Broken down barriers and resistance to closenessYOU FINISHED! WELL done. Working through these ten essential areas wasn’t easy, was it? I’m proud of you, and I’m confident God is proud of you.
By speaking openly and honestly with each other in these ten areas, you have:
Broken down barriers and resistance to closeness
Connected on a deeper level
Come to know your spouse much better
Gained a new set of relationship skills
Learned how to achieve real spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy
Proven that you can talk about any topic, anytime, anywhere
So many couples cannot and do not talk about certain topics. So they do not come to compromises in those areas. As a result resentments build up over time. The partners pull farther and farther apart, and the number of topics they cannot talk about increases until they don’t talk about much of anything. In the end their relationship dies.
This familiar and sad scenario will not happen to you. Because you’ve done the hard work of going through this book, there isn’t anything you can’t talk about, and this critical skill will make all the difference in your relationship. Instead of experiencing decreasing levels of intimacy, you will experience increasing levels of closeness.
WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?
The apostle Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 4:1, “We instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more.” Just as Paul is urging these Christians to keep growing in their relationship with Jesus, I am asking you to keep growing in your relationship with each other. You know how to do this now, so keep on doing it!
Continue to be honest about everything. If you are upset about something your partner has said or done, tell him or her. If you have a need, speak up. If you want to ask a question, ask it. If you want to offer some constructive criticism, do it lovingly. But do it. If you have a disagreement, talk it out. If your partner does or says something you appreciate and it makes you feel loved, say so. If you have the urge to kiss your partner, pucker up right then and plant a smacker.
If you can talk about any problem, you can fix it. If you can talk about any issue, you will grow closer. Every time—every time—you talk through an issue, you grow a little bit closer.
Stay honest. Stay intentional. Stay alert because a healthy relationship requires continual attention and maintenance. I promise that you will face problems and crises. We all do. I also promise that if you commit to talking through each issue, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes, your relationship with win. Together, you will grow stronger and stronger and closer and closer.