Chapter Fourteen

A shrill whistle pierced the air the next day, and I cracked open one eyelid to the gray, pre-dawn light.

“Whaaa…” someone mumbled below me. Rachel.

The screen door banged open. “Extras! It’s time to shoot the outdoor scenes for my video!” Brooke’s face swam into view as I propped up my head and squinted down at her.

“Sleep. Must. Have. Sleep.” Brittany thumped her pillow and turned on her side, facing the wall.

“Gollum’s given us ten minutes to get to the mess hall for early eats, then down to the field for hair, makeup, and supa-stardom!” She twirled, her short, plaid skirt reminding me of a field hockey uniform.

“Just kill me now!” Hannah groaned, an arm thrown over both eyes.

Nia pulled her blanket over her head and burrowed lower under her covers.

“Seriously?” Brooke stamped her foot when no one answered her. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The screen door squeaked shut behind her.

“That was easy,” whispered Hannah, her voice barely audible over Victoria’s loud snores.

“I know. Thought we’d be stuck doing her stupid video all day when we could be swimming. Wouldn’t mind seeing Nick in a suit again.” Brittany laughed.

And that’s when last night’s exchange came flooding back: the betrayed look in Nick’s eye, the knowledge that I’d put it there, and the note that ended our summer games. Goodbye. I should be happy to be free of the torment, but instead I felt hollow. Desiccated. An empty tide pool at noon.

Suddenly, someone blasted a whistle in my ear. Or that’s what it felt like. I bolted upright and tried focusing on what appeared to be three Brookes, Gollum’s whistle clamped between her teeth.

“Chop-chop, people. The camera crew is already setting up, and since I have a limited budg—I mean time—we need to move.” She blew the whistle again, and even Nia popped out of her hiding spot. “I mean it. I can keep doing this all day.”

“And miss your precious video shoot?” Hannah drawled from her side of the cabin.

“Gollum declared this a mandatory senior activity.” She swung the whistle by its silver chain. “Don’t make me ask him to step in and remind you.”

“Ahhh!” Brittany shrieked. “No way is some old creeper coming in here. Fine. Whatever. We’ll be out in five.”

Brooke raised the whistle to her mouth and dodged a balled-up T-shirt Rachel threw at her. “Make it two minutes.”

Brittany lowered her chin and glared. “Three.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Brooke stomped outside, and a collective groan echoed in our cabin.

“So not fine,” whimpered Nia, though she slung her legs over her cot and grabbed yesterday’s outfit from the floor by her bunk. “Thought we were done following her orders.”

Rachel pulled on a T-shirt and spoke through the fabric. “These are Gollum’s orders.” Her head emerged, her curls standing at odd angles. “How weird that he’s so into this.”

“And she had his whistle. Like when does he ever let that thing out of his sight?” Brittany applied eyeliner in the mirror, one strap of her sundress still under her arm.

Hannah buttoned a pair of shorts. “He’s had it every minute of the seven years I’ve been here.”

“Guess he’s serious then.” I gave Victoria’s bunk a swift kick, then scrambled to get dressed and follow my cabin mates out the door.

Two hours later we waited on the field, crisping under the sun like the overcooked bacon we’d gulped down at breakfast. Of course, the morning meal felt like it had happened eons ago, considering all we’d accomplished since then was five minutes each in the hair stylists’ chair. Most of the time, we just watched Brooke get her hair and makeup done and redone. Her stylist looked as though she was ready to pull Brooke’s hair out rather than redo it for a fourth time.

“This is ridiculous. Hello? Some of us have a life that doesn’t revolve around Brooke.” Brittany slung an arm around Nia. “And that includes you now, too.”

Nia flushed, her eyes sparkling. I knew exactly how she felt. Being included was heady stuff. It meant people had your back, others wouldn’t mess with you, and you were never alone as long as a there was cell phone service. Despite the long wait, I’d had as much fun as I could without worrying about Nick showing up. So far, he’d been late. Typical star behavior, I guessed. Or maybe he was avoiding me after last night’s fight.

To pass the time, we’d played “Would You Rather,” braided flower headbands for each other, and did our best impressions of some of the counselors. Nia was the clear winner when she gave a speech, as Gollum, about the dangers of “improper thoughts,” which led to us asking “him” as many improper questions as we could until we’d been shushed by Gollum himself.

In fact, our camp leader ran around like he was the real director instead of the guy peering through a camera at different angles and trying out a variety of lighting panels. Given that Miss High-and-Mighty Brooke White was now the outsider in our cabin and spending her free time with Gollum (so weird!), it made a little sense that he felt responsible. A very little.

I watched as Gollum approached Cameron and got into a discussion with him that ended with the two of them heading to hair and makeup. Weird. Why did Cam need a special wardrobe? Other than some foundation, which had sweat off my face an hour ago, we were all in our regular camp clothes. Unless…a thought occurred. A horrible one. I looked around for Nick. I’d been so determined not to see him that I hadn’t noticed he still wasn’t here. This was beyond late. It felt like a no-show.

“Have you seen Nick?” I asked Piper as she strolled past me collecting recyclables from the camera crew whenever they finished with their seltzer waters, energy drinks, and bottled juices.

“Oh, didn’t you hear?” Her bag of cans clanked against her knee as she paused. “He left camp, and Cam’s going to take his spot in the video.” She twirled a hemp bracelet, her eyes faraway. “Won’t he be great?”

I stared at her, my mind too busy processing that Nick had left camp to answer her. His note had said goodbye. Had he meant it for real? As in physically?

“Hey, Kayla?” Piper looked at me, her thin eyebrows meeting above her nose. “Are you and Cam still together?”

“What?” I shook my head. “No.”

What a crappy time to realize that, now more than ever, my heart belonged to Nick. I should have tried harder to make him understand last night. Used my newfound voice and insisted he hear me out. But I’d been too stunned that my best intentions to send him to the national team tryouts had backfired. I’d thought I was helping him, pushing him toward something he wanted, but it turned out I wasn’t any better than his father, manipulating him into doing something that he hadn’t chosen. I’d broken both our hearts for nothing.

And now he was gone.

Piper smiled. “That’s cool. So then no worries if Cam and I like—”

My hand waved her words away. “Seriously. Don’t need the details. It’s cool.”

“Sweet. Thanks, Kayla. You always were the nice Diva.”

A chorus of “heys!” from my cabin mates followed Piper as she loped off to join the other Munchies.

“I’m way nicer than any of you, and if anyone disagrees, I’ll claw your eyes out.” Hannah shook back her blaze of red hair, and for a moment I had a flashback to the days when she’d ruled us all and tormented me most.

Her frown turned into a smirk, and we all laughed, relieved. Nick wasn’t the only one who’d left. So had the old Hannah.

“And, Kayla, that was cool of you to let Cam go.”

I shrugged. He’d been a good boyfriend and deserved to be happy.

“Hos before bros!” Brittany called out, earning a sharp glance from one of the counselors.

“Brit, it’s ‘bros before hos,’ and boys say it, not girls. It’s, like, demeaning to women.” Rachel scuffed the dirt in front of her, the small groove she’d started an hour ago widening to a legit hole.

Brittany’s ponytail bobbed as she nodded. “Exactly. If they can be mean to us, then we’re taking it back and being mean to them.”

“Uh, I’m not sure it works that way,” Nia put in, her eyes downcast, tone uncertain.

Brittany stuck her fist out. “So are you with me?”

Her innocent grin was irresistible despite my dark mood. Plus, the fist pile-on was a Diva tradition, and it felt good right now to be part of the pack.

We stacked our fists, one on top of the other, until mine ended up on top. After making an exploding sound, we shouted “Hos!” before collapsing on the ground in giggles.

“So lame,” Rachel finally got out.

Brittany rolled over on her stomach and flung a fistful of grass at Rachel. “Totally.”

“How did we ever think that was cool?” Hannah groaned, her brown eyes flashing.

“How did we ever think we were cool?” I replied, meaning it. I’d worked so hard not to be the loser in the group when we’d all been kind of pathetic.

“Exactly.” Hannah kissed my cheek, then yelled at a bunch of staring boys. “I love Kayla, and I don’t care who knows it!”

“Can we watch?” one of them asked, stepping closer.

“As if!” we shouted until the group stumbled away.

I stood and looked down at my bunkmates. Friends for real now. If I weren’t feeling so crappy about Nick, this would be awesome.

“I’m going to go check on Nick. Be right back.”

“Laters,” Brittany called, then squealed when Rachel tossed a handful of grass at her.

I wandered over to the Warriors.

“Hey, so do any of you guys know where Nick went?”

Jake peered down at me, his shoulders so wide they made his head look small. “Don’t know. When we woke up this morning, his gear was gone and so was he.”

I tried a yoga breath, but the scent of boy BO was too powerful for a full inhale. So Nick was gone, as in permanently. My pulse skidded at the thought. He wasn’t returning. Ever.

I looked over at Eli, who tickled a snoozing Buster with a grass blade, making the big guy slap at his own face, then arm, then neck while he dozed.

“So he didn’t tell you guys about his plans?”

Eli pointed the grass blade at me. “He talked to you more than he talked to us this summer. We were going to ask if you knew anything once we were done with Brooke’s video.” He peered over at Brooke as she sent the harried-looking makeup artist’s powder brush flying. “If it ever ends.”

My heart sank. “Nope. He didn’t tell me anything either.” I trudged back to my group.

“So what’d you find out?” called Brittany, a dirt smudge in her blonde hair making her look like she was on a zombie video shoot. I wondered how she’d feel about that given her vampire obsession.

“He’s gone.”

Rachel whistled. “That sucks. He promised me a b-ball game of one-on-one the day after tomorrow.”

A whistle blew, and hopeful that things were finally starting, everyone quieted.

“We’re going to do some shots of you playing volleyball so if everyone would come this way.” Gollum gestured toward a makeshift court they’d set up for the shoot.

“First the girls,” hollered the director. He stood beside Brooke, his face redder than I could blame the sun for.

“No!” Brooke called. “Boys first. And without shirts. Let’s see some abs!”

Most of the boys grinned and ripped off their tees or tanks. But a few, heavier ones stood around looking self-conscious.

“Some of the boys can wear shirts,” Hannah shouted, and I was proud of the smile she gave one of the guys from the Wander Inn. It was definitely someone she wouldn’t have let herself notice before. Julian, who had no reason not to take off his tank, wore his along with a defiant expression…and a thumbs-up to his girl.

Brooke swatted away the woman fussing over her fifth hairstyle and marched our way. She pointed a finger at Hannah.

“Look. You may think you’re back to queen bee, but on this shoot, I’m king. Got it?”

Hannah opened her mouth, but Gollum stepped up beside Brooke.

“Camp Juniper Point is known for building relationships. You ladies need to show the world what we stand for, and I believe the lyrics I wrote—ah—I mean, Miss White wrote will underscore that.”

A gasp rippled through our group when Brooke turned bright red.

“Did Mr. Woodrow write your song?” Eli’s guffaw set off a round of laughter. “That’ll be a hit.”

“With the over-fifty people,” Jake put in, making some clutch their stomachs and double over, shrieking.

“I-I—” Gollum seemed at war with himself, his indecision all we needed to know about why he’d been so protective of Brooke’s video. It was his song. Amazing.

“—will not say another word,” Brooke ground out through clenched teeth. “Now everyone in their places.”

Hannah stepped forward. “Maybe we don’t want to be put in our places anymore.”

Nia joined her. “Yeah. Maybe you’re the one who doesn’t know her place.”

“You’re not our boss.” Brittany pulled out her ponytail. “And I never wear my hair this high. I look like a freaking pom-pom.”

“Brooke looks like a poodle,” said one of the boys, pointing at the teased, crimped hair that stuck out of the top of Brooke’s over-sized bow. I had to admit. It was hideous. A cry for help from a stylist who looked like she wanted to pull out her own hair.

When my friends laughed, Brooke stepped back as if slapped. Her high-heeled boot sunk into a hole, and she fell hard on her butt. She blinked away tears as the crowd’s hysteria escalated, and for some reason, instead of joining in, I raced to her.

Stupid me. Just when I’d finally found myself on the inside, I dashed right back out again. Maybe being an outsider was part of my DNA. Whatever it was, I couldn’t stand seeing her alone, crying, feeling every bit as horrible as I used to feel.

I offered her a hand and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get you fixed up,” I said, shooting a death glare at the rest of the Divas until they quieted and watched, open-mouthed, as I led her away.

At the hair and makeup area, the stylist had disappeared.

“Where’s what’s-her-name?” Brooke called to one of the lighting guys.

“Jen? She quit. Said you weren’t worth the aggravation.”

Fresh tears sprang to Brooke’s eyes. “No! She can’t do that. I have a contract.”

“I think she said you could, uh—” A crew member tapped his chin. “Well, forget what she said you could do with the contract. The thing is she isn’t coming back.”

Brooke sank into a canvas chair with a star on the back and dropped her head in her hands. “What am I going to do?” she moaned.

“Look up at the sky and don’t blink for starters,” I said.

“What?” She lifted her tear-stained face and blinked at me in surprise.

I waved an eye pencil at her. “You heard me.” Everyone might be bailing, even Nick, but I’d learned enough this summer to realize that I had to follow my own lead, not anyone else’s. Everyone else may have decided it was cool to make fun of Brooke since she’d been truly horrible this summer, but I had to face myself in the mirror and the reflection I wanted to see wasn’t a bully. Uh-uh. Not me.

“Why are you helping me?”

I swooshed lilac eye shadow on her upper lids, then dabbed a smoke gray in the creases. “I’m not.” After applying some nude lip gloss and smoothing out her hair, I stepped back and admired the effect. “I’m helping myself.”

Someone grabbed me from behind and swung me around in the kind of helicopter ride I’d seen dads do with their kids. For a heart-stopping moment I thought it was Nick and then caught a glimpse of blond hair. Cam.

“Brooke looks awesome.” He clapped his hands and boomed. “Let’s do this! For Kayla!”

“No!” I shouted, my voice just as loud, or louder, over the crowd of campers closing in to see what I’d done to Brooke in the makeup chair. My friends’ faces were interested. Curious. “We’re going to do it for Camp Juniper Point pride. Because this is camp and we lift each other up here. Right?”

Hannah’s eyebrows rose. She exchanged glances with Julian, who gave a silent thumbs-up.

“Damn straight,” Brittany shouted, lifting a fist in the air and striking a cheer pose. “For the home team!”

Gollum watched from the sidelines of the crowd and didn’t even bother to correct the language infraction. He nodded his approval as he fanned his sweating face with a hat.

I could only look on in amazement as someone from the camera crew cranked up the music and we got down to the business of making a video.

Together.

Later that night, I laid in bed and stared up at the shadows that scraped along the slanted room of our cabin. While the rest of the group dozed, Brooke still in the full makeup she’d refused to remove before bed, I couldn’t get to sleep.

Today had been full of revelations. I was glad that I’d found my voice and did what I thought was right this summer, not what others expected. That personal victory should be enough to soothe the sting of losing Nick for good—not that getting him back had ever been a real option. He’d always blame me for coercing him into leaving camp. But no matter how much I told myself that, it hurt that Nick was gone. That we hadn’t even left on friendly terms.

I brushed back tears and forced my mind onto something better, a replay of the phone conversations I’d had with each parent after dinner. Calling my dad had been hard.

I’d launched in straight after our hellos, knowing I’d lose my nerve otherwise. “I’ve decided where I want to live.”

“That’s great, honey. You won’t regret coming to live with me.” Dad had sounded happy, but it bugged me that he’d assumed he knew what I’d choose.

“I’m not, actually.” Swallowing hard, I peered out of Gollum’s window to where our camp director plucked a tune on his ukulele, giving me the privacy I’d asked for.

“Sorry, sweetheart, we must have a bad connection. Come again?”

“I’m not going to move in with you, Dad.” I’d rushed that part out, but I’d practiced it in my head and I knew I sounded firm on that point. “I love you, but I’d rather take things slow—maybe start spending time together on vacations?”

“Well, that’s not what I expected…but yeah. It’s a start that’s long overdue.” He’d sounded sad and disappointed. “I’m sorry, Kayla.”

I’d nearly swallowed my tongue.

“Kayla?” Dad had said finally. “You still there?

“Yes.” I’d been shaky inside by then.

“I should have been there when you were growing up, honey. I wish I had some kind of excuse that made sense, but I don’t. I always figured I’d stink as a father and that if you got to know me, you wouldn’t like me.”

The shockers kept coming. It seemed sad that my dad sucked at communicating as much as me, but at the same time, it felt really cool to take the lead on changing that a little.

“Kayla?” he’d asked, making me realize I’d been silent for too long.

Guess I wasn’t going to be a communications guru overnight.

“Yeah. Uh…still here. It’s just that I kind of understand that. I felt that way too once.”

“Will you forgive me?”

I’d had no idea what to say to that. The stuff he’d told me was all so new I hadn’t figured out where to put it all yet. “Like we said. It’s a start.”

“So you’re going to Milan with your mom, huh? What are you going to do there? Model?”

“Yeah. Right.” I’d shook my head but had to smile. My dad and I had never been close, but not once in all the years that I’d been pudgy had he ever made me feel like he thought I was too big. “But I did figure out what I want to do. Study makeup and hair at Milan’s Fashion Academy.”

“And if your mom isn’t around much?” he quizzed me.

“Then I have myself. And that’s fine.”

It’d been my father’s turn to be surprised. Or at least, that’s how I’d took it when he was silent for a moment.

“Yes it is, honey. And you’ll do fine.”

After that, I’d made a call to my mother as well, and I finally had a clear vision of my future without someone standing in the way of it. I’d go to Milan, study with the best, and learn to do something that made me happy for a change. There was nothing wrong with that and no reason to worry. If I didn’t listen to myself, the only person I risked disappointing was me.