Who are you going to call when you need government or corporate documents translated from gobbledygook into plain English? Prosebusters! This Ottawa-based company edits hard-to-comprehend documents to help their clients find “the shortest distance between a concept and its readers.” Here are a few before-and-after examples taken from real documents that they’ve edited.
Original: “To make these determinations requires a flow of information that allows appropriate and timely action to be taken in relation to activities that are consummated within a very short time span.”
Prosebusted: “Good judgements require a steady stream of accurate information even when events happen quickly.”
Original: “In the context of a climate of serious financial restraint within the federal government, there are now strong imperatives to manage resources with improved efficiency thereby reducing the longer term costs to the government’s administration.”
Prosebusted: “The federal government, facing severe financial restraint, must cut costs and manage more efficiently.”
Original: “The most critical area of exposure to athletes is without a doubt the immediate playing environment. It is important that a visual inspection of the facility occur, and deficiencies be rectified, prior to the competition.”
Prosebusted: “For athletes’ safety, look over the playing field and fix any problems before competition begins.”
Original: “Active involvement had taken place concerning the departmental restructuring of the exercise through the formation of a branch committee to deal with and advise on all human resource aspects of the exercise.”
Prosebusted: “We have started a committee to help employees affected by transfers and layoffs.”
July 14, 1968: In five minutes, 17.8 mm (.7”) of rain fell on the city of Winnipeg.
Original: “Since the plan reflects the department’s developing vision of the future, it will be amended annually to incorporate those changes in the vision which occur as it matures.”
Prosebusted: “The plan will be reviewed every year and changed as needed.”
Original: “Some combination of these meetings should be attended on an ongoing basis.”
Prosebusted: “Go to these meetings occasionally.”
Original: “We have agreed to concur on the recommendations for the two staffing processes.”
Prosebusted: “We accept the recommended candidates.”
Original: “This document is the overarching and enabling pivot that plows the field and accelerates the implementation of all major activities in an attempt to realize the Office’s Vision.”
Prosebusted: “Meaningless tripe.”
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FACEBOOK FOR NARCISSISTS
If you like yourself—if you really, really like yourself—Adam and Kirk Johnson have the social network for you. The duo from Petersborough, Ontario, have created the Web service ilooklikeyou.com so people can find others who look just like they do and perhaps strike up an online relationship. Users of the free social network upload a front-facing photo of themselves, and then that photo can be matched with members from the network’s global community. Users choose which other members they think most resemble them and then display their lookalikes on their profile page for others to see.
The founders say that the site can help reunite identical twins who were separated at birth. And it may also be able to help find missing persons; if someone recognizes a posted face and can post a match, there’s a chance that the missing person can be located.
Born in London, Ontario, actor Hume Cronyn was once an Olympic-level boxer.