THE MITCHELL REPORT


There’s nothing inherently weird about the distinguished, beloved, and iconic Canadian singer Joni Mitchell. Or is there?

  While Mitchell’s mother was pregnant with her, she had the measles, and Mitchell herself contracted polio at age eight. These resulted in what Mitchell called physical “anomalies,” that made her unpopular in high school and “tricky knuckles,” or weaknesses in her hands that (some have written) compelled her to create the alternate guitar tunings for which she is famous.

  Mitchell wrote “Woodstock,” the defining song about the historic 1969 music festival. Except that she wasn’t there. She was stuck in New York City, booked to appear on The Dick Cavett Show. Her boyfriend at the time, Graham Nash, described the festival to her. Later Nash remarked that Mitchell captured the experience of Woodstock perfectly; in fact she captured it better than anyone who was actually there.

  She doesn’t always get along with other musicians. “Americans have decided to be stupid and shallow since 1980,” she told the Los Angeles Times in 2010. “Madonna is like Nero; she marks the turning point.” And as for her once friend Bob Dylan, she said, “Bob is not authentic at all. He’s a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is a deception.”

  According to Mitchell, her pet peeves are the music business (“a cesspool”), celebrity obsession (“people will flick their Bic at anything”), and current music (“appallingly sick, with boring chord movement”).

  Mitchell started smoking cigarettes very young, but to this day she denies a link between her smoking and obvious changes in her vocal range and ability. It’s her age, she says, that impacts her voice, adding “I have smoked since I was nine so obviously it didn’t affect my early work that much.” Also a well-respected painter, she further notes that making music was at first a “hobby,” a way for her to pay for cigarettes while attending art school.

 

Anna Haining Bates (1846–1888) was a giantess. The Nova Scotian measured 2.28 m (7’ 6”) tall.