worries overshadow me.

But for the rest of the summer, I wasn’t going to let my feelings about Nick dictate how I felt. I was going to have a good day even though he’d chosen someone else over me. I didn’t feel generic next to Brooke no matter what Nick’s sponsor said. I felt proud of myself and my choices because I’d made them.

“Kayla!” I turned to see Alex waving me down.

She wore pink sunglasses in the shape of big stars. They matched the pink clip-in hair extensions she liked to wear. I liked the fearlessness of her look. I couldn’t picture her ever second-guessing herself when it came to choosing an outfit.

“Nice shades, supa star.” I slowed down while she pedaled faster to catch up.

“I know, right?” She turned her head and pouted her lips for full effect. “I freaking love these things. Emily had a recycle night for the lost and found bin, and she said they’ve been in there for two years so they were up for grabs. I’m so into them.”

Behind Alex, a few of the other Munchies’ Manor girls appeared on the rise. Siobhan, a straight-A genius girl who wore quirky hats and a lot of anime characters on her clothes, was the first to reach us. Her boyfriend, chess champ Rafe, was right behind her. Trinity came next, with her blonde hair in dreadlocks and clipped with purple bands. She didn’t have a guy beside her, but we’d all heard on the DL she and Seth were still hanging out.

“Hi, Kayla,” Trinity greeted me. “We’re so not doing the race thing. It’s just too beautiful a day to race through it.”

“Agreed.” I lifted my Keds off the pedals of my bike and let myself coast down a small incline. Most of the path was uphill as we rode toward Walnut Bottom, but now and again, we got a little break.

“Trinity keeps trying to pull over so she can sketch the scenery.” Siobhan shrugged. “Obviously, we can’t win if we keep stopping, so we thought we’d just enjoy the day.”

“I had a question,” Alex blurted. “That’s why I called you. I’m sorry if I’m keeping you from winning.”

“It’s okay.” I kept pedaling, but I’d definitely slowed down to talk to them. “I’m sure they’ll take an average of the whole team’s score so I can’t lose it for us singlehandedly.”

“Cool.” Alex leaned closer over the handlebars of her bike, a long, leather necklace bouncing off the metal. “I wanted to ask you about Nick’s shoot. I’m trying to break into acting, and I’m curious.”

“Really?”

Siobhan laughed. “She’s obsessed.”

“It is her future,” Trinity chimed in. “Her Tarot reading was definite.”

Alex blew a bubble. “I’m trying to learn everything I can. So what was it like to work on a commercial shoot? Did you like the director? What were the clothes like?”

She had five other questions in there, too, but I couldn’t process as fast as Alex could talk.

“Honestly? I was sort of a hanger for clothes. They filmed me from the back, so I’m not really in the commercial.”

Alex frowned. “You were there. That counts. What was it like?”

I lifted my face to the sun and tried to focus on the positive things. I was there, damn it.

“I had my makeup done by a professional makeup artist. That was cool.”

“Did you like how it looked?”

“On-camera, yes. But off-camera it felt really heavy and he needed to touch up a lot because it was so hot that day.”

“But your makeup is always amazing when you do it, like, for dances.” Alex slowed down even more to lean closer to me, her bike wobbling next to mine as she seemed to stare at my cheek. “It helps that you have great bone structure, but you’re really good with makeup, too.”

“Thanks.” I remembered the joy of doing Nia’s face and seeing the transformation. “I asked Kevin— the makeup artist—tons of questions about his job in between takes.”

“Brainstorm.” Alex clutched my arm. “You should totally do, like, an apprenticeship for a makeup artist in Milan. If you go.”

“Milan?” Siobhan asked, weaving her bike a little closer to us.

“Great city,” Rafe observed as he pulled his bike into a wheelie. “All of Italy is so beautiful it blows you away.”

Siobhan got distracted asking him about chess tournaments there, but that was okay because I was a little distracted thinking about what Alex just said. Me? Doing makeup in one of the major fashion capitals of the world?

“Alex.” I shook my head. “I’m trying to learn how to express myself. I don’t think I’m ready to…That’s crazy.”

“Crazy why?” She lifted the pink sunglasses and used them like a hairband. “The fashion industry loves youth. You can be a makeup prodigy. I’ll bet your mom would help.”

“Who is holding up the race?” Emily’s voice bounced through the trees as she rode behind us, Bam-Bam behind her. “Ladies, where is your competitive spirit?”

“We’re sorting out important life issues, Em,” Alex informed her, snapping her gum. “We’ll get there when we get there.”

“And have to wait on some arrogant Picnic King?” She scowled at us, her handlebars wobbling as she pointed her finger at Alex and me. “Why be the servants when we could dine like royalty with just a little more effort?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re all going to eat the same lunches since we packed them ourselves. Remember the brown bags from the kitchen?” I patted mine where I’d strapped it to the bike rack.

“Curses!” she shouted. “What kind of competition is this?”

“Exactly.” I wasn’t going to kill myself to beat Nick and Brooke. “Last year’s volleyball tournament taught me that I’d rather have fun than win.”

Everyone, even Emily, nodded. The Divas and Munchies had declared all-out war last year on the court, and while the Divas had won, the fallout of that match had been exhausting.

“Looks like your friends might agree with you.” Rafe zigzagged his bike between tree roots poking through the trail as he pointed to two cyclists up ahead.

Brittany and Rachel.

They sat on their bikes off to one side of the path shared by hikers and bikers. Britt frowned while Rachel talked with her hands, gesturing wildly, her cheeks red. She looked livid.

“Hey there,” I called as our group slowed to a stop. “Everything okay?”

“No.” Brittany made a face, her arms crossed. “Brooke and Hannah are having a grudge-match, and Nick just keeps throwing matches on the fire.”

Rachel grimaced. “Fuel, Britt. He’s adding fuel to the fire.”

“Whatever.” Brittany’s helmet was a little crooked. “Brooke practically ran me off the road, and she’s on my team. And Nick is shouting dumb stuff like, ‘go faster!’”

“This is a race.” Emily pushed her tire deeper into our discussion circle. “So that might not be entirely out of line.”

“I skinned my elbow.” Brittany pointed. “That’s definitely out of line.”

“I like a good competition as much as the next person. Maybe more.” Rachel leaned back against an old poplar tree, her cheeks still pink. “But Nick doesn’t seem like himself today. I mean, there were horses on the trail. They’re supposed to have the right of way.”

“Nick got in the way of a horse?” I asked before I had time to censor myself. I tried not to ask about him or show I was interested.

“I know, right?” Brittany wrapped her wound with her pink headband, carefully putting the cotton flower over the cut so it looked like a tulip grew out of her elbow. “That doesn’t sound like Nick.”

“He’s definitely changed.” There was no denying it.

“Olympic-mania has gone to his head,” Brittany complained.

We all knew just what she meant.

Sadly, I had the proof I needed that Nick and I were wrong for each other. Not getting back with him was the best choice. But I didn’t feel any better for knowing I’d done the right thing.

“Winners take all!” Brooke savored the limelight in her moment as one of the Picnic Champions.

She’d earned the right to eat this meal—the same as everyone else’s—on a special fuzzy blanket instead of on a rock in Big Creek like everyone else. The water sluiced all around us, and we leapfrogged from one rock to another to talk to each other during dinner. Nick, Brooke, and the rest of the bike race winners— Rachel and Brittany included—had been serenaded by the other senior campers while they were served. It would have been fun if Brooke didn’t have to lord it over the rest of us, Nick by her side like some kind of Prince Charming.

“Congratulations,” I told Nick when I arrived at the winners’ circle, aka picnic blanket, to pick up their trash. “You’ll have to add the bike race to your growing list of personal triumphs.”

“I like a little competition.” Nick helped me pick up after everyone by gathering the trash from his friends and dumping it into the empty brown paper bag I carried. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“You don’t fool me, Nick.” I was angry when I thought about him cutting off a horse, which could have spooked the animal and hurt the rider. “You want to win, no matter the cost. That’s ego. Not competition.”

Brooke stared intently at us, and I remembered what Nia said about her being worried that Nick chose me over her. Was that true? Was she worried now? She had zero reason to be.

Nick stood close to me on the blanket-covered rock. “What else did I have after you dumped me? Winning was pretty much it.”

What?

“You followed in your brother’s footsteps and became an elite athlete.” My voice rose and some kids stopped messing around to listen. “That’s exactly what you wanted.” I remembered how much he resented the way his parents fawned all over his brother, the baseball player.

“You have a funny way of remembering things.”

My heart pounded hard with a mix of frustration and anger. “I remember my best friend was a great guy who didn’t try to make everything a competition. Didn’t have to win.”

“You didn’t want a loser, remember?” He swallowed hard and looked at the sky. “You didn’t want me.”

I was this close to admitting the truth—that half the reason I’d broken up with him that year was so that he could go chase his dreams without having to worry about me—but by now, we were so far apart it felt like it wouldn’t matter.

Taking the trash, I turned on the mossy rock too fast and slipped. I had a quick flash of the rushing water of Big Creek coming closer, but Nick caught me with one arm banded around my ribs, his forearm just below my racing heart.

“Careful!” Brittany shouted.

Rachel hurried over. “Are you okay?”

The counselors had told us ten times to be careful on the big rocks. We were close to the shore since you couldn’t swim here, so the danger was minimal, but still.

I remained caught in Nick’s grasp for a heartbeat too long, time enough to feel the warm strength of him at my back.

“Maybe I’m crazy,” he whispered low enough that only I could hear. “But I still like to hold you.”

I swallowed hard. Tried to straighten. But I was so unsteady that both Rachel and Brittany reached for me. Who said Nick couldn’t still rock my world?

“You’re crazy,” I told him softly.

But he wasn’t the only one. I was crazy to let him affect me this way after all that had happened between us.

“Check your pocket, Kay.” He held my shoulders until the last second and then left me on my own with my friends.

My pocket?

“Is he flirting with you?” Rachel asked.

The loud rush of water from the shallow rapids nearby must not have totally masked Nick’s voice. Either that or else just the way he’d touched me made her think we’d been flirting.

“No.” I didn’t feel like talking about Nick. I was too confused about him and everything else in my life. “He moved on a long time ago.”

Still, I couldn’t help but feel around my pockets when I was sure no one else was looking. And, sure enough, he’d tucked a piece of paper in the back pocket of my jean shorts. Picturing his hand there made my skin flutter and come alive.

The game isn’t over.