The horrible red head turned toward them. Lady Iolana Staff felt a thrill of fear as the great yellow eyes met her own. It was by far the closest she’d ever been to a tyrannosaurus. The great black body pivoted toward them and took a single step in their direction. She could hear it sucking air through its fist-sized nostrils even at a hundred yards away.
“You mustn’t be frightened,” said her father’s voice at her shoulder. “You must never be frightened.”
“I can be frightened, can’t I?” wondered Benny Markham.
“Quiet,” said Mr. Staff. “Everyone take careful aim. Remember what we talked about. You want the spot right between those useless little arms. I shall be very cross if anyone shoots it in the head and ruins the trophy.
Iolana raised her rifle to her shoulder just as the monster took a second step toward the group of humans and lizzies. In her peripheral vision, she could see Benny, Walter, and Augie doing the same thing. Although just outside the range of her eyes, she knew that Ascan was as well.
“Not yet,” said Mr. Staff. “Let’s see if she’ll get a little closer.”
It seemed as if the creature simply went from standing still one moment, to running at them with the speed of a locomotive. Opening its great jaws, it unleashed the most horrible roar that could be imagined. All four of the others began firing, but even with the tyrannosaurus bearing down upon them, Iolana could feel her father’s eyes watching her rather than the beast. She fired ten perfectly centered rounds in eight seconds, before calmly dropping the clip from the bottom of the rifle and slapping in another. The second clip proved entirely unnecessary, as the monster dropped to the ground, her massive blood-red head still fifteen feet away.
Iolana flipped on the safety and slung the rifle to her shoulder before turning to Mr. Staff, who stood smiling at her, his own firearm still cradled, unused, in his arm.
“Well done,” he said.
“Sweet Kafira, full of grace, thanks for our protection,” whispered Walter Charmley.
“No offense to your beliefs,” said Benny, “but I’d like to thank whoever invented the repeating rifle.”
“Oliver Winston-Davies,” said Iolana, stepping away from the others and toward the tyrannosaurus. “In 1855. Thankfully ours are rather improved over his model.”
“Be careful Iolana,” called Ascan Tice. “Make sure it’s dead before you get too close.”
“She’s dead,” replied Iolana, reaching down and placing her palm against the blood red skin just behind the creature’s still open yellow eye.
The monstrous hind leg kicked into the air. Several of the others jumped, and Benny let out a squeak.
“It’s nothing but her reflexes,” said Iolana. “You were the queen of your world, weren’t you?”
She then turned and sat on the creature’s neck. “Let’s have a photograph, then. Are you ready, Mr. Buttermore?” She placed the butt of her rifle on the dinosaur’s jaw, holding it upright beside her. She lifted her chin and smiled with only a little bit of a smirk.
Edin Buttermore was indeed setting up the hatbox-sized camera on its tripod.
“Almost ready for you, My Lady. Let’s adjust the focal length. Here we go. Now hold still… There we have it. That will make a spectacular print.”
“I’m surprised you were willing to carry all that equipment out here into the wilderness,” said Benny.
“These are some of the first good dinosaur pictures,” said Buttermore. “I could get famous from these. Besides, I thought it would be a good idea to be out of town until the Drache Girl left.”
“It’s not your fault that her picture just appeared in all of those books,” Benny replied. “She knows that. Senta’s quite reasonable. Not that I’m saying I wouldn’t have chosen to get out of town, had I been in your position.”
“I knew that photo would be trouble years ago when I took it. I didn’t even want to. But how do you say no to Zurfina?”
“A naked Zurfina, at that,” added Ascan.
“Yes, well, even Senta couldn’t say no to her. As I recall, she didn’t want to sit for the picture, and it turns out, I suppose, she had good reason.”
Iolana stepped away from the dead tyrannosaurus as the lizzies hurried forward and began hacking at the neck.
“Careful there!” yelled Staff. “Cut down a little lower!”
“All in all, I think it’s been a very satisfactory day,” said Augie.
“That it has, Lord Dechantagne,” said Benny.
“The proper address is ‘My Lord’,” said Augie.
“We don’t bother with all of that,” said Staff.
“No, we don’t need to bother with all that,” said Augie.
“The next man who calls me Sir Radley may wind up with my boot stuck up his keister,” continued Staff.
Both Benny and Ascan glanced at Iolana to see if she would blush at her father’s colorful language, but she just grinned.
“Well, the lizzies seem to have everything in order now. Shall we head on home, Iolana?”
“Yes, Father.”
“Augie?”
“Sure. We’ve got everything we came for.”
Lord Augustus Marek Virgil Dechantagne, Earl of Cordwell, March Lord of Birmisia, Viscount Dechantagne, and Baron of Halvhazl, was a sturdy boy who had just turned eleven years of age. He had shot up in height over the past summer, and didn’t seem as chubby as he once had. His hair, light brown in his early years, was darkening to a warm chestnut. Beautiful, long lashes shaded his dark blue eyes. As for the rest of his features, they were just like those of his father, Iolana’s uncle Terrence, whose portrait hung in the foyer of the family mansion, next to that of his younger brother Augustus P. Dechantagne.
“Let’s gather up the gear then.”
Iolana pointed to the weapons and equipment, hissing to the lizzie bearers in their own language. It was they who did the actual gathering of gear, as well as the carrying of same gear, while the humans walked to the iguanodons waiting to transport them back to town.
Once home at the Dechantagne Staff estate, the guests loaded their things into their cars and began to depart. Mr. Buttermore left first, followed by Benny Markham, Walter Charmley having left the group before reaching town. He would take the iguanodons back to his dinosaur ranch. Ascan Tice stood just off to the left side of the front steps. Iolana, two steps up, could just about look him in the eye.
“I’m very glad your father invited me today,” he said. “It was quite an adventure.”
“I’m glad you came too, Ascan. You and Willa are very… precious to me.”
“Thanks. I like you too.”
“As a friend though, right?”
“What do you mean?” he wondered.
“Ascan, they’re going to try and marry me off soon, and I like you too much to see you get mixed up in this family.”
A strange look came over his face. “I’ll be honest. I hadn’t thought along those lines yet…”
“There’s no reason you should. We’re both too young. Well, I’m too young. Anyway, I’d appreciate it if you declined similar offers from my parents. You and I can still get together as friends, but I don’t want them thinking they can just arrange our future.”
“If you think it’s best,” he said.
“I do.”
“I will always be here for you, Lana.”
“I know that,” she said. “Good bye.”
Iolana turned and marched up the steps, walking into the house as the front door was opened for her by the majordomo. She didn’t stop, but made her way up the sweeping staircase, down the hall, and into her room. After shutting the door behind her, she threw herself on her bed and burst into tears.
It was more than an hour later, weeping having given way to sleep, when she felt a gentle shake on her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she could see only Esther’s snout.
“Good grief, what a thing to do—attacking me in my slumber.”
“It’s time for dinner,” said Esther.
“I don’t want to eat.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Fine. Find me something to wear.”
Esther nodded, and stepped to the wardrobe. She returned a minute later with a lilac evening dress, trimmed in silver, with artificial flowers in many shades of blue trailing down the bustle.
“That’s not a dinner dress. How am I supposed to sit down?”
“Turn the chair sssideways, like I do.”
Iolana sighed and got up. “Why must I do everything myself?”
She found her rose and black lace dinner dress. Slipping out of her khaki skirt and removing her blouse, she stepped into the dress, pulling it up over her shoulders. Then she waited for Esther to fasten it up the back. Stepping to the cheval glass, she examined her reflection.
“Heavens. My hair is a mess.”
“Just add a couple of hair pins,” said Esther, rushing to help. “There. Now put on your black top hat.”
“Yes, that will have to do,” said the girl, at last.
At the bottom of the staircase, Iolana and Esther ran into Terra, who was just coming through the door from the foyer with her grandparents. Terra’s maternal grandfather was former mayor Zeah Korlann, a distinguished man of sixty-two, with grey hair and a regal face. His much younger wife Egeria, who had a perfect alabaster complexion and beautiful fire-colored hair, was a full foot shorter than he was. Her white lace dinner dress was cut to accommodate her current condition.
“Sweet Kafira, Egeria, you’re as big as a house,” said Iolana.
“Please don’t speak of it,” replied the woman, her face turning furiously red. “It’s not appropriate.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being in a family way. You’re been married for years. It’s kind of what people expect.”
“Not at my age,” she said.
“But you’ve only just turned forty-one. There are plenty of women in town your age who are…”
“You don’t speak about a lady’s age!” Egeria face was so red now that she looked a little like a tomato.
“Don’t fret about it, Dear,” said Mr. Korlann, taking his wife by the shoulders and steering her toward the dining room. He looked at Iolana and used his index finger to draw a crazy circle next to his temple as he crossed his eyes. “We’ll eat a large meal and everyone will think you’re just fat.”
Terra leaned close to Iolana. “I think her mind is going weak. They say it always happens to geniuses. They say Abner Carloff, the inventor of telegraph, died in an insane asylum.”
“That’s completely untrue,” said Iolana, with a frown. “He died in Brech City in 1872, in his own bed in his mansion, with all his children around him, and left an estate worth nine million marks.”
“Well, maybe the baby is pulling all the blood away from her brain.”
“It’s not pulling it away from her face,” said Esther. “I thought it was going to pop.”
“Come on,” said Iolana.
The three filed into the dining room. The Korlanns were the only guests this evening, though all of the household members were present—the three cousins, Esther, Auntie Yuah, Iolana’s mother, and of course, her father.
Sir Radley Staff was the kind of man that any girl would have wanted for a father, and the kind of man that every girl wanted to grow up to marry. A former naval commander, and now Baron of Saxe-Lagerport-Drille, he was tall, lean, and muscular. His light blond hair and clean-shaven, freckled face made him look far younger than his forty-one years. His small nose and well-formed mouth made him almost too pretty. He was the type of man that magazines would illustrate at the top of a mountain peak, or that the government might put on a poster to encourage military enlistment. In short, he was a hero. Iolana had long ago gotten used to seeing women, young and old, gaze longingly after her father. It was the thing that most made life worth living—knowing that she was the most important thing in the world to him.
A line of lizzie waiters filed out of the kitchen and served the plates in unison. The meal was liver and bacon sauté, served with roasted potatoes, onions, and asparagus. There was also a platter piled high with hot cross buns. Liver wasn’t Iolana’s favorite, but she didn’t mind it. She knew that Esther loved it though.
“Come on!” shouted Augie. “You’d think I could get some food I like in Birmisia at least, seeing as how I’m March Lord of Birmisia!”
“Augustus,” said Mr. Korlann. “Liver is good for you. It’s full of… important things.” He looked at his wife. “What were they calling those nutrients in food that you were telling me were discovered by that Bordonian scientist?”
“Dr. Bellis,” said his wife. “He calls them vitamins—vita meaning life, and amine because they were found in thiamine compounds. And I didn’t realize that you actually listened to me when I talk about such things.”
“There you go, my boy, vitamins for life.”
“Your grandfather is right,” said Mr. Staff. “There were many days at sea that I would have killed for a good plate of liver and onions. My mother always told me it was good for the blood. I’m glad to see that science is finally catching up with the old girl.”
“I’ve already got one liver safely inside me,” Augie replied. “I don’t need any more.”
He snapped his fingers at one of the lizzies and hissed out a string of commands in the native tongue. His plate was removed, and a minute or so later, was replaced with one containing a ham and cheese sandwich.
“I can’t tell you how good it is to be back to hearth and home,” said Mr. Staff. “That trip back to Brechalon was interminable.”
“I had a jolly good time,” said Augie.
“Of course you did, and you should. You’re a young man. When you get a little older, you can take the whole tour—Freedonia, Mirsanna, maybe even down to Argrathia and see the pyramids.”
“Yes, that sounds like fun,” agreed Augie.
“It sounds quite frightening,” said Terra. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“Well, you will have to go home to university,” said Mr. Staff.
“Not necessarily,” said Mrs. Korlann. “The University of Birmisia is coming along quite well.”
“With the Egeria Korlann School of Mathematics and Calculation Mechanics,” added Mr. Korlann.
“And the Zeah Korlann School of Political Science,” finished his wife.
“The school is a great source of pride for Birmisia Colony,” said Governor Iolanthe Staff. “But the girl is a Dechantagne. She must matriculate at St. Dante.”
“Well, I’m going to study here,” said Augie. “Then I’ll take that tour of the world Uncle Radley was talking about.”
“Fine for you,” said Iolanthe. “She’s a girl, however, and must be readied for a good match.”
“It’s not enough you’re trying to marry me off,” Iolana hissed at her mother. “Now you’re after poor Terra?”
“Nonsense,” said Mr. Staff. “Your mother is talking about things that are years away in the future. If we need to marry anyone off, it’s that one over there.”
“Me?” said Auntie Yuah, with a gasp. “Nobody’s going to want me. Besides, I have to take care of Augie and Terra. They’re still children.”
“That’s right,” said Augie. “She can’t marry anyone. She’s my mum.”
“Now Augie, your mother is a beautiful woman. She would be quite a catch for any man, even if she weren’t the mother of an earl. She’s still young and she should have a man to take care of her.”
“Perhaps Yuah and Augustus are right,” said Mr. Korlann, who still saw Yuah as his little girl. “She does have a full day seeing to her children. Taking care of a husband would distract her from that.”
“You should listen to my Grandpa,” said Augie. “He’s a wise man.”
“You can all stop talking about me like I’m not here!” shouted Auntie Yuah.
“Yuah’s shouting. It must be time for the dessert course,” said Iolanthe.
“But I’m not done with my liver,” said Terra.
“Perhaps we should all change the subject,” said Mr. Staff.
“Yes, Father,” said Iolana. “Returning to the subject of university, I recently finished taking the new college entrance examination. I’ve posted it back to Brech and hope to hear my results by aerogram in a few month’s time.”
“Isn’t it wonderful that we can connect with Brechalon so quickly?” said Egeria Korlann. “Twenty days by airship and then telegraph from Mallontah…”
“That was a pointless exercise,” Iolana’s mother interrupted. “There is no way that St. Dante would refuse any of our family.”
“I’m not going to St. Dante,” said Iolana. “I’m going to study literature with a minor in history, and perhaps one in biology as well. I haven’t quite decided. I’m going to Ponte-a-Verne or Wissenschaften in Bangdorf, at the very least the University of Brechalon.”
“What exactly are you saying is wrong with St. Dante?”
“Nothing at all,” replied Iolana. “It’s a perfectly adequate school if one isn’t interested in serious research.”
“Again, we’ve taken to arguing about things that are many years away,” said Mr. Staff, grasping his wife’s clenched fist in his hand. “The girl doesn’t turn fourteen for a month and a half.” He turned to his daughter. “And speaking of, what are we hoping for a birthday present this year?”
“Some degree of self-determination might be nice,” said Iolana.
Mr. Staff tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling with a sigh.
“Perhaps a special book that you’ve been wanting?” he asked, after composing himself and directing his attention back to her.
Iolanthe, always of the opinion that her daughter read far too much, gave a derisive snort.
“I’ll give it some thought,” said Iolana.
“Will you be back at studies, tomorrow?”
“Terra, Esther, and Dee Dee are all caught up on their lessons, but I will need to evaluate Lord Dechantagne to make sure that he has kept up his studies while away.”
“Aw, crap!” said Augie.
After dinner, the family gathered in the parlor. The Korlanns and the Staffs discussed the prospectors traveling east into lizzie territory to find gold. A few had come back with bags full of large gold nuggets. A few had come back with nothing. Most had not come back. Either they were still searching for gold or they had been eaten by gorgosauruses, or perhaps some other deadly predators of the region. This hadn’t discouraged anyone from joining them. Augie listened carefully, but made no comments.
Auntie Yuah, Esther, Iolana, and Terra played a subdued game of Whispy. After half an hour, Auntie Yuah’s head began to nod. Terra stood up and took her by one arm and Iolana took the other. They guided her out of the room, up the stairs, and to her bedroom, Esther trailing along behind them. Once she was in bed, the three of them adjourned to Iolana’s bedroom.
“Must you start a fight with your mother at every meal?” asked Terra. “I wanted to hear more of Uncle Radley’s stories about Brechalon and meeting the King.”
“I didn’t start it. She’s just a vicious, bloody, old cow.”
“She’s the only mother you’ll ever have.”
“That is a blessing, I suppose,” said Iolana. “If I had two, I would kill myself.”
“Enough,” said Terra. “On a totally different subject, did you look at it?”
“Of course I looked at it. How could I not? It’s just right there.” Iolana fetched her copy of Mr. Wissinger’s book and opened it to the center page, revealing the photograph of the two sorceresses sitting together, naked. “It’s funny how much they look alike.”
“Well, they are mother and daughter,” Terra pointed out. “We look like our mothers, too.”
Iolana glared at her. “I mean they look alike right down to their tattoos. I wonder where they got them done.”
“Why?”
“Maybe I should get a tattoo—a really big one. Then my parents wouldn’t have to worry about marrying me off. No man would want me.”
“I don’t think that’s born out by the evidence,” said Terra. “There are plenty of men who are quite taken with the Drache Girl, and if the book is to be believed, there were lots and lots of men who wanted Zurfina.”
“Hmm. Did you finish reading the book?”
“Yes. Some parts twice.”
“And how about you, Esther?” asked Iolana. “Did you finish?”
“Yesss. You?”
“You already know I did. I finish two books a day. That was my evening book the day before yesterday.”
“Senta must be mortified,” said Terra. “Can you imagine, somebody publishing a picture of you with no clothes on? It’s kind of like that dream I used to have where I went to fetch Augie from the train station, only to find out when I got there that I forgot to wear my hat.”
“Yes, it’s practically the same,” said Iolana, dryly. “Perhaps I wouldn’t need a tattoo. If I just appeared in print, naked, then no man would want me. They would all think I was a wanton or a deviant.”
“You keep thinking of ways to make yourself more unappealing and coming up with ways that would make you more appealing, at least in a certain way,” said Terra.
“But at least I wouldn’t have to marry anyone. Esther and I could live in a big house and be old maids together. I could study and write and everyone would leave us alone. That would be fine, wouldn’t it, Esther?”
“Would we get a maid?” wondered the lizzie. “Or would that have to be me?”
“You may think that now, but some day you’ll find a man and fall in love,” said Terra. “You’ll want to marry him and have children with him. It’s only natural. The world must be peopled.”
“It’s not for me,” said Iolana. “I will never marry anyone… ever.”
“You’re just saying that because you never want to do anything that anyone tells you to do.”
“Because,” said Iolana, “the only one who tells me what to do is my mother.”