You should be very proud of yourselves. You’ve done something amazing, something that will change your marriage for good. We know this stuff isn’t always easy—sometimes it can be downright painful. But we also know that when couples commit to changing their patterns, when they join hands and move forward together, they can accomplish anything.
You might wrap up this book still deep in debt. You probably haven’t made a big deposit on your retirement account over the last few weeks. Your financial picture might not be any better than it was when you started reading. But you know what? That’s okay. Because you have made significant deposits in your relationship. You have made significant steps toward building a strong, healthy Money Relationship. And that’s a lot more important than any budget or savings plan.
You’ve learned about your Money Personalities and come to understand that each of us has our own way of thinking about and dealing with money. You’ve discovered that the Opposite Dynamic can create a sense of internal conflict when it comes to your personal money decisions, but you’ve also seen how your Opposite Dynamic can help you stay balanced and make smart money choices.
And you’ve learned about your spouse’s Money Personality and how it connects and collides with yours. You’ve seen that when you play off of each other’s strengths, you can conquer any money problem that comes up.
If you’ve had a history of financial infidelity in your relationship, we hope it’s been brought to light and kicked to the curb. Of everything we’ve covered in this book, this might be the one thing that takes you a while to unpack, especially if you have years of secrets and hiding and lies to deal with. But you don’t have to fix everything today. You have time and now you have a renewed sense of trust. We know that if you’re both committed to transparency in all of your money decisions, it won’t take long to repair the damage caused by financial infidelity.
You also have tools to take all of this knowledge and turn it into real action. Use your Money Dump to get everything out in the open, and then stick with your Money Huddles to keep the momentum going and plan your way back to your dreams.
When you find yourselves arguing about money, remember to Stop, Drop, and Roll to put out the flames of conflict and get yourselves cooled off. We know there will be times when you slip back into old patterns, but slipping doesn’t mean you have to get stuck there. Stand up and try again. Soon, the new habits will become your new lifestyle.
Every marriage begins with a million dreams. And now you can get those dreams back. With every decision you make together, you will be one dream closer to the life you imagined on your wedding day.