OPAL THINKS it awful of us that we are not having Heppi's wedding in church. She calls it a "praise house." She told me how her people were converted to Christianity after the war, by missionaries, although they kind of mix Gullah traditions and songs in with it.
She says she has the praise-making spirit. I explained to her how, while we are good Episcopalians now, our ancestors were Huguenots who came here in 1685 when Huguenots came from all parts of France, and we came because we were persecuted. And that's why we are free of spirit.
We had a rehearsal for the wedding and a grand supper. Heppi put up my hair so I will have proper curls tomorrow. While she was doing it, I asked her how it felt to be going away with a man on a wedding trip.
"I trust Josh and I love him and that's all that is needed," she said. "And it will serve you right to remember that when your time comes."
WELL, HEPPI GOT married. She is now Mrs. Denning. Oh, the wedding was so beautiful. Heppi and I had made an arch of paper flowers, red and white, under which she and Josh stood. She looked so lovely in her gown. I cried when she said the words. To think that you say a few words and your life is changed forever!
We ate a sumptuous wedding supper. Opal really outdid herself, bringing dish after dish to the table. And Mama made the same wedding cake that she and Daddy had had. Later we danced in the front parlor, which had been cleared of furniture. I danced with Rene, and he said I looked wonderful in my blue silk dress. Somehow I felt that I did when he said it.
Heppi and Josh are on their wedding trip to Savannah. I can't believe it. My sister isn't my sister anymore. She belongs to someone else now. Opal sprinkled dust at her when they left, for good luck. I hope it wasn't goofer dust, because that comes from the graveyard.
SOMETHING has happened. Something changed. I felt it when I came in from riding this morning. The slant of light itself was changed inside the house.
Then Mama told me that Rene was in the library with Daddy last night after the wedding. The door was closed a long time after Heppi and Josh left. I had gone to bed and thought nothing of it until today.
At lunch today, with one daughter scarce gone and still surrounded by the Chinese lanterns strung for the wedding, and all the other furbelows, Daddy told me that Rene has asked for my hand in marriage.
I could not speak. My jaw fell open. And yet I know, deep down, I had been expecting this. I knew something was about to happen. Still, it came as a shock.
Daddy smiled. "I think the spirit of the wedding seized him," he said.
Opal was standing over me, about to pour my coffee. "He be a good man," she said. "I have many a talk with that young man." Which was true. Rene had made friends of her. She had served him many a cup of coffee when they were alone in the kitchen.
"But I'm only fifteen," was the first thing that came to my mind.
"Your mother was fifteen when we wed," Daddy said.
Mama looked so happy, still beaming from the spirit of the wedding, that I hated to ruin it for her. "Mama?" I said.
She smiled at me. "Follow your heart, Rose," she told me. "Just don't let fear into it. There's nothing to be afraid of."
"But where would we live?"
And there was the trick. They both said Brooklyn. I asked, "Where is this Brooklyn?" And they told me it is in New York. So far away! Why, it would mean leaving here, leaving Mama and Daddy and little Benjamin. He'd grow up without me.
Then Mama said, "You like Rene, don't you, Rose? I've seen how you look at him."
"Yes," I answered lamely, "but not as a husband. I mean, I'm not in love with him."
"That will come later," Mama answered, "like it did with your father and me. He was sixteen years older than me. And we made a good marriage."
I could not believe we were discussing this so calmly. But we were.
I felt a roaring in my ears. I didn't love Rene. Did he love me? I know girls marry for reasons other than love. But I always said I wouldn't do that.
"I think I want to go back to my riding," I said. And that's exactly what I did. I went to the stable, to where there were animals and people and things that I know and can trust. I had Jimmy saddle Tom Jones again, and we went out to the sand dunes, riding. Then I took him down to the water's edge and talked to him. "Brooklyn," I told him. "Can you imagine? I've heard of Brooklyn. They have a place called Coney Island that is absolutely exciting! But I won't go. And you know what, Tom? If I have to go, I'm taking you with me. I won't leave you. Not ever."
Back at the house, I lay on my bed and I cried. Because somehow I had the feeling that time had ahold of me by the back of my neck, like our cats hold their kittens, and was shaking me and wouldn't let me go.
I thought of Rene, of the nice things about him. He was refined. A real gentleman. He'd always been gentle and respectful to me. And I thought of his blue eyes.
That afternoon the buggy from the local florist came by with a bouquet of roses. I looked out the window and saw the man carry them in. Too late for the wedding, I thought. And then Mama called up the stairs. "Rose, Rose, come down. Someone just delivered flowers for you."
They were from Rene. The card read, "From an admirer, Rene."
He is coming tonight, and I sit here writing. Oh, what time is it? I must fix my hair and get dressed. I must look right. I wish Heppi were here to help me.