28

Her parents were constantly IN her thoughts but the trauma of their loss was fading, leaving her feeling as if she were recuperating from a prolonged bout of ’flu. But she was unquestionably on the mend. Her appetite improved. She suffered fewer violent dreams. She was able to concentrate long enough to read a novel – something she’d failed to do since their death. And – a real indication of improvement – she felt well enough to return to the shop.

Her rehabilitation was, however, tainted by the old whisper. Is that all there is? Determined to tackle this, she scoured the internet, looking for jobs or courses or anything that fired her imagination and fitted her capabilities. She forked out twenty pounds on How To Write An Impressive CV (complete with DVD and templates) but no matter how she tarted it up, her employment history boiled down to teaching English at a couple of run-of-the-mill comprehensive schools. It didn’t help that most job specifications were pumped full of jargon and even after several readings, she had little idea what the wretched job entailed. She made the mistake of mentioning to Naomi that she was looking for something which would stretch her and her daughter deluged her with details of outlandish posts in exotic places, obviously reflecting her own fantasies.

Naomi brought the children for a weekend. Rosa, full of her new school, insisted on showing them every one of her textbooks. Max seemed delighted by his sister’s elevation to ‘big school’ which Miriam guessed had a lot to do with his no longer being labelled ‘Rosa Garrett’s kid brother’. When asked if there was anything in particular they wanted to do whilst they were there, they reeled off a list. Swimming (with Bing). Football in the park (with Bing). A takeaway Chinese (in a box shaped like a house). It was their first visit since the funeral and Miriam thought Naomi might want to visit the house or the cemetery, but she mentioned neither.

As they sat around the kitchen table, juggling foil containers and struggling with chopsticks, Miriam recalled Hazel’s question. What’s most important to you? It was a no brainer. She wanted – needed – to be embedded in her family’s daily lives, not parked on the periphery, morphing into an ageing relative to be dutifully visited a couple of times a year. As Frankie had insisted, doctors could work anywhere. People relocated all the time. So what was the problem? If Bing’s goal was to keep her to himself, he was the problem. His track record with his family wasn’t encouraging. Why would he want to integrate with hers? Besides, if she were to talk him into moving, she would be duty bound to be deliriously happy every minute of every day – a ghastly and unrealistic prospect.

Torrential rain and ferocious gales swept the country taking out bridges and railway tracks and bringing floods to Cumbria, Scotland and Wales. The city escaped the worst of it but it was bad enough. Water surged up through storm drains. Traffic had to be re-routed to avoid low-spots where surface water collected in menacing pools. The river burst its banks in several places, creating lakes complete with bobbing gulls. When she checked the empty house, leaves had blocked the drains and the patio was under a couple of inches of water. There were puddles on the sills in the living room and a wet patch on the bathroom ceiling. The bedding felt damp.

‘I’ve been thinking,’ she said to Bing, ‘whatever we finally decide to do, it would be better if the house were occupied through the winter months.’

‘You want to let it? Mmmm. That might work.’

She wrinkled her nose. ‘Wouldn’t that involve safety certificates and contracts and heaven knows what else? No. I was thinking more of an informal arrangement. Offering it to someone for a few months. They could keep an eye. Be a sort of caretaker.’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘I take it you mean Frankie.’

‘Well, yes. She knows the house inside out. She’d be my first choice.’

‘And your second choice would be…?’

‘Don’t be so grumpy. It’s just a thought. It’d mean we needn’t fret about damp and frozen pipes and intruders.’ She paused. ‘I wouldn’t have to spend so much time there.’

‘Have you thought this through?’ he said.

‘Not in fine detail. I wanted to discuss it with you. It feels wrong that a house belonging to me is standing empty whilst my best friend has nowhere decent to live. Mum and Dad liked Frankie. They’d think it was a good thing to do.’

‘Wouldn’t it be simpler to sell and have done with it?’

‘Simple doesn’t necessarily mean right,’ she said. ‘And what if Danny comes back? He’s going to need somewhere—’

‘Mim, my love, Danny isn’t coming back. This has been going on long enough. It’s time to let him go.’

‘No. You can’t say that. You aren’t allowed to decide whether he’s alive or dead.’

He held his hands up in submission. ‘All I’m trying to say is that your brother’s absence is blighting your life.’

‘D’you think I don’t know that? I’m worn out with it.’ She began to cry. ‘What’s the matter with my family? They’re incapable of dying normal deaths.’

She felt Bing’s arms around her. ‘Shhhh. Don’t upset yourself. Look. If Frankie moving in for a while eliminates one of your worries, why don’t you ring her now? See how she’s fixed.’

She left several messages before Frankie got back to her. She was in Gloucester, working in a hotel and renting a room in a ‘friend of a friend’s’ flat. Details were sketchy but judging by what wasn’t said, the set-up was grim. Miriam had been pondering the best way to put her proposal. ‘We were wondering if you could do us a favour.’ She explained that the house needed looking after through the winter and that Frankie would be doing them a great service by moving in. Acting as a sort of concierge. Of course, if she were happy where she was… Frankie wasn’t daft. She knew what was going on but she played along with it. She’d think about it. Were she to say yes, she’d have to find work of course – but she should be able to pick something up, especially with Christmas on the horizon. Could she have a couple of days to weigh it up? She phoned back next evening accepting the offer and they agreed she would move in as soon as she could get herself organised.

When Miriam told Naomi of the arrangement, she detected a note of reticence in her daughter’s ‘what a great idea, Mum’. And she began having a few doubts of her own. If Frankie failed to find a job, she’d be at a loose end, without money or friends, or anything to keep her busy. More troubling still, what if she acquired a band of hangers-on – lame ducks needing a roof over their heads? ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ she asked Hazel.

‘It’s your house. It’s up to you what you do with it.’ Hazel paused. ‘It might be wise to lay down a few ground rules.’

‘I’m not sure how I would do that, or what those rules would be. Frankie’s not a teenager who can be told.’

‘Fair enough.’ Another pause. ‘Didn’t you tell me that she and Paul were once an item?’

‘For a few months. When we were at school. Then she got bored and passed him on to me. Why d’you ask?’

‘Is that likely to cause a problem? Old girlfriend back on the scene. That sort of thing.’

‘Absolutely not. For one thing, they don’t get on.’

‘So will that cause a problem?’

Miriam had a set of keys cut and stocked the fridge with essentials. She aired the beds, washed the towels and bumped up the central heating, occasionally stopping to remind herself that she was landlady not hostess. Frankie arrived with two suitcases and a backpack. (How could a woman of her age have so few worldly goods?) Noting how defeated she looked, Miriam knew she’d been right in offering her friend respite. Frankie must have been mulling over the implications of the set-up and they were hardly through the door before she was reassuring Miriam that should she decide to sell the house, or want to live there herself, or should she change her mind about anything, she had only to say the word.

‘I won’t smoke in the house. Or pester you and Bing. And you must make a list of jobs. I want to be useful. You’ll tell me if I’m doing anything wrong, won’t you? To be honest, things haven’t been brilliant recently. I’ve done more than my fair share of stupid things but I’m not going to fuck this up.’

Driving off, leaving her friend on her own, Miriam was a whisker away from inviting her back for dinner. But for this arrangement to succeed, Frankie must stand on her own two feet.

‘Did you discuss household bills?’ Bing said.

‘What?’

‘You can’t be thinking of paying the woman’s running costs.’

‘Of course not. She can be irresponsible but she’s not stupid. She knows she’s getting a good deal.’

‘I should bloody well hope she does.’

‘We’ll sort out the bills in the next day or two but I can’t start straight in asking for money before she’s even unpacked.’

‘It’s the perfect time if you ask me.’ He shook his head and shrugged.

‘She’s changed, Bing. She’s determined not to screw this up.’

‘This is Frankie Slattery we’re talking about?’

‘Please don’t be snarky. We’re not going to fall out over this are we?’

‘Of course not.’ He sighed. ‘Sorry if I seem negative but I worry she’ll let you down.’

‘I’m sure it’s the right thing to do. She says she’ll start looking for a job tomorrow.’

‘I may be able to help there. The dentists on the other side of the square are looking for a receptionist. Their new girl’s walked out on them and they’re desperate.’

‘Really? She’s done loads of admin work. And she’s terrific with people. It sounds ideal.’

Frankie went for an interview and started immediately. Within a few weeks, by all accounts she was running the place. The dentists sent over a bottle of whisky for Bing as a thank you for finding them such a ‘treasure’.

The issue of household bills was soon sorted out. They would cover standing charges – Frankie would cover the balance. When Miriam put this to her, Frankie confessed to having no money at all. This came as no great surprise to Miriam who insisted on lending her four hundred pounds to tide her over. ‘Best we keep this between us,’ she said. ‘Pay me back as and when.’

‘I don’t know how to thank you, Mim.’ Frankie dipped her head. ‘I haven’t forgotten the two hundred you hid in my suitcase that time. It may take a while but I’m going to pay back every penny. For once in my life I’d like to do things properly.’

‘Is Paul happy with her being there?’ Hazel said.

‘He’s getting used to it. To be honest, it’s not made much difference. We don’t see a lot of her. I pop in for an occasional chat and to pick up bits of mail. She’s had dinner with us once. She’s doing her best not to intrude.’

‘Doesn’t she have any family?’

‘A couple of brothers but they’ve always been useless. She never mentions them. She puts on a brave face but it’s obvious she was at rock bottom. As far as I can make out, she’s had no support from anyone in a long while.’

‘Except you, that is. Not many people would do what you’re doing.’

‘It’s no big deal. We’re not desperate for the money and in fact hanging on to the place is probably the smart thing to do with house prices on the rise.’

‘There’s more to it than that though, isn’t there?’ Hazel said.

‘I suppose so. My parents liked her. They didn’t have a clue what she was about but I think she brought a breath of fresh air into their conventional lives. If they’d known she was struggling, they’d have offered her a home, I’m sure of that.’ She paused. ‘Having someone they were fond of living there, makes their absence easier to cope with. Does that make any sort of sense?’

Hazel nodded. ‘Absolutely. My parents bought their house when they were newlyweds. They lived in it all their married life. Every square inch of it was steeped in them. When Dad died there was no question of Mum moving. All her memories were there. When she died, I had no choice but to sell. Having strangers move in whilst they – or their essence – was still tangible, was an affront to their memory. It pained me to walk past the place. Real physical pain. Your parents will be comfortable sharing their home with your friend until they’re ready to leave.’

Miriam shivered. ‘That’s it exactly. The essence of them is still there and I suppose it will be until I can bring myself to accept they really have gone.’ She held out her bare arm. ‘Look, I’m all goosebumps.’

Christmas had been a mirage, off in the distance, blurry and illusory, but when the calendar flipped to December, Miriam was forced to acknowledge its reality.

Naomi invited them to go there, peppering her offer with ‘no pressure’ and ‘don’t feel you have to’. Bing’s children, it seemed, all had ‘longstanding commitments’ which ruled them out, and made things easier. She had no idea what Frankie was planning to do. She’d made a crowd of friends at work and was going to a Christmas ‘do’ at the golf club. But Christmas Day itself was sure to be tough. The thought of her eating her solitary Christmas meal and, more than likely, drinking herself into oblivion was distressing.

As The Day drew nearer, Bing said he would be happy to go along with whatever she wanted. She’d love to be with the children on Christmas Day but she knew he’d prefer to stay at home. And then there was Frankie. She dithered for a few days until Max clinched it by emailing imploring them to come, saying Christmas wouldn’t be any fun without them. And should he happen to get the Lego set he ‘needed’, Bing would be welcome to help build it.

‘Why don’t we drive to them on Christmas morning?’ she said. ‘We can have a Christmas Eve celebration here. Just we two.’

‘I’m always banging on about myself,’ Frankie said when Miriam called with a Christmas card. ‘How are you?’

‘I miss them, of course I do, but sometimes I feel sad that I don’t feel sadder, if you know what I mean. I’ve been trying to remember my last conversation with them. I have a feeling it had to do with tinned tomatoes. They got it into their heads that processed tomatoes are the elixir of life. They’d stockpiled dozens of tins of the wretched things.’

‘Better tinned tomatoes than incontinence pads,’ Frankie said.

‘You’re right. They were old but in remarkably good health. They went together. They didn’t suffer. That’s probably as good as it ever gets. All the same, it doesn’t stop my wishing I’d been able to say a proper goodbye.’

‘Poor Mim. We rely on you, don’t we? Bing. Naomi. Me. Perhaps, once in a while, you ought to let us down. Make us realise how much you do for us.’ She clapped her hands. ‘I nearly forgot.’

She took a notebook from her handbag, ‘I.O. Mim’ written on the cover. Inside were two crisp notes. ‘Here’s another twenty. That brings it down to four hundred and ninety.’

‘Are you sure?’ Miriam said. ‘Don’t leave yourself short over the break. Look, will you be okay?’

‘Didn’t I tell you? One of our dental nurses – Jen – works with the homeless. She asked me to lend a hand over the holiday. Quite a turn-up, don’t you think? I’m usually the charity case but, thanks to you, I’m in a position to help someone else. It feels really good.’