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Tom kissing me threw me into another flurry of self-analysis. It was a dang good kiss, but, just like with Chance, I was so surprised by it that I got lost in my head instead of in the moment. How was I going to share a tent with this guy now? I'd already convinced myself I wouldn't actually be sleeping. I planned to stay awake to listen for any sound that might indicate trouble.
Back in Georgia, I'd been on a few dates since my divorce, but I really wasn't ready. I went to appease a friend who set me up or my mom. I still didn't know if I was ready to consider a serious relationship again, but it was proving challenging to juggle three good contenders. Well, maybe it's really only two. I mean Chance is nice to look at, and I feel safe when he's around, but sometimes he's a jerk. Who needs that? Of course, there's the whole issue with Jim being a lawyer like my ex. Jamison being a lawyer technically had nothing to do with our breakup if you don't count the fact that I found him in our bed with his paralegal. Maybe this juggling thing was unnecessary. If I ruled out Jim and Chance, that left Tom. He was a great guy. It might be a little complicated because his sister was my local BFF, but I thought that was a manageable complication. All of these thoughts danced around my head, as Tom broke off the kiss, put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.
We sat by the fire for a while before I started yawning. "What's the plan for tomorrow?" I asked.
"We should get to the spot in about three hours. I don't know if we'll be there for an hour or a day. We have no idea what to expect. We'll play it by ear."
That night as we settled into the tent, Tom leaned over, and I was sure he was going to kiss me. I expected it. This time I planned to stop thinking and enjoy myself. But he didn't. He said, "I want to make sure you know that I would never do something to frighten anyone. And, just to be fair, I'm pretty sure Jim and Chance wouldn't either."
I was shocked yet again. "I know that. I'm sorry."
"We should probably get some sleep," he said. I settled in, but knew it was going to be a long sleepless night for me. If I wasn't jumping at every noise, I'd be busy psychoanalyzing myself.
I guess I eventually gave in and went to sleep because when I woke up, Tom was gone, and I could hear him moving around outside the tent. My mood wavered from excited to see whatever it was Harry cared so much about and dread that my accusations would make things tense between Tom and me.
As I packed up my gear, I replayed the events of the previous day. My meltdown was real enough. I realize that I never should have accused Tom and the others. They all seem like nice guys. When I'm not scared witless, I know that even Chance would never do something like that as a joke. Then I remembered that Tom had kissed me and made me the deal about the date after my accusation. On its own, that would have made me think all was well, but his comment in the tent last night made me wonder if he had the same Jekyll and Hyde tendencies as Chance.
"Morning," Tom said when I crawled out of the tent. "Did you get any sleep?"
"Not much, but I'll manage."
The tension between us was so real I felt as though I should offer it an MRE for breakfast. We ate and cleaned up in silence. Just as I was reaching for my pack, Tom stepped in front of me. "Em, I'm sorry about last night in the tent."
"You're not the one who should be apologizing, Tom. I never should have accused you and the others. I know you’re all good guys. I was just terrified. I didn't handle it well. So, is our deal off?"
"Oh no," he said, grinning. "You're not getting out of our deal that easily. Before we head out, I just need to know one thing."
"OK."
"Do you trust me?"
"I do."
He nodded as he picked up my backpack and held it while I slipped my arms through the straps.