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Roux settled into the business class seat in which she’d be spending the next eight hours and tried to calm her nerves. She’d expected the excitement, the surreal feeling that this was finally happening. She’d even expected the overwhelming eagerness to see Steve when they landed in the UK. What she had not anticipated was feeling like she was going to toss her American cookies/British biscuits (she’d been practicing her British English) as the scope of the adventure squeezed in on her from all directions. She reached for the bullet on the bracelet around her wrist and found only the gorgeous diamond and ruby tennis bracelet that Steve had given her. She admired it for a moment, loving the significance it represented, but it did not calm her nerves. If anything, it made her more nervous. Not only would she be in the spotlight and making sure her performances were nothing short of perfect, but she’d be trying to figure out how to juggle a romantic relationship on top of that. She wouldn’t change any of it, but she was worried that she’d make a spectacular mess out of her career, her life, her romance.
Taking the seat beside Roux, Iona fastened her seat belt. Roux looked around for Raven, who was supposed to sit next to her, and found that she’d been stuck next to some stranger. Raven shrugged as if she didn’t care. Had Iona finally realized that Roux was avoiding her so she couldn’t let slip the plans she’d made with Steve for the next three months?
“Wasn’t it nice of Sam to spring for business class?” Iona stretched her feet out far in front of her. “Look at all this legroom.”
Roux knew about Sam’s treachery with Exodus End—not every detail due to a strict nondisclosure clause. Steve had forbidden her to even mention their troubles with their manager until after they officially split with him, but she was worried about how Exodus End’s crisis with Sam would affect her own band. Every instinct told her to warn them, but without Sam, they wouldn’t be where they were at all. Her need to protect her boyfriend by keeping quiet, and her sisters by blabbing everything she knew was tearing her in two.
“I’m not sure Sam is a good fit for us,” Roux said, hoping that statement was vague enough to keep Exodus End out of legal jeopardy while seeding a kernel of doubt into Iona’s head. Her second-eldest sister was a shrewd businesswoman at heart, and if Iona believed they had better options, she wouldn’t hesitate to pursue them.
Iona snorted. “Yeah, being successful and pampered rock stars is so out of line with our goals. We’d never want to tour the world opening for an incredible band like Exodus End. We enjoy starving and not being able to pay our rent. Sure.”
“He’s just a little too slick in my opinion.”
“And that’s why he’s so good at what he does.” Iona patted her arm. “I know you’re not interested in the business side of music, and that’s okay. Stop worrying, sweetie, and let me figure out how to get us to the top. You concentrate on being the best keyboardist in rock and roll today and leave the logistics to me.”
Roux bit her lip to keep from blurting that Exodus End was going to fire Sam in a few months. She didn’t know why they were getting rid of him, but Steve had been so excited about ditching their manager that he’d told her they were firing him even though he couldn’t share any details. Surely Sam had done something truly awful to get himself axed. But maybe she was worried about nothing. Maybe Exodus End just wanted a change. The knots in her stomach weren’t buying her attempts to rationalize the situation.
“So, how’s Steve?” Iona asked.
Roux knew her well enough to read her true question: How are you going to keep from seeing Steve on tour? Roux hadn’t shared her plan to see Steve as Katie. She doubted that Iona would think it a good idea. But the days she’d been separated from him had been pure hell, and she knew she wasn’t strong enough to keep him at a distance when thousands of miles were no longer between them.
“Excited about the tour, I think,” she said, fiddling with her diamond bracelet. She had never realized how often she’d used the bullet on her bracelet for comfort until she’d loaned it to Steve.
Iona grinned. “I think he’s more excited to see you. I’ve never known any man to send a woman two or three gifts a day.”
Roux’s face flushed with heat. He had been a bit over the top with the gifting. Few of the items he’d sent had been expensive—oranges after she mentioned she liked them, an electric fan for her keyboard when she’d said the stage lights were hot, a CD with a song that reminded him of her, a vibrator when she whispered she missed having him in her bed. Her protests against the extravagance had gone ignored, so she’d started to anticipate what he’d send next—and especially those short, written sentiments that accompanied every gift—rather than feel guilty for accepting his generosity. She only wished she could afford to reciprocate. He assured her that it was better to give than to receive, but damn, how many blow jobs did she owe him now? Her jaw ached just thinking about it, but she planned to make him a very, very happy man when she saw him tomorrow. He had invited her to join Exodus End on their private jet, but she couldn’t abandon her band on their first transatlantic flight. Besides, Logan’s girlfriend would be on that plane, and Roux figured it was best to not spend hours upon hours in her company. Toni was a smart woman. She’d eventually figure out that Katie and Roux were the same person, and though Steve trusted Toni with their secret, Roux didn’t. It would also be rather difficult to convince Iona that she’d be keeping her distance from him if she hopped on his jet the first day.
“He’s very good to me,” Roux said, tucking her hair behind her ear.
“It’s going to be tough to stay away from him while you’re on tour.”
Roux knew that was Iona’s passive-aggressive way of reminding her she wasn’t supposed to be in contact with Steve.
“Yeah,” she said vaguely, glad the flight attendant had started the safety demonstration as the plane backed out of the gate. She could pretend to concentrate on how to survive a crash and avoid inevitable questions from their leader. Iona wasn’t even the oldest—Lily was—but she definitely had the right personality to head the band.
“Three months isn’t so long.” Iona squeezed Roux’s hand, which rested on the armrest between them. “And you’ll be so busy, the time will fly by.”
“Mmm hmm.” Roux’s stomach was starting to twist into knots. She’d never kept a secret from one of her sisters. She didn’t like the way it felt. But she liked the feeling of not seeing Steve even less. “I wish we could have talked Mama into coming to see a show.” Perhaps changing the subject would help Roux feel a tad less guilty.
“Maybe when we get hugely famous we can afford to invite all the younger girls along as well. She’d have to say yes then.”
Roux could have asked Steve to foot the bill for transatlantic flights for eight more members of her family, but even though she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to bring her that joy, she could never ask it of him. Baroquen would make it. Probably not as quickly as Iona envisioned, but Roux had faith that with hard work and persistence, they’d get to where they wanted to be. She knew that every one of them wanted the band to be a success, but their reasons were entirely different. Iona wanted to be a superstar, a household name, and to never have to worry about money again. Lily wanted everyone she loved to be proud of her, so she’d already gotten that wish whether she realized it or not. Sage’s main goal was and always had been to support Azura, who just wanted to have as much fun as possible, and who could possibly have more fun than a young, beautiful, and famous rock star? Roux struggled to identify her own goal. Did she really care about fame and fortune? She loved playing the keyboard and sharing Baroquen’s music with people—touching their lives in some small way and bringing them moments of joy. She supposed her goal was to make everyone happy. Deep down, she knew that wasn’t possible, but she could bring smiles to as many faces as possible, and she supposed the more well-known Baroquen became, the more she could fulfill that wish. More fans equaled more people made happy by their music. So yes, she did want to become famous, but not for the same reason as Iona or her sisters.
Iona spent most of the flight writing lists and ideas in her ever-present notebook. Roux figured it must be hard to be that ambitious. She didn’t think Iona’s mind was ever quiet. Part of her drive came from an endless tap of internal motivation, but she’d become even more obsessed with success after she’d started dating Kyle. He’d given Iona the self-confidence she’d needed to go after her dreams, and she hadn’t slowed down since. Roux was surprised that Kyle had been so scarce since Baroquen had signed with their new label. She hoped it didn’t mean that Iona and Kyle’s relationship was faltering.
“How are things with Kyle?” Roux asked.
Iona dropped her pen in her open notebook and scowled.
“That good, huh?”
“He’s so stubborn. I asked him to give me these three months to focus on my career, and he acts like I never want to see him again. Men!”
“He loves you. I’m sure the thought of being without you for that long is devastating.”
“It’s not devastating when he’s the one too busy working to take a weekend off.”
“Do you really want him to back off for three entire months?”
“It would make things a hell of a lot easier.” She picked up her pen, her scowl shifting into a lopsided grin. “But no, I don’t really want him to back off. I love that he’s stubborn. I hope that he shows up and demands to see me. I’m crazy that way.”
Roux giggled. “I sure hope he’s a mind reader.”
“Nope. He’s a man.” She sighed loudly. “He’ll think I meant what I said. Which means if I want to see him, I’m going to have to swallow my pride and invite him to visit.”
“Pride is highly overrated.”
Iona squeezed her arm affectionately and then picked up her pen to scribble more notes. Roux tried to concentrate on reading a novel but found herself so distracted by thoughts of finally getting to see Steve again that the words didn’t make sense. Her attempts to take a nap were equally fruitless, so she watched an inflight movie, not sure what it was called or what it was about. She’d never been this crazy over a guy before. She wasn’t sure that she liked the feeling. She liked him, no question. It was the can’t-concentrate, the can’t-sleep, and the-can’t-live-without-him feelings he evoked that she would happily relinquish.
“You’re not going to last five minutes,” Iona muttered as the plane made its final descent into Glasgow to catch their connecting flight to Nottingham. Roux was straining to peer out the window at the dreary overcast day, not looking for landmarks but for Steve. Like she’d recognize him from this altitude. She wasn’t even sure he’d be landing there. Exodus End’s jet would likely land at a different airport and not have a connecting flight at all. But he was closer to her here than when they’d been on opposite sides of the United States.
Oh my God, Roux. Get a fucking grip.
She turned to find Iona smirking.
“I won’t last five minutes at what?” Roux asked.
“Staying away from Aimes.”
That obvious, was she?
“I might as well tell you that I do plan to see him,” Roux said, surprised she’d kept her plans to herself as long as she had.
Iona opened her mouth, but Roux raised a hand to stop her outrush of words.
“Hear me out. He’s promised never to interact with me in anything but a professional manner when I’m in costume, but when I’m not, we’re going to be together. He’s even going to call me Katie.” Iona drew in a breath to again start her scolding, but Roux blurted, “No one knows who I am when I’m not in my makeup! They won’t figure out that I’m part of Baroquen, so they won’t think any of us fucked our way onto the tour.”
“Are you finished?”
Roux lowered her eyes and nodded. A strange mix of anxiety and relief warred within her. She knew Iona would be mad, but facing her wrath would be easier than lying to her.
“You should have said something sooner. We can help you see him,” Iona said. “Protect you both from snooping paparazzi.”
Huh?
She must have looked as perplexed as she felt because Iona chuckled and patted her hand. “It’s obvious that you love him. If you were just fucking him for fun, I’d feel differently, but I would never stand in the way of your happiness, sweetie.”
Roux hugged Iona’s head awkwardly, her seat belt cutting into her hips. “I should have just come clean from the start.” She felt loads better. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Iona said. “I’d love you more if you weren’t trying to break my neck at the moment.”
“Sorry.” Roux released Iona’s head and hugged her arm instead. Roux was truly blessed to have her sisters. They might not be blood, but they would do anything for her, just as she would do anything for them.
“I wonder if he’ll be waiting for your arrival,” Iona said, smiling to herself.
“I think his flight lands later. They had to fly all the way from LA and stop to refuel in New York.” That was where Steve had suggested she meet him to join his flight, and lord, had she been tempted. But she was glad she got this time with Iona. It would feel good to love him freely around her sisters, even if she couldn’t love him openly in front of the world just yet. She’d love to show everyone on the planet how wonderful the two of them were together. Not to brag, exactly, but to show that love was real and that it could last no matter what the circumstances. She’d always dreamed of having the kind of romance she could share with anyone, a romance that people would sigh over the same way she sighed over couples who were obviously in love and not afraid to show it.
“Well then, maybe you should be waiting for his arrival.”
Roux smiled, realizing that her sisters really could help her with her romance. They were thinking far more clearly than she was. She likely would have just gone straight to the hotel and paced the floor until he came to retrieve her.
Roux tried out her British accent. “Smashing idea!”
Iona raised an eyebrow. “Smashing?”
“When in Britain . . . ?”
“Don’t be a git, Katie.” Iona’s British accent was only slightly better than Roux’s, which was surprising since she heard Kyle’s accent all the time.
It felt weird to hear Iona call her Katie, but she supposed they’d all better get used to it. Iona leaned forward and stuck her face between the seats in front of her.
“Be sure to call Roux Katie when she’s not in her stage makeup and costume,” she whispered to Azura and Sage.
Two pairs of eyes peeked back at them from between the seats. Azura’s and Sage’s heads conked together as the plane touched down at that exact moment. “Ouch!” they cried in unison and rubbed each other’s foreheads.
“Why?” Azura asked.
“I’ll explain later, but don’t forget. Pass it on.”
Sage leaned forward to spread the word to Lily and Jack, who were sitting in front of them. Iona hadn’t protested when Jack insisted he accompany them for the duration of the tour. Maybe that was why she was willing to help Roux see Steve. Maybe Iona was getting soft. Or maybe it was because she was in love herself and knew love wasn’t easy to find. Or maybe it was because she didn’t want any criticism when she asked Kyle to join them and he actually showed up.
They had only a short layover in Glasgow, so they didn’t have time to venture out and explore, but their third tour stop was in Scotland, so they’d be able to see the sights then. Having sprung for international cell service before leaving the states, Roux texted Steve as soon as they landed. She assumed he was still in flight when he didn’t respond to her text blitz: Can’t wait to see you. Are you in Donington Park yet? Where can we meet? I miss you. It’s foggy here. Their second flight was much shorter and more cramped since there was no business class, but she sat next to Raven, who couldn’t wait to deliver her I told you so.
“I told you Iona would be happy for you. She’s not as scary as you seem to think she is.”
Roux scowled. “I’m not scared of her.” Much. “I just didn’t want to disappoint her.”
“You’re too much of a people pleaser. I say fuck them. Fuck them all.”
“You have been working at that.”
Raven shoved Roux’s arm. “I have not!” But she had broken up with her boyfriend just in case she wanted to continue the job while in Europe.
Roux had always envied Raven’s ability to have casual sex without regret. It seemed like fun. But now that Roux had Steve, she was too hooked on their emotional connection to want anything less.
“I guess this means I’ll be occupying our shared room alone.” Raven grinned, looking pleased with herself.
Roux’s heart rate doubled. Would she be able to spend nights with Steve? She hadn’t really considered that option. She’d figured they’d be stealing limited moments together, enjoying some sex-free sightseeing, and watching each other perform on stage. And all of those things would have been enough, but to be able to spend every night with him? That would be sheer bliss.
“I sure hope so,” Roux said, wiping her suddenly damp palms on her thighs.
When they landed, Roux checked her messages and found Steve had responded soon after they’d taken off in Glasgow. I have a little business to take care of first, but meet me in my room. I told the clerk at the hotel desk to give Katie Williams my spare key.
Raven squealed when she read the text. She hugged Roux’s arm as she said, “He is going to tear you apart when he sees you.”
“And that’s a good thing?” She knew it was and squirmed in anticipation.
As the band and their accompanying guests climbed into the shuttle van that would take them to the hotel, an overabundance of excitement spread among them. They’d arrived—figuratively and literally—and would be performing onstage at one of the biggest hard rock festivals in the world. They weren’t yet renowned enough to play on the main stage like Exodus End and Sinners, but that didn’t dampen their spirits or their enthusiasm.
“I remember my first Download Festival,” Jack said with a nostalgic smile. He clenched his hands in his lap when he added, “And our last.”
Lily squeezed his knee. “You know everyone is waiting for your comeback. Say the word, and that stage is yours.”
“I’m happy teaching,” he said, kissing her lips gently. “And being yours.”
“And I, yours.”
It would be spectacular if The Fallen returned to the music business, but Lily never pushed her husband. Roux smiled to herself, silently vowing to be as supportive of Steve as Lily was of Jack. Especially amid all the professional turmoil that might be in his near future. Would Exodus End seek a new manager or go it alone? Surely Steve could tell her that much without breaking any contracts. She’d have to ask him if she could think straight while in his company, unlikely as that seemed.
The hotel had been recently constructed, its lobby modern and spacious. Iona marched up to the front desk and checked in for all seven of them, getting their room keys and distributing them to each set of roommates. Roux hung back out of sight of the desk, sending Raven to collect her key from Iona because she wanted to limit her time in public with the rest of the band. Out of costume, she couldn’t be recognized as one of them. It had been her plan for weeks, but now, separating herself from the group tore at her insides. She was proud to be a part of Baroquen, and pretending she wasn’t did not sit well with her. Azura offered her a wink, Iona a knowing smile, Raven slipped her room card into her pocket as she passed, and Sage waved imperceptibly, but none of them made it obvious that they knew her. Roux hadn’t felt so alone since she’d been orphaned and not yet assimilated into Mama Ramona’s patchwork family. But if she wanted to spend time with Steve incognito, this was how it would have to be.
She waited a few minutes, pretending to check out the artwork in the lobby, and then went to the desk.
“May I help you?”
The pretty clerk’s British accent sent a thrill of excitement through Roux. She was in England!
Her excitement fluttered with additional nervous energy when she said, “My . . . uh, boyfriend . . .” She took a breath and squared her shoulders. “My boyfriend said to pick up a key to his room at the front desk.”
The clerk didn’t so much as bat an eyelash. Didn’t she realize that this was new ground for Roux? She’d never done anything like this before.
“Name?”
“Ro—Um, Katie. Katie Williams. I’m staying with Steven Aimes.”
An eyelash did bat at that name. “You’re his third girlfriend today,” the clerk said.
Roux’s jaw dropped. “What?”
“Fortunately, you’re actually expected. I have your name right here, but I will need to see identification.”
Roux released a relieved breath, wondering about those other two girlfriends of Steve’s. Did they know him, or was that just their story to try to get into his hotel room?
Roux produced her passport and driver’s license, both which had her given name, Katherine R. Williams. “I go by Katie,” she told the clerk as she carefully inspected her ID.
She apparently passed the test, because without additional questions she was given a keycard and assigned a security guard to see her up to the room. She couldn’t help but notice the muscled hunk was not only tall and dark but definitely handsome, and also claimed in excess; he wore not one but two wedding bands on his left ring finger. He also looked familiar. She stared at him rather rudely while she tried to place him.
“The tabloids,” he said on the elevator.
“What?”
“That’s where you’ve seen me before.”
Roux’s cheeks went hot, and she lowered her gaze. “Sorry for staring.”
“Hey, at least you didn’t call me an asshole for destroying Trey and Reagan’s relationship.”
“Oh!” Roux said. He was that guy. Reagan Elliot’s bodyguard. Steve had mentioned the couple’s unusual yet perfect commitment ceremony which had taken place only days ago. Or would that be the threesome’s ceremony? How did one refer to an illegitimate marriage between three people?
“I’ve been entrusted with your secret identity,” he said. “Steve told me your plan, so you can relax, Katie. I’ll keep the sharks at bay.” Under his breath he said, “Even if I couldn’t manage to do that for Reagan.”
“Thanks, uh . . . Sorry, I don’t recall your name.”
“Ethan.”
“Thanks, Ethan.” She wondered how much of those tabloid stories were true. Probably little, she decided, but refused to pry. It was none of her business.
When they reached the proper floor, Ethan escorted her to Steve’s room. There were several additional security members on this floor—all wearing matching orange shirts—and none of them questioned her presence, presumably because Ethan was with her.
Ethan entered the room ahead of her and checked the bathroom and closets. “All clear,” he said. “Have a good time. He must be crazy about you.”
Roux smiled. “The feeling is mutual.” Ethan closed the door behind him and left her to fend for herself. She hoped she didn’t have to wait too long for Steve to arrive. She wasn’t sure how much time they had before she’d be required to prepare for tomorrow evening’s show. She would like to check out the venue and meet the other musicians—all while in costume, of course. But that meant she’d have to keep her hands to herself around Steve, and seeing as it had been an eternity since she’d last touched him, chances were slim that she’d be able to keep her distance.
Roux glanced around the room, smiling at the king-size bed she hoped would get excessive use in the near future, and noticed three colorful boxes sitting in a neat row across the dresser. More gifts? She hated to presume anything, so she checked for a card. Her heart fluttered when she found one addressed to Katie sitting in front of the presents. It read Pick your fantasy from one of these boxes, and make all of mine come true. With love and anticipation, Steve.
She lifted the lid off the first shiny box—midsized and white—and found a gauzy pink negligee with faux fur trim and obscenely tiny matching panties. Also inside were fur-lined handcuffs, vanilla-scented candles, pink rose petals, and one of Steve’s signature cards. If you’re feeling nice and need a little convincing to be naughty, pick me.
She scrambled for the second box—the enormous black one—lifting the lid and peering inside. Her jaw dropped at the crotchless leotard, the thigh-high black leather boots, and the restraints. There were no scented candles or rose petals, but there were several wicked-looking implements that made her quiver with both excitement and anxiety. The enclosed card read If you’re feeling extra naughty and think I need a little convincing to behave, pick me.
Fingers shaking, she opened the smallest box—red—and found it empty except for a card. Answer the door in this if you’d rather improvise. Answer the door in what? She checked inside the lid in case she missed something. There was nothing in there. Oh. She grinned. Nothing. Answer the door in nothing.
While she was feeling nice and extra naughty—and would insist they shouldn’t let his other gifts go to waste—something told her to choose the red box. Red was her color, after all.
She heard voices coming up the hall, and though the sound was muffled, she recognized that one of those voices belonged to Steve. She didn’t have much time. She kicked her shoes off and yanked her top off over her head. Bra, jeans, panties, and socks soon found the floor. She checked her appearance in the mirror and cringed. Damn, she definitely looked like she’d spent the better part of a day on an airplane. She combed her fingers through her hair to give the flat locks a bit of volume. While she kicked her discarded clothes under a nearby chair, she licked her teeth, wishing she had time to brush them before . . .
There was a knock at the door. “I hope you’re indecent in there,” Steve said from the hall.
She hurried to the door and said, “And if I’m not?”
“I’ll still love you.”
She was flying higher than any aircraft in existence when she reached for the handle and opened the door. Struck immobile at the sight of him, she just stared. She’d forgotten how gorgeous he was. That sexy little smile of his. The strength in the lines of his handsome face and strong jaw. The lump of his Adam’s apple. The way the light caught mahogany highlights in his silky brown hair. The admiration in his exotic dark eyes. He’d been working out, she decided, fingers lifting toward the hard contours of his upper arms, and he’d gotten some sun since she’d last seen him. His complexion was a shade darker. And while she loved the beard he wore while off tour, she preferred his face smooth as it was now. There was no hiding his expression when he was clean shaven.
“Looking good, Katie Roux!” Logan called from behind Steve.
That was when she remembered she was naked. Before she could cover herself, Steve stepped into the room and closed the door. She expected a moment of awkwardness after their separation, but the second he touched her, there had been no lost time between them, no distance. Physically, yes, they hadn’t touched, but their soul-deep connection had never severed or even thinned.
“I missed you,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her securely against his chest. His hands slid up to cradle the back of her head as he leaned his face close and kissed her hair. She could feel his heart thudding beneath her cheek. Hers answered in a hard, almost uncomfortable rhythm.
“I missed you too.”
“You chose the red box,” he murmured.
“I didn’t really have time to choose anything else,” she said, her hand flattening on his belly. She could feel the definition of his world-famous abs under his T-shirt. She wanted to nibble and lick every one of those eight ridges.
“If you want, I can wait.”
“I can’t,” she said breathlessly, sliding her hand up under his shirt. Her fingertips rubbed the smooth skin of his belly, bumping over the contours, circling his navel.
“Can we make this last forever?” he murmured.
Their reunion? The inevitable sex? Their feelings? What did he mean? She needed him to be more specific. “This?”
“All of this. You. Me. Together. Never to part.”
“Yes,” she said with confidence. She could do forever with him. “I never would have guessed you were so romantic, Mr. Aimes.” But she was so glad that he was.
“I love being in love,” he said with a soft laugh. He drew her back slightly and smoothed her hair from her face with one hand as he gazed into her eyes. “With you in particular.”
She fleetingly wondered if he’d been like this with Bianca, and then decided she didn’t want to know. She wanted to believe that his love for her was special. Needed that to be true.
“I love being in love with you too.”
“Have I told you that I missed you yet?”
Smiling, she nodded.
“God, I missed you.” He lowered his head and captured her mouth in a searing kiss. Heat and emotion flooded her, swirling feelings of love and lust, of want and need, into one indecipherable mess. She was drowning in him and didn’t care if she ever drew a sound breath again. She tugged his shirt up, needing to feel his bare chest against her hardened nipples. She wanted every inch of him melded against every inch of her. And once they were one, she didn’t want to move. Just be. With him.
He helped her pull his shirt off over his head and then drew her against him quickly, as if they were of one mind and the thought of any space between them was unbearable after their time apart. She struggled to find air as she kissed him, but somehow his lips against hers were far more important than getting enough oxygen. She shivered as his hands stroked her back and slid lower over her butt, pulling her against the hard ridge of his cock. Groaning against his lips, she unfastened his jeans, and pushed them down his thighs. His answering groan sent fire coursing through her veins. She needed him inside her. She really couldn’t wait.
“Steve,” she pleaded.
It was enough to send him shuffling toward the bed, kicking his shoes and the nuisance of his jeans off as he dragged her along with him.
“I’ve been mentally coaching myself all day to take my time with you,” he said.
She tumbled back onto the bed and he followed. She opened for him, not wanting him to take his time.
“My coaching skills apparently need more work.”
He reached between their bodies and rubbed the tip of his cock against her clit. She gasped, her back arching off the mattress. “Steve,” she pleaded again.
He entered her slowly, gaze locked on hers as he filled her inch by inch. Buried to the hilt, he relaxed against her, lowering his belly against hers and cocooning her in his arms. She’d never felt more cherished, more connected, more content. Her lashes fluttered as he lowered his head and kissed her, claiming her mouth with the same care he showed as he took her body. Emotion clogged her chest until she couldn’t breathe, and panic began to set in. Now that she knew what a love this perfect felt like, how would she go on if she lost it? If she lost him?
Her breath quickened, and she pulled him closer using both her arms and her legs—squeezing him so close she was likely hurting him. He didn’t protest. Instead he shifted his arm and pressed something hard against her side. Her bullet, she realized with a flood of relief. He was wearing it on a bracelet. She released her tight hug and found his wrist, gripping the bullet in her hand until her panic began to subside. It didn’t take long. Only a few deep breaths. It’s getting a little better, she told herself. But maybe that was a lie.
“I wondered if it was me or your lucky charm you were missing,” he said, and she opened her eyes to find him smiling kindly at her.
“You,” she said without hesitation. “It’s the thought of losing you that makes me reach for this.” She squeezed the bullet in her hand and then released it to dangle around his wrist so that her arms were free to hug him close again.
“I know.” He kissed her softly, not promising what he couldn’t promise. Just validating how she felt. Giving her exactly what she needed to find the stability she still lacked. “I will never willingly leave you.”
She smiled and squeezed him tighter. That was all she could ask of him. “I’ll never willingly leave you either.”
He shifted onto his elbows, and she slowly released her death grip, settling into the mattress and gazing up at him. He rocked his hips, moving inside her, and her eyes drifted closed as pleasure radiated outward from their joining.
“Part of me thought you wouldn’t accept my invitation,” he said.
“I couldn’t get here fast enough.”
He kissed her neck, his strokes no faster than before, but oh so deep. Her toes curled, and she arched into him.
“Am I presuming too much if I keep a toothbrush and some clothes in your room?” she asked.
His hands skimmed over her shoulders, her breasts, her waist.
“You already have a toothbrush in the bathroom. It’s the red one.”
Her smile faded into an opened-mouthed gasp of pleasure as his lips caressed her jaw, her throat, her earlobe.
“But you won’t need any clothes here,” he added.
Her smile returned. “I might need them when I leave.”
“You just promised me that you won’t do that.”
And she wished she never had to. She touched his face. “I’ll have to leave eventually. I have a job to do.”
“Make me happy?”
“Yes, but—”
He kissed her silent. “Watching you perform will make me happy too.”
“So you aren’t planning to chain me to your bed?”
“Now there’s an idea.”
She lost her train of thought as his strokes hastened. She surrendered her pleasure to him, trusting him to bring her higher, higher.
“Steve!” she cried as she shattered, her enter body shaking with power of her release.
“I win,” he said, grinning down at her.
Still quaking in bliss, she needed a moment to register his words. . She sucked in a breath and asked, “What do you mean, you win?”
“Made you come first.” He beamed with pride.
She laughed. “I think that makes me the winner.”
“Nope. Me.”
“I want a rematch.”
“Maybe you’ll score second place, but I think I have that victory in the bag as well.”
“We’ll just see about that.”
But when he kissed his way down her body, spread her legs wide, and set his mind—and mouth—to claim another victory, she forgot to even try to win. Besides, she was the one claiming orgasms. She was pretty sure that made her the real winner.
“Steve: two,” he said. “Roux: zero.”
“I’ll try harder,” she promised. But he flipped her over onto her knees and entered her from behind. Being taken fast and rough after the care he’d shown her before sent her body reeling into a new dimension of pleasure. And when he reached around to rub her clit while he fucked her, she couldn’t help but allow him a third victory. Though, really, if this was what losing was like, he was welcome to tattoo a giant L on her forehead.
“I’m on a roll,” he said.
She managed to get him on his back, and took his cock into her mouth, sucking him and caressing his cockhead with her tongue. When his breath started to hitch in excited gasps, she decided a four-to-one loss wouldn’t be so bad. She shifted up his body to straddle his hips and slid him inside her with her hand. Using her weight to drive him deeper, she moved her hips in grinding strokes to rub her clit against his body. Steve seemed okay with her throwing him another point as she worked her way quickly to orgasm. He waited for her, sitting upright the moment she shattered to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight against him as he let go inside her.
“I changed my mind,” he said as he collapsed backward onto the bed, pulling her down with him. “Coming is definitely winning, not losing.”
She giggled. “I do know what I’m talking about sometimes.”
“I’ll never doubt you again.”
*~*~*
When Roux’s cellphone rang a while later, she was dozing peacefully in Steve’s arms. She groaned, knowing before she even looked at caller ID that it was Iona and it was time for her to pretend she had a real job. Though she took her second career—making Steve happy—very seriously.
“Do you have to go?” he murmured.
She climbed from the bed before that sexy-sleepy voice of his made her consider a permanent career switch.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she said, leaning over the bed and kissing his lips softly. She knew she couldn’t spend the entirety of the tour in bed with him. Knew that, but hated it was true.
“I need my rest anyway,” he said, looking even sexier than usual with his eyes all drowsy and his hair tousled from their earlier activities. “I’ll miss having you tucked against me while I sleep.”
She lifted a brow as she retrieved her clothes from beneath the chair and began to dress. She knew how he slept, all sprawled out on his belly with scarcely an inch for her. She ended up less tucked against him and more clinging to the edge of the bed so she didn’t wind up on the floor.
“You are a total bed hog.”
He grinned. “Guilty. I’ll work on that. But only for you.”
Now dressed, she kissed him again, forcing her feet to move toward the door. “I love you,” she said.
“Love you,” he murmured, eyes now closed.
She released a sigh, quickly committing the look of him to memory before opening the door. Roux took note of the middle-aged, mustached security guard in the hall who was arguing with some burgundy-haired woman. She recognized him from the after-party in New York as Butch, the head of Exodus End’s security team and the guy who’d given her wonderful advice about making Steve fall for her. Roux kept her head down as she passed the pair, still worried about hiding her alter ego from strangers. The woman paused in her diatribe about all-access press passes as Roux hurried past them and to the elevator. Her neck prickled beneath the iciness of the woman’s glare as she hammered the down button, as if that would get the car to the floor quicker. Something about the woman was familiar, but Roux couldn’t figure out where she might have seen her. She seemed out of place, yet not her looks. She looked every inch a rock star aficionado—from her chunky leather boots to her short burgundy hair to all the piercings and tattoos in between. But Roux felt that she didn’t belong there. Maybe it was because Butch obviously didn’t want her there. As soon as the elevator opened and Roux stepped inside, the woman began berating the poor guy again.
“Sam assured me that I’m allowed on this floor and there’s nothing you can do about it, Butch.”
Ah, Roux thought. That’s what’s off about her. She has an American accent, and we’re in England.
“I’m not bothering any of them on your account,” Butch said sternly. “I don’t give a single fuck what Sam says.”
Roux smiled. She did like Butch. The elevator door slid shut, and she pressed the button for her floor. When the door opened, the scene was quite a bit different. Where Exodus End’s floor was quiet and orderly and had security, the floor where the opening bands had rooms was utter chaos. Two young women streaked by in their underwear, paying Roux no mind as a chortling naked musician with a hard-on chased them into an open hotel room. Someone tried to pass her a half-empty bottle of whiskey, which she politely declined, and music was blaring from two different rooms. The songs were both loud and heavy but didn’t play over each other with any harmony. She eyed her keycard, hoping she’d gotten the floor wrong. She’d never be able to concentrate amid all this noise and confusion. Her sisters would likely have a blast in this environment, but Roux coveted peace and quiet.
“Whatever made me think I could be a rock star?” she muttered to herself as she found her room at last. With dread, she realized that everyone in the hall had seen her without her stage makeup on. She should have planned better.
She knocked to alert Raven that she had arrived and inserted her keycard into the slot.
“I’m coming in,” she called.
“Is that you, Katie?” Raven called back. At least she’d remembered to call her Katie.
“Yeah. Is Roux ready to go to the venue?” she asked loudly before shutting the door.
“Not looking like that, she’s not,” Raven said with a laugh. “You must have gotten laid. You’re glowing.”
“I saw Steve; of course I got laid.” She hurried to her suitcase and found that Raven had already taken her costume out and had hung it to help smooth the wrinkles. “It’s crazy out in that hall.”
“If it was anyone but musicians acting like that, someone would have called the cops by now.”
“We do get away with a lot of troublemaking.” Well, not her, but real rock stars who behaved badly did. And Steve happened to be one of those.
“Do I have time for a shower?”
“Are you all covered in rock star cum?” Raven tutted. “Poor dear.”
Actually . . . “And sweat. And saliva.”
“Hurry up,” Raven said. “And don’t get your hair wet.”
Minutes later, a cleaner Roux was shimmying into her costume while Raven came at her with her wig and false eyelashes. They hurried to complete the transformation, but the rest of the band was left waiting while they applied the finishing touches to Roux’s costume.
“You’re going to have to leave Steve’s bed a little earlier next time,” Iona said, checking her wrist as if she were wearing a watch.
“You can’t talk,” Azura said. “I barely got you to leave Kyle’s side.”
“Kyle’s here?” Roux asked, her heart filling with joy for her sister. So the man was a mind reader after all.
Iona smiled. “He took some time off to be supportive.”
Azura snorted. “He took some time off to get sex.”
Iona slapped at her. “And he wanted to visit his mum in London.” She went a bit pale. “Introduce me to his family.”
“Isn’t his mum like a hundred years old?” Azura asked. “She’s going to think you’re a child.”
Iona cringed. “Maybe she has cataracts and won’t be able to see me clearly.”
Roux was glad she’d already gotten her “meet the family” out of the way with Steve. She hoped they visited them again after the tour was over so she could meet his father too. She’d had fun at the family farm and longed for that weird but wonderful feeling of home she’d experienced.
“You know what Roux’s situation reminds me of,” Sage said, changing the subject completely, as she was prone to do. “Hannah Montana.”
“Ew. No.” Raven shook her head so vigorously, her chin-length black hair went flying out in all directions. “More like Jem.”
“Jem?” Sage scowled.
Raven looked at her as if she were daft. “That rock star chick from the eighties?”
Sage lifted her brows and shook her head, obviously not following.
“It’s a cartoon,” Roux said. Raven was a huge fan of anime and cartoons, and because they’d shared a room since puberty, Roux had little choice but to know about those things. “This would be a hell of a lot easier if I had Jem’s hologram earrings to help me change personas, but I’m ready now. Let’s go.”
Roux followed her sisters into the hallway, yelling, “See you later, Katie,” into the empty room before she shut the door.
The entire band stared at her oddly.
“It’s sad to leave Katie here by herself,” Roux said, widening her eyes and nodding to get them to play along.
Raven snorted. “Yeah, that’s what’s sad about this.” She began to sing the theme song to the Jem and the Holograms cartoon as she made her way to the elevator. After Raven’s sixth repeat of the chorus, Sage finally told her that she remembered the show just to get her to shut up about how truly outrageous Jem was.
They were shuttled via a small bus to the festival grounds. Several other bands were also on the bus—all friendly and welcoming and very loud. Roux mostly observed, finding the various personalities fascinating to watch. Iona had found a fast and ambitious friend in the lead singer of Killer Monkeys, and Azura and Sage were talking shop with several guitarists—all male, yet respectful of their female counterparts. Poor Lily was being harassed—as usual—about when her husband and the Fallen were going to make their comeback. It occurred to Roux that she was the only keyboardist present. That made her a bit of an oddity in and of itself, but she was also a quiet soul, and rock music was so loud and in your face. Maybe that was what she loved about the genre and the people who gravitated toward it. For her, the music filled a void in her otherwise serene existence. Sometimes a quiet girl just needed to rock.
“So how does it feel to debut as opener for Exodus End and Sinners?” a deep voice said behind her.
Roux turned. She knew that the spiky-haired man was in Killer Monkeys, but wasn’t sure what his name was. He must have realized that, because he extended a hand.
“Kevin. Bass player.”
Roux smiled and took his hand, giving it a firm shake. “Roux. Keyboardist.”
His smile faltered a bit, but then widened. “Are you about to shit yourself? I’d totally be shitting myself if we had to open for two huge bands right out of the gate.”
“Aren’t you kind of opening for them here?” Roux asked.
Kevin shook his head. “Festivals are different. We play on a side stage and people come and go as they please, but at a venue?” He widened his brilliant blue eyes and shook his head. “Everyone who bought a ticket to see superstars is stuck watching you.” He shrugged. “Unless they don’t show up until the headliners go on.”
A new fear niggled at Roux. What if no one showed up until the headliners went on?
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you nervous,” Kevin said. “I’m supremely jealous of your luck.”
Luck? Not skill. Or talent. Luck.
“But yeah,” he added, “if I was in your shoes, I’d be shitting myself big time.”
The guy beside him elbowed him hard in the ribs. “That’s because you have bowel issues, Kev. If I was in her shoes, I’d be dancing in the clouds.” He had long, dirty blond hair—the kind that could use a good washing—and kind, dark eyes. He extended a hand, and she smiled a greeting before shaking it. “Todd. Another bassist. So you play keyboard? I don’t think I know any keyboardists.”
“I’m a rarity.” Hence Steve giving her a hard time about it at the beginning.
“I know one.” Kevin lifted a finger and then added a second digit. “Well, two now. Is it hard to head bang while you’re playing that thing? I think it would be hard to head bang.”
Roux chuckled. “I don’t head bang.”
“Do you dance around?” Todd asked. His gaze shifted to her chest. She waited for him to recover his manners and meet her eyes before she answered.
“Maybe. Perhaps you should come check us out if you’re curious.”
“I am definitely checking you out,” Kevin said, giving her the twice-over.
Roux expected to be checked out when she was in costume; Baroquen didn’t dress in corsets and short skirts and sky-high heeled boots to be ignored. She did feel a bit uneasy when the attention was this up-close and personal, however. Especially since she was outnumbered. She really wished Steve were sitting beside her at that moment.
“I meant our music,” Roux said, careful not to put too much iciness in her tone. She wasn’t here to make enemies either. The other members of her band would have taken this opportunity to flirt. Roux had always had a more difficult time with that part of their act. “Check out our music.”
“Consider it checked,” Todd said, staring at her chest again.
“My boobs will be onstage too,” she said, tilting her head. His attention snapped to her eyes.
“Sorry, sorry. I’m just not used to being around such . . . nice . . .” His gaze started to drift downward again.
“Keyboardists,” Kevin said, slapping Todd’s arm.
“Right.”
“It’s mostly dudes around here,” Kevin added. “Total sausage fest.”
“Feel free to consider me just another dude,” Roux said.
Todd shook his head. “Not humanly possible.”
She laughed, relaxing slightly as she realized he wasn’t a threat. He thought she was attractive, and that was okay. She was supposed to be attractive while in costume. That was the whole idea.
The bus pulled to a stop, and all the men waited for the members of Baroquen to disembark before scrambling out after them. Everyone wanted to show them around and introduce them to people and be seen with them. It was kind of bizarre how well they were catered to. Was it because they would continue their tour opening for the top two headlining acts of the entire festival? Or was it because their boobs looked spectacular in their costumes?
“Everyone is so nice,” Raven said, smiling happily and hugging Roux’s arm. “I never expected this warm welcome.” She might not play an instrument or join them onstage, but Raven was definitely part of the band.
“It’s your costume design, I think,” Roux said with a laugh.
“Happy to be of assistance,” she said, adjusting a red-ribbon stay at Roux’s back. “But I think it’s more than that. You’re something special.”
Roux rolled her eyes. “And you’re too partial to judge.”
“Partial, yes, but also a good judge of star presence. And you’ve got it.”
Roux wasn’t so sure that she did, but her sisters—Raven and the ones back home included—were all superstars in her mind and heart. She supposed Raven felt the same way.
A crowd of crew and musicians had congregated near the main stage. The excitement that had been surrounding Baroquen for the past hour shifted to the four men standing in the pit. Exodus End. Now there were the real superstars of this operation. Roux forced her face to remain impassive as her eyes sought and found the tall, lean—and inexplicably shirtless—form of the man she loved but had to pretend she barely knew. He stopped laughing at something some guy she didn’t recognize had said to take a swig from a half-empty bottle of bourbon. Was he drunk? She’d seen him less than two hours ago, and he’d been almost asleep. Now he was halfway through a bottle of Jack, walking around shirtless so anyone could see that gorgeous body she so coveted, and having a grand old time.
Check yourself, Roux. He’s on tour and playing a part just like you are.
She wasn’t a huge fan of him starring in this particular role, and that confused her. That guy over there who everyone was idolizing was Steve, a man who sent her silly little gifts and always knew exactly what to say in the messages that accompanied them. A man who promised to take his time satisfying her but who managed to send her flying almost instantly. A man who claimed he was her biggest fan and groupie after making a big scene about keyboardists sucking. A man she loved so much that the very idea of losing him gave her panic attacks. He lifted his gaze and met hers across the distance. For a moment that familiar look of love crossed his handsome features, but he blinked, and his expression was replaced by impassive disinterest. He was doing exactly what she wanted him to do, so why did his indifference cut so deep?
A woman ran up to him—a member of the crew, according to her T-shirt—and began to gush. He smiled and talked to her as he signed a particularly sexy poster of himself. Roux’s hands clenched into little balls of fury as she watched.
“Tone down the jealous vibes,” Iona said near her ear. “And stop staring at him. You’re being completely obvious right now.”
With a frustrated sigh, Roux whirled to face the opposite direction and took several deep breaths. She would have to avoid him entirely in public because she sucked at acting like she didn’t care.
“We have to go greet them now,” Iona said, taking her arm. “Steel yourself.”
Roux took one more deep breath and squared her shoulders before forcing her feet to follow Iona and the rest of her band toward the pit. Don’t gush. Act friendly but impersonal. Smile. Not too much. Oh God, there are so many people watching. She should have practiced this interaction beforehand.
“Hello,” Iona said to Max. “It’s nice to see you all again. We’ve been working hard to prepare for this tour. I know we won’t disappoint you.”
“Well, if it isn’t the talentless bitches who got Zach’s band kicked off my tour,” Steve grumbled.
Say what now?