I HAVE BEEN getting teased in school about Rene. It seems Amelia Caper has told everyone about him taking me riding. My daddy told her daddy. I am so sick of this school and have asked Daddy if I can go to Normal School in Beaufort. Or the Female Institute. He always said he wanted me to go to one of them to get a better education before I go to any female institute up north. But when we talk about it, he never pursues the subject. He lets it lie like a dead fish between us. I think it is likely that he does not have the money. I am beginning to wonder if he is more in debt than he allows.
RENE HAS sent around the silk for Heppi's wedding gown and it is absolutely gorgeous. Mama cried when she saw it. So is the blue for my dress. And I fear it is of a more expensive quality than Daddy can afford, but he said nothing.
On the weekend, Mama and Heppi and I had meetings with the dressmaker in Beaufort. We stayed at the hotel. I know Mama was half distracted wondering after little Benjamin, but Lilly and Opal do a wonderful job with him. I missed him, too.
On Saturday evening Rene came to town and took the three of us to supper. He told us all about the silk-importing business. He owns a fifteen-ton schooner called Elizabeth. He paid mind mostly to Mama, because she was really the prettiest of us there. My mama is really beautiful. We have a portrait of her in the front hallway and she is painted in profile. Her hair is piled on top of her head and her shoulders are bare and the gown puffs around them.
Still, Heppi flirted with him like mad. It is just her way. She made me so angry I wanted to cry. She placed herself right across the table from him so he could look directly at her and monopolized all the conversation. But several times I saw Rene sneaking looks at me. And I blushed. I wonder: Why is he paying all this attention to us? Heppi is spoken for and Mama is nobody's flirt.
We came home this evening. Rene is invited to the wedding, of course.
A VERY NICE day with almost springlike weather. Daddy's people planted Irish potatoes today, and finished ginning the cotton. Little Benjamin is very cranky. I just discovered that we are invited to go with Heppi and Josh to the Eckelses' on Saturday night for a program of sacred music. Rene is calling to take Mama and me. Daddy has a dinner at his club. I don't know if I am pleased or not. It seems that all kinds of things are being done to throw me and Rene together, and I wonder, sometimes, just what Amelia Caper knows. Somehow I feel that she knows something.
WELL, WE WENT to the Eckelses' and Rene couldn't have been nicer. He fussed over Mama just as much as he fussed over me. I am starting to look at him differently, though. I am asking myself very stern questions, like, "Is he acting like a suitor?" and, "What am I supposed to act like?" and, "I must put a stop to this. But how can I?" I wouldn't want to hurt him, and somehow I think I'd be hurting Mama and Daddy, too, because by now I know they want him for me.
Next week Rene is going hunting on one of the other islands with Daddy. Josh was pleased with the Negro music at the Eckelses'. Daddy sent a load of cotton to Beaufort for sale. The boat was piled high with cotton.
Two of the two-year-olds have been broken to the saddle and bridle by Jimmy. I watched. He is so good with the horses. I told Daddy he has to have Jimmy teach somebody else, though, in case he ever decides to leave. Daddy just laughed. "My people never leave," he said. "I treat them too good."
Of course, I know it is unthinkable, but I have watched Jimmy in the paddock with the horses so much that I know I could break a two-year-old if push came to shove. Only, I would never say it to either Daddy or Mama. They think I'm enough of a hoyden the way it is.
MAMA IS ALL upset because a steamer arrived in San Francisco and there are forty-one deaths from the plague on it. These things upset Mama terribly. She worries so. I suppose the city officials in San Francisco were upset, too, because to stop the spread of the disease they burned down a whole block in Chinatown and the fire got out of control.
Went to Beaufort with Mama for a final fitting of our gowns. I declare, Heppi is acting like a five-year-old now, who has just been given candy. All she talks about is her wedding. She wanted to have it in church, but Daddy and Mama want it in our front parlor. Mama says she always dreamed of her daughter marrying in that room, because it faces the rising sun and that is good luck.
Well, much discussion about this. Church or home? Home, of course. What other way? Mama says. This is tradition. So now Mama is directing the help (or Opal is letting her think she is directing) in cleaning and polishing and shining and washing everything in sight. The house is turned upside down. I hate it.
DADDY AND RENE never did take their hunting trip. Everything seemed to interfere. The Elizabeth dropped anchor in Charleston waters with a new load of silk and Rene couldn't get away. One of Daddy's workhorses came down with distemper and had to be nursed. So they are going when they both have time. Probably not until after Heppi's wedding now. I wish I could go, not to be with Rene but because I've never been on a hunting trip with Daddy.
Why do I have the feeling that something is about to happen?
THE HOUSE is all in order and the cooking and baking have begun. Opal has an army of people under her in the kitchen, including Mama and me. Heppi is nowhere to be seen. She is up in her room, dreaming of the great day. I chopped nuts all morning for one of Opal's cakes. Heppi dreamed of a gray horse last night, and Opal says that means an upcoming happy marriage.
THERE IS NO time to think of anything but the wedding. Josh's family arrived in Charleston and we all met in Beaufort. Daddy arranged it. We had supper at the hotel in their famous dining room. Josh's parents are nice, and he has a sister my age named Alice. They are all very proud of Josh. His father looks like a captain of industry, which he is. He owns many coal mines. Josh refused to go into the business and went into studying music instead. His brother, Jeff, is in business with their father. Rene was not there. The hotel had an orchestra and I danced with Jeff. He asked me about the Gullah people, and I explained to him how we are still under Reconstruction here in Beaufort. "We're different from the rest of the South," I told him. "Reconstruction here is still going on because most of the people who lived here before the war are gone. And the blacks own a lot of the land. And we have a lot of newcomers. There are a few old planters, like my father."
With the next dance he told me about the Amish in Pennsylvania, and I was fascinated. And a feeling came over me that there are so many different kinds of people in this world whom I shall never know. And they are interesting and good and I will never get to meet them. And I felt small and useless.
We came home this night and didn't stay at the hotel.